Burn Out

by Ruthi Kight

  ***

  As I waded out into the warm water, my mind was already beginning to clear. The salt was rushing through my open pores, cleansing me of the stress that had been building up. Seeing Liam again was more than I could handle. He was so carefree, standing there talking to a customer. His charms would be good for Mike’s business, but I couldn’t help but feel betrayed by his presence.

  But instead of having a breakdown right there in the middle of the shop, I ignored the pain and walked away. Dr. Jenkins would be proud of me for being able to walk away so easily. Of course, I wasn’t going to tell her about anything that had been happening, but it was still a point of pride for me.

  At the end of the day, when I could no longer handle the sun’s heat or the waves’ punishment, I called it quits. I grabbed my towel and wrapped it around my body, making sure to hide as much skin as possible, before my trek back across the street. Any other day and I would have stopped in to see Mike, but if there was any possibility that Liam was still there, I would be avoiding the place like the plague.

  The sand was hot on my bare feet, causing me to hop around like an idiot. I slipped my flip flops on and kept going, my eyes flitting between the families that were all making a mass exodus from the beach. It seemed that it was the end of the day for them as well. The difference was, they would all head back to their homes, have dinner together, reminisce about the day’s fun, and then head to bed.

  I wouldn’t have that. There was no one waiting at the house for me. Mike would probably still be at the shop, finishing up the business day. His normal business hours kept him at the shop all day, only sending him home once he was too exhausted to keep his eyes open. No, I wouldn’t have anyone there to tell how amazing the waves were, or to complain about how red my skin was.

  I was all alone, yet I was surrounded by familiar faces at every turn.

  When I got to the house, there were no lights on. As I walked through, I flipped them on as I walked. When I made it to the guest room, where I was staying, I nearly had a heart attack. An ear piercing scream ripped from my mouth, causing the intruder to let loose one of his own.

  “What the hell are you doing here? How did you get in?” I yelled, backing away as quickly as possible.

  “You’ve been avoiding me. I thought this was the only way to get you to talk to me again,” said Liam, his hands held up in front of him. He didn’t try to come near me, sure that I would harm him, and he was right. He was lucky I hadn’t kicked him square in his fucking nuts!

  “Are you that dense? You couldn’t understand that you weren’t wanted? Fuck Liam! Take a hint!” I turned and fled the room. He was following, just like I knew he would. My goal was to get him out of my room and out of the house.

  When I made it to the kitchen, I backed up against the far counter and crossed my arms across my chest. When he walked in, his head was lowered and a look of pain was on his face. “I just want to know what happened. Don’t I deserve to know?”

  “Nope, you sure don’t.”

  “Stop being a bitch and just talk to me.”

  “If that’s your way of sweet talking me, you’re way off your game.”

  He let loose a growl and stalked towards me. This time I wasn’t backing down. Screw running away. “I can’t get you out of my head. You’re all I think about, every waking moment of the fucking day.”

  I laughed, cutting off his spiel. “Wow, you’ve finally convinced yourself of your own bullshit.” I paused, watching him before moving in for the kill. “Sorry, but falling for me wasn’t part of the job. Right?”

  His face paled, his skin taking on a chalky white pallor that should have scared me. But no. Instead, it made me even giddier. I had finally put the nail in his coffin, letting him know that I knew exactly what had been going on.

  “Who told you?” he asked, his face crumpled in defeat.

  “That day I left?” He nodded, spurning me forward. “I went by the library to see you. To apologize for how I had acted the night before. When I got downstairs, I overheard you and some guy talking about it.”

  “So…instead of asking me about it, you decided to just believe everything you heard and run away? Without as much as a chance to explain?”

  “What was there to explain? I was a fucking job to you! Nothing more.” He shook his head, ready to argue with me, but I stopped him. “It doesn’t matter now. I’ve moved on and you should too.”

