The Carmel Sheehan Story

by Jean Grainger

  ‘Use the mike, Dad, we can’t hear you!’ Luke yelled up from the back.

  Joe squirmed a bit. ‘Ah, I’d be like an eejit, and sure I’m not really a guide, I’m just telling ye a few bits that I know...’

  ‘’No, Joe, please, use the microphone.’ Zeinab leaned forward and tapped Joe on the shoulder almost proprietarily. ‘You have a lovely speaking voice, and it is so fascinating, it would be a shame if we couldn’t all hear you properly.’

  Carmel glanced at Nadia, who looked mortified. Something would have to be done, or poor old Nadia would crack up. Carmel resolved to have a chat with her when they stopped. Zeinab wasn’t upsetting Joe in the slightest; he was well aware of her taking a shine to him, and if anything, he thought it was funny. But Nadia was clearly uncomfortable, and Zeinab wasn’t exactly subtle.

  Reluctantly, Joe pulled the gooseneck mike from its socket on the wall beside his head and put it in front of his mouth, testing it for sound.

  ‘This is the end of the peace and quiet now, lads, Joe has amplification!’ Damien joked, and everyone laughed. Everyone except Zeinab, who seemed to be taking umbrage on Joe’s behalf.

  ‘We are very lucky to have Joe to show us around, young man,’ she said, her imperious tone cutting through the laughter. ‘Perhaps you should have more respect for your elders.’

  ‘Ah, he’s only messing, Zeinab,’ Joe jumped in quickly. ‘I’m well able for him. Now, as I was saying...’

  Damien gave a grin and gestured being slapped on the wrist. Luckily, Zeinab didn’t see it.

  ‘The lads that built this place were some engineers,’ Joe went on. ‘It’s seventy-six meters wide and over twelve high, and was used to bury people, presumably the kings or whatever in that society. Anyway, it’s a passage tomb, and over the entranceway is a thing that looks for all the world like a window, but they call it a roof box. And wait till you hear this: on the winter solstice, twenty-first of December, the passageway into the tomb is perfectly aligned with the rising sun, and the light shines in through the roof box, creeps along the passageway—and this passageway is sixty feet long, mind you—and then when the light gets all the way down, it floods the tomb chamber with light. It is absolutely incredible, and they had the technology to do this over five thousand years ago. There’s a lottery you can enter to be there on the solstice, but they do a reconstruction when you visit, so we’ll get to see that. It’s not as good as the real thing, but t’will give us an idea.’

  ‘It sounds incredible, Joe, how come we’ve never heard of it?’ Sharif asked. ‘I mean, in that everyone has heard of the pyramids, or Stonehenge?’

  ‘Good question, Sharif. I don’t really know, but I suppose it’s not pushed as much as other sites maybe because of the damage being done just by condensation alone from people’s breath? They mind it well, and they’re strict about not bringing bags in that could brush off the walls and that, but to be honest, I think it’s just another hidden Irish gem.’

  ‘Do you remember being here, Luke, with Mam and Dad, and we had a picnic in the car because it was lashing rain?’ Jen was reminiscing, but Carmel also got the impression she wanted her mother as part of the conversation. It was harder for Jen than Luke, she noticed. Jen missed her mother badly, and the arrival, albeit posthumously, of Dolly had threatened Mary’s memory for a while. Or at least it had changed the narrative of how Mary was remembered. And aside from Dolly’s memory and her relationship with Joe all those years ago, Jen was having a very hard time enduring Zeinab’s attentions to her father now.

  ‘Yeah, we all got soaked, and she had brought spare clothes for everyone except herself,’ Luke said, chuckling at the memory. ‘She had to wear Dad’s old fishing gear, that was the only dry stuff in the boot of the car. She was complaining that she smelled like a trout.’

  ‘Did she?’ Carrie asked, her wide blue eyes innocent.

  Luke did a double take. ‘Did she what?’

  ‘Smell like a trout? Like, does a trout smell? Maybe if he was dead, but then would he smell different to other fish who were also dead?’

  Luke laughed heartily and gave her a hug. Carmel couldn’t decide what to make of her, but her ditziness seemed to delight Luke. For such a smart guy, she seemed like an odd choice, but maybe there was more to her than meets the eye. They’d find out for sure after a few days on the bus anyway.

