Until You Loved Me--A Novel

by Brenda Novak

  “I found it a bit curious that you were doing it alone when it’s more fun with the support of a group.”

  She shrugged. “Desperate circumstances call for desperate measures.”

  He liked the delicate curve of her neck and her small, slender hands, which were devoid of the fake nails so many women wore, suggesting she possessed a certain practicality. “That bad, huh?”

  “That bad.”

  Stretching out his legs, he crossed them at the ankles. “Won’t you give me a hint about what went wrong? Did you lose your job? Get some bad news?”

  The darkness of his sunglasses made it difficult for him to determine the color of her eyes, but he admired the thick fringe of lashes that showcased them. He was almost certain they were blue...

  “I wish that’s all it was,” she said.

  “What could be worse?” He hoped he wasn’t putting his foot in his mouth, that she hadn’t recently been diagnosed with cancer or some other disease. He’d feel foolish for pushing the issue then. But he figured that couldn’t be it. She’d said it was worse than “getting bad news.”

  “I caught my fiancé in bed with another man.”

  He froze with his drink halfway to his lips. “You did say man...”

  “Yes. His ‘best friend’ from college. Apparently they’ve been together for some time.”

  He put down his drink. “Wow. That sucks.”

  “You have no idea. Speaking of sucking, what I saw will forever be etched on my brain.”

  Hudson grimaced. He was no homophobe. As far as he was concerned, people had a right to live as they saw fit. He’d be the first person to fight for that. He just found nothing appealing about having sex with another man, so the image she’d created in his mind made him cringe. “Are you sure you wouldn’t like another drink?”

  “I’m sure. I didn’t really come to drink. Well, I guess I did. But only because I was looking for some sort of diversion. I’m tired of seeing the whole incident over and over in my head.”

  He considered asking her to dance. That would be a diversion, wouldn’t it? He craved some excuse to put his hands on her. It’d been so long since he’d held a woman against him—and this one seemed different, refreshing.

  He didn’t dare take the risk of exposing his identity, however. At six foot five, his height was enough to draw attention. Once someone really looked at him, the jig would be up in spite of the dark glasses.

  “The music’s so loud in here. Why don’t we go out and walk along the water, where we can talk?” he asked.

  He’d probably made his move too soon, but he didn’t have a lot of time. If her friends didn’t come back, his would...

  She seemed uncertain, so he lifted his hands to indicate that he hadn’t meant to put any pressure on her. “Or, provided you’re willing, I could get your number and take you out tomorrow night.” If it came to that, Teague could arrange for some private place where they could dine without being gawked at or interrupted.

  She checked the time on her phone. “It’s only eleven-thirty.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “I don’t think they’re going to show.”

  He felt his eyebrows go up. “Who?”

  “My friend’s been expecting a few others to join us.”

  “So...”

  “I’ll take that walk with you,” she said. “Otherwise, I could be sitting here for another two hours.”

  “Great.” Maybe that wasn’t the most exuberant response he’d ever received, but a yes was a yes. He stood and offered her his hand, and felt his pulse spike with hope the second her fingers curled through his.

  * * *

  The moon hung low in the sky, so big and full it appeared to sit on the water. Ellie thought it could almost be mistaken for another planet. “That has to be the most beautiful sight I’ve ever seen,” she said to Hudson, tugging on his hand to get him to stop long enough to let her stand and gaze at it.

  “It’s gorgeous, all right,” he murmured, but he wasn’t looking at the moon. He was staring at her. She’d had his undivided attention ever since they left the club. Maybe it was the alcohol, but he was having quite an effect on her. Now that he’d removed his sunglasses and she could see his whole face, she had to admit that he wasn’t only large and well built but also stunningly attractive. She’d never had a more handsome man take an interest in her.

  “Did you know that our moon is unique in the whole solar system?” she asked.

  His gaze moved down to her lips before returning to her eyes. “No. What’s unique about it?”

  He wasn’t thinking about the moon; she could tell. He was thinking about touching her, kissing her. That possibility made her heart race and her knees go weak, which was crazy. She’d just been totally eviscerated, in an emotional sense, by Don. And yet...the warmth of Hudson’s hand, the glint of his teeth when he gave her that sexy grin of his and the deep timbre of his voice seemed to bury all that pain and disappointment—and make her feel like she was flying.

  She swallowed hard before continuing. “It’s disproportionately large, for one thing. If it wasn’t, it wouldn’t have sufficient gravity to hold the Earth steady on its orbital axis. That’s what keeps our climate relatively stable.”

  “Interesting,” he said as his hand slid up her arm.

  Ellie felt goose bumps break out on her skin. “And it didn’t form from leftover clouds of dust and gas, like most other moons,” she added breathlessly. “Astronomers believe there was a-another planet that collided with Earth nearly four billion years ago.”

  His hand climbed higher. “Is that so?”

  “Fortunately—” she cleared her throat “—it was just a glancing blow, or the Earth would’ve been destroyed.”

  “How tragic.”

  “Instead, the collision ripped off a huge chunk of the Earth’s crust, which began to orbit around us.”

  “Eventually becoming our moon.”

