Althea: A Story of Love

by Philip Rastocny

  Althea set up the card table between the fire and our tent. With our car not far away, it felt strange to be camping and have it so close to our site. But as she unpacked all of the secret little things she brought along, I understood why she chose this particular place. Lifting one particularly heavy and bulging bag from the trunk, she carried it over to the card table and as the light faded, she ceremoniously began.

  “I brought along all of my crystals I’ve collected over the years and I want to make a circle of them around our table tonight. From here, we will feast and renew our vows.”

  Carefully removing the now quite large bouquet of yellow roses from behind the front seat, I set them in the center of the table and started preparing the evening meal. Homemade spaghetti was on the menu along with wine and garlic bread. Even our fine china from our wedding found its way to this table set in the deep desert. Matching napkins, crystal glasses, and of course coffee all were carefully prepared and deliberately positioned over a Navaho crafted tablecloth. Our multi-colored cloth director’s chairs flanked the elaborate setting with their broad feet especially suited for the soft sandy soil.

  Lighting small candles along the edges gave our dinner table adequate light since the small camp fire was incapable of providing enough to see our food. One large massive amethyst crystal lay at our feet, directly under the center of the table. Circled completely with other smaller crystals, our meal under the stars was now ready for our annual ceremony to begin.

  Serving the fresh cooked pasta and pouring the handmade sauce over the noodles, we raised our wine glasses and toasted to each other through the flickering candle light while packs of wild coyotes howled in the distance. The wind stopped and the night grew still as the time for our renewal approached. With crickets chirping, Althea reached for my hands across the table and she began.

  “Phil, this has been an amazing year. Our lives have been blessed by the Creator and our love has grown beyond my expectations. We are communicating more than ever before and my heart is thankful for that. You have been supportive and understanding, and I do so love you. Under these stars and with these crystals all around us, I feel the energy surging though us as I speak these words. I feel so lucky to have you as my partner.”

  Watching her eyes tear up, I smiled back at her also through tear filled eyes squeezing her hand gently in mine.

  “There are a few things I want us to adjust. I need your support in these things and working together, our lives will be more complete. Think of me throughout the day as you work. Keep me as your highest priority and connect with me more often. With this, I can agree to continue our marriage for another year.”

  Absorbing every word, I pondered what she said and knew it was true. I was distancing myself from her spending more time at work chasing the proverbial carrot and less quality time with her. She headed it off as it was unfolding, and I knew what she said was out of love. Then, she finished, and it was my turn.

  “Althea, my heart longs to be by your side. When I see your eyes smiling back at me, whatever is going on melts away in an instant. I am so in love with you and I thank the Creator for being there on the day we wed. Our life’s walk will be true as long as we recall that sacred moment. The way you embrace life is exemplary and our commitment to our personal spirituality brings us closer together each day.

  “I hear and understand what you say about my focus. Work changes me as I try to accomplish things to make our life better. I was unaware I was distancing myself from you and I thank you for bringing it up tonight. I will work on reconnecting with that part of our communication and know now I value you more than anything else in the world.

  “Unlike you, I cannot find anything I want to address—nothing I want to fix or change. You consistently amaze me and I see your strength grow each day. The way you embrace change and challenge is inspiring and your energy is contagious.

  “Althea, I commit to you for one more year and if you see fit, I ask now that you commit to me.”

  Pausing for a moment with her eyes locked on mine, Althea spoke. “Phil, I commit myself to you for one more year knowing that you hear me. I gladly do this amidst these crystals, under these stars, and in the presence of the Creator.”

  We raised our wine glasses lifting them high into the sky clinking them together. As we sipped, our eyes were still locked on each other over the tops of the yellow roses. The coyote’s had stopped calling to each other and now the silence of the desert was as deafening as any thunderous waterfall could be.

  We finished our meal, grabbed our drums, and wandered off to a high ledge that overlooked an expansive ravine. Across the valley, shelves and caves dotted the cliffs in the deep red sandstone rocks. Walking along the ridge, small pockets in the tops of large boulders still held rain water from the early morning drizzle like a half-filled pot. Rain streaks on the blood red sandstone combined with shadows from the evening twilight painted a surreal landscape in the rocks from which our drumming began.

  Sitting cross-legged on the ledge facing the distant cliffs, our drums beat in unison and the echoes bounced off distant walls reverberating in the silence as if we were in a great cathedral. Lifting our voices in song, our ears filled with the sounds of the night desert and our hearts filled with our love for each other. The bright moonlight cast an eerie glow along the valley floor and a light breeze carried the scent of dried sagebrush through the night air.

