Releasing Chaos
Page 20
"Nacht." I pushed the croaked words through a throat sore from all the singing. "I want to go to Nathan's estate in Bahbelle."
Thankfully he didn't question my request, only took my arm one more time. Before the shadows swallowed us both, Ushna and Corey grabbed onto us. When we stepped out into the dim light along the outer wall of the estate, the darkness seemed to caress me, as if it wasn't quite ready to release its grip. Nacht pushed me away as he grasped the shadow and pulled, his scowl telling me I wasn't imagining it; he didn't like how the void acted. I was too numb to be scared.
"Why are we here?" Ushna asked, gently taking my hand.
I opened my mouth to answer, but the only thing that came forth was a wail. The scream sounded like a cross between a wolf's howl and a dragon's roar. It was as if I was trying to release the horror I'd seen tonight, my anguished cries increasing with every passing second. All I could see and smell was blood. The only thing I felt was the despair of my Lupes, the way the very stones of those places had wept at what they'd borne witness to over the years. I tried to release the turmoil, all the agony, and let it go. Even as I attempted to cleanse myself, fury rose because I knew full well who was responsible for giving my Lupes to the humans.
Daniel Sullivan.
But knowing who to hold accountable for the horrors reaped upon my people didn't lessen the anger. How could Nathan ally himself with such a foul man? How could he turn to Daniel knowing Daniel had been the one who had tried, and almost succeeded, in killing me? Did he know Daniel had invited the humans to experiment on our people?
I tore off the mask, disconcerted to find my cheeks wet. I scraped my hand across my face but couldn't stop the tears. Taking one step, then two, I moved across the lawn toward the childhood home that held all my remembered laughter, and now too many sorrows. The front was blackened and gaping from the explosion caused by Colonel Koma, another reminder of Nathan's betrayal.
"Tristan?"
I roared and charged the building, ignoring Ushna and Corey's calls, too far gone in my sorrow, mourning all I'd lost and not sure how to stop. Before I barreled through the outer wall, a thought flitted through my memory, the warning Tiamat had given me. Reliving my past lives before rebirth could have stolen my mind, causing me to go insane. I found it darkly amusing that what had come afterwards had pushed me to the edge, the events of the here and now claiming the fucking prize.
Chapter Nineteen
Ushna Ahura-Yazda
My worst nightmare was coming true. Since Tristan's rebirth he'd been solemn, subdued, and so unlike his joking, cheerful self. I'd said as much to Brian, but he didn't grow up with us and couldn't see the changes in Tristan that I did.
Tristan had refused to talk about Nathan after his one and only visit while Nathan was in the holding center at the ranch. Corey gave us an abbreviated rundown of how Nathan had spoken to Tristan, and yet Tristan refused to believe Nathan purposely worked against us and everything we were building for the Lycan people. He was reluctant to take action, declining to officially charge Nathan with a crime. Brian and I would probably end up having to do so in his stead.
Tristan would never betray his family. He found it hard to believe Nathan had made a deal with Daniel of his own free will, contrary to the evidence we found. Brian raged and railed on Tristan's behalf, but Tristan had been ominously silent on the matter until now.
Earlier, when I'd walked in on Tristan sucking Brian off, I'd suspected it was to shut Brian up. Brian told me he'd speak to Tristan, again, about Nathan's escape. I'm sure Tristan used sex to put the conversation off, just as he'd avoided all the other talks. But now he shifted to his Lupe form and tore at the walls of his childhood home, calling for Nathan as if repeating the name enough would summon him.
Corey spoke softly to Nacht. I hoped he had an idea on how to calm Tristan because I was fresh out. Following in Tristan's wake, I allowed him to beat his frustration out on the structure. He'd been silent, too silent, about his thoughts these last couple of months. Now he'd broken like I'd feared he would. His hoarse cries shattered my fucking heart and before I knew what I was doing, I touched his lower back.
He spun on his heel, his towering Lupe frame dropping into a low crouch. Shining golden eyes peered at me over a long snout, lips pulled back over his jagged teeth as he snarled threateningly. But I wasn't afraid. No matter the form he wore, he'd always be Tristan.