  ‘It was a great day,’ Jen went on. ‘We went to New Grange and then to the Hill of Tara, and remember, Dad, you used to tell us all the stories about the old kings and queens and warriors long ago, and Mam used to be trying to get you to tone down the violence, but we loved it. The more gruesome the better. Fellas sliding around on the guts of their enemies, all that kind of thing.’

  Carmel turned her head and blinked back tears. It amazed her how emotional she got about her own childhood these days, when, for years, she’d just accepted it as it was and it really didn’t get to her. Sharif said she was thawing from the inside out and finally allowing herself to feel, and maybe he was right. Listening to Jen and Luke reminisce about picnics and day trips with their parents made her so sad. Maybe that was part of her longing to have a baby—so she could finally experience childhood properly.

  Sharif placed his hand on hers, and she looked down at his brown skin, his manicured fingernails and his silver wedding ring. Though Sharif wasn’t a practicing Muslim, the tradition states that men should not wear gold, so when they married, he chose a silver ring. Wedding rings are not part of Islam, but he said he wanted the world to know he was a married man. To this day, she remembered the feeling she got when he said that. For him, it was a casual remark, but for her, it meant so much that he not only wanted to marry her, but that he was proud of her and wanted everyone to know they were together. She leaned her head on his shoulder as they drove along.

  Chapter 14

  Tim took photographs as they approached the massive tomb. It seemed to glisten in the afternoon sunlight. Luke and Carrie fell into step beside him.

  ‘It’s so sparkly, isn’t it?’ Carrie sighed happily.

  ‘That’s the quartzite in the stone,’ Luke explained. ‘That’s how they know how far they brought the stones, because the nearest place to get quartzite is in the Dublin mountains, miles away. They think they rolled them on logs over land. I think that’s how they did it, anyway, but maybe you know more about it, Tim?’

  ‘I was never here before—sure, what am I saying?’ Tim adjusted the lens on his camera. ‘I was never anywhere in Ireland but Mayo—and Dublin, the day I got the boat to England.’

  ‘But Carmel was telling me you travelled all over the world with Uncle Brian,’ Luke protested.

  Tim smiled at the memories. ‘We certainly did. We’ve been all over Asia, Australia, Africa, the States… We even went to Antarctica one time on a boat, three weeks out of Ushuaia, Argentina. I was sick as a parrot the whole time, but it was worth it.’

  ‘I’d love to hear about those trips sometime. We knew he travelled a lot, but to be honest, he was a bit cagey when you asked him about his travels. He was a great guy, but we learned not to pry, y’know?’ Luke helped Carrie over some rough ground because the high-heeled wedges she was wearing were totally unsuitable for the terrain.

  Tim sighed. ‘It makes me sad to hear that, Luke. He wasn’t naturally reticent, but he was always trying to protect me and so he had to hold back from all of you.’

  ‘Protecting you from what?’ Carrie asked.

  Luke reddened a little; he obviously had not told her the story.

  ‘Er... Well…’ Luke stumbled. He was absolutely fine with Tim being gay, but it wasn’t his story to tell.

  ‘It’s OK, Luke,’ Tim said kindly. ‘Brian, Luke’s uncle, was my partner for fifty years. But before he and I got together, I was married and had kids. It’s complicated.’ He shrugged.

  ‘And are your kids here?’ Carrie asked.

  ‘No, they live in England, but I don’t see them, to be honest. They aren’t comfortable around
me.’

  ‘Just because you’re gay?’ Carrie was flabbergasted.

  ‘Yes. I believe that’s the reason.’ Tim bent down to get a better angle of the tomb.

  ‘That’s crazy,’ Carrie said. ‘You should so say something. I mean, look how the Kardashians took the news about Bruce Jenner becoming Caitlin, like they were totally fine about it, and he actually looks good as a woman. You should just ask them straight out if they’re homophobic. Like, it might be totes awks for, like, ten seconds, but then they’d probably have been cool. And if they’re not, well, then it’s their loss, right? Like, I get that things were different in the olden days. But they don’t know what they’re missing. I don’t really know you yet, but I think you’re lovely, and I’d say Brian must have been crazy about you ’cause you are like really fit, for an old guy. Like Sean Connery kinda, y’know? Being gay is just so cool right now—my personal trainer, Darryl–he’s so ripped, I mean, it’s just awesome—but anyway, he’s got this Puerto Rican boyfriend who is a dog counsellor. Well, he specialises in poodles actually, they suffer a lot from anxiety, but anyway, he’s like really old, forty or something, and his mum and him go shopping together and everything. Your kids are losing out if they won’t have you in their lives. But look at this gang you’ve got here. Like, all of Lukie’s family seem like they totally want you in their crew so, like, let people go who don’t want to know you. As Taylor Swift says, “Haters gonna hate.”’

