A Game Changer

by Nikky Kaye

  Activity swirled around us like a sandstorm in the desert, and all too quickly we were left in the waiting room as they rushed Payton to surgery. A nurse told us where to wait, and my knees felt like they were going to give out if I didn’t find a chair. Zach paced in front of us as Anderson sat beside me, glued to his phone.

  About ten minutes into our wait, someone came into the room. We all looked up with anticipation, only to be glared at by the woman from the field. Her sunglasses masked her expression, but her glossy lips were set into a thin line and she marched in like she owned the place.

  “Zachary!”

  I flinched as she said Zach’s name. When she slapped him, I sprang to my feet and stared at them in shock.

  “You have a daughter? You never told me you had a daughter!”

  “What the hell, Camille?” Zach said, glaring at her.

  “What do you mean, ‘what the hell, Camille’? You’re the one who didn’t tell his girlfriend that he had a daughter. When were you planning on telling me, Zach? Before or after I moved to Denver?”

  Her head whipped around to take in her audience, and it was only then that I recognized who she was—sultry Latina movie starlet Camille Mendez. She had a reputation for melodrama, on and off the screen, but men panted after her regardless. Including Zach Pennington, apparently.

  “Are you the kid’s mother?” she said, sneering at me. “Oh god, Zachary, did you even get that kid’s blood tested? She might not even be yours. I mean, look at this girl. She might have fucked you just to trick you into supporting another man’s child.”

  “Hey!” Now Anderson was on his feet beside me, and my head reared back as though she’d slapped me, as well.

  Compared to her, I was nothing.

  Compared to her beauty, her fame, her personality and lifestyle, I was nothing.

  I was merely Payton’s nanny and if she was Zach’s girlfriend, like she said she was, then I had… nothing.

  All I could do was stare at Zach, knowing that my heart’s pain was reflected in my eyes. I felt numb, unsure of what I was supposed to do or say. I heard Anderson say Zach’s name, and I think he took my hand.

  I cleared my throat and sniffed deeply to hold my tears in as I met Camille’s contemptuous assessment head-on.

  “I’m Payton’s nanny,” I said, my voice hoarse.

  Camille raised an eyebrow, looking between me and Zach. “Oh, that’s priceless. Zachary, please tell me you haven’t been fucking the help. I’m willing to forgive a lot of things—obviously—but leading this poor, dumb girl on…” She clucked her tongue, whether in sympathy for me or disdain for him, I wasn’t sure.

  “Camille!” I heard Zach’s voice but couldn’t take my eyes off his fiery girlfriend.

  She pinned me in place with a curled lip. “Sweetheart, he’s out of your league. Just… don’t even bother trying.” She lowered her voice, like she was sharing a secret with me. “You’re embarrassing him.”

  So, it was sympathy for him and disdain for me.

  “Camille, that’s enough,” he snapped.

  “Jesus, Zachary,” she groaned, “why didn’t you just give her money? Or get her to terminate? Now we’re going to have to deal with this!” She stomped her foot on the worn linoleum, her stiletto briefly threatening to skid underneath her. “And I’ve got a four-month shoot coming up!”

  Then she turned to me, her lips pouting with fake sincerity. “I’m sorry he led you on like this. But whatever he promised you—”

  “He didn’t promise me anything,” I said quietly. “And you’re right. He is out of my league, and I’ve known that from the start. I… made a mistake.”

  I spun around and dashed out of the room like I needed emergency surgery myself. I heard Zach calling my name angrily behind me, but I got to the exit before he could catch up. When I emerged into the parking lot, I looked around for a bus stop sign or something.

  I couldn’t breathe. I could feel pieces of my heart falling off and shattering.

  Oh, I’d been so wrong. This was so much worse than any other heartbreak. I was losing Payton and Zach, and I had nobody to blame but myself. And Payton wasn’t even conscious. I swayed when I thought of her alone on the operating table upstairs.

  “Emma!”

  Anderson was panting by the time he finally reached me. “Emma, c’mon, don’t leave like that.”

