The Undead Detective Bites: Book 1

by Jennifer Hilt

I stepped out of the car. Immediately I realized I’d not given enough credit to Fang’s heater. Fuck, it was cold. I wrapped my arms around my body. Small animal and bird tracks laced the snow but no human or vehicles.

  “Who plows this motherfucker?” I mused.

  “She’s got a service now.”

  “Used to be you, huh? Fun job that.”

  “When you’re married some things are easier to go along with.”

  “Stop selling it so hard, Fang.” I caught the edge of a wry smile as he turned away.

  We walked around to the front entrance, making fresh tracks in the snow. I rang the doorbell. The house stayed dark. Shifters are extremely territorial. If she was home, Triana probably would’ve known when we started up her driveway.

  “If she’s not here. Where do you think she is?” I stamped my feet to keep them moving. Leather boots look awesome but don’t do much with insulation.

  “Vegas probably. She goes there shopping a lot.”

  “Call her again. I’m freezing.”

  “Here,” Fang said. “Take my coat.”

  I stepped back like he’d bitten me. I did not need Fang’s warm duster smelling of Fang and full of his body heat clouding my thoughts.

  “Just call her.” I waved his offer away.

  Fang pulled his phone out of his pocket. He frowned.

  “Now what?” I asked.

  “Battery’s dead. Don’t you have a phone?”

  “It’s broken. Long story, trust me.”

  A shimmering caught my attention to the left where a thick copse of spindly evergreens grew.

  Idris.

  He stepped out of the shadows dressed as though he was heading to a board meeting except that he wore puffy boots with thick soles.

  “Idris, you asshole. Come out here,” I called. “Nice suit. You blend in great with the scenery.”

  Beside me, Fang growled and he edged slightly in front of me. Like he thought I wouldn’t notice that.

  Shifters have a protective instinct that was either sweet or irritating depending on my mood. Now I was going for the former. Ask me in five minutes and it could be the latter.

  “How’s your head, Silverthorne?” Idris asked.

  “It’ll take more than that to get rid of me, Idris.” I bared my fangs. “Are those boots heated?”

  He nodded. “Straight from Antarctica. It’s like walking around with toasters on my feet.” He rocked back on his heels, drawing my attention again to his footwear.

  “Right after I kill you, I’m taking those boots.”

  Idris gave a slight bow. “I’d be disappointed if you didn’t try.”

  “Do you two mind?” Fang cut in. “Vampire, what the hell are you doing outside my wife’s house?”

  “She’s his ex-wife,” I added.

  Fang glared at me.

  “I need to talk to Triana Fang. She called me from London promising me an exclusive first look at a new disease in a virtually closed community. I arrive here to find you, Silverthorne. That’s hardly exclusive.”

  Triana did know about Glytr. I wanted to tell Fang ‘told you so’ but I reined in my petty comment just in time. Knowing Triana knew about Glytr gave me a toe hold into what was going on. Find Triana, find some answers.

  “And then when I contacted Elsbeth about coming into her territory, she offered to bring me up here herself but she never mentioned you, Silverthorne,” Idris said.

  That was the Elsbeth I knew. She always played her cards close to her non-existent chest.

  “Got a key, Fang?” I asked.

  “Not anymore.” He shook his head. Snow covered the brim of his hat. He loved that hat. Hell, I loved that hat. It was the same one he wore years ago.

  “Try my cell phone.” Idris pulled the small device out of his pocket and held it out to Fang.

  Fang took it grudgingly and punched in Triana’s numbers. He stared down at the phone in disbelief. “No service.”

  “We’re going in before I freeze to death.” I said. “Fang, do the honors.”

  Fang found a small window on the lower level. He kicked out the glass.

  It was just wide enough for me to slide though. Fang made a comment about me drinking diet blood, but I ignored him, happy to get to a warmer place.

  “Go around to the front door and let us in,” Fang said.

  I rolled my eyes at him before sliding my legs in first. No duh.

  I slid in through a daylight basement. Humans love them, but they are a vampire’s worst nightmare. Anything below ground we like to be light-free.

