Burn Out

by Ruthi Kight

  He laughed and I wanted to punch him in the throat. “You want to know? Do you really?” When I didn’t take his bait, he continued. “Your whore of a mother-“

  “Hey!”

  “I thought you wanted to know?” he asked, deadly serious. With a shrug, he continued, “She was easier to ride than a three wheel bike. Everyone in town got a ride. Your father was oblivious to her deceit. Every day, when he left for work, a different man would show up at your house to fuck your dear, sweet mother.

  “But the one day that I decide to give her a whirl, he comes home. You see, he and I had been best friends since we were still in diapers. We were inseparable, even through college.” His face was clouded as the memories poured over him. “When your father found us in bed together, he lost it.”

  I shook my head, disgusted by his story. “I don’t believe you.” He couldn’t soil the memory of their lives with his petty words. I knew better. Didn’t I?

  “Makes no difference, sweetheart. I was there. I know what happened. By that time, I was married and had a family of my own. My political future was secure. Until he threatened to tell the entire world about what he saw.”

  He was lying. There was no way that my mother would cheat on my father. She loved him! More than life itself! But if I wanted any hope of getting out of there, I had to keep him talking. “Why not just buy him off? Why kill them?”

  The smile he gave me was demented, the evil mask of a deranged man. “Do you think I’m so stupid that I didn’t think of that? He refused!” Spittle flew from his mouth, a few drops landing on my face. “Your mother…she begged him to take it. But he was too fucking noble to do it. He thought the world deserved to know the truth about me.”

  You go Daddy!

  “But that wasn’t going to work for me. I couldn’t let him ruin me. There was no other choice. I had to protect what was mine, especially my secrets.”

  The lives of an entire community had been shredded by this man, not just my family’s. There were casualties everywhere, all of them scarred for years afterward. This wasn’t something small. No…this was the desperate act of a man who had run out of options.

  And now he was repeating history.

  “You think you can just get rid of us and no one will know?” I asked.

  “Of course I do. No one will miss you two. Your boyfriend over there?” He hitched his thumb at Liam. “His parents disowned him years ago. He disgraced his entire family. They won’t even notice that he’s gone. And let’s be honest here. There isn’t a single person in this town who will miss you.”

  His words hurt, but I knew he was right. He had made sure of that ten years ago. But what he said about Liam…that couldn’t have been true. His family had to know where he was, at least, even if they had disowned him. Parents don’t just stop loving their children, regardless of what they may do.

  When my eyes fell on his prone body, I knew that we were running out of time. His breathing was shallow, his chest barely rising and falling. If he didn’t get help soon, there would be no chance of him making it to tomorrow. And that wasn’t a possibility.

  “So, now what? Huh? You kill us and go about your day? The police will come looking for you. If we disappear, they will know who to look at.” The words felt hollow on my tongue. Detective Newman hadn’t looked all that convinced during our meeting, but if we disappeared, it might just give him the kick in the ass to start digging into Willis.

  “I have nothing to worry about. Those incompetent fools at the station couldn’t find their own assholes without GPS,” he laughed.

  The sound of wood exploding caused me to duck down, my hands shielding my face. There were shots fired and I let loose a scream that could be heard on the other side of the planet. I couldn’t bring myself to open my eyes, scared to find out what kind of hell was happening all around us.

  “Delia!” My head snapped up when I heard my name, but the smoke and dust surrounding us was too thick. Each breath I took became shorter, shallower, and I watched the dots dance in front of my eyes. “Delia! Answer me!” I wanted to, I really did. But there was no way that my lungs could push out the air necessary to yell.

  Liam hadn’t moved, not even when the walls around us began to crumble. Was he dead? Or just unconscious? There was no way for me to know, so I laid down beside him. With my arm draped over his torso, I closed my eyes and drifted off.

  There were still voices swimming in my ears, some calling my name, but I was in a happy place. A safe zone. Nothing could bring me back. With that final thought, I succumbed to the quiet, my body completely letting go for the first time in ten years.

  ***

  Freedom. Something that I hadn’t felt in over a decade. I finally understood why everyone craved it. There were no other feelings like it in the world.

  My body was weightless, floating along as the world passed by in a blur. The scene was familiar. Something about it nagged at the back of my mind. I could smell the dirt as it swirled around me, suffocating me.

  “It’s over,” I whispered to myself.

  The slightest touch, feather light, landed on my shoulder. When I turned to see what had touched me, I found my father’s face smiling back at me.

  “Daddy,” I said, turning to face him. “Oh Daddy. I am so sorry.” He shook his head, his hair bouncing up and down with his movements.

  “You have nothing to be sorry for. You survived. That’s all we could ever want.” His translucent arms surrounded me, pulling me further and further away from the carnage below.

  The tears were falling, leaving a clean path among the filth that caked my face. “I miss you. So, so much.”

  He leaned back and wiped the tears away. “We have never been far. Always watching.”

  “What happens now?” I asked, scared to let go of him. Afraid of losing him, yet again.

  “Now, you must wake up. Your new life awaits you. As much as I’d love to keep you here, you don’t belong.”