  I shook my head. “No. I messed up, Andy. This is my fault. I shouldn’t have slept with Zach. I shouldn’t have fallen in love with him. I can’t do this.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I’m quitting,” I whispered, knowing that the two words hurt me more than Zach’s lies because it meant that I wouldn’t see Payton again.

  “Emma, what about Payton? You can’t leave her.” Andy tried to reason with me, tried to talk some sense into me, but I was too filled with pain and heartache to think straight. “Emma, just listen, okay? I can explain everything about Camille.”

  I shook my head, refusing to be fed more lies. Anderson was Zach’s assistant and even though he was my friend, his loyalty should still be to his boss.

  “No, Andy. It’s okay. I shouldn’t have hoped. This is where hope leads us to anyways. It always leads to heartbreak and who am I kidding? Camille’s right. Zach’s way out of my league. I’m just another good lay for him.”

  The bus arrived and I turned to it, waving at the driver to tell him that I just needed a moment. I looked back to Andy.

  “I’ll get my things at the house and then I’ll be out of your hair before you even know it. If Payton looks for me…”

  I paused, trying to compose myself. This would break Payton’s heart, but I couldn’t stay with the knowledge that she’d be living in the crossfire of tension and drama between Zach and me. Once again, I hated myself for crossing the line knowing that this would affect Payton too.

  “Tell her that I love her and that I’ll visit her in her classes sometimes but I’m sorry, I can’t take care of her anymore.” A tear rolled down my cheek. “You can settle everything with the agency, Andy. I’ll give them the heads up and let them know that the conflict was on my end. And I guess this is goodbye.”

  Zach

  My head was spinning so hard I thought I’d throw up.

  Nothing today made sense.

  Camille came to Denver, which was something that I never truly expected from her. I broke it off with her before Dean even died and I thought I’d been firm about it this time. And I thought that since I came to Denver, she wouldn’t have the chance find me and throw herself at me.

  Back in Florida, Camille had been my on and off girlfriend. She was more off than on, in the past year. Sometimes I’d tire of her and then I’d break it off, or sometimes she’d find me locking lips with a girl I met at a club or a fan willing to throw herself at me for a one-night stand. But even after all of those things, Camille always came back. She’d date other guys, but in the end, she always came back to me. And I to her.

  It was fun when I was back in Florida. She was like an on-call lay when I didn’t feel like going out. But it was different now. I was different now.

  It was different because I had Emma. And Payton.

  Finally, the doctor came to talk to us about Payton’s surgery. When he appeared in the doorway, I recognized him as the same one who broke the news to me about Dean’s condition. The sight of him made my heart ache, my worry for my niece getting ten times worse. I pushed past Camille, blatantly ignoring her.

  He looked at me and gave me a nod of acknowledgment. “Hello, Mr. Pennington.”

  “How’s my niece?”

  When I said the word niece, I heard Camille gasp behind me. No matter how furious she was, it was nothing to how much I wanted to slap her upside the head.

  She caused a scene for nothing. She demeaned Emma for nothing. I wanted to scream at her earlier when Emma ran off but right then the doctor appeared, and I needed to know that Payton was alright before I went to search for Emma and explain ev
erything to her.

  “She’s in good condition. We were able to reduce the hematoma. Still in recovery and unconscious, but she’ll be fine, Zach,” he assured me. “We’re watching her for concussion symptoms, but she can probably go home tomorrow. But no more football without a helmet,” he said with a gentle smile. The fact that he was joking filled me with true relief.

  “Can I see her?” I asked.

  He nodded. “Yes. I’ll have someone come and tell you when they’re transferring her to a room. In the meantime, I’m sure you probably have some more forms to fill out for Admitting.”

  Camille didn’t like being ignored, but that’s what happened for the next hour. Honestly, I was surprised that she hung around that long. I probably should have told her to leave, but I couldn’t care enough to bother.

  I got to Payton’s room as they were just wheeling her in, so I stood back and let them do their job. Once in the bed, she looked so small and pale. I couldn’t help but think about the last time I saw her in a hospital bed, when our worlds had just fell apart.