  I was careful not to cut myself on the broken glass.

  Inside, the house was frigid. I could see my breath. So much for a warmer place. My eyes adjusted quickly to the darkness. The house was still. Not any sense that anyone was here. Or at least not anyone living was here, but one thing was for sure.

  I smelled blood. Lots of it.

  Had some horrible thing happened to Triana here? I hoped not for Fang’s sake. Shifters didn’t die from natural causes.

  “Silverthorne! Let me in.” Fang banged on the front door.

  “Coming,” I muttered. I knew he could hear me.

  This wasn’t going to end well. My tiny vamp heart was heavy that I couldn’t spare Fang this pain.

  I resisted tracking the source of the smell, but there wasn’t anything I could do to shield him.

  I left the lower level, heading up the stairway. The place was designed like a split level. In the foyer, a cathedral ceiling soared with exposed mahogany beams. I switched on a light and unlocked the front door for Fang and Idris.

  Fang raced up the steps past me, calling, “Triana, everything all right?”

  Idris and I shared a glance before following him up the stairs. The blood smell would have struck them both too as soon as I opened the door. Fang was holding out hope for a happy ending.

  Fang stopped short at the top of the stairs leading to the living room. Idris and I almost ran into the back of him. Pictures of Fang and Triana were everywhere, formal posed pictures and candid shots.

  Idris whispered. “I’ll never understand shifters. Aren’t they divorced?”

  I nodded.

  I struggled to make sense of the scene before us.

  The décor wasn’t the only odd thing about the living room. The living area was completely destroyed—furniture overturned, books and papers strewn about. A lamp was shattered and a picture broken. Glitter, glue, paper and yarn were everywhere. It looked like a craft store had exploded.

  And as expected everything was mixed with blood. So much blood. Fang ran down a hallway off the living room, calling Triana’s name.

  Doors slammed as he repeated his recital. His voice grew harsher with desperation.

  I held up a throw pillow soaked in blood and glitter. I was wearing my favorite gloves. I didn’t want them covered in blood so I pinched an edge. “Is this your handiwork?” I asked Idris.

  Indris shrank back. “Be serious. I abhor glitter. I’ve seen STDs with less persistence. Besides why would I wait around for you and the sheriff if I had killed her?”

  Good point.

  I knew Idris well enough. He killed for a purpose, not for pleasure. This was like a cheap horror movie scene. With Idris it was about surgical precision. He’d slit your throat before you even knew it.

  Which made me think of Griz’s horrible death again. I narrowed my eyes at Idris. “What about the old shifter last night?”

  “I did not kill him.”

  Without evidence I had no way of knowing if he was telling the truth.

  “What about your traveling companions?”

  “Your maker and sibling?” His lips thinned. “We arrived together as you saw. The shifter was already dead.”

  I didn’t believe him. He’d never given me a reason to.

  A small smile played at my lips. I planned to usher him into the great Void with Junior before I left Nowhere.

  “I’m glad you believe me, Silverthorne. We
should trust each other.”

  Riight.

  That didn’t even deserve a response.

  Fang returned to the living room, clutching his hat. “She’s gone. There’s no sign of her.”

  I glanced around the room again. We wouldn’t find a body here. It was a lot of blood. Too much. Triana didn’t have that kind of volume. And this killer wasn’t the type to shove her up a chimney. If you went in for this much gore, you wanted the full shock value.

  “This blood isn’t hers,” Fang said.

  “It’s too much volume for Trina’s size,” I agreed. I was glad that Fang was spared her death even though I wasn’t a fan. “Antelope maybe? Something you can kill out here and easily discard.”

  “Why?” Fang asked. “Even for Triana this is going too far. She’d never destroy her home. She loved this place more than me.” He carefully took in the scene before him again.

  “Beats me.” I surveyed the mess. “There was a lot of hate that went into this destruction. This was no small feat.”

  I’d turned the lights off. There was only so much glitter and blood that even vampires could take. Trina’s windows looked out on the ravine below. The moon broke through the clouds to shine on the snow, deceptively peaceful.

