Squire Hayseed

by S E Zbasnik

  Tomorrow she’d play along. Smile when asked, do whatever she was told, and be the model squire.

  The day after… Well, there was always another chance for her to escape once everyone got nice and cozy and forgetful.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  “Squire,” the voice bounced through the small sitting room causing Hayley to whip her head up from a basin. Water slushed down her nose, the greasy soap-sludge pooling on the edge of a towel. She drew her hands back to wipe herself a path out of the ice water and looked first at Gavin, then to a stranger at his side.

  “This is Ania,” he said, tipping towards the girl with her hands bundled around a basket. She looked a few years older than Hayley, though some of that could be due to her wearing more of that lady flesh up top and below. Her face had that wholesome fresh look save a large chalk-white birthmark splattered on the side of her left cheek. She’d tucked all her hair up under a kerchief, hiding away whatever color it was, but Hayley’d guess black or a dark brown if pressed.

  “Hi,” Hayley limply threw her hand out in a wave.

  Gavin tapped his hand upon Ania’s shoulder and the girl pivoted her head to stare right up at him, “Hayley is my new squire. She will be assisting me with my duties both here and away.”

  The new girl (okay, Hayley was technically the new girl) smiled wide and nodded her head, “Understood.” Her voice was as flat as unleavened bread, but the smile so bright it burned on her cheeks. Bit odd.

  “Ania here is…” Gavin began when Hayley interrupted.

  “A servant?” Hayley said without thought. She glanced away towards the rising line of the sun when she felt Ania’s grey-brown eyes piercing into her. Crap, was she not supposed to speak again? She thought that was only around the nobs, not everyone.

  “The chambermaid that Lady Bernadine has kindly given us use of. She handles minor matters, the occasional upkeep on our little house when we are out.”

  “Out meaning?”

  “Sent to another settlement in the kingdom,” Gavin said, his back rod straight as his eyes burned.

  “And when we’re in?” Hayley asked, wondering what the point of telling her about Ania was.

  “You shall handle the maintenance, cooking, cleaning, other matters as they become important. Usually, I would leave you in Ania’s care for training for the day.” He paused in talking at Hayley, to focus on Ania instead. Her wide eyes beamed into the knight’s face, same as how everyone else looked at him.

  “What does she know?” Ania asked at Gavin.

  Hayley snorted, “When people are being rude.” She whispered it loud enough for the others to hear, but only her boss glared at her. Sweet, naive Ania continued staring up at him as if he was a saint.

  “Not much, I suspect,” he said right to Ania, but there was a flicker of a glare at Hayley. “I only wished for you to be acquainted.”

  Ania reached her hand out far towards Hayley, her face shining so bright it brought her white mark into relief. “A pleasure to meet you.”

  “Uh,” Hayley swiped her wet palm down her pants and reached to grasp the proffered handshake, “Yeah. Nice to, well, maybe not nice. Who knows? It’s all an adventure.”

  The girl’s lips pinched in deep concentration a moment before she laughed and nodded, “Yes, a grand one often involving the scrubbing of dirty floors and shoveling shit from one mountain to the next.”

  Okay. Hayley cracked at that, nodding her head in agreement. Maybe she could get on with Ania after all. Once she got used to how forcefully she stared at everyone. It felt like the girl was trying to capture the soul of whoever was talking.

  Dropping the hand she offered, Ania turned to Gavin, “Do you require anything else from me, Ser?”

  “No,” he shook his head, “I only need my squire for the day, but thank you.”

  Curtsying, Ania dashed to the door that was left wide open. Before leaving, she turned and winked once at Hayley. What did that mean? Her brain flipped through the possibilities when her knight said, “Do you know where the stables are?”

  “I…I think so,” Hayley scrubbed at her head, the wet hair splattered limply against her forehead before she’d stuff it all up under her cap.

  “Saddle my horse,” Gavin continued, causing Hayley to look at him in confusion. “I believe before we get any further along, you should begin combat training.”

  Hayley couldn’t stop the smile of surprise rising up her cheeks. She figured she’d have to suffer at least a few weeks of carrying around his luggage before he’d even wave a sword at her. Maybe she could be out of here before she said something stupid to a dowager and her head wound up jammed onto a pike.

