The One

by Danielle Allen

  “And we are finally all alone.” I pushed his leather jacket off of his shoulders and it fell down his arms.

  He pulled at my hair tie, letting the mass of curls fall wild and loose around my shoulders. “Let’s get out of these clothes…” His fingertips massaged into my scalp and my head fell into his skillful motion. With my neck exposed, he trailed kisses from my collarbone to my ear. Biting down gently on my earlobe, he whispered, “And I can run you a bath…”

  I moaned, twisting so our lips would meet again. I moved my body against his in a way that I’d wanted to all day.

  “I can massage your exhaustion away,” he groaned between kisses. His hands palmed my ass, pulling me into his growing erection.

  Easing out of the kiss with a breathless giggle, I gazed up at him. “We may need to change the bath to a shower so we can take care of this,” I breathed, running my hand between us, against the front of his pants. “I haven’t seen him all day and he’s been on my mind.”

  Julian’s eyes were closed as he groaned, pressing his forehead against mine. I watched the way he raked his bottom lip between his teeth in response to my touch. My fingers flexed against his girth and I let my fingernails scrape against the material of his jeans. He sucked in a sharp breath and my heart raced.

  “Zoe...” His voice was low, needy. “The things you do to me.”

  “Julian, I feel the exact same way.”

  He opened his eyes and when they locked with mine, it was as if all the air in the room had been sucked out. My stomach swirled and fluttered. The mail under my left arm slipped a little as my body relaxed.

  “I love you.”

  “And I love you.”

  We kissed sweetly, the desire taking a backseat to the genuine love and affection that we felt for one another. With his recording schedule and my study schedule, our relationship wasn’t always easy, but it was always worth it. Even if our schedules weren’t, our love was the one thing that was consistent over the last nine months.

  “I’ll go put the bags away and get the water started.” Julian dropped one more kiss against my lips before walking over to our luggage.

  “I’m right behind you.”

  I pulled the mail from under my arm and thumbed through it out of habit. I was about to drop everything onto the coffee table so I could reconvene with my boyfriend in the shower when one of the last letters in the stack caught my eye.

  “Julian!” I screamed before I realized words had left my mouth.

  He was by my side in seconds as I stood surrounded in a sea of white and tan envelopes at my feet.

  My hands shook slightly as I tried to get the one remaining envelope open.

  “It’s okay,” Julian whispered gently, taking it out of my hand. He slid his finger under the flap and opened it seamlessly. “Here you go.”

  I looked at the envelope in his hand and then I looked back into those gorgeous, grey eyes. “I want you to read it to me.”

  Good news or bad, he’ll make it okay. And if it’s bad news, he’ll help me figure out how to fake my death so my parents will never find out.

  I smiled at my own joke and without any clue as to what I was thinking, Julian smiled right back at me as if he heard everything word for word and thought it was funny.

  I fell more in love with him in that moment. It just highlighted how much peace Julian Winters brought to me and my life.

  “Ready?” He asked as he pulled the tri-folded letter out.

  I nodded with my eyes closed, gripping the front of his shirt.

  “Congrat—”

  Pushing myself up onto my toes, I crashed my lips against his.

  He dropped the letter and cradled my head in his hands, his fingers tangling in my hair. I didn’t resist as his lips moved over mine powerfully, emotively. I may have initiated the kiss, but he took complete control of it. If I kissed him in excitement and celebration, he kissed me back with pride and adoration. I felt simultaneously like the winner and the prize.

  He pulled out of the kiss slowly, still hovering millimeters away. “I’m so proud of you,” he whispered, our lips meeting again. “I love you.” Another kiss. “Go call your mom.”

  I smiled dreamily as the butterflies danced in my belly. This is perfection.

  With all of our flaws and annoying habits, through the arguments, the time apart, the stress, Julian and I together were perfection. I never knew perfection before him because I didn’t know him.

  “I love you. Thank you for believing in me.”

  He kissed me again before letting my face go and slapping me on my ass. “Now make the call.”

  I laughed as I scrambled to dig my phone out of my bag. I scrolled to my parents’ number quickly.

  After the first ring, I grew even more excited. “Pick up, pick up, pick up,” I mumbled as I paced across the room. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Julian picking up all of the mail scattered on the floor and pretending not to be watching my every move.

  After the second ring, I grew anxious. What if I have to wait to tell them the news? Ugh. That would suck.

  After the third ring, I grew disappointed. Oh no! I really might have to wait to tell them the news! And I don’t want to call one and the other not be available because then that one would feel slighted. They both—

  “Hello?” My mom’s voice, slightly breathless, cut through my rambling thoughts.

  “Mom!” I shouted as I stopped in my tracks. “Oh my God!”

  “Zoe! Zoe, what is it? Are you okay? Did you and Julian make it back okay? Did something happen?”

  Elise Jordan was ready to handle things at the first sign of trouble and I loved it.

  Laughing, I apologized. “No, I’m sorry to scare you. I just didn’t think you and Dad were home so when you answered, I got excited because I really want to tell you both something at the same time.”