  “Oh, sweets.” I sank onto the chair beside my niece, reaching for her hand. I laced my fingers with hers, mindful of her IV line. “You scared the shit out of me,” I murmured.

  When Anderson returned, Emma wasn’t with him. “Where the fuck have you been?” I snapped at him.

  He frowned at Camille, who was standing on the other side of the room looking uncomfortable.

  My eyebrows furrowed. I knew that what Camille had said to her had stung, but I thought she was stronger than that. I expected her to bounce back and ignore Camille’s bitchiness, because Payton was hurt and Payton was the one who mattered.

  “Where’s Emma?” I asked him.

  He looked at me helplessly and shrugged, but there was a hardness in his eyes that I’d never seen before.

  Camille snorted. “Why are you looking for the nanny, anyways? The kid has nurses now.”

  I closed my eyes and rubbed my palm against my face. “Why are you still here, Camille?”

  I heard the click of her heels on the floor and opened my eyes to see her sashaying over to me, batting her lashes.

  “Because we belong together, Zach,” Camille said, perching on my lap and wrapping her arms around my neck like a snake. “I realized that what I feel for you is true and sure and that I would never feel that way about anyone else.”

  Ha! I knew her game. Her latest rendezvous didn’t work out, and now she needed someone who would accept her with open arms and make her feel she was wanted. I’d never been one for relationships, but I playacted well with Camille, pretending I cared when I didn’t.

  I shook my head and pushed her off of me, laughing at her humourlessly. “God, Camille, I know you’re not really this stupid. I’m done with this, okay?”

  “You’ve said that before,” Camille reminded me, staring right into my eyes, “but the moment you see me naked, you throw me on the bed and fuck me.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Because you come into my apartment wearing nothing beneath your coat. But I’m not that man anymore, Camille. And watch your fucking language around Payton.”

  My heart began to beat double-time as Payton began to stir. Camille squawked as I stood up suddenly, grabbed her wrist and dragged her out of the room before Payton saw her.

  She pulled her arm roughly out of my grasp and rubbed her wrist. “What did that kid do to you? You’ve changed.”

  “Yeah, I have. That kid is my family. We need each other,” I told Camille. “Look, I’m sorry I ever agreed to play this game with you. I’m sorry for making you think that you always have someone to come back to with me, but I’m done.”

  “But you—”

  “I’m done. I’m done with the game, I’m done with your dramatic crap, and I’m done with you.”

  I knew that my words stung but I could only hope that it got through to her. She could’ve stripped off her clothes in front of me in public and not care, as long as she got my attention.

  “Camille, please. My niece needs me. She needs a father and I’m that person for her.”

  “You could be her father and you could still be my man.”

  I smiled sadly at her. “That’s the thing. I’m also someone else’s man.”

  Camille stood dumbfounded in front of me and I sighed. “I didn’t think I’d fall in love, Cam. Trust me—I liked the playboy games. And you’re right, I could continue fucking girls and be the father that Payton needs, but right now I simply want to be her father and be someone’s man. No games.”

  “Who?” Camille seethed, her eyes narrowing. “The nanny? You want to be with her? Oh, for God’s sake, Zachary, you are way out of her league!”

  I rolled my eyes. “Actually, she’s way out of my league. And if you value your fame, I suggest you leave now. Anderson’s probably calling TMZ right now.”

  Camille scoffed, but I saw her eyes widen with alarm. “Don’t expect that I’m gonna accept you when you come crawling back to me.”

  “I’m counting on it,” I replied. “Goodbye, Camille.”

  I watched to make sure that she really left, then went back to Payton’s room to find her awake and crying. I rushed to her side. “Sweets, how are you feeling?”

  Payton looked at me with her big brown eyes brimming with tears. “Where’s Emma? I want Emma!”

  I looked at Anderson, who looked like he didn’t know what he was going to do. I remembered he chased after Emma while I tried to handle Camille and waited for the doctor to tell me about Payton’s condition.