  “Yes.” She tried to keep her eyes on the huge white disk they were discussing. She was afraid she’d lose the small grip she still had on reality if she looked up into his face. They’d been walking along the beach, shoes off, for over two hours, talking about anything and everything except the mundane details of their lives. As they left the club, they’d agreed to forgo the usual small talk. Since they lived across the country from each other and would probably never meet again, there didn’t seem to be any point. But Hudson’s physical appeal and the excitement she was feeling were difficult to ignore.

  “You know a lot about everything—except TV, sports, movies and any other part of popular culture,” he teased.

  She opened her mouth to defend herself, but he was right. She was always involved in a book or an experiment. Anyway, she didn’t get the chance to say anything. He blocked out the moon by moving in front of it. Then his head came down and his mouth very gently met hers.

  Ellie told herself to step back. She didn’t even know this man. But the conversation they’d had for the past two hours had been so easy and companionable. And the way he made her feel! She’d never had such an immediate, visceral reaction to anyone.

  A tremor of excitement rolled from her head to her toes as his big hands moved up her back, pressing her against him as he parted her lips.

  Ellie heard a groan—and realized the sound had come from her. She’d never been kissed quite so well. He wasn’t overpowering her, wasn’t forcing his tongue down her throat. He was tasting her and inviting her to taste him, with such expertise she felt she could trust him to treat her just as she wanted to be treated.

  Before long, her head was spinning, and she couldn’t blame it on the shots she’d downed at the bar. She’d sobered up quite a bit since they left. She got the impression that Hudson had been biding his time, waiting until she was capable of kn
owing what she wanted and what she didn’t. She respected him for that. But his kiss was as intoxicating as any liquor, maybe more so.

  * * *

  When Ellie woke up, she knew exactly where she was. She just couldn’t explain the behavior that had led to finding herself in Hudson’s bed. It was so out of character.

  She held her breath, listening to the steady sound of his. He was still asleep, thank God. Not only had they made love three times, they’d slept in each other’s arms. Why? Sure, she’d been hurt by Don’s pretense and, when she’d texted Amy to tell her she’d met someone and would find her own way home, Amy had jokingly responded that she deserved a little revenge sex. From a birth control angle, she’d been prepared for it. Leslie had shoved a fistful of condoms in her purse—and in Amy’s purse, too—before they’d arrived at the club. But the hours Ellie had spent with Hudson weren’t about her broken engagement. After he kissed her that first time, she hadn’t thought of Don once. Hudson had obliterated him...and everything else. She’d never been tempted to describe someone she knew personally as virile—that wasn’t a word that came to mind very often—but it fit Hudson. He was so perfect in every regard that there were moments she suspected Amy had set her up.

  Maybe she had, Ellie thought, as she went over the sequence of events in her mind. Maybe Ellie would return to her regular life and learn that one of Amy’s friends had shown up, after all. Hudson. And that he’d only pretended to believe she was a complete stranger as a favor to Amy, to help rebuild Ellie’s self-esteem and teach her there were other men, other options.

  If that was the case, she’d certainly fallen for it—not that she found that very flattering. Either way, though, she was encouraged. He’d charmed her to the point that she’d forgotten how pathetic her real life was and just...lived in the moment. There was something to be said for that. The whole night had been magical, including the time they’d spent on the beach. Once, when she tossed her shoes aside and darted into the surf, he’d followed and plucked her out with one arm to save her from a particularly large wave. After that, the water had crashed into him. Somehow, he’d remained steady in spite of that. Then, soaked to his thighs, he’d carried her out, and they’d fallen onto the sand, laughing.

  Smiling at the memory, she raised her head. Sure enough, she’d spent the night with the handsome stranger from the bar. He was only inches away, covered by a sheet, but she knew he was naked underneath. How had she let it go that far? When he said he’d kept her out too late and offered to call a cab, she’d agreed. It was only after the taxi arrived, and he’d pressed her up against the car and kissed her for the second time—a deep, openmouthed kiss—that things went a little crazy. As with the first kiss, her head had started to spin and her heart had started to pound. But instead of letting him pull away, she’d grown bolder. When he’d finally opened the door to put her in the back seat, she’d been so hungry for more that she’d pulled him in with her. And instead of giving the driver her address, she’d whispered to Hudson that she wanted to know what it felt like to have sex with a man who truly desired her. A man who wasn’t attracted to someone else. And he’d immediately barked out the name of his hotel.

  Ten minutes later, they were hurrying to his room like randy teenagers making sure they left nothing unexplored on prom night. But Ellie hadn’t been invited to prom. She’d established too much of a reputation as a bookworm by then, and that wasn’t the sort of girl who got many dates. So she felt she owed herself the experience. And as reckless as her behavior had been, she couldn’t bring herself to regret being with him. She’d never been shallow. To her mind, Don, with his narrow shoulders and weak chin, proved that. But Hudson... Wow! His body was a work of art—strong, sinewy and ideally proportioned.

  She couldn’t help glancing down to where she knew she’d find other parts that were decidedly impressive. Even in that regard, he was far superior to anyone she’d ever known.