  Having given his order, Gavin slipped back towards his table stuffed with what looked like important letters. Hayley got halfway to the door before she paused, “Um…”

  “Yes?” He sounded annoyed as if he was about to rescind his offer. Toss her into the pits with Ania and leave the pair of them to shovel latrine holes all afternoon.

  Shaking off the real question banging its fists in her brain, she asked, “Which horse is yours?”

  Gavin smiled, “You will know it.”

  And with that cryptic answer, he spun back toward the pile of letters, happily shuffling them around. Spitting out a held breath, Hayley wandered out of the cool house into the rising heat of the day. She hadn’t felt it next to the stones and with the well water splashing in her eyes, but under the unrelenting sun beating against the thick…whatever this livery was, on her body, she wanted to rush back inside.

  Her sleep had been annoyingly good. Gavin wasn’t gone long to whatever mission the Lady of the house had him on. He got back before Hayley even thought she could risk running by twilight’s purple glow. After that, while she listened to him shuffle back and forth with the fire, sit in a creaky chair, then wander off to bed, she had no choice but to fall asleep herself.

  Who knew beds, even ones dangling over pantries, were so damn comfortable? No rocks digging into her skin, no water dripping off the ceiling and pooling on her hands. Just a long night of uninterrupted slumber and that was what she wanted to run as far away from. Hayley glanced down at her nails.

  Her knight instructed her to brush them clean after he caught her grubby hands reaching for bread to break their fast. It was so strange to see how pink and white they could get, like a baby’s skin…or a lamb’s brain fresh on the market. She couldn’t remember when they looked like that. Did they ever?

  Clean, well rested, even a full stomach — she patted the small bulge above her hips from all the food she stuffed down fast. Maybe this squire thing wouldn’t be so bad after all. Maybe she could even…

  Hayley swung through the open door to the building that stank of shit. Darkness danced over her eyeballs, the shadows of the barn yanking away her vision when she heard it. Thumping like the footsteps of the devil himself it came, clop clop clop. Barely blinking to adjust in time, she glanced up into the demon mouth of the monster before her. Slobber oozed from between jaws not a foot away and Hayley shrieked.

  Scattering from the creature, a hand over her eyes, she whipped her head back and forth around the mass of them all corralled inside the echoing wooden building. A few snorted at her impudence, saliva spraying against the wall as if it were acidic. She bunched up tighter into her shoulders, sliding further away from the pile of hell beasts until her spine knocked into reins dangling off a hook.

  How in the hell was she supposed to get one of those monsters saddled? All of the bric-a-brac that came with horses rested on a few shelves. There were three saddles on stands, Hayley guessing the fancy one with embroidery along the edges being the Lady Snotface’s. So which was Gavin’s? The other two were nearly identical in shape, one worn more along the edges than the other, while the second had what looked like chewed up straps. Taking a full shot in the dark, Hayley hefted up the brown one in her arms.

  And she froze, the massive weight of leather and jangling bits weighing down her strained a
rms. Turning, she sized up the creatures all stomping their…gulp, femur-shattering hooves. How could she possibly know which was Ser Gavin’s? They all looked horrifying. There wasn’t one that had a sword birthmark on its side.

  She couldn’t go back and ask him to explain. He already seemed weary of her, dragging it out longer would get her shipped to the latrine mines. Squeezing her tongue between her teeth, Hayley eased towards one of the creatures. It froze, a single unholy eye twisting around to watch. Her own eyes were bundled up tight as she extended her arms far from her body. With such a stretch, the saddle was practically buckling her body downward, but she fought it as she eased closer to the monster.

  Heat wafted off the animal, her knuckles nearly brushing against the coarse hair when the monster gave a noise like a demon laughing at a doomed soul. Hayley’s eyes foolishly snapped open and she watched its disturbing pointed ear twitch. Dear god. The saddle suddenly grew too heavy in her trembling arms. It plummeted, landing with a loud plop as Hayley dashed back, terrified the horse was about to kick her to death.