  He closed the distance between us, trapping me against the counter, his arms on either side of my body. His face was mere inches from mine and moving closer with each passing second. “You were never just a job to me. From the first moment that I met you, I couldn’t get you out of my head. You were like a virus, spreading, infecting me.”

  “Ewww…what kind-” I began.

  “For once, just shut up and listen,” he said, dipping his head down to my neck. He drew in a deep breath, almost as if he wanted to inhale my very essence. “I took that job before I knew you. Before I knew what kind of person you are. That shit’s over, just so you know.”

  I closed my eyes, soaking in his words, letting them register as I tried to maintain my “No Liam” stance on life. “You never did say what kind of job it was,” I whispered, my voice low and throaty.

  “You’re not going to let it go, are you?” he asked. I shook my head and met his eyes. “Governor Willis hired me to follow you, to research you. To get close to you, if I had to. He was friends with your parents when you were younger and didn’t believe that their murder was an accident. He wanted to know exactly what had occurred.”

  “What did he plan to do with that information?”

  “He never told me. But I swear, I never told him anything. There was never anything to report. That’s why he was so upset that day. I had gone outside of the job and gotten too close to you, in his opinion. He thought my vision was clouded, or some shit.”

  Why would the governor have me observed like that? The accident had occurred a very long time ago, even if the town still hadn’t let go of it. There had to be something else going on. Something that he hadn’t told Liam when he had offered him the job.

  “For now, I’ll believe you. But that doesn’t mean-“

  He didn’t let me finish my sentence, his lips crushing against mine in a heated assault. They were urgent, hard, and demanding. It should have scared the shit out of me, but instead it had my body burning up. No longer fighting the feeling, I grabbed hold of his face and kissed him back, my tongue teasing the seam of his lips, begging for entrance.

  As our tongues collided, my hands began to roam. His neck, so strong and thick, was like a magnet to me. My fingers danced along his skin, skimming down to his collarbone. They begged to go further down, to explore the hard lines of his chest, but I held back. Instead, I savored the taste of his mouth, the feel of body pressed against mine.

  Oh, how I had missed all of those things.

  After what felt like an eternity, we separated, both of us panting from the intensity of the kiss. His eyes were blazing, his breath was coming in spurts. It was so hot watching how he reacted to me, to the kiss.

  “Let me guess, this is where you tell me that we have to stop?” he asked with a smirk.

  I shook my head quickly, then said “Not this time.”

  There was no hesitation as I threw myself into his arms. My lips weren’t interested in tasting his this time. Instead, they latched onto his neck, teasing and tasting his salty skin. I searched every inch that I could reach, pulling his body so close to mine that we could have melded together.

  My hands were everywhere, scorching a path of fire all over his body. I wanted to touch his sun kissed skin, feel the muscles underneath contract with my touch. It was empowering to watch his body quiver under my attention.

  But I had barely gotten a chance to truly enjoy his chest when he pulled my hands up, pinning them above my head with only one of his hands. His other hand began to explore my body, his fingers dipping into the low cut neck
line of my bathing suit. The slight touch had my nipples going on high alert, needing to be touched fully.

  My body was shaking with anticipation. Lower! I needed his hands lower on my body, touching me where no other man had ever touched me before. The mere thought was sending waves of heat and pleasure to my core. He grasped my ass, crushing me against his body, and I felt his erection pressing against my belly.

  When I tried to reach between us to touch him, he shook his head, tightening his grip on my hands, and whispered in my ear, “Not yet. Soon, but I want to taste you first.”

  He lifted me into his arms, raining kisses along my neck as he carried me back to my bedroom. With barely a missed beat, the door was locked behind us and he was on top of me on the bed. Slowly, he pulled the straps of my bathing suit down, leaving my shoulders bare. When he lowered his lips to my skin, I nearly exploded right there.

  The feel of his tongue along my tender skin was more than I could handle. It was so erotic, watching as he explored and tasted. But I was in need of his tongue, his lips; all his attention on other parts of my body. My breasts were aching, my sex was ready to explode. High alert gained an entirely new meaning as he kissed his way across my body.

