Sunshine & Whiskey

by R. L. Griffin

  “I’ll leave you two, I need to get my number,” I say as I turn to go to the back of the line.

  “Don’t worry Megan, I got you and Laura’s number. You ladies are running with us today.” Magic hands us our numbers. “We’ll help put them on your back.”

  Laura turns around and Max pins hers to her sports tank. I blink and look at Magic man. I know what his name is. It’s my last name, I even once dreamed about if we got married his name would be Walker Walker, and then realized that I had lost my mind because a man doesn’t take the woman’s last name and I’m thinking about us getting married. My mind starts doing a weird spiral thing, and I’m not sure what I’m really thinking about until a touch brings me back to the here and now. I blush as Magic man turns me. I close my eyes and realize I’d gotten his eyes wrong. Magic’s eyes are cloudy like the sky before a snow. In the Tasting Room, I now know the name because we’ve been back several times, I thought they were dark, but today they’re smoky and rare. I’m not sure I’ve seen eyes like his before. He’s really close to me and the thought of his proximity alone has chills sprouting all over my arms. I think I smell his deodorant.

  “Shit, where do I put this?” he asks and then looks where Max put Laura’s number. “Can you hold these?” He holds out safety pins. I extend my hand toward his and his fingertips graze the palm of my hand when he drops the safety pins. It might as well have been him touching my breast, my entire body constricts.

  “Megan, right?” he says too close to my ear as his fingers reach under the back of my tank top. I know he knows my name, what’s he playing at? Then my mind is screaming because his nails graze the skin under my shirt and I’m holding my breath so I don’t answer. He swipes the hair that has fallen out of my ponytail off my back, and I want to run from this gentle caress. Then he smoothes the number down my back with both of his palms and lifts the bottom of my tank to secure another pin. His hand is on the small of my back, and I fight the urge to lean into him. My body is obviously in desperate need of sex. I’ve been abstinent for two months now, and it is coming back to haunt me. A sabbatical for my vagina was definitely needed, however at this time I’m a little worried for my sanity because I want to push this guy on the ground and have my way with him. I totally do not care that there are thousands of people around me.

  I finally release a long breath when his hands come away from my back. “Thanks,” I say.

  “Oh, I was going to put two more on the sides, like Max did.”

  The thought of his hands under my shirt for any longer with his fingers on my back does weird things to me. “I’m good,” I reply, stepping toward Laura and Max. “I’m not that fast, there is no threat of it coming off due to my speed.”

  “Okay.” He shrugs. He pulls on his arm band that has his phone in it and his earbuds are resting around his neck. Even his neck is fucking sexy. He’s got a bit of an unkempt thing going on right now. It’s apparent he hasn’t shaved in a few days, my thighs tingle at the thought of him in between my legs. He clearly didn’t bother combing his hair. Good grief. I must be super horny. I need to work on that.

  Max grabs Laura’s hand and they walk to the starting line. I smile to myself. Max’s number isn’t white like ours, it’s yellow and it reads Victory. I look around again and find myself wiping a tear from my cheek. These people...I can’t…

  “It’s hard, isn’t it?” Magic’s voice reminds me he’s there. “Walking amongst these people who do these amazing things and don’t get the credit they deserve.”

  I nod, not trusting my voice.

  “I run this every year with Max and feel like a total dick.”

  I turn to face him and really look at him. He still oozes sex to me, even in running shorts and a t-shirt that reads “my warrior has one leg.”

  “How did you meet?”

  “High school, we played football together. Then he went off to Iraq and we lost touch for awhile.”

  “Oh yeah, what made you get back together?” I know, I know. Max already told me all this, but I want to hear his version.

  “I came home.” That’s all I get.

  The race starts, I put my earbuds in and the Notorious B.I.G. is rapping to a beat that if I wasn’t running I’d be dancing to, but its hard getting started with all the people bunched up at front. Once it clears out, Max and Laura break from me, which is fine. I’ll find them later, but I notice Magic hasn’t strayed from my side, and I know he can run faster.