  “I don’t belong there either!”

  “But you do. You have so much more to do in your life, starting with that young man I saw you protecting.” He smiled at me, the dimples in his cheeks more prominent than ever.

  I shook my head and laughed. “He’s just a friend.”

  “You do remember I’ve been watching, right?”

  The thought alone made my stomach queasy. Had he seen….everything? I buried my face in my hands and let out a shaky laugh. “That’s not disturbing, or anything.”

  “There will be plenty of time for embarrassment later. Right now, our time is up.” He gave me a strong hug and then pulled away, out of my arms. “Remember, you are loved. Never, in all of what has happened, did your mother and I stop loving you. Never. You were the light of our lives and the only person who can make this right.”

  “I love you Daddy.”

  “And I, you.”

  I watched as his form faded away and I felt my heart break into a million tiny shards all over again. With my eyes closed, I let the tears seep out from under my lashes. There was nothing left for me there. My place was back in Sunny Shores…back with Liam.

  ***

  When I awoke, I was completely and utterly alone. Bet you thought that there would be people surrounding my bed, apologizing for how they had treated me, and offering flowers and chocolates. Right?

  Not going to happen.

  The hospital room was cold and sterile, as it always was. No get well soon cards, no balloons with funny sayings on them. Just a guard outside the door with his hand poised on the butt of his gun. Fun times for me.

  I’d love to tell you that Liam was there when I woke up, but he wasn’t. Evidently he had enough internal bleeding and lacerations that he required three different surgeries. And I wasn’t allowed anywhere near him, per his parent’s orders.

  While I was glad that they hadn’t completely disowned him, it still pissed me off that once again, I was being blamed. I couldn’t catch a break.

  No one would tell me wh
at had happened. Either they didn’t know, or they did and just didn’t feel the need to clue me in. I knew that an explosion had occurred, but the only thing I could remember after that was the visit from my father.

  There was no way that I could forget that moment.

  But what I wanted the most, no…needed the most, was to get out of there. Did I want to run away from every last person in that honky-tonk loving town? Hell yes, I did. Could I? Probably not. At least, not without a lot of explaining and someone fronting me the cash.

  So I waited. And waited. After two days of silenced nurses and disgruntled orderlies, I finally got a visit from someone in uniform.

  “Detective Newman. What brings you by?” I asked, a twinkle in my eye.

  “Doctor says you get to leave today. How are you feeling?” He sat down in the chair at the foot of my bed.

  “To be honest? I’ve had better days. I mean, not lately or anything…”

  He laughed, both of us savoring the sound as the tension reduced in the room. “I wanted to tell you…to say that…you were right. And we should have listened to you. If we had, none of this would have happened.”

  I waved him off with a flick of my hand and a shake of my head. “I’ve seen what you guys are capable of. It probably still would have happened.”

  “Nice to know you have faith in us,” he said with a laugh. “I guess it’s better late than never, huh?”

  “Depends. Whoever decided to come in like a storm trooper really did a number on the evidence that was piling up.” I smiled at him, hoping to ease some of the guilt he was feeling.

  He looked to the wall, his eyes glazing over. “We could have been more…subtle.” He looked back at me, a small smile forming on his lips. “But at least you’ve got a wild story to tell your kids one day. Just make sure you tell them how I blew that wall to dust, okay?”

  With a laugh, we settled into a comfortable moment. And I got regaled with a blow by blow, literally, of how Sunny Shore’s finest finally got off their asses and followed my lead. Figures. Always tardy to the party.

  But I had to admit, it was nice to talk to someone who didn’t automatically pull out the handcuffs when I was around. While I still considered Detective Newman to be a complete dickhead, I no longer wanted to cause him bodily harm. For me, that was saying something.

  We talked for the next hour, both of us avoiding the elephant in the room. I was sure that he had been briefed as to the circumstances leading up to all of this drama, but I wasn’t ready to talk about it just yet. My parents, and their memory, were going to be drug through the mud once the details hit the papers.

  My mother would no longer be seen as the generous, funny, all-around kind woman that people knew. No. She would be the town whore, the woman whose very existence had ended dozens of marriages. That wasn’t fair. She wasn’t there to defend herself, but no one would see it that way. Just as no one had questioned it when I was labeled a murderer.

  Once a stigma was attached to your name, shaking it off was next to impossible. You could go door-to-door for years, pleading your case, and still people would believe what they wanted to. They would follow the majority, like the sheep they really were.

  I wasn’t disillusioned, just real.

  After all that had happened, there was no way that I could just up and leave now. There would be a trial, surrounded by the media, and most likely details would be altered to fit their desires. More lives would be ruined. All for the sake of entertainment.

  When the doctor finally showed up to discharge me, I knew it was the only chance that would have to ask him about my medications. He gave me a strange look and shook his head.

  “Do you think you need them?” he asked. Why the hell was he asking me? Wasn’t he the damn doctor?

  “I haven’t been taking them since I left rehab. At all. While sometimes I feel like I need them, most of the time I don’t. But when I start to feel like things are getting out of control…” I shrugged my shoulders, unwilling to go on.