  Our drumming continued into a mind-altering frenzy climaxing as the once silent coyotes found a new voice to join our simple symphony. Our blended harmony echoed across the valley and our spirits soared. We finished drumming, beating loudly in sporadic and uneven beats. Althea finished by screeching her eagle call high into the endless depths of the dark sky.

  We sat there holding hands, our feet dangling off of the edge of the cliff soaking up the moment. Often, more can be found when being silent than when speaking. Being aware and receiving the gifts of silence, we noticed the slightest sounds and their roar brought peace to our hearts. This was the magic. Tonight we received more than a renewal of our wedding vows; we renewed a connection to ourselves and the Creator.

  Many similar renewal ceremonies followed this one, each with their own special meanings and messages. Our challenge was to make every year a special event beyond its location and its price. Althea found a way each time to make the true essence of our commitment and our relationship memorable and meaningful. I continued to find places in my heart she lovingly coaxed out into the open.

  Blizzard Gulch Anniversary

  As the bouquet of yellow roses grew, so did our appreciation for this unique ceremony. Little did we realize that on that first anniversary, when Althea’s inability to grasp the length of our commitment, each year we would encourage, nurture, and diligently tend to our most precious gift to each other—our love. Each year we would stop just for a few days from our busy lives and dedicate the time to do this. Each year we would treasure the time of being completely honest and open about our perceptions and our concerns, and negotiate resolutions from our hearts. Each year this ceremony was more meaningful and sincere than any in the past.

  We have seen thirty eight such ceremonies come and go, each one very different from the other—but yet all the same. Inviting friends to our celebrations have moved them in many ways. But their reactions have one consistent element. “Your love for each other is exemplary,” they say. “It is truly inspiring.”

  Sacred Renewal Ceremony

  Recovery from major surgery for anyone can be incredibly slow; a daunting task to say the least accompanied by abysmal mediocrity and tedious repetition. Progress is measured in the minutest increments. Much like climbing up a steep mountain where each deliberate step inches one up towards the summit, the persistent and perseverant steps of recovery gradually brings one back to health.

  Mirrors remind you of how far you must travel while supporters reflect back how far you have come. Days and even weeks can roll on without a single perceptible change.
Through it all, maintaining optimism is an ongoing challenge.

  Then one day, through the boredom, something miraculous happens and another level of recovery is reached. Real progress arrives at the most unexpected times yielding yet to another plateau. Strength and conviction return, and this stair stepping process begins anew. It is then that your goal, your outcome, your focus, flashes back into your mind.

  At such a time, momentary relief returns that is soon replaced by new challenges. Another hand hold appears and one more step is taken. The climb to health continues with the sight of the summit closer today than yesterday. Hope returns.

  Mountain climbers understand that reaching the summit of a mountain is a process, not an event. From moment to moment any choice results in forward, backward, or sideways progress. To reach the top, a succession of proper forward choices achieves results, regardless of how many backwards or sideways trips are encountered along the way. When one finally reaches the summit, a euphoric celebration culminates from the persistence of these simple successive choices. And the experience, not the climax, is what truly matters.

  Althea’s “mountain peak” was the bench in our back yard and its summit experience was a simple toast of coffee. Past the boredom of plateaus, around the retreats in progress, she maintained this vision. Taking at least one opportunity each day to glance out the window at her bench encouraged her to go on. Although she wasn’t sitting there yet, this repetitive sight drove her to keep trying, encouraging her not to give up.

  “There it is,” she said singing slightly with her voice looking through the side door window. “It’s just outside and down the steps.”

  She could see the steps emptying onto the lawn. The green grass flowed like a river over toward the awaiting white bench. Tucked into the towering cedar trees, the seat back frame emblazed with a rose pattern beckoned to her, inviting her to come. Her eyes scanned the familiar trees for signs of birds’ nests. Cracking open the door, her ears perked up listening for signs of tiny chirps in the treetops.

  Her brief statement boldly demonstrated her conviction. The melodic rising tones at the end of her words hinted at her optimism and determination. She knew without a doubt that one day she would indeed sit there again. Although today was not that day, she still smiled understanding she was closer now to that moment than ever before.

  “Soon…” she said again in a low whispering, confident tone. “Soon…”

  With her hopes renewed, Althea returned to the living room and sat in her favorite chair. Propping up her feet, she settled in for another day of gathering her strength. Like a snowball rolling down hill, she was gaining momentum and her health was returning.

  Wanting a constant reminder of our focus, I positioned the sketch of the two of us on the bench just below the television. In this location—without even realizing it—our subconscious minds were programmed to see where our summit was, where we wanted to go.

  While on plateaus of recovery, stimulation is important to relieve boredom; relief can come in various ways. Recalling what Althea enjoyed in the past to resolve such boredom, I bought her a gift.

  “I have a present for you. I hope you enjoy it.”