  I sat up and slowly, achingly, pulled my bathing suit down, exposing my breasts to him. His eyes latched on and he licked his lips. He was just as affected by me as I was by him. I grabbed his hand and brought it to my chest, watching as his eyes became hooded and took on an animalistic look.

  “Are you sure? Please, if you’re not, tell me now. ‘Cause once I start…I don’t know if I can stop.” He was pleading with me, begging me to be sure. Fuck yes, I was sure. I wanted him. No, it had gone past wanting. I was now in full blown desperation of his body inside of mine.

  “If you fucking stop, I’ll personally cut your shit off. Just saying…” I grinned at him as I pulled him to me for a quick kiss.

  His hands were on my breasts before I knew what was happening, the slick little fucker. His roughened fingers were like heaven on my body. After years of only being touched by my own hands, I was nearly coming undone, just from the first guy who touched my tits! Talk about a virginal experience!

  When he pulled my bathing suit the rest of the way down, my confidence faltered. I had never been completely naked in front of anyone…ever. Would he like what he saw? It was irrational to be worrying about it at that point, especially since his arousal was so obvious. My body was shaking beneath his fingers, causing him to pause.

  “Are you okay? You’re shaking out of your own clothes right now,” he said with a laugh.

  I nodded and tried to smile. “Just nervous,” I replied. He kissed me, gently this time, as his fingers inched lower on my body. They were now hovering just above my belly button, where the bathing suit was pulled down to.

  “Are you…a, uh, virgin?” he asked, his fingers stopping their exploring instantly.

  With a nod, I watched his face take on a nervous look. His lips were tight, his eyes no longer sure of what was about to happen. “It’s okay. I want this,” I said, attempting to pull him back to me, to continue what we had started.

  “This is…weird,” he said, sitting back on the bed. I sat there, my breasts hanging loose, as he ran his hands through his hair. I pulled the sheet up, covering my chest. Had I done something wrong?

  “Look, it’s not a big deal, I-“

  “It is! That’s…that’s not something you should do with just anyone. You know? It should be with someone special…someone you…l-love.” He looked up at me, finally meeting my eyes. He was bailing out on me, it was clear when he looked at me.

  There was no disappointment, only anger, surging through my body. I angrily pulled the bathing suit back up, covering up everything that I had put on display for him. Once I was fully covered I stood up and pushed him off the bed. He hit the floor with a loud thunk, but I didn’t give a shit if I had hurt him.

  “Get the fuck up,” I said. “Just fucking leave!” I walked to my bedroom door and opened it, waiting for him to leave.

  He stood up, his hands adjusting his dick as his arousal pressed against the zipper of his jeans. “Whoa, what just happened here? Are you mad?”

  “What gave you the first hint?”

  “Delia, I’m just trying to look out for you. You may not think so, but that is a moment that you’ll never forget. One that you can never do again.”

  “I’m not stupid, Liam. I knew what I was doing. Just like I know what I’m doing right now. I want you to leave. Now,” I growled.

  With a shake of his head, he walked out, leaving me standing there with my hands on the door, my body so worked up that I thought I was going to explode. I slammed the door behind him, so close to screaming, to releasing my rage somehow. My body slammed onto the disheveled bed and I pulled the pillow underneath my face as the tears began to pour out.

  I hadn’t cried in a very long time, especially over something so stupid, but that night I let it all out. The pain of losing my parents, of being alone. The anger I felt towards everyone who had condemned me all those years. And finally Liam. He had made me feel like a fucking kid, telling me that I wasn’t ready for sex. But it was more than that. He just didn’t want the stigma that came with being someone’s first.

  I had heard the stories from other girls. Guys all thought that when they took a girl’s virginity that they would be permanently attached from that day forward. That wasn’t my style. Sure, I liked Liam and wanted to see where we would have gone, but I was no psychotic chick with a habit of being clingy.