"Come. I don't want you to hurt yourself." I held my hand out, hoping he'd take my offer.
In the blink of an eye, he transformed into his dragon, big and beautiful as he lifted his head on his long neck and released a roar I was sure could be heard for miles. Swishing his tail, he demolished the nearest wall, and then turned and charged the stairs leading to the second floor as if they had personally affronted him. A trail of smoke steadily puffed from the sides of Tristan's mouth. After the stairs were thoroughly destroyed, he turned back to me as if to say, "What are you going to do about that?"
My answer was to transform into my own dragon, my body longer than his and cramped in the limited space of the ruined mansion. I chomped him on the tail then slithered out of the house through a hole in the wall, the jagged wood scraping against my scales as I wriggled through. Tristan roared, twisting to snap at me as I made my escape. His shape was more cumbersome on the ground than mine. He was meant to soar the skies, and so when he turned to dog my heels he took out more walls in his pursuit than he had in his anger. Following me through the hole in the wall completely knocked it down, leaving a circle of dry wall around his neck like a collar.
Rumbling a hissy laugh, I nipped Tristan on the flank and darted away. Again and again I struck lightly, playfully, drawing him away from the building and out into the expanse of fragrant grass where I allowed him to catch me and roll me onto my back. I lifted my chin, letting him nuzzle my neck, scraping the horns of his snout along my scales. He bit and pulled on the whiskers of my chin before hopping awkwardly away, the move reminiscent of a young pup who begged to play. So I did.
Back and forth we chased each other, until the hurt emanating from him lessened. Corey joined in, changing into his Lupe form. The two teamed up against me, but they couldn't catch me. On the ground, I sped like the wind. When I finally let myself be snared, I was buried under Tristan's weight as he covered me in his scent.
Once Tristan calmed, he noticed we had an audience. Neesie was the first to approach, arms outstretched as if she'd take Tristan onto her lap like an oversized cat. Suddenly bashful, Tristan curled up on the ground. Neesie wrapped her arms around his neck and, for long moments, she whispered in his ear. I withdrew, not wanting to intrude on their moment. Now I understood Corey had asked Nacht to fetch a great many people important to Tristan, several of whom hadn't seen him, Brian, or me in our dragon forms. Neesie's fiancé Lonnie Fowler, Jynx, Devlin, Nacht, Jory, Bixx Decimus, Gregori, Juan, and even Ace were present. Randy leaned on Bixx, and hiding behind him was Justus, Neoma, and Dawn, their expressions openly excited as they took in Tristan and me.
Lonnie approached slowly, and knelt next to Neesie. He wiped tenderly at her wet cheeks, and Tristan blew smoke in Lonnie's face. His forked tongue lolled to the side, his wide grin exposing every deadly tooth, but the humor shone in his eyes as Lonnie coughed. He rolled on his back when Neesie reprimanded him for torturing Lonnie again. As if that was the cue, everyone standing at a distance approached us. Corey, still in his Lupe form, moved to cuddle Tristan's side, watchful and ever vigilant as our friends and family slowly became comfortable with our forms. The empathy inherent in them sensed Tristan's distress, their wolves took over and they touched and stroked Tristan, giving support and soothing away the last of Tristan's fractured nerves.
Once upon a time, he wouldn't have been able to handle the comforting offered by a tribe. Now he lay still as Jory climbed on top of him, draping himself across Tristan's belly. Gregori followed only to slide off with a yelp, getting wedged in the crevice between Tristan and me.
"Uncle Ushna?" Turning my head, I saw the pups standing there looking at me as if I was the best jungle gym ever. So I sprawled out and let them poke, prod, and crawl on me. Dawn sat between my white dragon paws, braiding the tendrils of my bearded chin.
"He won't be sad forever," she said, shooting a quick look in Tristan's direction. Randy sat on the ground, leaning against Tristan's neck, telling Tristan how he and Enkidu beat and killed the God Gugalanna. Everyone had changed into their wolf forms and lay around Tristan, heads lifted as they listened to Randy's story.
