by J. Daniels
WHERE WE BELONG
Copyright @ 2015 J. Daniels.
All Rights Reserved
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, events, and other elements portrayed herein are either the product of the author’s imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to real persons or events is coincidental.
No part of this book may be reproduced, storied in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form, or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without prior permission of the author.
Cover design ©
Kari March, K23 Design
Cover Photography
Perrywinkle Photgraphy
Interior design and formatting
Christine Borgford, Perfectly Publishable
Where We Belong
Dedication
Prologue
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
What I Need ~ Coming Soon
Playlist
Acknowledgements
Books by J. Daniels
About the Author
Sweet Addiction ~ Chapter One
This book is dedicated to Kellie Richardson.
Of course.
Mia
IF SOMEONE WOULD’VE TOLD ME ten, fifteen years ago that not only would I eventually like Benjamin Kelly, my greatest tormentor, but that I would fall completely in love with him and marry the guy . . . well, I’m not sure what I would’ve said. Ten, fifteen years ago I probably would’ve directed whoever was spouting that nonsense to Tessa and let her handle them.
Even as a preteen, she would’ve had a very colorful response.
But me? I think I’d have stood there, disbelieving, probably a bit disgusted, but maybe, maybe the tiniest, concealed part of me would’ve smiled a little at the idea of him liking me, falling completely in love with me, marrying me.
I like to imagine there was always some part of my soul that belonged to Ben. Something undeniable tethering us together. An imperceptible energy, like the force behind a gust of wind.
It’s always been there.
It’s what brought me back to Ruxton, Alabama three years ago. It’s what put Ben in the bar that night. And it’s what made falling in love with him so incredibly simple.
All those years I hated him seem like a lifetime ago. One which never even belonged to me. I don’t remember those emotions. I don’t remember the pain and hurt he caused me. The detestation I felt.
I look at my husband and the only thing I see is love. The only thing I feel is love . . .
Love.
Love.
Love.
My mind loves Ben. My heart loves Ben. My body loves Ben. He’s the warmth in my blood. The roar of my pulse.
Give me a hundred years with Benjamin Kelly, and I’d still beg for more.
Lately though? With two boys who have mastered the skill of interrupting Mommy and Daddy the second we put our hands on each other, I’m not making unrealistic demands. I’m asking for one hour.
Give me one hour alone with Benjamin Kelly.
I’ll beg for that.
At this point, I’ll beg for five minutes.
Mia
I TURN THE BABY MONITOR on and set it on the nightstand by the bed.
The blue light flickers, picking up every restless noise Chase makes as he tosses around in his crib. I can picture him rubbing his sweet, dimpled little face into his blanket. His purple octopus tucked under his arm. He always sleeps with that. It’s his dragon.
My two boys, land and sea.
I gaze at Ben’s side of the bed as I strip off my shorts and sleeveless blouse, slipping one of his Ruxton Police Academy T-shirts over my head. The comforter is creaseless. Undisturbed. I plop down on the bed with a heavy sigh and hug his pillow to my chest.
One more night.
I miss him, and not just when I’m alone like this after I put the boys to bed. I miss Ben getting home when I’m making dinner. I miss him being up with us for a few hours, spending time with the boys and helping with them. I miss the way we’d come together after getting them off to sleep, two pounding hearts colliding in a tangle of limbs and hurried breaths in the hallway, dragging each other to the bedroom, tearing at clothes, sometimes making it to the bed, sometimes not. The floor. Up against the wall. Me, bent over and holding onto anything I could grab. We’d stay quiet, the soft slapping of our bodies barely audible above our heavy breathing and desperate moans. He’d tell me to come, fucking come, Mia, and I would, writhing against him while he gave me his release and every ounce of love he could pour out of himself. We’d tumble onto the bed, still clutching at each other, his mouth pressed to my skin and his fingers between my legs, pushing back inside of me.
I’d fall asleep wrapped in his arms, feeling so small and so safe, my heart so full of him.
I love nights with Ben, but right now, and for the past two months, my nights have been his mornings.
While I’m giving baths and going through bedtime rituals, he’s leaving for work. And because I’m giving baths and going through bedtime rituals, he’s not pressing me up against any walls or tearing off my clothes. He’s not biting or tasting my skin. He’s not getting off. I’m not getting off.
In fact, that hasn’t been happening much at all lately.
Two boys tearing through this house, exploring and getting into anything and everything, with one now unfortunately out of the nap stage has made it nearly impossible to get any alone time with Ben. Throw in two months of night shift and I can’t remember the last time we were both awake and grasping at each other without immediately getting interrupted.
It’s like kids have this built-in radar. This sixth sense that goes off whenever Daddy grabs Mommy’s boob. Their timing is honestly quite impressive. They never miss a beat.
It wasn’t so bad before. I would laugh it off and grab Ben’s face, kissing his scowl and promising to work him later. We’d get the kids to sleep and then he’d grab me, or I’d grab him, or we’d both just be grabbing and tasting and not caring who was doing what as long as it was happening. And it was always happening.
Now? Nobody’s grabbing or tasting anything. We don’t have our nights. When Ben’s home, I’m with the boys and he’s getting his much needed sleep. Everything is ass backwards.