  “You can go ahead.” I nudge his arm. He looks at me and takes out an ear bud.

  “What?”

  “You can go ahead, I’ll find y’all when I get to the finish line.”

  “Say y’all again.” He ignores my statement.

  “Y’all?”

  He nods and smiles. It’s the first smile I’ve seen, and it’s like a little explosion goes off in my panties. His teeth are perfect and his lips when he smiles are a little lopsided, he looks younger and fun. Magic looks like an entirely different guy when he smiles, and it makes me want to make him laugh all the time. I want to know this Magic, the one who when he smiles has a few creases at his eyes that show he laughs a great deal.

  “Y’all.” I put my earbud back in and keep running. I let K7 take my mind off my breathing, the bouncing of my boobs, and the man who keeps inadvertently bumping into to me, causing my mind to think about being underneath him.

  The remainder of the race is unremarkable, unless you care that I am red faced and totally disgusting by the time we finish, my red hair matted to my head. How does Magic look? Like he just walked out of some sort of rugged men’s magazine.

  He casually takes my hand as we make our way through the crowd and my heart stops. Actually stops. I’m serious. I almost die. I know it’s just so I don’t get lost in the crowd, but a girl can dream.

  “Megan,” Laura yells from somewhere in the crowd. I look over to my left and find her and Max drinking water and eating fruit at one of the tables lining the finish line. I start laughing. Wait for it. First, you should know that Laura’s eyes go straight to our hands. Then she smirks and makes a show of sticking the remainder of her banana in her mouth. It’s a significant amount of banana, and I see Max swallow hard. He puts his orange slices in his mouth and Magic drops my hand.

  “So bananas are fun,” Laura jokes.

  “Yes, they are,” I agree.

  Max and Magic have stepped a few feet away from us and are talking.

  “You ready to go?” I ask her.

  “Max said something about breakfast, and I thought since we’re in San Francisco we could go by the Golden Gate park. I think they may want to go too?” Her eyes drift to my hand.

  “What?” I know what.

  “Nothing,” she answers and then smirks again. Pulling up her sports tank that she can wear with its flimsy sports bra in it, a flash of jealousy rips through me. I look down at my shirt. I had to wear a sports bra under my tank top with a shelf bra too so the girls wouldn’t hurt anyone, myself included.

  “An 8k is no joke. I need to sit down,” I comment and look for a space on the curb to sit. I grab a pack of orange slices. I don’t eat bananas in public. “You shouldn’t torture him.”

  Laura follows me over to the curb and sits next to me. “I’m harmless.”

  “You’re anything but harmless,” Max comments as they appear where we’re sitting. “Megan, Laura mentioned something about you wanting to help out a bit with the foundation?”

  I nod. My mouth is full.

  “Let me introduce you to a few people, and then we’ll hit the park on the way back to Napa.”

  “Sounds good.” Max grabs my hand to lead me through the crowd. I turn around and stick my tongue out at Laura, but see she and Magic are already thoroughly engrossed in a conversation and she’s not paying attention to me. I’ll have to rub it in her face later.

  Chapter Fifty-Four

  Working On My Shit

  We’re sitting in our runner’s gear at the Beach Chalet i
n the Golden Gate Park and eating brunch. I pull my Victory for Veterans shirt over my tank top when we decide to eat. There are some times boobs should be covered up, eating eggs is one of those times. The conversation is flowing, mainly between Max and Laura, it’s friendly and flirty. I’m sort of in my own head. My mind is spinning with ideas on how I can help the Victory for Veterans Program and when I can get money over to them. Also, I’m pretty quiet until I know people. I don’t really know Max or Magic. Honestly, I’m not sure I want to know Magic, but Max is my hero.

  I clear my throat. “This is probably a totally inappropriate question, but can I ask what happened?”

  Laura is glaring at me, but I can’t help it. I really want to know.

  “I was walking along the road in Baghdad, Iraq, wearing body armor and a helmet looking for IEDs when all of a sudden I was blown back. I woke up in a military hospital in Germany with no leg.”