  Althea loved surprises, especially an unexpected one like this. Baubles, jewelry, and the like are reserved for commemorative celebrations. Gifts of flowers, movies, and meals fill in other times. But this occasion did not fit into either category and Althea wondered at what this gift might be.

  Unwrapping the small package, she blurted out, “It’s a video game.” Turning the thin envelope over and over in her hands, her eyes were intrigued by the pictures on its side showing familiar scenes. She knew this game well.

  As I installed the game to her laptop computer and connected it to our home theater, her eyes glistened. Memories of playing this game returned and just like riding a bicycle, she recalled her button-pushing and finger-flipping skills.

  “This may work,” she said when realizing why I gave her such a gift. “This may help me.”

  Playing any good video game develops hand-eye coordination and improves the thought processes. Recognizing the barrage of threats, making snap decisions, and carefully planning strategies are all parts of these types of interactive games. Simultaneously engaging both the left and right sides of the brain, this simple game helped reconnect these two halves retraining them to work together as they once did. By playing this game from the comfort of her favorite chair, Althea was not only having a lot of fun but also improving her ability to coordinate her limbs without moving them a single inch.

  “Just play at the slowest, lowest level and see how it goes.”

  Centipede was one of her all time favorite games and soon the familiar sounds of the underscoring heartbeat and gunfire came alive. “I’m not very good at it,” she said as she clicked on the restart button.

  “Don’t worry. You’ll work it out. You’ll get better as time goes on,” I encouraged. It was good to see her enjoy herself and not just stare out the window. This should help her in many ways.

  She played for a half an hour and set higher scores with each subsequent play. It was working. She became amazed at her own achievements and saw real progress every time she pressed the restart button. Captivated, she reluctantly stopped for breakfast.

  “This helps,” she said smiling while eating her freshly cooked over-easy egg. Sliding her bacon through a slit in the top, yellow yolk dripped from the strip as it entered her mouth. Pausing between bites, she surprised me by saying, “Let’s go out to the bench.”

  Could today be the day? I thought. Would we see the hawks too? “Let’s do that. It’s nice outside and we can sit in the shade,” I anxiously replied.

  Using the walker as far as the door, she took my hand to get down the stairs and then shuffled by herself across the yard to her favorite bench. There was a moment of sheer bliss when she sat down and both of us cried. We did not have coffee or see hawks, but we had our first visit to the bench and our vision of healing started to come true.

  She sat outside for a while listening to the birds in the trees and feeling the cool wind on her neck. “Let’s sit in the sun,” she said pointing to the chairs around the fire pit.

  We moved into the backyard and warmed up in the bright morning. We just sat there and marveled at the sounds and smells of the grapefruit tree and Confederate Ivy both in early bloom. It was magical! Her first venture outdoors was indeed a pleasant experience that reinforced her vision of healing. This experience was just the gift she needed.

  Going back inside, she climbed the stairs and her legs gave out just as we went into the house. “I’m just worn out,” she said smiling, holding on to my arm.

  “Lean here against the door and rest a while. Take a moment and get your strength back.”

  Holding onto my arm, she slid down and sat on the floor in the doorway. I quickly returned with her walker. As I sat down on the floor next to her, she stirred looking directly into my eyes. “I’m sorry I couldn’t go further,” she said sheepishly.

  “What do you mean?” I said surprised. “Look at what you did!”

  Looking down, she thought for a minute. “You’re right. I did well. Today is a good day.”

  Helping her up, she grabbed the walker and made her way slowly back to her favorite living room chair. Resting comfortably with the memory of the bench in her mind, she gazed out the window and smiled, reflecting on what had just happened.

  We watched movies the rest of the day and at sunset I took a bicycle ride by myself. As I climbed eastward on a long gradual hill, I saw the full moon rising above the horizon. Today is full moon. Today is exactly one lunar cycle after her surgery.

  I finished the ride, ran inside, and told her this. Neither she nor I could really believe it.

  “Are you sure?” she said.

  Taking out my laptop and starting my astronomy program, I double checked the dates. “Yes it is. I knew it had to be. The lunar eclipse occurred the night I discovered you on the couc
h and today was the next full moon. Today is exactly one lunar cycle since your subdural hematoma.”

  Finding her lying on the couch that night seemed so long ago, but hardly any time had actually passed. For someone to heal from her condition this quickly was truly miraculous. We are getting what we want—what we ask for in prayer—and for which we are truly grateful.

  February 20, 2008 March 21, 2008

  Only One Lunar Cycle Later

  Chapter 28 — March 22, 2008 — Day 31

  * * *

  “Did you remember the new ski wax?” Althea asked as she started up the trail.

  “Yes, I have all five types along with the scraper and cork,” I responded kicking hard with my left leg following close behind.