But, there is a light at the end of this miserable tunnel. After this last shift, we can go back to our routine of stolen kisses and heated seconds before one or two little faces catch us. And when they do, not if, it won’t be detrimental. I’m sure I’ll still be kissing a scowl and muffling words I don’t want repeated, but we’ll have those sweet hours between evening and dawn where there’s nothing and no one between us.
No interruptions. Just two pounding hearts, feverish touches, and that quiet climb toward rapture, followed by the sweet, blissful fall.
Sliding beneath the cool sheets, I exchange Ben’s pillow for my own and nuzzle my nose against it, inhaling him, letting his scent soak into my lungs. That distinct Ben smell that carries so many memories with it.
Ones of us together, that night after the bar. My first hit.
God, I’ve been addicted to him ever since.
I flip onto my back and grab my phone off the night stand. I brush my hair out of my face and type a quick text.
Me: Missing you. XO
Holding the phone above me, I snap a selfie, blowing him a kiss, and attach it to the message, sending it. I scroll to Tessa’s number and hit dial.
She answers after two rings.
“I don’t kno
w about you, but I am so ready to hop off the ‘nobody’s getting laid’ train.”
“What?” I chuckle, shaking my head at my best friend and stretching out my limbs. “You’re getting laid. What are you talking about?”
“Not the way I want to be!” She sighs. “I mean, okay, don’t get me wrong. I don’t mind waking Luke up for a nooner, but I miss when we would just fuck all night like we were trying to repopulate the earth after an apocalypse.”
“Well, be grateful you’re at least able to sneak it in during the day. Even with Chase taking a nap I can’t catch a break. Nolan can’t be unsupervised.”
It’s bad timing all around. Both of my boys have been in on this together from the beginning.
When this dreaded night shift started, Nolan was in school for half of the day. As long as Chase went down for his nap, I could have some alone time with Ben.
Seems like a flawless plan, right?
Wrong.
Chase wouldn’t nap until Nolan came home from school. I should’ve known, my sweet boy needs constant noise to pass out. The non-stop chatter of his big brother seems to do the trick. This was also around the same time Chase became extra clingy, refusing to allow me even a moment of privacy to use the bathroom. So, when I thought I could sit him in his high-chair with a few toys and sneak into my bedroom for a quickie, he would scream, and scream, and scream, like someone was actually hurting him.
I felt terrible. I scolded myself for being the worst mother on earth. How could I put my own needs before his?
Now that Nolan’s off for the summer and home twenty-four hours a day? Chase naps anytime I want him to and doesn’t even flinch if I need to use the bathroom.
Their plan has been flawless from day one.
Tessa yawns, breaking up the soft noise of the T.V. in the background. “Just put on a movie for him or something. Or tell him to go play in his room. This is what iPads are for.”
“Tessa, you know how curious Nolan is. He hears a door shutting anywhere in this house and he comes investigating. And I swear to God, he knows when I’m naked and barges in at that exact moment. He’s just like Ben.”
“Those Kelly boys,” she laughs. “Tits men for life.”
I roll my eyes. “It’s in their blood.”
“Speaking of tits, I wanna go out and get a new bikini for the wedding. Mine are all faded from my parent’s pool.”
The wedding, Reed and Beth’s. We’re all heading down to Sparrow’s Island next week for the ceremony. Beth really wanted to get married on the beach, and her sweet aunt and uncle are sparing no expense. From the pictures I’ve seen online, the beach itself is beautiful. White sands and crystal blue water. Tessa and I are in the wedding, along with Riley, Reed’s sister, Ben, Luke, CJ, and the boys. We’re all staying in villas right on the beach with spectacular views of the ocean.
I can’t wait to get away for a few days. After the past two months, I feel like we all need it.
“You know, when you say you want to get a new bikini for the wedding, it sounds like you’re actually going to wear it during the ceremony,” I tell her, smiling. “You are planning on wearing the dress Beth picked out for us, right? They’ve already been paid for.”
Tessa gasps. “Oh, my God. Can you imagine Ben if you wore a bikini during the ceremony? He would gouge out every pair of eyes belonging to men within a fifty mile radius. You should absolutely do it.”
“What?” I giggle, shifting on the mattress a bit.
Is she crazy? He would do more than gouge out their eyes.
“What about Luke? What would he do if you wore one and he saw you walking down the aisle half naked?”
“Luke?” Tessa pauses, thinking silently for a minute. “Mm. He’d probably drag me down to the sand and fuck me in front of my parents. Like a savage.”
“Oh, that’s nice. I’m sure Ben wouldn’t mind watching his sister being taken.”
My phone beeps with an incoming text. I hold it above me.
Ben: Goddamn, Angel. This is the worst possible time for my dick to be hard.
My cheeks burn. Oh, is it?
I place the phone back to my ear, catching the tail-end of Tessa’s amusing reaction. “Hey, I gotta go. Let me know when you want to run out and I’ll go with you.”
“Cool. I’ll ask Beth too. One more night of this sexless hell.”
I laugh. “Yeah. See ya.”
I end the call and run my tongue along my bottom lip as I type out my response.