  “I can’t even imagine,” I sympathize.

  A quiet settles over the table, and it causes me to shift in my seat uncomfortably.

  “It took me several surgeries and years to be okay with everything. I can pretty much do everything I did before. People just look at me funny, you know?”

  “You’re amazing,” I comment. It’s one of those things you say because you mean it, but then it’s sort of embarrassing once it’s out there. I met a few other warriors at the run, and I can’t wait for my money to help them get the training they need to find jobs. I want to help. Somewhere deep down I need to help.

  “He’s being a little glib about his recovery. He had over thirty surgeries, and it took years to find the right leg. I agree Megan, he’s a fucking rock star. I think I would’ve folded.” Magic is matter of fact while looking at me intensely. I don’t know him well enough to know why, and his piercing gaze causes me to look away.

  “I can’t wait to help,” I offer, looking at Laura, hoping she’ll add something to the conversation.

  She doesn’t.

  “We need more people like you Megan, thank you so much.”

  “So you live in Napa, but you fly all over and visit the wounded?” I’m interested in his job with the program.

  “I’m on the road about three weeks out of every month. They use me as a success story I guess.” He shrugs. “I also advise the directors what people need. Give them insight into what I needed to get through it.”

  Laura is pushing her food around her plate.

  “Well, we want to do what we can to help, whatever that may be. You just let me know, right Lo?”

  She smiles a fucking fake smile and nods.

  We leave the park after we explore a little, and Magic tells us about the history. I have to admit the tenseness that simmers between Laura and Max makes the hour after the restaurant really awkward and forces me and Magic to carry the conversation. He’s back to his sober expression, and there is no sign of the guy whose laugh lines make me want to take my top off. I’m attracted to really smart guys and really funny guys, put those together and I cannot resist. Add in the fuck me hair and cloudy eyes and I’m pretty sure it’s a lost cause, but I’ll continue to fight especially since I’ve only caught glimpses of the humor, and I’m trying to be by myself. I think I’m rocking that.

  I’m reflecting on all this as I’m driving back to Calistoga. I roll the windows down and our hair blows around. I turn up the hip hop. After we pass Sausalito, I glance at Laura and turn down the music.

  “What’s got you so fucked up?”

  “I want to fix him.” She doesn’t look at me but keeps her eyes out the passenger window. Her words are swallowed up by the wind, and I think I don’t hear her.

  “What?”

  She finally looks at me. “I want to fix him, Megan. He’s a survivor, but you know what that means?”

  “It means he’s awesome?”

  “It means he’s damaged.”

  “Aren’t we all?” I mean this. Everyone has been damaged by something. Laura’s been damaged beyond repair, but that’s a story for a different day. Simply because someone’s experience is different doesn’t mean it hasn’t damaged their brain, their laugh, their heart.

  “You have no fucking clue what something like that does to a person. He had to kill people over there, Megan.” She runs her hand through her hair. “He lost his leg. He had to rebuild what he thought his life was going to be.”

  “But he did it. He doesn’t need you to ‘fix’ him. He fucking did it himself. He’s a warrior. You’d be lucky to be by his side.”

  “I don’t know…”

  “Stop thinking of it like that, he’s amazing.”

  “I know,” she agrees.

  “He likes you.”

  She nods.

  “So, what’s the fucking problem?”

  She sighs. “I just told you. He…”

  “Lo, you had to rebuild what you thought your life was going to be…”

  “Stop,” her voice is strained as she interrupts me. “I don’t want to go there with him. I think I genuinely want to be around this guy. I really liked Terrence too, then I picked him the fuck apart.”

  “Then you need to work on your own shit.”

  “I know.”

  I look at her, her hair standing straight up and reaching out the window due to the wind. Because she’s wearing no makeup, she looks like she did when we met in college. I know everything about her, but this is new. This fear for something good. When did she become so gun shy with men she really liked.

  “Lo,” I start.

