Private Pleasures [The Doms of Sybaris Cove 8] (Siren Publishing Ménage Everlasting)

by Tara Rose

  They would make this work, and they would help Mattie put her past in perspective. Maybe one day she’d even start to forget some of it, or at least it wouldn’t have the same sting as it now did. Felipe knew she’d always have scars from it, but he was determined to do everything he could to ease the pain of what she’d endured, for as long as she’d let him be in her life.

  Chapter Ten

  The rest of the week, Mattie fell easily into the routine of eating lunch with Rey and Felipe, and spending the night at one of their homes. She went home briefly most mornings before driving to work so she could check on Bruce and Babs.

  By Tuesday night of the second week, the three were talking about how much easier this would be if they lived together, and Mattie had a few moments of panic that she tried not to show them, but they were too sharp for that.

  “It’s only an observation,” said Felipe. “We wouldn’t ask you to do something like that unless you were ready.”

  “I’m sorry.” She took a seat in the nearest chair. “It’s just…this is moving very quickly.”

  Felipe and Rey exchanged a glance, and Mattie didn’t need to ask to know they were worried about her.

  Rey knelt in front of her so he was eye level, and then he took her hands. “What can we do to make this better right now?”

  “Nothing. I mean, you don’t have to do anything. Just be patient with me.”

  He pulled her close and held her. “Mattie, you got it. Always. This is on your terms, not ours. Everything is okay. Honestly it is.”

  She glanced toward Felipe, standing on her right, and smiled at him, but she could sense his anxiety. Had it really only been just over a week since she’d had dinner with them and then made love to them both? It didn’t seem possible. She’d never had such a whirlwind romance. But then, they weren’t strangers. What was she getting all upset over? It’s not like they’d ordered her to sell her condo and move today.

  Her next session with Vivian was in the morning. Mattie made a mental note to bring up this topic first thing. She had no idea what it was triggering, but she needed to find out. She hadn’t moved in with Clay until after they’d dated long-distance for five years, so she didn’t think that was it. But then again, maybe it was? Because the night she moved into his house in Alabama was the first time she really noticed his temper.

  Could it really be that cut and dry?

  Mattie pulled out of Rey’s embrace. “I have to tell you both this. I didn’t live with Clay until I graduated from veterinary college and came to Alabama to work. His home was in the same compound as his parents’ house. The night I moved in, I was carrying too many boxes at once and lost my grip on one. It fell over the railing and landed on a table in the foyer, shattering a vase he had on that table. The vase was Ming dynasty and worth over one million dollars. Why he had it sitting on a table in a foyer is beyond me.”

  “Holy shit,” said Felipe. “I always thought that was an exaggeration. Those really expensive vases that people have lying around their homes.”

  “Oh no. Not in Madison, Alabama, at any rate. So he went ballistic, and of course I felt like shit. And I chalked up his anger to the very real fact that I’d just accidentally broken a rare vase.”

  “Did he hit you that first night?” asked Rey, his gaze sharp.

  She shook her head. “No. But he yelled at me for over an hour and called me ‘clumsy’ plus a few other choice words. He filed an insurance claim for it and was reimbursed, but that’s not the point. Apparently the vase was a gift from his parents at one time so it also had sentimental value. And of course when they found out, I got the disapproving looks and snide remarks all over again.”

  “Do you honestly think what happened justified his reaction?”

  Rey’s voice was gentle, but she caught the undertone. Three years ago if someone had asked her that question, she would have said yes. But not now. Mattie shook her head. “No. I mean okay…it was one-of-a-kind, but it’s only a possession. And if it’s that precious and rare, you don’t stand it on a narrow table in a foyer, under the stair railing, and next to a mirror. You put it somewhere safer.”

  “Thank you for telling us,” said Felipe.

  “I can’t help wondering if that’s why I reacted this way when you two started talking about me moving in with you.”

  Felipe bent down and gave her a tight hug. “Well, I can understand that. But Rey and I don’t have any million dollar vases sitting around, so I think you’re safe.”

  “Yeah. I keep my rare vases behind thick glass.”

  She pulled out of Felipe’s embrace and gave Rey a grin. “Really? How did I miss your vase collection?”

  He waggled his eyebrows. “You missed the pretentious room on the tour, that’s how.”

  Mattie chuckled. “Thank you, both of you. I don’t know how you do it, but you always make me smile.”

  “That’s our mission,” said Felipe. “To always bring a smile to your pretty face.”

  * * * *

  Thursday morning, Mattie went home to check on Bruce and Babs, and while she drove to work she texted Rey and Felipe to tell them the exciting news that Babs had laid her eggs overnight. The guys were thrilled, and Mattie spent nearly half an hour texting back and forth with each because they had so many questions. She finally had to remind them that she had patients to see and would talk to them later.

  The guys had meetings all day long so Mattie had brought her lunch that day, and went outside to eat even though the days weren’t quite warm yet. But the sun was shining, and as she lifted her face upward to let it warm her skin, she smiled as she thought about all the changes in her life that had occurred these past two weeks.