Me: So telling you how wet my fingers are isn’t something you should know right now?
Me: Oops . . .
My phone starts to ring, startling me and wiping the smirk off my face. Running my free hand over my racing heart, I answer the call in my most nonchalant voice.
“Hello?”
“Mia,” Ben growls.
The hairs on my neck stand up.
Shit. Is he pissed?
“H-Hi, babe. I wasn’t really . . .”
“How many fingers are you using?”
His question squeezes the air from my lungs, or his demand, rather, because that’s what it sounds like. An order, spoken by the only man I’ve ever gotten off with, for, from. You name it. Ben is and always will be the only man, and right now, he isn’t asking how I’m touching myself. He’s making sure I’m doing it.
While he’s at work.
Hot holy fuck.
I wet my lips again as I slide my hand down my body and into my panties, over my sensitive flesh and through my slick heat. “One,” I softly reply, my voice shaking, my fingers soaked and trembling.
His heavy breathing fills my ear. “You pretending it’s me, Angel?”
“Yes.”
“You forget how thick I am?”
I close my eyes, moaning. “Jesus, Ben. Are you by yourself?”
“Do you really think I’d be getting my wife off over the phone with Luke’s nosey ass sitting next to me? I told him to take a walk.”
A smile pulls at my mouth.
Seriously stupid question on my part. Of course Ben wouldn’t be speaking to me like this if anyone was in hearing distance. He doesn’t share my pleasure. The times that he has taken me while we’ve been out in public have been rare occurrences, and ones I usually beg for.
“You can be quick,” I’ll tell him. “And I can be quiet.”
He’ll debate both of my suggestions with believable resistance, but once my top comes off he forgets how to argue.
“Baby.” Ben’s voice sends a shiver up my spine. “How many fingers?”
“Three.” My breath hitches as I stretch myself. Wetness trickles onto my palm. “So wet,” I whisper.
“Fuck, I wish I was there. Touching you. Sliding inside of you. Is that what you want? You want me to fuck you, Mia?”
“Yes,” I gasp.
“I wouldn’t be slow, baby. God, I couldn’t. Not tonight. I need you . . . on my cock. That sweet, wet pussy gripping me.” His breath starts coming out in sharp pants. “Spread your legs. I want them wide, Angel. Come on.”
My hips burn as I bend my knees and pull my legs up. “They are. They’re so wide it hurts.”
“Good. Now fuck yourself like I would. Fast, baby. I want to hear it. Wanna hear how wet you are.”
Moaning, I think about Ben next to me, hovering over me, his wild gray eyes locked between my legs while I pump my fingers in and out. In and out. Faster. My thumb brushing over my clit, rubbing it like he does.
I twist my wrist. A soft squelching noise tickles the air.
“Do you hear me?” I ask, my heart racing and my breathing sharp. “Ben . . .”
“Angel,” he growls, his voice vibrating through my body.
I swear, it gets me wetter.
“Keep going. You’re making such a mess for me, aren’t you?”
“Yes, it’s . . . I’m dripping. On my hand. Oh, God, Ben.”
“Fuck.”
He sounds desperate. Just as turned on as I am.
I pict
ure him stroking his cock while he watches me. He’s throbbing, the head red and swollen. Dripping. Oh, God, he’s dripping too. He uses two hands, gripping his balls while rubbing his shaft against my thigh.
“Wanna feel you squeezing my cock, baby. Milking me. Come on. Take those fingers like you take my dick. Come all over them.”
OhGodOhGodOhGod.
“Ben,” I whisper, arching my back. My legs shaking as that delicious heat spreads up my spine. “C-Coming. I’m coming.”
I drop the phone, squeezing my breast through my shirt, moaning into the silence of my bedroom and then falling weightless against the sheets, my body limp and warm. Sated.
Satisfied, but only as satisfied as I can be when he’s not here losing control with me.
“Hey.” I press the phone to my ear and squeeze my legs together. My face feels hot. “I miss you.”
I listen to his slow, heavy breathing.
“Me too, Mia. This kills me. You know that, right? This separation I feel. Not being with you the way I fucking need to be. I feel like I’m going crazy.”
A tinge of guilt grips at my chest. “Me too.”
“And here you are, taking care of our boys, sending me sweet pictures and getting off thinking about my cock.”
I smile, rolling over and facing his side of the bed. “Your perfect cock. Nine inches of perfection.”
He laughs, a deep rumbling sound. “I love you.”
“I love you. One more night.”
“Yeah.” He sighs.
I can picture him relaxing, his thick shoulders dropping down and his head falling back. The tension leaving his body.
“One more night,” he echoes. “I’m warning you, Mia. Once I get you alone again, I’m fucking you all over that house. All night. I don’t want to sleep.”
“Okay,” I giggle. “But we’ll have to sleep some. Just a couple hours.”
“You can sleep. I’ll just keep fucking you.”
“Ben,” I laugh harder, covering my mouth.
“Christ, I love that sound. Close your eyes and pretend I’m with you.”
“Okay.” I close my eyes, listening to his breath in my ear, hearing it grow tenser and tenser with each passing second. “Luke is coming back, isn’t he?”
