by P. Jameson
“I don’t need soft,” she pleaded, not caring if she sounded as desperate as she felt for him. “I need you. The Monster I knew before, who was only pretending to be bad. Who was really studying me so he could make things better for me someday. I need that. The real you. And the best part? You wanna know the very best part?”
“Tell me.”
“You need me too. And not for something selfish or destructive. You need me because it feels right.”
“Fuck. I do, snowflake. Need you like my next goddamn breath. But I need to own you, your heart. The way you own mine. I need to claim your body with mine. I need to mark you as mine. Make this bond between us concrete and unbreakable. Make forever promises to you, and demand them back in return. And I can’t do that yet.”
A realization punched her in the gut, taking all her air.
“Are… are you afraid of me?”
Monster stiffened. “I’m afraid of nothing, female. Nothing, understand?”
But there was a lie there. She could sense it. He was afraid.
“You shouldn’t lie to me.”
He pressed his lips into a jagged line.
“What is it? What are you afraid of?”
His gaze burned her, but he wasn’t budging. And maybe he even resented her for asking.
“Whisper it in my ear,” she said carefully. “In the basement we used to whisper so Bastian couldn’t hear us.”
Vegas leaned in, tilting her head toward him. Monster pressed her closer, lowering his mouth to her ear and stopping a breath away from her wet skin.
“I’m scared I can’t have what I want.” His voice barely registered. “That I’ll never be good enough for it. That I’m ruined beyond repair and I’ll spend my whole damn life trying to make up for that.”
“What is it you want?”
He hesitated. His fingers digging into her hip told her whatever it was, was hard for him to say out loud.
“Love.”
Her heart raced with his admission. Her poor fierce Monster. Bruised and broken and still wanting the simplest thing. A thing that should come natural from the people around him. Didn’t everyone want to be loved.
She did. She’d always wanted it. From the time she first became aware of what she was. A monster in her own right. An owned thing. With no one to call family. No one to love her.
And no one to love in return.
Now, there was Monster. There was a person who cared about her in ways she couldn’t even accept yet.
It wouldn’t be so hard to love him back. In fact, he made it easy.
Maybe she already did. Maybe when it was pure and true and meant to be, it happened that fast.
She turned her face so she could look into his eyes and curved her palm around his rough cheek. His brows furrowed with shame or frustration or some other emotion he tried to hide.
He could have love.
“Don’t stop trying,” she whispered. “Please.”
His brow softened as he stared down at her.
“Don’t stop. You’re closer than you realize.”
His gaze went all over her face, probably trying to ferret out the truth. But she’d already spoken it.
Determination settled in his expression and it was his sexiest one yet. Determination was what he’d given her that day in the hallway before taking her to see Bastian. Determined was what he’d been when the Alley Cats broke her free of the dungeon.
“Never, female. I’ll never stop with you.” In one strong move, he lifted her to his waist and she wrapped her legs around his hips. “Damn it, I hope you’re ready for this because… it’s happening right. Fucking. Now.”
***
You’re closer than you realize.
That was real on a couple different fronts—his cock ached so bad for a release, for his mate. One stroke of her small hand would have done him in.
But that didn’t make Vegas’s words any less earthshattering.
Monster let them soak into his bones. Let them make him stronger. Softer. Tougher.
Softer could be tougher. His animal had said it before. Weakness could be strength.
Vegas hadn’t said she loved him. But just like before, this hint was all his animal needed to give her everything.
Monster lifted his female from the floor, letting her squeeze her legs around him. She moaned loud in his ear and grinded her pussy against his cock where it bobbed beneath her. Her hot, wet center had his chest rumbling with the sounds of his animal.
He shoved the shower door open and walked with her to the bed, dripping wet, pausing twice to move her along his throbbing erection.
“Yes,” she hissed, eyes wide and beautiful.
She was ready. And if she wasn’t, he’d have to make it up to her. Because he couldn’t say no anymore. He wanted inside her, wanted to feel her wrap all around him. He wanted her scent in his lungs and her taste on his lips and her devotion running through his veins, making his heart beat.
She was life. Vegas was life.
And it was taking too long to get to the goddamn bed.
When he got there, he lowered her down and stood back to look. The vision of her in his bed was better than anything his imagination had conjured. Way the fuck better.
Her jaw-length hair was slicked to her head and still dripping from the shower. Her skin was rosy against his dark sheets. Her long legs rubbed together trying to relieve the ache between them. The peaks of her tits stood alert, waiting for his mouth.
And he was going to keep every promise he’d made to her last night.
He pressed down on top of her, settling at her hips. Couldn’t get between those legs yet. Not yet.
He kissed her, their wet lips slipping together in a way that had his girl moaning into his mouth. His hands roamed, memorizing the silken feel of her skin, her curves, the roundness of her hips.
Mine.
Licking the water away from her skin, he made his way to her first tight nipple and pulled it between his lips. Vegas squealed and jacked up off the bed. Her hands went to his hair tangling deliciously there to keep him close.
“Not going nowhere, mate,” he snarled against her body before continuing his exploration.
She tasted like fresh mint and she smelled like… like a feline. Like panther or cougar.