  “Oi!” a voice cried from somewhere deeper inside the barn. “What was that?” She could see no one else inside, and for a moment Hayley feared that these horses were capable of speech. No doubt they were about to list her sins before stomping her to paste.

  A black and tan colored horse shifted, its hide twitching in profane ways when another body emerged from behind its flank. The first thing Hayley was drawn to was the forehead. It was a lot of forehead, practically chasing his eyes down to somewhere under his ears. A smattering of red-blonde hair stood up in streaky spikes off of the highway sized forehead, doing little to disguise the acreage.

  “Who’s you?” the voice continued, drawing her to finally take in more of the face of what looked like a teenage boy. It wasn’t unpleasant, but it wasn’t handsome either. The nose was rounded at the bridge while the tip came to a hard point. His cheeks sagged from low bones, but the skin was clear and smooth. Certainly smoother than hers. Perhaps oddest of all were the boy’s lips — they were both of the same size and as thick as her pinkie finger. She’d never seen such fat lips on a boy before. Or even many girls.

  Not getting an answer, the stranger eased closer towards Hayley. His shrewd eyes darted down from her face over her body. She felt an urge to curl up and hide her body, but he smiled wide, “Ah, you’d be our knight’s newest pissboy. Sorry, pissgirl.”

  “That’s squire, thank you very much,” she snarled, snaking her hand back.

  The boy laughed, his cheeks lighting up redder than a sunset. He didn’t seem to have been burnt by the sun, only was cursed with skin that always looked as if he suffered from the slightest flush. “All right, all right,” he held up a hand before yanking off the work glove. “What should I call you, Squire?”

  “Not Hayseed,” Hayley sneered, her arms folding tight over her chest.

  “Hayseed?” he tipped his head, his lips rising higher in a laugh.

  “I said not—!”

  “Well, Squire Hayseed,” he said without a trace of sarcasm, but she could taste the laughter in the air. He found it all so hilarious. Hayley tried to fume harder, but it didn’t seem to be striking much. “What are you doing here?”

  “How about, who the hell you are first?”

  The boy shrugged as if she’d just have known his name. As if random stable boys were well known throughout the entire kingdom. “Finn,” he said, his naked hand laying flush to the work shirt covered in shed straw.

  “Then I’ll call you…” Crap. Where did you go with Finn? Flint? Finger? Ah, he’s staring at you, say something! “Finn,” she said, unable to stop twitching back and forth at her pathetic comeback. The boy obviously found it hilarious that she was off her game, his tongue sliding along his teeth. He glanced at Hayley’s feet and noticed the saddle she seemed to have thrown onto the floor.

  “Now that the niceties are out of the way, what were you doing in here Squire Hayseed?”

  “I…” She was about to tell him to mind his own business when the monstrous creature swung its massive nose towards her. Yelping, she spun away to face the wall.

  Finn inched closer, his head swiveling from the paralyzed girl back to the horse. “What’s the matter?”

  “Horses,” she spat out, her entire face cringing tight. “I don’t like them.”

  “Wha? Don’t like horses?” he drew his hand up the monster’s nose and began to scratch at the white stripe of fur. “How can anybody not like you?” he cooed at the murderous thing as if it was a baby bunny.

  Hayley watched through her fingers as the horse bounced its long nose against the boy’s long forehead. It was…rather sweet. Maybe not the most terrifying. Oh shit! Its unnerving lip scooped around Finn’s hand, seething like a pile of worms while it searched for something. Nope. No, she couldn’t do this.

  “It’s easy. They…they kick,” she shouted from her safe place staring at the wall.

  “Not if you’re careful,” Finn mused, petting the horses twitching side. “Or deserve it.”

  “And they bite.”

  “We all bite,” he said with a laugh, fingers playing with the tuft of hair on the top between the horse’s ears. He kept tugging the horse to aim its unholy eye right at her. As if that was cute. As if she should suddenly swoon at the creature just because it glared at her.

  “I don’t like them,” Hayley insisted, folding her arms tighter and rocking on her heels. She felt her heartbeat throbbing faster against her wrist. It wanted her out of here fast and now.