  It wasn’t only having Rey and Felipe in her life as more than friends. Just being home again had given her a sense of comfort and peace that hadn’t existed, even when she’d lived here before going away to school. Everything had changed, and yet it was still home. But she no longer lived day-to-day with the horrible knowledge of what her uncle was doing to her mother, and her fantasies of being with Rey and Felipe had become reality.

  Each day, it became easier not to think about the time she’d spent hiding out in Athens while she waited for the divorce to become final. She no longer jumped at noises, or watched every vehicle she’d never seen before. On an island with less than twelve thousand residents, she’d quickly become accustomed to who drove what. Strangers were a rarity here, and although there were plenty of residents living here now that she hadn’t known as a teen, she now knew them all by sight, at least.

  And tomorrow night, Felipe and Rey were going to try some BDSM play with her. She had no details yet. They’d teased her about it for over a week to the point she was so aroused by the mere thought, that whatever they wanted to do, she was certain she’d love it. They’d promised her safewords, and that they would go very slowly. And she trusted them completely to keep their word.

  That she could acknowledge that fact nearly brought tears to her eyes. She hadn’t known if she’d ever be able to trust anyone, especially a man, again. Those two were everything she’d ever fantasized about, and so much more. It was difficult not to think about what her life might have been like if she’d never met Clay, and instead had come home to work after finishing college.

  Mattie had expressed those musings to Vivian, who warned her that reconstructing a different past for ourselves was just as toxic as not working through the one we’d lived so we could heal from it and move on. Mattie understood now that what Clay had done to her wasn’t her fault, but she still had a rough time accepting the fact that she hadn’t left him sooner.

  Vivian was helping her work through that, and intellectually Mattie knew that battered women felt trapped, guilty, or both and that’s why they stayed. But Mattie found it difficult to reconcile her behavior with the fact that she had an advanced degree and should have known better.

  While she could accept on a theoretical level that all the college degrees in the world didn�
�t equate with the emotional reaction to abuse, there were times she couldn’t stop going over every second of that first time Clay had hit her, and her response to it in the days following. She never should have stayed after that, and she knew that now.

  It would take a long time before she could stop second-guessing her choices. Mattie only hoped her working through that issue wouldn’t get in the way of her relationship with Felipe and Rey, although she already knew there was no way to separate the two. Her past would always be her past. But Rey and Felipe were just as determined as she was to help her make sense of it. That was the difference between being in a toxic relationship, and being in a loving one.

  Her cell phone chirped to remind her it was time to go back inside, and that pulled her out of her reverie. Mattie gathered up the remnants of her lunch and rose, glancing around the alley behind the clinic. There were usually a few seagulls lurking about, hoping someone would toss a sandwich crust or anything else their way, and today was no exception.

  She threw them the bread she’d saved, as well as a few crackers she hadn’t eaten, then smiled as they squawked and fought over who would eat it. “You know, if you guys would simply share your food with each other, this would be a lot easier.”

  As she turned to head back inside, movement at the end of the alley caught her eye. A man stood near the entrance, watching her. Mattie froze as fear spread through her limbs, numbing them. If felt like someone had doused her with ice water. He was too far away to see his face, but she knew it wasn’t Rey or Felipe. There was something horribly familiar about the way his coat collar was turned up, and about his stance.

  She shook her head, her feet rooted to the spot. If only she could see his eyes, then she’d know for sure. But even as she prayed he wouldn’t move toward her, she resisted the urge to go to him. She had to see his face more clearly.

  When he turned away and walked on, she told herself it was only her imagination because she’d been thinking about her life with Clay. But just to be sure, she sprinted toward the end of the alley and gazed down the street in the direction the man had gone.

  He was nowhere in sight. Plenty of other people were out walking around, but she recognized all of them. And none of them had on a dark gray overcoat like the one Clay had always worn. None of them had the collar of their coat turned up, or strolled with that confident swagger she knew so well.

  Mattie’s mouth was bone dry and she could hardly take a full breath. This wasn’t real. It couldn’t be. Her palms were damp so she wiped them on her lab coat and went back into the alley. The seagulls were too close now, probably hoping she had more food, so she shooed them away. Mattie turned around once before going back inside the clinic, but there was no one in the alley.

  Had it been someone else who was simply watching the birds eat, and she’d only thought he resembled Clay? Was she truly losing her mind and there had never been anyone in the alley to begin with?

  He wouldn’t come here. The man would never get on a boat, even for as short a journey as the one hundred miles it took to reach this island from the mainland. And he most definitely would not get on a small plane to fly over the Gulf of Mexico. No way. Every one of his family members had been to Europe more than once, but not Clay. He’d once said that until someone invented a way for him to cross the Atlantic without having to go over the water, he’d live without seeing the other side of the world.

  It had to have been her imagination. There was no other explanation. But as the day wore on, Mattie jumped at unfamiliar noises, and each time a new pet owner walked into the clinic, she held her breath. She hated this. She hadn’t lived this way for months now, and she didn’t want to be this afraid anymore. Everything was going so well, finally.