Monster frowned. Was his scent already imprinting on her?
The idea had his cock throbbing to complete the claiming.
He moved to her other breast, nipping gently along the way and letting the sounds of her pleasure wash over him like fucking ear-candy. His female sounded so good when she was squirming beneath him like this.
“Monster?”
“Hm?”
“I…” Her voice sounded desperate. Sounded lost. Sounded new. “I think… I think I’m… going to…”
“What, snowflake?”
He pulled his gaze up to her lust-drunk one.
He’d done that. Made her look like that. Fuck, it was too much. He wasn’t going to make it inside her like he wanted.
“Come. I’m gonna come.”
His eyebrows shot up.
She was already there? He’d only had his way with her tits, and he wasn’t even done worshipping them.
But she shifted her hips and he realized somehow in the mix of things, he’d put his knee between her legs and their wet bodies were sliding together with enough friction to make this the quickest sex of his life.
Fucking hell. This wasn’t how he’d wanted their first time to be.
She reached up, taking his cock in her grip and stroked him so good his toes went numb.
“Fuck, woman. Vegas, you’re gonna make this too fast.”
But she didn’t stop, and her hands on him felt like pure heaven. Like hellfire burning away his sins and sending him to glory.
He pressed his knee tighter to her wet pussy and she rotated her hips faster.
“I… I… Monster.”
“Do it, female. Give me your—”
Her hand s
queezed him tighter, cutting off the rest of his words as she tensed beneath him, rattling into bliss with a cry that anyone walking by his room could’ve heard.
Let them hear.
Because in the next breath, he roared his own release, thrusting into her hand, spilling onto her hips and legs until they were both a mess.
Fuuuck.
He slowed and she went limp, her eyes closing as a small smile curved her pretty lips. He couldn’t decide if he wanted to kiss it off her face or just stare at it.
Sinking to the bed beside her, he watched, waited, for her reaction.
She twisted her face to him and her smile got even bigger, making his heart flood with relief.
“What was that?”
He dragged a finger over the swell of her breast. They’d fucked that up for sure, but he couldn’t summon an ounce of regret looking at her in his bed, fully pleasured and… happy.
“That had no name, snowflake.”
“I think it does,” she disagreed. “I think it’s called one step closer to freedom.”
“Whose freedom?”
“Ours. Both of ours.”
Monster frowned. “Freedom from what?”
Her eyes did that thing where they beamed, and his wretched heart stumbled a beat.
“Freedom from our fears.”
Chapter Twenty One
Vegas stood in the bedroom, dressed in the new clothes Monster bought her. She pulled the rose he gave her from the bathroom mason jar she used as a vase and held it to her nose to inhale. It smelled like a dream. An actual dream, and it was so unlike anything she’d seen before that she pinched herself every time she picked it up just to make sure all this was real.
Monster.
Romance.
Freedom.
She went still. Every once in a while, icy fingers of fear came over her again. What if this was all a dream. What if she was still passed out in Bastian’s dungeon waiting for Monster to drop her in the river.
He came up behind her, hovering close as he dipped low to kiss the back of her neck and an excited shiver rolled over her skin.
She stared at the rose.
He told her he picked it because it reminded him of them. Dark around the edges but full of possibilities. She liked the way he thought.
“You ready?”
Vegas nodded and put the pretty rose back in its vase.
She’d spent last night sleeping in Monster’s arms and it was the best night of her sad messed-up life.
Mate will make it better.
There it was again. That strange voice in her mind. Like a conscience but louder.
Vegas shook it off and followed Monster to the door. Part of her was anxious for the next time they’d be alone. What new thing would they share this time? Maybe they would only sleep again. Maybe she’d go back under the bed.
The unknown made her fidget and she was glad that Mama Kitty had called the clan and the Dolls together for a dinner. It would give her a chance to see Marlee and Skye and Janet. It was strange not having them around all the time.
And Nyla.
She chewed her lip, thinking about the one they’d left behind. Soon, they would get her free. Soon.
Hold on, Seven.
Monster reached for her hand as they stepped into the hall and made their way to the lounge. She stared at their connection, not able to help the smile that slipped up her cheeks. She liked this. Holding hands.
Another first.
In the lounge, people had gathered. Many she’d seen the very first day. But no sign of the one called Skittles. She hadn’t seen him since arriving.
A new pang of worry for Nyla planted itself in her chest. She prayed Bastian didn’t hurt her. The only thing keeping Vegas from going out of her mind over Seven’s situation was knowing that she was smart enough to beat Bastian at his own game. Given enough time, she would’ve found a way out on her own. Nyla was a survivor.
And Monster promised the clan was going back for her just as soon as they could.
She believed him.
As they entered, men turned to stare. Some of them seemed almost afraid. Others smug. Others confused. And none of them would meet her gaze.
Interesting.
She spotted Marlee and Skye sitting together on a couch. Ratchet leaned against a wall nearby. The one called Smokes waited by a door off to the corner, puffing hard on a cigarette. Vegas guessed it was the bathroom, and Janet was inside. In the corner, Felix straddled a chair, looking like he wanted to eat a puppy.
