Burnt Offerings

by Laurell K. Hamilton

Chapter 50

  50

  Asher dragged me to a corner, and the others gathered around on the floor like story time in elementary school. Or maybe show-and-tell was a better analogy. He jerked me roughly against him, one hand in my hair controlling my head. He kissed me roughly enough to bruise unless I opened my mouth. I did better than that. I closed my eyes and French kissed him, running my tongue between his fangs. I'd perfected the art of French kissing a vampire without bleeding, and apparently I was good at it because Asher drew back first. There was a look of astonishment, total and complete. He couldn't have looked more surprised if I'd slapped him. No, less surprised. He expected the slap.

  Jean-Claude was right. If I could just outmaneuver Asher, be bolder than he was, he might never sink fang into me. It was worth a try. I didn't even let Jean-Claude feed off of me. I wasn't sure it was the lesser evil, but a girl's got to draw the line somewhere.

  Asher put his face so near mine, our noses almost touched. "Look at me, girl, look at me. You don't want to touch this. "

  The startling pale blue of his eyes, almost a white-blue, framed by golden eyelashes, was lovely. I concentrated on the eyes. "Undo your hair," I said.

  He pushed me away from him, hard enough that I stumbled. I was pissing him off, stealing his revenge. Can't rape the willing.

  I went to him, stalking around him, half wishing for the heels Jean-Claude had wanted me to wear. Asher's back was pure and untouched. Only a few dribbling scars where the holy water had trailed down his side. I ran my hands up that smooth skin, and he jumped as if I'd bit him.

  He whirled, grabbing my arms, holding me away from him. He searched my face almost frantically. Whatever he saw, it didn't please him. He moved his hands upward until he held my wrists, then placed one of my hands on the scarred side of his chest. "It's easy to close your eyes and pretend. Easy to touch that which is not spoiled. " He pressed my hand against the rough ridges that had been his chest. "This is the reality. This is what I live with every night, what I will live with for all eternity, what he did to me. "

  I stepped in close, pressing my upper arm against the scars, as well as my hands. The skin was rough, ridged, like frozen, fleshy water. I looked up into his face from inches away, and said, "Jean-Claude did not do this to you. Men who are long dead did this to you. " I rose up on tiptoe and kissed his scarred cheek.

  He closed his eyes, and a single tear slid from his eye to trail down that rough cheek. I kissed the tear away, and when he opened his eyes, they were suddenly startlingly close. In his eyes I saw a fear, loneliness, a need so overwhelming that it had eaten his heart as surely as the holy water had eaten his skin.

  I wanted to take away the hurt I saw in his eyes. I wanted to hold him in my arms until the pain eased. I realized in that moment that it wasn't me. It was Jean-Claude. He wanted to heal Asher's pain. He wanted to take away that awful emptiness . I looked at Asher through a film of emotions that I'd never had for him, a patina of nostalgia for better nights, of love and joy and warm bodies in the cold darkness.

  I kissed my way down his chin, careful to touch only the scars, ignoring the perfect skin as I'd ignored the wounded skin earlier. Strangely, his neck was whole, untouched. I kissed his collar bone and its white ridge of scars. His hands eased but didn't release me. I pulled out of his grip as I moved down his body, one soft kiss at a time.

  I ran my tongue across his belly where it vanished into his pants. He shuddered. I moved to the open skin on his hip and worked down. When the scars ended at mid-thigh, so did I. I stood, and he watched me, watched me almost afraid of what I would do next.

  I had to stand on tiptoe to reach behind him to the braid of his hair. It would have been easier from behind, but he'd have taken it as a rejection. I couldn't turn away from the scars, not even if that wasn't what I was doing at all. I loosened the braid. I separated the strands of hair, then had to lean my body against his just to steady myself while I combed my fingers through the golden strands. There is something very personal to touching a person's hair in the right situation. I took my time, enjoying the feel of it, the extraordinary color, the thick richness of it between my fingers. When his hair fell in waves around his shoulders, I lowered myself flat-footed. My calves were cramped, too long on point.

  I put into my eyes what I saw, that he was beautiful.

  Asher kissed me on the forehead, a light touch. He held me against him for a moment, then stepped back. "I cannot capture you with my eyes. Without that or the throes of passion, it would only cause you pain. I can feed on anyone. What I saw in your face, no one else could give me. " He looked out at Jean-Claude. They stared at each other for a long moment, then Asher stepped out of the circle, and I made my way back to Jean-Claude.