  Why this? Why now? Was it guilt over her relationship with Felipe and Rey? Were things simply moving too fast and guilt had nothing to do with it? Was it only her defense kicking in, afraid to let her go too far and fall for both men? And how on earth was she supposed to enjoy tomorrow night now, after this?

  She’d have to tell them. It wouldn’t be right not to. That was it. She’d tell them. And then they’d reach the same conclusion she had. That Clay would never come to the island. There was no way to reach it except to cross the water. Yes. That was it. She’d tell Rey and Felipe, and then everything would be as it was. Perfect.

  Chapter Eleven

  Mattie took off early on Friday because she was so nervous about her play date with Felipe and Rey that she knew she wouldn’t be able to give work her full concentration anyway. The night before, both men had confirmed what she’d now convinced herself to be a hallucination brought on by stress. There was no way that Clay was on the island.

  When she arrived home, she checked on Bruce and Babs, and then opened the package the guys had put in her condo while she was at work. They told her they’d done some shopping at the retail store in Phoebe’s Playthings, and she was to wear the outfit in the package. They’d also asked her to eat something before they picked her up. They were picking her up at four, and from there they would go to Felipe’s house to play.

  They’d told her to bring along other clothes and anything else she needed to spend the weekend. Since she hadn’t slept in her own bed for two weeks, that wasn’t even an issue.

  The outfit was so far removed from anything she’d ever consider buying herself that she nearly texted them to tell them there was no way she could wear it, even for them. But the more she looked at it, the more excited she became thinking about how she would look for them in it.

  The corset was exquisite. The deep green color brought out her eyes, and she loved the combination of satin and lace on it. It laced up the front so she was able to get into it by herself. They’d also included lacy shorts, but no panties or even a G-string. The corset barely covered her breasts, and she suspected that was why they’d chosen it. But it was what they’d included with the outfit that had her wondering if she was truly ready for this.

  She held up the long, silk blindfold that matched the corset, and read the note again, in Felipe’s clumsy script.

  Only if you say it’s okay to use. And of course your safewords will apply, and one of us will have his hand on you at all times so you’ll never feel alone. All our love, Felipe and Rey.

  All our love. It wasn’t the first time one of them had signed a quick note like that, and she never read anything into it. But she’d be lying six ways to Sunday if she said she’d never hoped that what they shared might turn into real love one day.

  She’d been infatuated with both of them for as long as she could remember, and it was almost impossible now not to feel love for them. The real kind. Not the kind that binds you to someone for the wrong reasons, or the kind that develops before you realize what kind of a person you’re with. Before you see their true nature emerge.

  This relationship wasn’t like that. It never would be. Mattie knew that, but she held back. And now, this blindfold was in her hands, and if she let them use it on her tonight, it would require more trust than she’d shown anyone in a very long time. This pushed everything up a notch or two…or ten. It took their lovemaking to a new level, not only because she knew tonight would involve play, but also because she wouldn’t know what was coming. She’d have to completely trust them in a way she never had.

  Mattie sat on her bed and twisted the blindfold in her hands. Then she walked in front of her mirror and placed it over her eyes, rolling it up just enough so that she could see what she’d look like with it on her face. It really was pretty, and she could understand the appeal from their point of view. She’d still have her hearing, her sense of touch, and would be able to smell. From what she’d read about BDSM, a sub’s other senses were often enhanced when a Dom used a blindfold.

  That made complete sense to her. When an animal lost its sight, it used other senses to navigate. Mattie believed the animals knew on some level that they could no longer see, but they also knew they could use their hearing, touch, and smell to do every
thing they’d always done. Those senses simply took over. She’d only have the blindfold on a short time. It would be fascinating to experience it.

  She placed the silk back in the box for now and took out the other item they’d included. Of the two, this should be the one to trigger fears and insecurities, but strangely it didn’t. Instead, it turned her on something fierce to imagine them using the Wartenberg wheel on her. This was a wide one, with seven rows of tiny pinpricks instead of only one.

  Mattie rolled it over her arm, shivering at the way it stung and gave her goose bumps at the same time. She tried to imagine what this would feel like on her breasts or pussy lips, and moaned softly. Yes. She would let them use this on her. She wanted to experience everything Rey and Felipe could give her. She trusted them. She would do this, and it would be wonderful.

  * * * *

  Mattie ate a sandwich just before four o’clock, and when the guys arrived, she was ready. They wolf-whistled as they admired her outfit, and then they were in Rey’s Jeep, driving up the hill toward his house. They didn’t speak until they were inside, and then Rey told her to kneel.

  She did, and gazed up at her men. It was right on the tip of her tongue to tell them how much she loved them now, but she didn’t. Just being here, dressed like this, was enough to bring tears to her eyes. They’d shown her so much patience and understanding, and now they were going to fulfill her secret fantasies. They hadn’t pushed her toward this, or made it a condition of anything that had come before it. They’d been willing to wait until she was ready, and that meant more to Mattie than she could express in words.