“Hey there, ugly.” Fang’s low irreverent voice came from behind them, and she twisted to find him approaching. He wore a lazy smile that told her he’d had some booze before dinner. In his hand, was a huge hunk of… ham? He bit off a chunk and grinned at her while chewing. “And ugly’s girl.”
“Don’t call him that,” she snapped. Something inside her reared up at the slight to her man. Even if it was just for fun.
Fang lost his smile but still chewed the ham as he stared at her. “Yes ma’am.” It didn’t even come out sarcastic. Instead, he narrowed his gaze at her. Like he was trying to connect some unknown dots.
Monster cleared his throat. “So. What are we all here for? Do you know?”
“Dinner. Duh.”
“It’s not normal for us to eat together like this.”
“What’s normal these days?” Fang asked, taking another bite out of his ham hunk. “We got females that ain’t here for just a night. We got a fucker who can turn into fire. We ain’t working for the Boss no more. You got a girl to hold your hand… and now Mama wants us having family dinner. It’s the twilight zone, brother. An absolute fucking twilight zone. I’m just along for the ride. And the food of course.”
Monster squeezed her hand tighter, like she might let go. But she wasn’t. It was keeping her steady. It was making her stronger.
Strong enough to tell Fang to shut his mouth if she needed to.
The idea made her grin, and Fang stared at her again.
“You smiling at me?” he asked, looking a little surprised. And then he turned on some icky tone that was probably supposed to be charming. “You know… me and your man… we used to share a lot—”
He was cut off by the force of Monster’s fist to his jaw, and he reeled backwards as the ham chunk flew from his hand. Suddenly Monster was in front of her, hand forgotten, snarling at Fang like he was about to murder him.
“Don’t you fucking dare. I don’t share mine.”
The room seemed to hold its breath, and Vegas sure did. Would this be another brawl like the one her first day here? Was fighting all these guys could do when they were together?
Fang glared at Monster, then looked at her. But she didn’t want him. Or any other man. Only Monster. The one who cared so much for her. Who was careful and tender when no one was looking. Who was art on the outside that only she could see the beauty of.
“Fucker,” Fang muttered, shrugging his shoulders like he was releasing some string of tension. “I was only going to share my ham.”
“Bullshit,” Monster growled.
Fang stared at it forlornly where it landed on the floor. “Now look at it. You ruined it.”
“Five second rule,” Ratchet drawled from nearby and it drew a few snickers.
Fang shook his head sadly. “Naw. Five second rule don’t work on this floor. This floor’s seen too many sins.” He looked back at Monster. “You defiled my ham, ugly… I mean… asshole.”
This time most of the room laughed, and the hostility bled from Monster’s shoulders. Vegas reached for his hand again and he grabbed on like she was his anchor.
And he was hot, she noticed. Hot like it nearly burned to touch him. But not quite.
“All right, all right. Break it up, boys.” Mama Kitty’s voice rose above the tense scene as she approached, staring at the ham on the ground. “Good thing we got more where that came from.”
She lifted her anxious gaze to Vegas and went eerily still. Her eyes snag
ged on a spot just below Vegas’s collarbone, and she realized her new shirt had slipped to the side, off her shoulder, to reveal her scar.
Quickly, she shrugged the shirt back up, but Mama didn’t stop looking. Blink after blink went by until Monster stepped in front of Vegas once again.
“I uh… I called you all here for a reason,” Mama said slowly. “I was going to wait until we’d eaten. But I think it’s time I came clean. There’s… well, there’s something I need to say. Something that will change everything for the clan.”
“What are you talking about, Mama?” Felix snapped, moving from his dark corner to the center of the room.
“Just listen to what I have to say, okay? And then you can do what you want with me.”
Monster frowned hard.
Felix stiffened.
Even Fang looked suddenly serious.
“Floor’s yours, Mama,” Felix sneered, his eyes already angry for whatever she was going to confess.
Mama took a deep breath and Vegas recognized the last plea for courage. She’d pulled it from her own chest many times.
“A long time ago, I made a choice to stay, when Thomas and the rest of you were young. When I realized how evil the Fathers were, and that they wanted to make you like them… I knew I couldn’t leave you all to your own. I knew you needed me. And I couldn’t… I couldn’t leave Thomas.”
Vegas’s stomach clenched, remembering the things she’d read in Monster’s journal.
“But there were also female cubs, you know? Females born into the clan that the Fathers didn’t want. And there were other mates aside from me. They had nothing, no hope of making it here in this clan that bred cruelty like it was a business. I had to do something. There were females…”
Her voice broke on the last syllable.
“Mama,” Ratchet spoke up, pushing off the wall. “What the hell is this?”
“The females. There are no females in this clan… because of me.”
“The hell?” Fang murmured, his ham hunk forgotten.
“It started with just a few. Ones with only female young. I helped them sneak out, helped them get new identities. Found them a new place in the world to hide. I learned that the Fathers didn’t care much about losing daughters. Cared even less about their mates. They only wanted us for reproducing. But then…” Her desperate gaze went to Fang and regret so pure washed over her expression. “But then one tried to make it free with a son and a daughter.”