  I sat down beside him, knees tucked under, skirt smoothed back. He hugged me and kissed me on the forehead as Asher had done. I wondered if he was trying to taste Asher's mouth on my skin. The thought didn't bother me. Maybe it should have, but I didn't ask him. I wasn't sure I wanted to know.

  The Traveler came to his feet as if by magic, just suddenly standing. "I don't think we could be more astonished if Anita had conjured a dragon from thin air. She has tamed our Asher and paid no blood for it. " He glided to the open floor space. "Yvette is not so easily sated. " He smiled at her as she rose to her feet. "Are you, my dear?"

  She ran her hands through Jason's hair as she glided past. He jumped as if she'd stung him, which amused the hell out of her. She was still laughing when she turned with a swoosh of white skirts and held her arms out to him. "Come to me, Jason. "

  He huddled in on himself, curling into a little ball of arms and elbows and knees. He just shook his head.

  "You are my choice, my special one," Yvette said. "You are not strong enough to refuse me. "

  An awful thought occurred to me. I was willing to bet that Jean-Claude hadn't covered rotting on people as a no-no. Jason might not recover from another embrace from the messily dead. I leaned into Jean-Claude and asked, "You did cover torture, no outright torture, right?"

  "Of course," he said.

  I stood. "You can feed on him, but you can't rot on him. "

  She turned cool eyes to me. "You have no say in this. "

  "Jean-Claude negotiated for no torture. Rotting on Jason while you feed is torture to him. You know that. It's why you want him. "

  "I want my bit of werewolf blood, and I want it exactly the way I like it best," she said.

  Richard said, "You can feed off of me. "

  "You don't know what you're offering, Richard," I said.

  "I know that Jason is mine to protect, and he can't endure this. " He got to his feet, splendid in his new tux.

  "Has Jason told you what happened to him in Branson?" I asked. Jason had been having a forced tryst with two female vamps when they began to rot. They turned into long-dead corpses while he was still lying naked with them. It was his worse nightmare, almost a phobia now. I'd witnessed the event, even had those dead hands on my body when I waded in to to rescue him. I couldn't blame him for being terrified.

  "Jason told me," Richard said.

  "Hearing about it isn't the same thing as being there, Richard. "

  Jason had hidden his face against his knees. He was saying something low. I had to kneel to hear it. He was saying, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," over and over and over. I touched his arm, and he screamed, eyes wide, mouth open in astonishment.

  "It's okay, Jason. It's okay. " Richard was right. Jason couldn't do this.

  I nodded. "You're right, Richard. "

  "No," Padma said. "No, the Wolf King is mine. I will not share him. "

  "I will take nothing less than a shapeshifter," Yvette said.

  Jamil stood.

  Richard said, "No, it's my job to protect Jason, not yours, Jamil. "

  "It's my job to protect you, Ulfric. "

  Richard shook his head and started undoing the black bow tie.
He undid the top few buttons on the pleated shirt, baring the strong, perfect line of his neck.

  "No," Yvette said. She stamped her foot, hands on hips. "He is not afraid. I want someone who's afraid. "

  In my head I thought, he will be afraid. He'll be very afraid. Notice I wasn't jumping up and offering myself in Jason's place. I'd seen this particular show. I had no desire to star in it.

  "And I have my own plans for the Ulfric," Padma said.

  The Traveler tsked at them like naughty children. "It is a fair offer, Yvette. The Ulfric himself for one of his lesser wolves. "

  "It is not the potency of the blood I want. It is the terror. "

  "It is too generous an offer for someone who is not council," Padma said.

  "Do they always squabble like this?" I asked.

  "Oui," Jean-Claude said.

  Near-eternal life, frightening power, and they were petty. How disappointing. How typical. I touched Jason's face, made him look at me. His breath was coming in short gasps. I touched his hands; his skin was cold.

  "Jason, if she didn't rot on you, could you let her feed?"

  He swallowed twice before he could talk. "I don't know. "

  A truthful answer. He was terrified. "I'll go with you. "

  He looked at me then, looked at me and not at the screaming in his head. "She won't like that. "

  "Fuck her. She can take it or leave it. "

  That got me the ghost of a smile. He gripped my hands where they lay on top of his. He nodded.

  I looked at Jean-Claude still sitting by us. "You're not being much help. "

  "I too have seen the show, ma petite. " He was echoing my thoughts so closely, I wondered whose thoughts were which. But what he was saying was frightening. He wouldn't offer himself to Yvette, not just to save Jason.

  I stood up, drawing Jason to his feet. He clung to my hand like a kid on the first day of kindergarten afraid Mommy would leave him alone with the bullies.