  I was willing to bet Elsbeth had something to do with this. My experience with her was that wherever she went, violence was sure to follow. The standard Occam’s Razor principle applied here—the most simple explanation is the often correct. But why?

  “How did you and Elsbeth meet up again?” I asked Idris. They’d known each other for centuries but these days Idris was busy with his London medical work. Elsbeth tended to remain Stateside. Their pairing set off alarm bells in my suspicious brain.

  Idris hesitated, probably deciding how much to lie. “I stopped in San Francisco to see her before coming here. She still thinks of everything west of the Mississippi as her private property.” Idris removed an immaculate silk handkerchief from his coat pocket and pressed it to his nose. “Could we continue this discussion back in the foyer?”

  I smirked. “Blood getting to you?”

  “No,” Idris said with a shudder. “It’s all that damn glitter. I don’t want to ruin more clothing. Last night’s suit was trashed. I didn’t bring an extensive wardrobe with me.”

  There was a solace in that Idris never changed. He was always obsessed with his wardrobe. There was no way he’d use glitter ever.

  I headed back down the stairs to the foyer landing, and a chill went through me that had nothing to do with the frigid internal temperature. The glitter didn’t bother me like it did Idris. I didn’t care for the blood-soaked images of Fang.

  Idris followed me. “It wouldn’t hurt you to stay on Elsbeth’s good side, Silverthorne. She’s been lenient with you for far too long. One of these days she’ll tire of indulging you. You know how she treats those she discards.”

  “Fuck you, Idris,” I said. Damn, it was cold in here. We were shielded from the wind but still the cabin was ice cold. I crossed my arms over my chest, hugging myself to generate some warmth. “Where is Elsbeth?”

  Idris eyed me skeptically. “I’m not her keeper. She’s not my Maker. Probably off looking for Junior.”

  I glanced at Fang. There was no way to be delicate about this. Besides, my toes were frozen. I stamped my feet. No good. More aerobic exercise was needed. With the three of us standing in the foyer, I started a series of squats before asking, “Did Junior really take off with Griz’s head?”

  Idris gestured to Fang. “He saw as much as I did. That’s the last I’ve seen of him.”

  They were both staring at me oddly during my warm-up. I didn’t care if I looked odd. I was never so happy to feel the burn in my quads. Idris was as cold as I was. Fang? He was running a few degrees too warm. He was agitated. That’s the thing with being cold-blooded, we can sense heat in other beings. I kept up with my squats. It was better than thinking of heat-generating opportunities with Fang. I needed more blood moving to my brain to help me think.

  “With no head it makes examining him for Glytr impossible,” Idris said.

  “Griz wasn’t a drug user.” Fang unbuttoned his jacket. He squinted at the ceiling. I followed his glance. A spider hiding out in the chandelier made from some buck’s rack.

  “He’s not usually who fits the profile, but you saw the room last night.” Idris snuck a glance at Fang’s sheepskin-lined jacket. “But without studying Griz’s brain we’ll never know more.”

  I was missing something. The blood scent made me hungry. Saliva pooled in my mouth and I swallowed.

  “The only real clue we have is the O.O. that Griz wrote in his blood. I suppose it’s a longshot that you know someone with those initials around?” I finished my second set of squats, feeling marginally warmer.

  Fang still avoided eye contact with me. “I’ve been thinking about that too. I can’t think of anyone with one ‘o’ in their name let alone two. He must’ve died before he finished writing the message.”

  Maybe. But he’d hidden it well under his hand, surely hoping the killer wouldn’t notice.

  “What’s our next step?” Idris rubbed his ears with his fashionable but useless leather gloves. Those might keep the London rain off his skin but out here they were pitiful.

  “There’s no ‘we’ here, vampire.” Fang’s head snapped down from his preoccupation with the ceiling. His voice was low and definitely a growl.

  Idris raised his hands in acquiescence. “I’m not your enemy, wolf.”

  There’s no accounting for the awkwardness of having two lovers sizing each other up before me. “Ok, ok, guys. Let’s not have a repeat of last night. I don’t think my head needs more knocking around. Idris, what are you suggesting?”