  ‘Well, that is probably the most sensible take I’ve ever heard on the subject, Carrie,’ Tim replied without a trace of sarcasm. ‘And you know what? You’re dead right.’

  Carrie went to examine some ‘neat little flowers’ and was busy making a Snapchat story as Tim and Luke stood gazing at the ancient edifice.

  ‘She’s a bit quirky...’ Luke said with a grin.

  ‘There’s more to Miss Carrie than meets the eye, Luke. I can see why you like her.’ Tim was anxious to put the younger man at ease.

  ‘I really like her, and I know she can come across a bit daft, but honestly, she’s great, and so loyal and decent and honest. And she might come across a bit… I dunno… But she is really wise about things. She gives me great advice. I trust her, y’know? I’m not seeing her that long, and I’m away during the week, so I only see her at the weekends really, and we don’t know each other that well, but I really like her. Jen can’t stand her, though. I know by the face of her. I just want them to give her a chance.’

  ‘Look, I’m no expert, but I have been around forever, so here’s my tuppence worth if you want to hear it?’

  Luke smiled. ‘Go on.’

  ‘She seems like a really nice girl, certainly no malice in her, and she is beautiful looking, even I can see that.’ He chuckled. ‘The others might think she’s a bit off the wall, but they’ll be kind, and once they see what she’s really about they’ll see why you like her so much. Trust her. I think she’ll surprise you.’

  ‘If my sister doesn’t choke her first. She’s protective of me even if I don’t need it.’ Luke shrugged.

  Jen appeared then at his shoulder. Damian and Sean were slowly making their way up since the toddler was insisting on walking himself rather than sitting in the stroller, which would have been so much faster.

  ‘I’ll probably try to choke who, might I ask?’ She held her hand up to her eyes to shield the strong evening sun.

  Luke glanced in Carrie’s direction and gave a nod of his head.

  ‘Ah, I see.’ Jen nodded sagely.

  ‘Well, I don’t know what to say to you, little brother. You’ve picked some beauties in your time, but this one takes the biscuit. Like, is she actually that thick or is it an act or what?’

  Tim saw Luke bristle. Sure, Carrie did come across as a bit of an airhead, but he wasn’t happy with his sister slagging her off so harshly.

  ‘And you’re brain of Ireland, are you? Don’t be such a cow, Jen. She’s a nice girl, and what did she ever do to you? She’s trying to be nice, why can’t you do the same?’

  Jennifer reeled at the quick turnabout. She was hurt but lashed out at Luke. ‘Well, we all know what part of your anatomy has been doing the thinking lately. She’s a muppet and you know it, Luke, and I can’t believe you’re inflicting her on us for the whole trip. You never even asked Dad if she could come along.’

  Luke knew about his sister’s quick temper, and she was well and truly riled now.

  ‘It’s none of my business, I know…’

  The siblings both turned their gazes to Tim, who worried he was sticking his nose in where it wasn’t wanted. But he did remember that Irish families were more expressive than British ones. English people valued the stiff upper lip, being stoic and all of that, where the Irish tended to say what they felt.

  ‘But I don’t think you two want to fall out?’ he ventured. ‘This is an emotional trip for all of us, in different ways, so maybe we need to try to, I don’t know, be a bit more understanding. Look, what do I know? Nothing, except that you two love each other and this is a silly argument. So my advice is to just let it go, and we’ll all enjoy ourselves.’

  They both stood in silence.

  ‘I will if she will.’ Luke gazed at a spot over Jen’s head.

  ‘Fine, it’s your funeral.’ Jen sighed, and Tim shot her a warning glance. ‘Fine, fine, I’ll play nice. Just watch—we’ll be totes, like, besties.’ She nudged her brother to show she was just fooling around.