  "If you give your word of honor that you won't rot on him, you can feed off of him. "

  "No," Yvette said. "No, that spoils it all. "

  "It's your choice," I said. "You can have Richard, if Padma will let you, but he won't be afraid. You can rot on him though, but you won't get Jason's horror of you. " I moved so she could see him clearly.

  Jason flinched but stayed standing, but he wouldn't or couldn't meet her eyes. He stared at me. I think he was actually looking down my dress. But for once I didn't make him stop. Distraction was just what he needed. Knowing Jason, I wasn't surprised that a peek-a-boo show was what he chose.

  Yvette licked her lips. Finally, she nodded.

  I led Jason towards her. He was dressed for his own peek-a-boo show. He was wearing a pair of leather pants dyed a blue two shades darker than his eyes. The pants looked painted on, sliding seamlessly into boots dyed to match. He wore no shirt, only a vest that matched the pants, fastened with three leather thongs.

  He stumbled as we entered the cleared space. Yvette glided towards him, and he hung back. Only my hand kept him from bolting. "Easy, Jason, easy. "

  He just kept shaking his head, straining against my hold on his wrist. He wasn't exactly struggling, but he wasn't cooperating either.

  "It's too much to ask," Richard said. "He is my wolf, and I will not see him tormented. "

  I looked at Richard, proud, arrogant. "He's my wolf, too. " I released Jason's wrist slowly and put a hand on either side of his face. "If this is too much to ask, say so, and we'll do something else. "

  He gripped my wrists, and I watched him collect himself. I watched his hard-won control fill his eyes, his face. "Don't leave me. "

  "I'm right here. "

  "No," Yvette said, "you cannot hold his hand while I feed. "

  I turned to her, Jason so close our bodies touched without hands. "Then it's over. You don't touch him. "

  "First you tame Asher. Now you seek to tame me. You have nothing I want, Anita. "

  "I have Jason. "

  She hissed at me, all that careful beauty breaking down and showing the beast inside. She snatched at him around me, and he jerked back. She pawed at him like a cat, and I kept my body between them, moving us into the center of the circle. I felt Jason's back hit the wall, and I grabbed Yvette's arm.

  "Feel his terror, Yvette. I can feel his heart pounding against my back. My holding his hand won't make him unafraid. Nothing I could do would make him not fear your touch. "

  Jason hid his face against my back, hands sliding around my waist. I patted his arm. His body was one throbbing beat as his heart, his blood, pumped through his body so hard I could feel it. His terror rode the air like a hot, invisible mist.

  "Agreed," she said. She backed away to the center of the cleared floor. She held one pale hand out to us. "Come, Anita, bring our prize. "

  I slid in his arms until I was leading him by the hand again. His palms were sweating. I led him to stand with his back to her. He gripped my hands in both of his. His hands trembled. He stared at my face as if it were the only thing left in the world.

  Yvette touched his back.

  He whimpered. I drew him into me until our arms were touching, our faces only inches apart. I had no words of comfort. I could offer nothing but a hand to hold and something else to think about.

  Yvette trailed her fingers around his shoulders until she came to the thongs that tied the vest. Her hands brushed the front of my body as she fumbled with the ties. I started to step back, and Jason's hands sang with tension. I stayed where I was, but my own pulse was beating in my throat. I was afraid of her, too, afraid of what she was.

  She had to slide her hand around his waist to get the last tie, molding her body against his back. She licked his ear, a quick flick of her pale pink tongue.

  He closed his eyes, bowing his head until our foreheads touched.

  "You can do this," I said.

  He nodded his head, eyes still closed, forehead still touching mine.

  Yvette ran her hands up his back under the vest, then curved them around to his naked chest, running her nails down his flesh in a quick rush.

  Jason gasped, and I realized in that instant that it wasn't just fear. He had slept with her before he knew what she was. She knew his body, knew how to bring him to passion as only a lover can. She'd use that against him now.

  Jason drew his face back from mine. He looked at me, and he seemed lost.

  She shoved the vest up around his shoulders and licked a long wet line up his spine.

  He turned his face from me, so I wouldn't see his eyes. "It's all right if some of it feels good, Jason. "

  He turned back to me, and there were other things in his eyes beside fear. I'd been more comfortable with the fear, but he was the one hurting.

  Yvette knelt and did something low on his back with her mouth. His knees buckled suddenly, taking us both to the floor. I ended up flat on my back with Jason on top of me. I had one leg free, which was a help and a hindrance, since it put him perfectly on top of me. I could tell his body was happy to be there. I wasn't sure about the rest of him. He was making small sounds low in his throat.