  Anderson looked at me and then nodded at the door. I turned to Payton. “Give me and Andy a minute, okay? I’ll find out where Emma is.”

  The two of us headed out of the door and I crossed my arms, looking at him. “Where is she?”

  “She went home to pack her things,” Anderson told me in a defeated voice. “She says she’s done, Zach.”

  “What does you mean, she’s done?” I asked. What was he even talking about?

  “I don’t know!” Anderson said. “Look, if you rush now, you might still find her there. She took the bus to get there and I know that the ride there must take her half an hour. Get there quick, Zach, and try to talk her out of it.”

  I was ready to run to the exit when Anderson called my name again. I stopped and turned to him. “What?”

  “She told me she’s in love with you,” Anderson said, a small smile on his face. “I thought you should know. And here are the keys. Might help you out.”

  It was as if something was switched on inside of me. I sprinted to the hospital parking lot and found the minivan in less than five minutes. I drove to the house at top speed, praying to whatever god who was listening that I would still find Emma there.

  My prayers were answered.

  The moment I parked the car, Emma came out of the house.

  I rushed to her. “Emma!”

  She hesitated, her eyes red and puffy. She had been crying. Why had she been crying? Did she honestly believe Camille’s lies?

  I held her face in my hands, staring straight into the beautiful blue eyes that I’d fallen in love with. She looked away and placed a hand on mine, pushing mine away weakly.

  “Emma, don’t go.”

  It was all I could think of saying. I could’ve told her I’d fallen in love with her, but I didn’t know how. I didn’t know what I was supposed to say or how to even start the confession. All I wanted was for her to stay.

  “You can’t go.”

  But she shook her head. “I’ve had enough of this, Zach.”

  “Enough of what? Of me and Payton?”

  She looked at me, her eyes sad and defeated. “What am I to you?”

  What did she mean? She was the girl I was in love with. But my mouth refused to open and my voice suddenly disappeared. All I could do was stare at her as she closed her eyes and looked down.

  “Camille was right. We don’t… fit together, and I shouldn’t have crossed the line. It was unprofessional of me,�
� she choked out. “It’s all my fault.”

  “No, it’s not. Look, Emma, just put your things back in the house and we’ll talk about this, okay?” I said, trying to reason with her.

  She shook her head. Damn it, why was she being so stubborn? Didn’t she know she belonged here with us?

  “I don’t want you to go. Payton doesn’t want you to go. She was crying when she woke up and you weren’t there.”

  “Payton’s a strong girl. She’ll get through this,” Emma said, trying to sound convincing. I wasn’t sure who she was convincing though—me or her. Payton may be stronger than both of us put together, but what about me? I needed her.

  But I didn’t know how to say it.

  I reached out to take her hand in mine, looking at our fingers entwined together. Dean always told me that Maggie completed him, like his whole life had begun as pieces of puzzles that he had tried to piece together unsuccessfully—until Maggie came along with the missing piece. Dean told me that was what love felt like.

  Emma completed me too. I just didn’t know how I was supposed to tell her that.

  I squeezed her hand tightly in mine. “I want you to stay.”

  When she looked at me, I saw a war being waged inside her. She wanted to stay. I could see it in her eyes and feel it in her touch. What was stopping her?

  “Give me a reason, Zach.”

  I could have said that I was in love with her at that moment. I should have professed my feelings for her right then and there.

  Emma looked away again and pulled her hand from my grasp. She adjusted her bag on her shoulders and looked down at her feet.

  “I love Payton, Zach. I would still like to see her some time, even if I’m no longer her nanny,” she said, her voice cracking. “I’ll make sure you get a good nanny for her, Zach.”

  She grabbed her luggage and walked past me. I stood still, my heart racing as though I was playing the last down of a tied game—only that felt like it would be easier to win.

  All I needed to do was confess, to turn around and tell her how I felt about her. So what if everyone I loved, I ended up losing? Wasn’t there a poem or something about that being a good thing? I wasn’t under a curse, so why was I acting like admitting I love someone was like a death knell?