  He nodded and smiled. “Sounds more like you’re suffering from anxiety. I’d like to see you again, for an evaluation, in a few days. Would you be willing to do that?”

  Anxiety? That was a far cry from Pyromania. “Sure. I can do that.” If I was still in town by that point.

  I signed my discharge papers and listened as the doctor went on and on about taking it easy, that I should try to keep my stress levels down…blah, blah, blah. Most of what he said went in one ear and out the other.

  There was a world out there waiting for me. One that had no walls, no restrictions, just the open road and endless possibilities. I fully intended to make the most out of all of it.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Six Weeks Later

  I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t leave without seeing everything through. Willis’ trial had been moved out of city limits because of some bullshit about not being able to get a fair trial here. Well, duh! What could have possibly given those idiots that thought? Was it the fact that he not only murdered two innocent people, but he then blamed their child, turned her into a social pariah, and eventually tried to kill her and her lover?

  Nope, couldn’t be any of those things.

  Somehow they were able to get his court date pushed through, rushing the entire process. When they asked if I would testify, I agreed. On one condition: the information that sent Willis off the deep end had to be kept quiet. The media was not allowed to have a field day with my parents’ reputations.

  Once the terms were agreed upon, I ponied up the goods. My testimony was dictated, video recorded, and probably stitched into a giant fucking pillow somewhere. At least they got it on the record. The prosecutor told me that the chance of me having to testify in court was slim to none, since Willis had already plead guilty, but I had to stay in Sunny Shores just in case.

  What I would do once it was over, was entirely up to me. I was still unsure as to what my next step would be. There were still no friends in town that I could turn to. Liam’s parents had kept him locked away since he was released from the hospital. I wasn’t allowed to contact him in any way, shape, or form.

  Even after they were informed of his business agreement with Willis, I was still to blame for what had happened to him. By that point, I could have cared less. People were going to believe what they wanted to, no matter what the evidence said. That was a lesson that I learned a long time ago.

  Of course, I did wonder if he was okay. I found my mind drifting to him quite a bit during the day, but I told myself it was for the best. He was better off without me in his life. That was the honest truth.

  We would always have those few weeks together. And I would always be thankful that he took a chance, and went against his boss, to take me in. Heaven knows what would have happened to me if he hadn’t. I never would have found out the truth about my parents’ deaths. My bed would have probably been enclosed in an eight by ten cell.

  Who knows? All I could do was be thankful that he had been a part of my life, and that he had given me something that no one else could take away. Then again, he had also taken something from me that I could never get back. Something that I didn’t want back.

  After my first appointment with Doctor Austin, things in my head had gotten better as well. He had been right, that day in the hospital. I suffered from anxiety attacks, not pyromania. Sure, I still loved to watch a pile of sticks burn, but I was no longer scared that my impulses would cause me to set the town on fire. I was no longer a danger to those around me.

  Unless they really pissed me off.

  ***

  The ringing of my new cell phone, courtesy of Detective Newman, woke me from a deep sleep. I glanced over at the alarm clock and groaned. There were still four hours before I had to get up. As I mumbled expletives and threats of lost appendages, I flipped open the phone to find a number that I didn’t recognize.

  “Hello?” I answered. At first the caller was silent. As I was about to hang up, a familiar voice came throug
h the phone.

  “Miss me yet?” Liam asked. Just the sound of his voice brought me back to that night in the shower. The way his lips felt on mine, the weight of his body as he drove me further and further towards the brink. I couldn’t stop the smile from forming.

  “Not at all,” I replied, holding the phone to my ear and laying back on the bed. “How are you?”

  “Better. Much better. You?”

  “I’m good.” There was a small silence, neither of us sure what to say next. I took a deep breath and finally said what I had been denying for too long. “I want to see you.”

  “I thought you’d never ask.”

  ***

  “Why are you leaving?” he asked as I snuggled into his side. Both of us were completely naked, with sweat covering our bodies, but the awkwardness from our first encounter was gone. “You could stay, you know. With me.”

  I stiffened at his words, unwilling to hurt him with my answer, but sure that I would have to. “I can’t stay here, Liam. It’s just…too much. You’ve seen the shit storm that I’ve caused with Governor Willis. He’s going to make it impossible for me to be normal. If I don’t go, I’ll never get the freedom that I’ve craved for so long.”

  “It will eventually blow over. People will move on. They’ll forget.” He stroked my arm gently, almost as if he was memorizing every freckle, every bump.

  With a quick shake of my head, I looked him in the eye. There was no easy way to say goodbye, but doing it without looking him in the eye was a low blow. He deserved better than that. “They won’t. They never have. But I’m okay with it. I mean, this is my chance to start over. To be someone other than ‘that girl’ who spent ten years locked in the wacky shack.

  “It’s my chance to make my parents proud of me, even if they aren’t here to see me.” The tears threatened to fall, and this time I wouldn’t stop them. It was cleansing. “Who knows? We might see each-” He put his hand up, stopping me.

  “Don’t say it. Don’t make a promise that you don’t intend to keep. I know you won’t be back. And you know that I can’t chase you.”