  I scooted out from under him enough so that his groin wasn't pressing mine and I could sit up to see what Yvette had done to him. There were fangs marks low on his back near the spine. The blood beaded on the blue leather like it had been Scotch-garded.

  His arms locked around my waist. "Don't leave me, please. " His cheek was pressed against my waist. The tension in his body made my heart thud.

  "I won't leave you, Jason. " I stared at Yvette over his body.

  She was kneeling with the white skirt pooled around her, as if a wandering photographer would be coming by. She smiled, and it reached her eyes, filling them with a dark, joyous light. She was enjoying the hell out of herself.

  "You've fed. It's over," I said.

  "That wasn't a feeding, and you know it. I've taste
d him, but I haven't fed. "

  It had been worth a try. She was right. I knew she hadn't fed. "Then just do it, Yvette. "

  "If you had let me rot, then it would be quicker, but I want his terror and his pleasure. That takes longer. "

  Jason made a small sound, like a child crying in the dark. I looked out at Richard. He was still standing, but he wasn't angry with me now. There was real pain in his eyes. He'd have rather it be him than Jason. Like a true king he'd have taken the pain.

  I smelled forest, rich and green, leaf mold so wet and new it made my throat tight. I stared at Richard and knew what he was suggesting. We'd had our little fight about the munin. He'd truly thought I was safe from them because I wasn't a shapeshifter. He hadn't known the marks I shared with him would put me at risk. But now it had possibilities. Not channeling Raina, I never wanted to do that again, but the power of the pack. Their warmth, their touch--that could help.

  I closed my eyes and felt the mark open like curtains parting in my body. Jason raised his head, staring up at me. His nostrils flared, scenting me, scenting the power.

  Yvette ripped the vest down his back like it was paper.

  Jason gasped.

  She licked along his body, then suddenly her mouth closed over his ribs. I saw the muscles in her jaw tense as Jason's body spasmed against me. He collapsed against me, hands scrambling along the floor as if he didn't know what to do with his them, or with his body.

  Yvette drew back leaving neat red holes. Blood dripped from the wound. She licked her lips and smiled at me.

  "Does it hurt?" I asked Jason.

  "Yes," he said, "and no. "

  I started to raise him up.

  Yvette put a hand in the middle of his back. "No, I want him on the ground. I want him below me. "

  I smelled the sharp musk of fur. Jason tried to look at me, but Yvette forced his head down into my lap. She used him to support her body while she peered into my face. "What are you doing?"

  "I am his lupa. I call the pack to his aid. "

  "They cannot help him," she said.

  "Yes," I said, "they can. " I slid down, wriggling under Jason's body. The little black dress ended up about waist level. Everyone was getting a great view of the hose and undies. Good that everything matched. But I could see Jason's face. I could feel his body a little more than I wanted to. But it was his eyes I wanted, his face. I wanted him looking at me.

  I'd never tried missionary position with a man exactly my height. The eye contact was incredibly intimate. He gave a nervous laugh. "I've had fantasies like this. "

  "Funny," I said. "I haven't. "

  "Ooh, too cruel. " His spine bowed, body pressing against mine. Yvette had taken another taste. The fear was back in full force, filling his eyes with panic.

  "I'm here. We're here. "

  He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He drew in the scent of leaves, and fur, and dark places full of bodies that all smelled like pack. And Yvette struck again.

  Jason screamed, and I raised myself up enough to see that the vampire had pulled a strip of skin loose so it flapped. Blood poured down his skin.

  Jean-Claude came to the edge of the circle. "That is torture, not feeding. It stops here. "

  "No," Yvette said, "I will feed. "

  "Then feed," Jean-Claude said, "but do it quickly before our patience is at an end. "

  She crawled up his body, putting her weight on top of his, grinding me into the floor. The leather stitching over his groin was ground so hard against me that it hurt. His breath came in quick pants, fast and faster. He was going to hyperventilate.

  "Look at me," I said.

  Yvette jerked his head back by the hair. "No, look at me. Because I will hurt you, Jason. I will haunt your dreams. "

  "No," I said. The power swelled inside of me, and I spit power into her pale face. Blood flew in a long, shallow cut down her cheek.

  Everything froze. Yvette raised a hand to her bleeding cheek. "How did you do that?"

  "If I said I wasn't really sure, would you believe me?"

  "No," she said.