  Finn picked up a brush from the side and weighed it in his hands. “Maybe you just haven’t had a chance to meet the right horse yet. Ol’ Copper here is the biggest baby you’d ever find. Isn’t that right?” He drew the bristles from the neck of the horse downward. It was either the exactly right or wrong thing, as the horse’s lip suckered onto Finn’s hair and began to pull it up. Hayley cringed deeper, but he laughed it off.

  “Okay,” the brushing paused as he finally noticed how much she didn’t want to be there. “So you don’t like horses. Wonders me why you’re here then.”

  “My knight asked me to saddle his horse,” she said, cringing at the truth.

  “Does he know about your very odd predilection towards hating horses?”

  Hayley eyed up the scrawny stableboy, surprised to hear such a big word from him. “No. I didn’t tell him.”

  “And you don’t know the first thing about saddling horses, neither, I bet,” Finn continued. Without a care for the deadly hooves just inches away, he bent over and picked up the saddle. “You guessed right on this case, but got the order all wrong.”

  With an ease that belied his ropey little biceps, Finn tossed the saddle back onto the stand and yanked an olive green blanket off a pile. “This goes first, but not on Copper. She’s a good girl, but not for the Knight’s needs. Aren’t you, you pretty lady?” he said the last part right at the horse and then bowed so deep you’d think he was greeting a Duchess.

  Stepping lightly through the stable, Finn cracked open a small door to direct Hayley’s attention to a horse as white as moonlight. A handful of black dots decorated its side and up the neck, but the rest was pure silver or spider silk. “Gringolet is Gavin’s horse. G and G, get it,” Finn smiled as if it was a great joke while Hayley stuck out her bottom lip. Sighing, the stableboy brushed down Gringolet’s silky hair, then draped the blanket over all his hard work.

  “Gring here is…proud, very proud. Don’t want to disparage him or his master. Right, buddy?” One of the ears on the horse swung towards Finn as if it was agreeing with him, while the other remained in place. Hayley watched it, wincing at its unnatural twist when she noticed the second ear had a black patch of hair darting off the top like a crest. Seeming to sense unworthy eyes upon it, the horse twisted its head fully to the side to look upon the foolish squire.

  She gulped, feeling the most stripping gaze she’d ever suffered. Priests and magistrates didn’t have the power
of this one horse to rip away all of her layers and plunge right into her rotten heart. It knew. The damn thing knew she didn’t deserve to be here.

  “But,” Finn breezed on past Hayley, shattering her from her staring contest with a horse, “he’s much better than most other knight horses I suffered. They say the horse takes on his master’s turn after a time.” He kept on prattling while hauling the saddle back towards Gringolet.

  “So most knight horses are super focused and full of honor?” Hayley asked.

  Finn paused in his work to stare at her, “You don’t know much about knights, do ya Hayseed?”

  What? What was there to know? They were warriors who fought against various threats. And they wore armor, and fought in jousting matches. They had a code to follow and lots of people looked up to them. There wasn’t much to it. Finn said no more, just shrugged and hurled the saddle up into its proper place.

  She’d sat back, watching with a somewhat disinterested look as Finn did her job for her. Half the time her eye was on the exit in case she needed to take it when she felt something grab at the back of her shirt. As hot saliva dribbled towards her butt, Hayley sprang forward — a shriek building in her throat. Jabbering, a protective hand slapped back to make certain she wasn’t missing any skin when she nearly ran head first into Finn.

  His eyes opened wide in shock, a brown with flecks of green almost distracting Hayley from the horse that tried to take a bite out of her. “What…?” he began, his thick lips forming an O in confusion until he glanced over her shoulder. “Oi, Trevor! Get back into your stall!” he shouted, whipping a kerchief towards the killer horse.

  Hayley couldn’t stop pawing at her back, terrified to feel the flap of skin that’d be left behind when Finn gripped onto her arm. She froze in an instant, their faces mere inches apart. He stared intently into her eyes to assure her, “Don’t worry miss, it’s just Trevor. He says hi with a little chew here and there.”

  “Chew,” Hayley nodded, trying to swallow down her dry throat, “right, nibble here, bite there. Soon there’s nothing left.”