  “Oh no, we’re just on the deck. Your father is cooking on the grill because it’s a beautiful seventy degrees today. The final few days of November and it’s like summertime.”

  “Virginia weather,” I replied with a shake of the head. “I don’t miss that.”

  “One second, sweetheart. Zachary! Pick up the phone! The ribs will be fine.” She laughed. “If they are overcooked in the time it takes you to pick up the cordless phone in the kitchen then they would’ve been overcooked anyway.” She laughed again. “No and why would the lottery call you since you don’t play? It’s your daughter.”

  “You should’ve just said it was Zoe to begin with, Elise,” Dad joked playfully in the background.

  Just hearing their back and forth made my heart smile. I looked over at Julian and his eyes were fixated on me. Seated on the couch, he smiled as he tapped his pen against our notebook. Julian and I each had individual poetry notebooks, but we also had one that we shared. We’d write poetry to each other back and forth and pass the notebook every time we were leaving each other for more than twenty-four hours. Seeing our notebook made me a little sad because that reminded me of his upcoming trip to New York.

  I miss him already.

  “Zoe, you have us both and you have our undivided attention,” my dad’s booming voice announced, interrupting my thoughts.

  “Well, I just wanted you two to know that I officially passed the California State Bar Examination!”

  “Congratulations!” My parents yelled in unison.

  After fifteen minutes of rereading the entire letter to them twice and then going over how the test felt to me before, during, and after taking it, they were ready to let me off of the phone. My father hung up first after telling me how much he loved me and how proud he was of me. My mother waited until after Dad had hung up to say the same and then to add that she knew that I had nothing to worry about.

  “I was scared that I wouldn’t pass and I wouldn’t live up to you and your legacy,” I admitted, no longer feeling the weight of that burden on me.

  “Zoe,” Mom sighed. “The world doesn’t need another Elise Jordan
, Esquire. The world needs a Zoe Jordan, Esquire. Better yet, a Zoe Jordan-Winters, Esquire.” She giggled as I stifled mine, trying not to feed into the lunacy. “I made you an original, sweetheart, not a copy of me. Now go out there and show the world who Zoe Jordan is.”

  My eyes watered as I thanked her. After an exchange of I love yous, I put the phone to my chest and blinked back tears.

  I spent the months leading up to the February bar exam panicked because I thought I would fail at being Elise Jordan, who was the most amazing woman and lawyer ever. I allowed that pressure to cause me to freak out at the thought of not passing the bar and how that would reflect on my entire future and the life I planned for myself, the life my parents worked so hard to support. I allowed myself to freak out at the thought of passing the bar and still not measuring up to the woman or the lawyer that I called mom. More than that, I convinced myself that the disappointment and embarrassment my parents would feel when they realized that the straight-A, overachieving child they raised couldn’t hack it as a woman in the real world. I allowed myself to react based off of scenarios my mind created that weren’t even probable, seeing as how my parents never made me feel bad about anything I’ve attempted to achieve.

  But that momentary lapse in judgement, that irrational freak out moment, that completely out of character quarter-life crisis, led to the best year of my life. My meltdown started a series of events that changed my life for the better in ways I didn’t even know were possible.

  I looked up at Julian as he made his way over to me.

  “Everything okay?” He inquired, lifting his eyebrows.

  “Everything is perfect.”

  *****

  Julian’s Journal Entry

  I Want To, a poem

  ((a poetic collaboration by Brittainy C. Cherry & Danielle Allen))

  I want to make love to your soul.

  All at once, I want in.

  To start from your bottom lip and ease down to your neck,

  To feel you curve your spine against my fingertips.

  I

  Want

  You

  To

  release your fears through your hips.

  I

  Want

  You

  To

  find forever against my lips.

  Then I pause, and remember the truth:

  You’re missing me, just as I’m missing you.

  But tonight

  I

  Want

  You

  To

  release the doubt that distance creates

  I

  Want

  You

  To

  find me in my dreams before we wake

  to see that no miles, no time, no conscious state

  can prevent our love from finding a way.

  Zoe’s Journal Entry

  Your love, my love

  Your love…

  It doesn’t just set it.

  It eases in slowly.

  It slips through the cracks.

  It burrows in deep.

  It doesn’t just set it.

  It races in quickly.

  It bursts through the cracks.

  It scorches everything in its wake.

  It doesn’t just set it.

  It burns.

  It aches.

  It hurts.

  It infiltrates.

  It overwhelms.

  It doesn’t just set in.

  It takes over.

  It takes over.

  It takes…

  Over.

  Unaired Finale Footage

  Leah stood in the vineyard, her pink gown popping against the lush green bushes and land surrounding her. The sunlight made the honey undertone of her skin glow. Her wavy light brown hair was perfectly positioned over her shoulder as she gazed at the limo that pulled up almost ten minutes prior. Her nervousness was evident even though she seemed to be doing everything in her power to play it cool.

  Leah looked directly at the camera and flashed a smile. Her eyes shifted slightly to the left and through clenched teeth, she asked, “What’s happening? What’s taking so long?”

  “It’s probably a long commercial break or maybe they cut to the women in the studio. Just be patient and smile,” a man’s voice could be heard off camera instructing her.