  "Then believe this, bitch. Finish this now or I will cut you up. " I believed it when I said it, even though I wasn't sure I could ever repeat the performance. Only master vampires could cause cuts like that from a distance. I'd never even seen Jean-Claude do it.

  Yvette believed me. She leaned close enough that the blood from the cut dripped onto Jason's blond hair. "As you like, putain, but know this, I will not put him under. For this--" she showed the cut to me by a turn of her face--"he will suffer. "

  "Ain't it always the way," I said.

  She frowned at me, not the response she was expecting apparently. I put a hand on either side of Jason's face, forced his eyes to meet mine. There was puzzlement under the fear now, because Jason knew I'd never done anything like what had just happened to Yvette. But we couldn't say, golly, gee whiz, how'd I do that in front of the bad guys?

  Yvette shifted until her body was pressed along the length of Jason's. He moved against me. There was nothing between Jason and me but the leather of his pants and some satin. My body reacted. It was my turn to close my eyes so he wouldn't see. Maybe it was the physical reaction, but I was suddenly drowning in the scent of fur, and the warm, close knowledge of his body. The munin was here in a warm, building rush.

  I lifted my face and kissed him. The moment our lips touched, the power flowed between us. It was a binding of a different sort, better than with Nathaniel, and I knew why. Nathaniel wasn't pack.

  Jason didn't kiss me back at first; then he sank into my mouth, into the warm power, and the power grew until I could feel it like a small hot wind across my body, across our bodies. The power flowed over Yvette and made her cry out. She plunged fangs into Jason's neck. He screamed into my mouth, body stiffening, but the pain rode on the warm, building power and was washed away.

  I could feel Yvette's mouth like a siphon, sucking the power away. I thrust it into her and sent her reeling from us, drunk on more than blood.

  Freed of Yvette's body, Jason moved against me. He kissed me as if he'd climb inside and pull me around him, and I kissed him back. I'd welcomed Raina's munin, and I didn't know how to turn it off.

  I felt his lower body react, felt him come, and that was enough to help me swim back into control. What a nice embarrassing moment to be driving again.

  Jason collapsed on top of me, panting, but not from fear. I turned my face away so that I wouldn't catch a glimpse of anyone gathered around us. Yvette lay on her side near us, curled into a ball, blood trailing down her chin. She licked the blood, almost halfheartedly as if even that small effort were too much. She spoke French to me: "Je reve de toi. " I'd heard a version of this before from Jean-Claude. She said she'd dream of us.

  I heard myself say, "Why do the French always know exactly what to say at times like this?"

  Jean-Claude knelt beside us. "It is genetic, ma petite. "

  "Ah," I said. I had trouble meeting his eyes with Jason still sprawled across my body.

  "Jason," I said, tapping his bare shoulder. He said nothing, just rolled off me to lie on the floor, closer to Yvette than I'd have ever thought he'd be willing to get.

  I suddenly realized that my skirt was still up around my waist. Jean-Claude helped me sit up while I wiggled the dress down.

  Richard knelt with us. I expected a scathing remark. I'd certainly given him enough ammo for one. He surprised me by saying, "Raina, gone, but not forgotten. "

  I said, "No joke. "

  "I'm sorry, Anita. When you told me, I didn't realize it was an almost complete melding. I understand why you're afraid of it now. There are things you can do to keep it from happening again. I was too angry at you to believe it was this bad. " A look crossed his face, part pain, part confusion. "I am sorry for that. "

  "If you can keep that from happening again, apology accepted. "

 
Padma was suddenly looming over us. "You and I will dance next, Ulfric. After the show your lupa gave us, I am more eager than ever to taste you. "

  Richard glanced at me, then at Jason and Yvette, both still lying on the ground as if any movement was too much. "I don't think I'm that good. "

  "I think you underestimate yourself, wolf," Padma said. He offered Richard a hand, but he stood on his own. The two men were almost the same height. They stared at each other, and I could already feel the power flaring between them, testing each other.

  I lay against Jean-Claude's chest and closed my eyes. "Get me out of here before they start. I can't stand to be near this much power so soon. " He helped me to stand, and when my legs wouldn't hold me, he scooped me up in his arms, holding me effortlessly. He just stood there holding me, as if expecting me to protest.

  I put my arms around his neck and said, "Just do it. "

  He smiled, and it was wondrous. "I have wanted to do this for a very long time. " Was it romantic to be carried in his arms at last? Yes. But when Jason managed to stagger from the floor, the front of his blue leather pants was stained, and that wasn't romantic at all.