I rumbled to let her know I understood. She turned her gaze on me, her large eyes belonging to someone much older, much wiser than her nine years. "Uttu says I shouldn't tell. I'm trying to be good, but sometimes I can't help wanting to help others even if telling them too much might change the future. Sometimes I'm not sorry, like when I told Uncle Tristan about the pig because he is here with us now. I don't know if my telling him changed the path he walked, at the time I wasn't thinking. But he… He loved us a lot to come back, right?"
I nodded. Tristan did indeed love us. Probably more than we knew.
Dawn gave me a sly look. "But if I tell you stuff and not him, then you can help him, right?"
My heart almost stopped. What was she saying? Did she see something in Tristan's future? Did I want to know? No, I didn't. I didn't think I could bear the burden of knowing what would come. Would I be tempted to change it? Could anything I did alter the course? What would be the consequences?
Dawn's gaze had taken on a faraway look. She frowned and sighed. "I'm sorry I said anything. Uttu keeps reminding me that telling has a consequence. I'm beginning to understand why she says that."
I butted her head with my snout and she gave me a small smile.
"I love you, too. This whole seer thing sucks cowpies."
I snorted.
"Don't say sucks, Dawnie," Neoma said from her perch between my shoulders.
"Fine. This stinks worse than a Port-o-Potty."
Neoma chuckled. "It stinks worse than mucking the horse stalls."
"Stinks worse than a pig farm."
Neoma groaned, making a gagging noise. "That was the worst smell ever. I'm never eating pork chops again."
"I don't know. I like the ham with pineapple on it." Dawn crawled up my neck and Neoma scooted back, seeming to completely forget what Dawn had been talking about earlier.
I wished I could forget as quickly as she did. At least she wasn't crying hysterically like she had the last time she'd experienced a vision about Tristan. I hoped whatever worried her wasn't as terrible as before, but the thought didn't alleviate my concern. There was no way I'd be able to handle seeing either Brian or Tristan hurt, but especially Tristan. Maybe it was because I'd seen him placed in the ground, believing he'd died, once before. If I had to go through that again, I wouldn't stay sane.
As if sensing my thoughts, Tristan's head turned until he saw me, his eyes narrowing. He was still on his back with Gregori and Jory stretched across him in wolf form.
Juan romped with Jynx, Devlin, and Nacht, playing like pups, followed by the True Blood, Ace, who had taken his alternate form too. He smelled of prey. The scent was strong but didn't inspire in me the desire to hunt. He had short fawn-colored hair with a curl of short horns above his ears. He stood upright, but his knee joints and calves faced backwards, allowing him to drop and run on all four limbs. His hands were shorter from palm to the square fingers tips. He was as sleek and graceful as any deer. His shape spoke of speed, and I had no doubt Ace could outrun any of the wolves present. His short triangular nose sniffed the air every few seconds. Then his thin, dark brown lips opened, as a soft startled noise escaped. His large golden eyes were trained on something in the distance.
All sound stopped, ears perked up listening. Jory stood up on Tristan's stomach, scenting the air. Corey's rumbling roar sounded low and long. Then I caught the scent as well.
Nathan.
*~*~*
Nathan Janick
I barely made it out of the mansion when Tristan and the others abruptly appeared on the grounds. Clutching what I'd gathered, I scaled a section of the brick wall facing the estate. I needed to leave immediately. If discovered, Tristan would show me no mercy. I expected nothing less. If he only knew, but he didn't, and I didn't plan to enlighten him.
Wherever they'd come from, Tristan was in a dire state of distress, the likes of which I'd never witnessed before. He changed into his Lupe and I was mesmerized. I'd never seen him in his half-man, half-wolf form. I had on other warriors, but Tristan wasn't just any warrior. He was the alpha of all alphas, a fact easily apparent now. He howled and went about destroying what was left to the front of the house. I didn't have to guess what had enraged him so. He kept calling my name over and over again. As his big brother, the pull to go and soothe him was strong, but any comfort I gave wouldn't be accepted. He'd probably rather see me dead than let me lay a hand on him. So I watched as he took his fury out on my home. I stared in awe when he changed into a dragon, itching to touch the scales that glinted like the surface of a pond under the light of the moon. Then Ushna distracted him until the others came. Something in me broke a little knowing I used to be the one they called upon to support and comfort him. Never would I have the privilege again.