  The camera zoomed in, highlighting the tension in her face.

  “Would you like a glass of wine?” The same man’s voice could be heard as he offered her a beverage.

  Leah nodded and her hand shook slightly as she touched her hair. “Yes. Thank you. Your best white. Riesling.” She fidgeted and her eyes darted in the direction of the limo again. “And not from California. It’s too sweet and doesn’t have enough acidity for balance.”

  Moments later, a woman with a clipboard and a headset rushed the glass to Leah.

  “Thank you,” she said, taking the stem of the glass between shaky fingers. She sipped. “No, no.” Pouring out her wine into the grass, she turned and looked at someone off camera. “This is too sweet. Way too sweet. Is this Moscato? Because I asked for Riesling. Do you even know the difference? I would think being at a winery you’d be able to get that simple task right.”

  “We’re still rolling, Leah,” the man reminded her as she handed the empty glass off.

  Turning to face the camera, Leah’s perfectly poised smile returned. She held her pose for only sixty seconds before it broke with relief and exuberance.

  The front door of the limo opened and the driver stepped out. Wearing all black, he adjusted his hat and then made a show of walking over to Leah. Holding out his arm, he greeted her.

  “Hello Leah. I’m Benny.”

  She beamed at him as she squealed, “Hi Benny!”

  “Mr. Winters asked me to escort you to the limo. Is that alright with you, young lady?”

  “It most certainly is!” She looked at the camera and winked. “I knew it.”

  Hooking her arm with the older man, the camera caught the shift in her demeanor from anxious to confident as she strutted across the vineyard. Leah allowed herself to be escorted to the back door of the limo.

  “Wait, wait, wait,” she hissed as Benny reached for the door handle. “How do I look?”

  “Beautiful, young lady,” he answered kindly.

  “Obviously. But do I look worried? I want him to know that I was calm.”

  Benny didn’t answer as he opened the door.

  Leah peeked in and then stood up straight, looking around in confusion. “It’s empty? Where is he?”

  “Mr. Winters wanted you to know that he appreciated you being on the show. You will be chauffeured back to the mansion with a token of Mr. Winters’ appreciation and his warm regards.” Benny pointed and the camera zoomed in on a basket of imported wines and cheeses that sat in the backseat.

  Leah’s face started turning a deep shade of crimson. “What?”

  Benny took a couple of steps back. “Mr. Winters wanted—”

  Leah looked at the camera and then beyond it. “Did you all know about this? You let me stand here like an idiot and get stood up. I am beautiful, cultured, worldly, and far more intelligent than any of the other women in the house. And he chose that imbecile over me! Over me?!”

  She let out a scream that caused a few crew members to come into the frame to try to calm her down.

  “Don’t touch me!” She snapped angrily, ripping her arm out of a woman’s grasp. “I want to get my shit and meet my family in Paris. I missed a gala at The Louvre to be runner up to someone who can’t even spell Louvre.”

  Leah got into the limo and slammed the door shut.

  One of the producers opened the door. “Leah, we need to debrief with you—”

  “I’m not doing any interviews!” She interrupted, glaring at them and the camera. “I have nothing else to say. I could be a lot of things, but Julian wanted a dumb bitch and that’s just something I’m not.”

  “Bailey isn’t who he chose,” someone
off screen offered, causing the two producers on screen to shoot daggers from their eyes.

  They glared for a solid ten seconds before turning back toward Leah.

  “What? If you tell me he went back for that low budget bartender…”

  Although the producers’ backs were to the camera, the way they looked at her must have confirmed what she was asking.

  “I’m done.” Pulling the door shut with force, the producers jumped back.

  One of them walked out of the camera range with his cell phone in hand.

  Benny looked perplexed as he slowly made his way to the front of the vehicle and climbed in.

  The last shot of the vineyard showed the limo pulling away as the gift basket was heaved out of the window. Before the screen went black, a low whistle could be heard in the background. “Wow.”

  ***

  Bailey walked down the pier with her blue gown blowing in the wind and her sleek bun pinned in place on the top of her head as she listened to the limo driver explain Julian’s absence. The ocean provided her sun-kissed skin and bright blue eyes with the perfect backdrop. Although she was from the Mid-West, Bailey looked like the quintessential California girl.

  “So, Peter, you’re telling me that Julian went to the studio to get Zoe,” Bailey inquired as the driver paused at the back door of the limo.

  “Yes, but Mr. Winters sends his regards and his appreciation for you appearing on the show. He asked me to give this to you.” Opening the door, Peter gestured inside. “He said that he hopes that your turn in the hot seat proves to be as successful as his.”

  The camera only caught a glimpse of what was in the limo before Bailey jumped into the old man’s arms, hugging him tightly. “Peter! What else did he say?”

  Letting out a jolly giggle, Peter said, “There should be a note under the flowers and balloons.”

  Scrambling into the limo, the camera zoomed in on Bailey as she read the note. She put the small square piece of paper to her chest and let her head fall back onto the leather seats.

  “What does the note say Bailey?” A woman inquired from just outside the limo door.