  A fresh wave of heat flowed through her as she remembered how masterfully he’d taken charge of her body. He’d quickly found all her most sensitive parts, adapted to every sound or movement she made—read her easily—and made her vibrate with pleasure.

  She covered her mouth at the memory of how she’d cried out at her first climax. She was embarrassed by that, and by the way she’d climbed on top of him later.

  She had to get out of here, she decided. She didn’t want to face him. Before last night, she’d had sex with only two other men, both of whom had been long-term boyfriends, not strangers. So the question remained—how had she stepped outside her overly cautious, preoccupied-with-other-things self and let go like that? Made love with such wanton abandon?

  She had no idea, but she couldn’t pretend that she hadn’t discovered how good connecting with a man she highly desired could be.

  Ellie was afraid she’d wake Hudson as she slipped out of bed. It had to be morning. But with the drapes closed to block out incoming light and the alarm clock turned away from the bed, she couldn’t tell.

  Thankfully, Hudson didn’t even stir.

  As soon as she could move freely, without fear of bumping into him or causing the bed to shake, she hurried to pull on the skimpy white dress that lay in a small heap on the floor. While she was now glad of the Brazilian Amy had forced her to get—and the lingerie—she hated having nothing modest to put on. Anyone who saw her leaving such an expensive hotel would probably assume she was a high-priced hooker.

  At least Amy would be proud that she’d quit being so conservative, that she’d actually cut loose...

  She tried to take solace in that as she jotted her phone number on the pad by the phone. She thought Hudson might want to see her again. He’d seemed to have a good time, too. But after pausing to take one final look at him—the well-muscled arm flung out across a pillow, the tousle of dark curls against the white of the linens and those big, broad shoulders—she went back, quietly tore off the paper and shoved it in her purse. She didn’t want to risk having him not call. She’d been through too much, and it was still too recent. Besides, he lived across the country, so there was no reason to take the risk. It wasn’t as if what they’d started here could really go anywhere.

  Last night had been a grand and memorable adventure.

  She was going to leave it at that.

  3

  The constant buzzing of his phone, vibrating from the pocket of his discarded pants, woke Hudson. He lifted his head so he could turn the alarm clock around to face him before dropping back onto the pillow. It was after noon. How had he slept so late? He was usually an early riser, couldn’t lie in past seven or eight even if he wanted to.

  Only after he’d had a few seconds to regain full consciousness did he remember that he’d had a woman with him last night—a sweet, smart woman who’d made him laugh on the beach and given him a wild ride in bed afterward. That was why he’d been able to sleep so late. He hadn’t sacked out until almost dawn—and only after significant physical exertion. That workout had been the good kind, too, the kind he’d been craving for some time, which had to be why he’d scarcely moved since. Satisfaction. At last.

  He reached out, searching for Ellie’s warm body next to him. Maybe the fun didn’t have to be over, he thought. But she wasn’t there.

  His phone stopped vibrating as he shoved himself into a sitting position and squinted to see in the dark room. He had a suite at the Four Seasons, so the fact that she wasn’t in the bedroom didn’t necessarily mean she was gone. She could be in one of the bathrooms or the dining or living area.

  He didn’t hear any noise, however—nothing to indicate he had company.

  Why would she leave so soon? Without even giving him her number or pinning him down on when he might be interested in getting together again?

  “Ellie?” he called.

  No answer.

  He got up and pulled on his boxers before op
ening the drapes to let in the sun. Then he walked through the whole suite.

  As he’d begun to suspect, it was empty. And her clothes and purse weren’t anywhere to be found.

  Had she gone out to get them some breakfast?

  Hudson would’ve been happy to order room service if she’d told him she was hungry...

  If she had stepped out for food, she might’ve left him a note to say she’d be back. He checked the desk, but there was nothing on the pad by the phone.

  Returning to the bed, he held the pillow she’d used to his nose. He could smell her perfume. That was the only trace left of her.

  His phone started to vibrate again. Disappointed that the woman he’d met and liked had walked out on him without so much as a goodbye—when she knew he still had a day or two in Miami—he picked up his pants and dug his phone out of the front pocket. As he did, he felt a small burst of hope and thought maybe she was calling. Until he remembered that she didn’t know who he was. They hadn’t exchanged numbers; they hadn’t even exchanged last names!

  Before she left, she could’ve gotten his phone out of his pants and called herself to capture his number. He’d had other women help themselves. But it would have been locked since he hadn’t used it recently. Besides, she didn’t seem the type. If he was being honest, that was partly why he’d been attracted to her. She wasn’t as aggressive as some of the other women he’d met since launching his career. So he wasn’t surprised to find that his caller was just Teague.

  With a sigh, he hit the talk button. “’Lo?”

  “There you are!” Teague said. “Jeez, I’ve called you at least ten times. Where the heck have you been?”

  “What do you mean, where have I been? I was up late. I’ve been sleeping. Why? What’s the emergency?”

  “No emergency. Just checking in. I was afraid you were unhappy when you left last night. I would’ve left with you if you’d told me you were going. I tried texting you, but after that cryptic message you sent me—‘Leaving, see you tomorrow’—I got nothing.”