  ‘Thanks.’ He gave her a quick hug.

  The group assembled at the entrance to the tomb, and a local guide told them the stories of the people long, long ago who lived and died there. This was the heart of Ireland, very close to the Hill of Tara, where the high kings lived ‘in the olden times,’ as Carrie might have put it.

  Carmel found herself feeling pride as Sharif, Nadia and even Zeinab were blown away by the place. This was her country, and even though she’d never been anywhere except Dublin and Birr, she was beginning to feel the beginnings, at least, of national pride in her country.

  And at least Zeinab wasn’t complaining. Quite the opposite, actually; everything was splendid as she sycophantically sucked up to Joe.

  The rest of the day passed wonderfully as the sun shone on the lush green fields and stone walls. In the evening, Joe took them by Clonmacnoise, a gorgeous monastic settlement from the 7th century on the banks of the River Shannon, the longest in Ireland.

  ‘I knew Ireland was beautiful, everyone says so, but honestly, it is breathtaking,’ Nadia remarked as she and Carmel sat on a dry stone wall watching the late evening sun set behind the huge round tower of Clonmacnoise, bathing the entire place in its buttery glow. Tim was taking more photos, and Luke and Carrie were messing around in the old church, laughing. Jen and Damien had gone to the cafe to get a snack for Sean, and Zeinab looked like she was holding court with Sharif and Joe.

  ‘It is, and to be honest, I had no idea,’ Carmel admitted. ‘I can’t believe I lived here for forty years and had no inkling it was like this. I mean, I could have come, I suppose, or found out about it on the internet or something, but I just never did. I feel like a very poor ambassador.’ She smiled.

  ‘Well, Joe is doing a great job,’ Nadia assured her. ‘I don’t know how he manoeuvres that big bus around those tiny roads, not to mention all he knows about the country. He’s better than any professional tour guide, I’m sure. And he’s gone to so much trouble.’

  ‘I know, he’s amazing, isn’t he? And everyone is getting along so well. I was kind of dreading it, to be honest, but so far so good.’ Carmel was trying to bring the conversation around to Nadia and Zeinab. She knew Nadia would enjoy the holiday so much more if Zeinab wasn’t getting on her nerves so much.

  ‘Well, everyone but my sister,’ Nadia grumbled. ‘I know, I’m trying not to let her get to me, but the way she’s fawning over Joe, I just want to throttle her.’

  Carmel wondered just for a moment if there wasn’t more to the story. Initially, when Joe and Nadia
had met, Carmel thought there might have been a spark between them, but she’d dismissed it. They did get along very well, though, and liked a lot of the same things, but they seemed happy to be friendly. Nadia had no contact with him except when Carmel was there, she was sure of that. But she was starting to think that maybe Nadia’s frustration wasn’t just embarrassment at the obviousness of her sister’s flirting but also maybe a little tinge of jealousy? Joe was lovely to everyone, and he had a way of making whoever he was talking to feel like they were the most important person on earth, including Zeinab.

  ‘But at least it means she’s on her best behaviour, right? She doesn’t want Joe to think badly of her, so she’s being extra nice. That can only be a good thing, can’t it?’ Carmel’s eyes searched her mother-in-law’s face.

  Nadia sighed. ‘I suppose so.’ She gazed downwards as she spoke, not looking at Carmel. ‘I’m just... I don’t know. This is a big thing for you, to come back here, to connect with your family. And for Tim, as well, and I just wish she wasn’t here. I know it makes me sound so mean and nasty, and as you say, at least she’s not being rude, but the way she is with Joe, it’s embarrassing.’

  Carmel wondered if she should dig a little deeper. She’d lived a whole life of never sticking her nose into anyone else’s business, but she felt close to Nadia. Not just as mother- and daughter-in-law, but woman to woman.

  ‘I don’t think Zeinab is his type,’ Carmel said gently. ‘He’ll just be nice to her for our sakes, and humour her, but it’s not like anything is going to happen between them.’

  Nadia looked up, her brown eyes searching Carmel’s face.

  ‘Do you like him?’ The words were out before Carmel even knew it.

  Nadia grew flustered and reddened. ‘It’s not that. She’s just so irritating. I just wish she could act normally.’ She glanced around. ‘We’d better get back, it’s getting late and we need to get to the hotel.’