  If anything, I was the exact opposite. Pushing people away was more my way of dealing with shit. But he didn’t trust me, or my judgment, enough to know that it was nothing more than sex. A release that I thought we both needed. The tension had been building between us for so long now, but we would both just have to push it away. That shit was never happening, if I had anything to say about it.

  ***

  A knock at the door woke me from a deep sleep, one that had been hard as hell to accomplish only a few hours before. Whoever was pounding on my door was going to get their ass handed to them, plain and simple.

  With a groan, I sat up in bed and wiped the sleep from my eyes. The pounding continued, pissing me off in the process. Can’t a bitch have a few minutes to wake the fuck up? Shit! As I stumbled to the door to unlock it, I stubbed my toe on the dresser on the way. Just great. This day was getting off to a fan-fucking-tastic start already.

  I yanked the door open, ready to attack, but I was silenced when I found a stranger standing there. I was dressed only in a t-shirt and panties, so I hid as much of my body behind the door as I could.

  “Who the hell are you?” I grumbled.

  “My name is Carson Willis, I was a friend of your parents. I was hoping that I could have a moment of your time,” he said, smiling down on me.

  “Who let you in the house?” I asked, concerned on how we had come to this point.

  “Your roommate, Mike, let me in. I’ll, um, wait out here in the living room while you get dressed.” He walked away quickly. I didn’t bother to watch, instead slamming the door, wishing that his face had been in that exact spot when I did it.

  That was the asshole who had hired Liam to watch me. Him being here was not a good omen. There was no telling what he wanted to talk to me about. Was he still digging into what happened that night, trying to prove that I purposefully killed my parents? Why the fuck couldn’t people just let that shit go?

  I threw on some clothes quickly, trying to calm my racing thoughts. When I stepped into the living room, he was sitting on the couch, his hands resting in his lap. He looked comfortable, like he had been there before and had no qualms with making himself at home. I walked over to the chairs that sat opposite the couch and flopped down, kicking my feet out in front of me.

  “What do you want? And before you say a thing, I already know that you hired Liam to spy on me. What I don’t know is why. So, if that’s not what you came here
to tell me, then you can go ahead and fucking leave.”

  He adjusted his tie and let out a shaky breath. “You get straight to the point, don’t you?” I shrugged, not bothering to answer what I thought was a ridiculous question. “That’s only part of why I’m here. I really should have got in contact with you when you first left the center, but I’ve been very busy. That’s no excuse, but I’m here now. I wanted to tell you how good it is that you have rejoined our community. The warm welcome that I was hoping the people of our town would give you has been nonexistent, at least that’s what Liam tells me, and I wanted to extend my deepest apologies.”

  This man was so full of shit that I had to cover my mouth to keep myself from busting a gut laughing. He must have seriously thought that I was a complete idiot. “Thanks. But, you still didn’t tell me why you had me followed.” I crossed my arms, trying to appear as unconcerned as possible.

  “My dear, that night was very tragic, for everyone here in town. Your parents were wonderful people. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think of them. My only reason for having you followed was because there were some…discrepancies about that night that I wanted to dig deeper into.”

  “What kinds of discrepancies?”

  “Oh, nothing to worry your pretty little-“

  “Stop right the fuck there. Don’t patronize me, sir. Those are my parents that you’re talking about, so if there are things that you have found out about their deaths, then I deserve to know.”

  He cleared his throat and sat forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “It’s nothing concrete right now. That’s why Liam was doing some digging. But, he said that he didn’t learn anything useful, so I let him go. If there was something I could tell you, something solid, I would.”

  Things weren’t adding up. This man, who claimed to have loved my parents, respected them, was keeping something from me. Whatever it was, whatever he was hiding, I was going to find out. In the back of my mind, there had always been some aspect of that night that hadn’t added up. Something that had felt…wrong.