  “Don’t. We’ll see where it goes. I’m not even sure he wants it to go anywhere. I’m going to be working on my shit. You keep your nose out of my shit. You have your own shit.”

  “Okay,” I agree. “I do have some shit…”

  “Everyone’s got shit.”

  “Let’s see how many times we can say shit in the next five minutes and our sentences still makes sense,” I suggest.

  “That’s the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard, but I’ll do that shit.”

  Two Months Worth of

  Shit Happens

  (Nothing really interesting,

  except I did get a disco ball for my bedroom)

  Chapter Fifty-Five

  I’d Rather Have Whiskey

  Guess what? Laura is still here, in California, with me. She’s been on a few interviews in New York, but nothing has panned out so far. Is it wrong that I pray for her not to get jobs? I mean, I tell her that, so it’s not really a secret. Laura and I walk up to a ranch style house a few blocks off the main street in Napa. Max’s house is really close to our office.

  “Are you sure it’s okay if I tag along with you?” I ask Laura. I know Max is making the moves, he’s been persistent. I’m a little self-conscious about being here and him not asking me personally.

  “What do you want, a fucking engraved invitation? He said it was fine.”

  The house is quaint and not what I expected from Max. Before you ask, I have no idea what I expected, but this isn’t it. It reminds me of a cottage that you see in the woods somewhere, except there isn’t a thatched roof. It looks inviting with its red door and black shutters against the beige stucco. I know, they probably don’t have stucco in the woods…I’m just saying it’s cute.

  Before Laura hits the door to knock, Magic opens it with a glass of red wine in his hand. He looks completely edible. I look off to the right as to not be blinded by the sex. Do not look the sex right in the eyes.

  “Hi ladies,” Magic steps back from the door, allowing us to walk through. Laura has a bottle of a red wine she impressed herself with, and I brought Jameson. His eyes go to my bottle of whiskey, then up to me. I look away. LOOK AWAY.

  I don’t look away fast enough because he’s wearing a cream cable knit sweater and navy wool cargo pants. He’s a J. Crew advertisement and I want to throw my panties at him and yell, “Come and Get me!” Don’t worry, I don’t.

  “Megan.”

  I smile at his lips caressing
my name, then I follow Laura into the kitchen. There are five people standing around, and Max is pouring wine in ten different wine glasses.

  “Laura!” His nose is a little red, indicating he’s been in the wine for a few hours. He walks over to her and gives her a bear hug that lifts her feet off the marble floor. “How are you? You look amazing.” He says this last bit into her ear thinking he whispered it, but he didn’t. I like tipsy Max. He raises his eyes to me. “Megan, we’re so glad you could make it to our collection of misfits for Thanksgiving.”

  “Misfits?”

  He straightens up, puts Laura back on the floor, and reluctantly takes his arms away from her. “This is Dave, he’s a staple around these parts. He helps me with anything I need that needs more than one leg. Clara,” he points the top of the bottle in his hand at the woman to the left of Dave with a white bob, “taught me how to cook. I came home and my fiancée decided she didn’t want to deal with a man with one leg, so I needed a little help with the domestic situation. Neil.” Neil waves at me. “He helped me find a house that had one level. When I came back from Germany I lived with my former fiancée in a second floor apartment. It took a while for me to tackle the stairs.” The top of the wine bottle moves over to a man with ginger hair, glasses, and a kind smile. However, he’s wearing Crocs. “Randall is the owner of the steakhouse next to our favorite tasting room on Main Street. I’m only friends with him because he grills the steaks at Thanksgiving.” Everyone laughs. “And this is Samantha. She’s my best friend, other than Walker.” Samantha has her black hair pulled back in a severe ponytail and is wearing a very tight purple sweater. She smiles, but her eyes are on Magic, not Max, and I can tell they’ve been together. Surprisingly, this makes me a little sad, even though I’ve heard he’s probably fucked everyone who’s ever traveled through Napa Valley.

  “Nice to meet everyone,” I say.

  “Hi,” Laura adds. Confidence oozes out of her as she casually waves to everyone in the room.