As dangerous as my close proximity was, I watched them for as long as I dared. Tossing my bag to the ground, I slid over the edge, putting the tall brick wall between me and them. My already abraded hands bled as I dangled before dropping over the side.
"I wondered what was taking you so long." Daniel moved from the shadows, pushing me up against the hard surface.
"I was almost caught in the house when they arrived." I gave a negligent shrug. "I stayed to see what they were up to, but as usual, it's only Tristan throwing a temper tantrum. I waited for them to be too engrossed in pampering Tristan before moving again. I can outrun everyone but Neesie and Tristan."
Daniel's eyes were hard and cold as I grabbed his hips and pulled him closer.
"Are you having second thoughts?" he asked.
Smirking, I said, "No."
He widened his stance and pressed me harder into the wall, watching, scenting me for a lie. When his lips took mine, I knew he believed me. I opened for him and let him have his way. I'd let him do whatever he wanted to me if it kept me at his side. Just where I wanted to be.
He tore his lips away from mine with a low growl. "I should kill him right now for everything he's done."
I bucked against him, letting him feel what I wanted to do instead. "She will be displeased if you attempt to take his life again. She told us She had a plan. We're supposed to find the mirror. I won't give Her a reason to reprimand me, not even for you." I allowed the shiver to climb my spine, remembering the one and only time I'd been at Her tender mercy.
Daniel's expression softened. "You're right. We don't have time. I'd hate for you to be punished and have your beautiful face ruined."
"How magnanimous of you," I drolled lazily.
His eyes narrowed once again. "Come, we need to go before they scent us." He grasped my wrist and tugged. I picked up the bag of goodies I'd retrieved from my home and followed him, leaving the sound of my brother's tribe frolicking in the front lawn behind.
*~*~*
Tristan Janick
If I hadn't been so focused on tracking Nathan's scent, I would've snapped at Jory for transforming into his Lupe so he could ride me like a steed. Nathan was long gone by the time we located the place his lingering scent came from. A trace amount of blood remained on the bricks where he'd obviously scraped his skin going over the wall. But before I could stand on my hind legs to look over the top, Jory jumped off and leaped the barrier. Ushna hefted his lean dragon form against the wall. At any other time, I would've harassed and nipped at Ushna's tail just to see him teeter over the side, but my heart wasn't into being playful anymore. Instead, I searched the gloom for my brother, hoping, always hoping he'd come home and t
ell me these last few weeks had been a bad dream.
Ushna stepped up to the edge of the forest, but stopped when a horrendous noise escaped me, revealing how wounded my heart was. Corey and Jory disappeared into the woods, probably following the disappearing trail. Ushna clambered back over the wall, nudging me to come away, and with great reluctance, I did. My friends and family followed us back to where the pups curled protectively around Randy, Nacht standing guard over them. Had anyone else scented Daniel's putrid odor?
Brushing along my side, Ushna offered what comfort he could. The wolves watched me apprehensively, but I felt better than I had earlier. Having a fit of temper and allowing myself to be comforted aided in leaching away the darkness that had shrouded my thoughts.
Since being reborn, I'd been wrapped up in so many negative emotions. I carried guilt because Ushna had watched Ashur place me in the ground as I sat on the edge of death. He still cried out in the dark of night from nightmares about it. Warriors had perished and been maimed because I'd made bad choices in my past reincarnations. The full scope of what we were up against—the Servants of the Glorious One, Inanna, and Marduk's possible alliance against us—on top of the task to free Tiamat's children at times overwhelmed me. I carried regret for denying Brian and Ushna over the centuries. I was responsible for Theo being trapped in a web of Inanna's deceit. My ancestors chose to run and hide, leaving our people in limbo, opening the door for those who'd preyed on their vulnerability. Then there was Nathan's betrayal because he lost faith in me. Or maybe he never had faith in me to begin with. I didn't know, and perhaps I never would.
But there was absolutely nothing I could do about what came before. What I could do was focus on our future.