  “This is my community and I’m the sheriff,” Fang cut in. “No one is peddling drugs here. I would know it.”

  “With no disrespect, I beg to differ,” Idris said. “Two nights in a row we’ve found strong evidence of Glytr.”

  I stepped between them, abandoning my plan to get warm. “Nowhere is not like London or LA. The community here values their privacy. They stick to their packs and avoid outsiders. Griz and Triana were both in contact with paranormals and maybe even humans through the motel and casino.”

  We were all getting excited being around this much blood. Plus it was fairly fresh, the best kind.

  Idris flared his nostrils. His pupils were dilated.

  Fang’s stance was very aggressive with his legs apart and teeth bared.

  I’d like to think it was my overwhelming sexual appeal that was driving them both to distraction but there wasn’t time to find out.

  “Maybe she heard about it elsewhere and thought it might wind up in Nowhere.”

  “Looks like she was right,” Idris said.

  The two males circled each other. And as impressive as Triana’s foyer, it was not going to hold up well with a confrontation between these two. Plus Fang wasn’t recovered from last night.

  “Stop. Both of you. We need to talk to Leon.”

  “Who?” Idris asked without taking his eyes off Fang.

  “Triana’s brother and co-owner of the new casino.” Fang headed down the stairs to the basement.

  Idris and I waited in the foyer while Fang blocked up the broken window that I’d crawled through. I was not eager to get back out in Fang’s ice block truck. The thought of the cold seats alone was enough to keep me in the foyer with Idris.

  With Fang gone, I started jumping jacks.

  “A shifter, Silverthorne? Really?” Idris shook his head.

  Vampires were forbidden any type of relationship beyond a casual fuck. Humans didn’t count since they were our preferred food source and they had the potential to be turned vampire.

  Fang didn’t stand to lose much seeing how he had no pack of his own.

  But for me, the transgression was a stake worthy offense. Elsbeth forgave me for my perceived lack of judgment a decade ago. She wouldn’t overlook any fu
rther violations by me. Knowing this I wondered why she was so keen to get me back to Nowhere.

  “Don’t start with me, Idris,” I said, hearing Fang’s step on the stairs.

  Once outside, I climbed into the back seat of Fang’s Bronco, leaving the two males to sit in the front. Happily, I discovered a blanket which I tucked around my legs. My toes were still freezing though. I wiggled them to keep them moving, but tomorrow I’d have Ben hunt me up some better quality socks in town.

  Speaking of my personal assistant, I wanted to stop back and check on him but backtracking into town would eat up valuable time. Those silver chains better do the trick. I hoped wherever Junior was, he was leading Elsbeth on a merry chase far away from Nowhere. Although to be honest, how many places could a sumo wrestler vampire hide in the Nevada mountains? It’s not like he was dressed for the elements. And come to think of it, neither was Elsbeth. I hoped they fell down a cliff, froze and then burst into flames when the sun came up.

  If only I was that lucky.

  I didn’t buy Idris wanting us to work together for anything other than him keeping tabs on me. I wasn’t surprised though. It was very medical school. And frankly I felt the same way.

  What I wanted, and I was sure Idris did too, was the chance to study the very beginning of an epidemic. And opportunities like these did not come around often. It was a matter of being in the right place at the right time. We’d both attended medical school after Dr. John Snow’s monumental discovery that tainted water spread cholera. And after that we missed out on the vaccines to eradicate involving polio and smallpox. There were still a plethora of human diseases and addictions researchers were fighting, but to my estimation, Glytr was too new to have generated much attention yet. Large academic institutions moved very slowly. Besides, humans weren’t keen to spend tax dollars on potential paranormal health issues. Which was why neither of us was going anywhere until we had more information.

  I suspected Triana set this whole thing up to make us run around like idiots. Fang said she was given to theatrics. It puzzled me why she’d contacted Elsbeth. Why not just ask me and Idris directly?

  Maybe she wanted a larger audience. When we found her, she would have plenty to answer for.

  Back on the main road, the snow had picked up. Between the poor visibility and sulking males in the front seat, the ride was blessedly small-talk free. A small silver lining, but one nonetheless.