Secrets, Lies & Imperfections

by Pamela L. Todd

  “Please tell me you aren’t adding stalking to your pickup techniques?”

  I jumped up from the bench and saw Cassidy, looking as pissy as ever. She was now dressed in jeans, white T-shirt and lightweight military-style jacket. I had to admit I liked her in whatever the hell she was wearing. Street clothes, scrubs…but I guessed I still hadn’t seen her in what would be my favorite—skin.

  “Uh,” I stumbled, no words finding their way out. Great. The cocky bastard was struck mute, now of all times. I shook my head in a vain attempt to clear it. “Would you— Will you sit with me for a bit?”

  Her eyes flickered to the bench and the white paper bag. “Why?”

  “I’d like to spend time with you.” Honesty. It was a new technique for me. But this girl would smell bullshit a mile off. So complete honesty it was.

  “And you thought ambushing me outside my work was the best way to go about doing that?” she asked, folding her arms beneath those tits again.

  I scrubbed the back of my neck. “Okay, yeah, it’s kind of stalkerish, but I don’t know anything else about you. I don’t have your number. I could take a chance and hope we run into each other again, but instead I got proactive. Sue me.”

  A laugh bubbled in her throat. “Maybe I should.”

  My smile was more relaxed. “Please, will you sit for a while?”

  She looked again between the bench and me, and for a heartbeat I thought she would walk away. Instead, she gave a little sigh and sat down, leaving the paper bag between us as some sort of barrier.

  “I brought food,” I said, opening the bag. “And coffee.”

  Cassidy laughed again. “Bribery?”

  I shrugged. “I thought about flowers, but I figured you’d get those by the bucketload. And, you were on the night shift. All I want when I finish work is something in my stomach before falling into bed.”

  “You’re right about that. What have you got?”

  “Plenty,” I said with a grin. “Breakfast sandwiches, I have bacon and sausage or egg and mushrooms. Hash browns, fresh donuts, muffins. Take your pick.”

  Cassidy smiled. “I’ll take a bacon and sausage.”

  “Girl after my own heart,” I said, handing her one and getting one for myself.

  We ate in silence for a while, the night giving way to the day. When she finished, Cassidy crumpled the sandwich wrapper into a ball and dropped it back into the bag. She wiped her fingers on a napkin and rubbed her eyes.

  “Long night?” I asked, finishing my own sandwich and reaching for a hash brown.

  “The longest,” she said, even her voice sounding tired. “Some nights are like that. Others are gone in a blink. But we lost someone tonight. It never gets any easier.”

  Jesus. The work she did was admirable. Honorable. She dealt with life and death every day. And I helped people get drunk. What a guy, right? “I’m sorry.”

  Cassidy shrugged. “Comes with the job.”

  I nodded. I offered her one of the coffees. “Coffee?”

  She shook her head. “Thanks, but no. It’ll take forever to fall asleep if I do.”

  “Sweetheart, it’s decaf.”

  Cassidy blinked. “Really?”

  “Yeah. I work nights too, remember?”

  She laughed. “Right. Thank you, then.”

  “Anytime.” And I meant it. “Do you always work nights?”

  “Not all the time. I am for the rest of this week. Next week I’m on days. Who knows after that?” She took a donut. “I don’t mind. I love my job. Never gets boring. What about you? Ever get sick of working all night?”

  “Nah, not really. Anyway, it keeps me out of trouble,” I said, giving her a wink.

  Cassidy rolled her eyes. “Why doesn’t that surprise me?”

  Tipping my head back, I let out a loud groan. “Just when I was changing your mind about me. Damn, I screw everything up.”

  She was quiet for a minute. “I wouldn’t go that far.”

  I frowned. “About which part?”

  Cassidy shrugged. “Any of it? I don’t know. My brain is fried. I need sleep.”

  I couldn’t help but be disappointed. Part of me had expected her to be bowled over by my romantic gesture—the first and only, I might add—and that she would want to sit out here for hours. But to be fair to the girl, she was a nurse who’d worked all night. She was bound to be exhausted. I picked up the bag and removed the container with the muffins and the rest of the donuts. Tossing the rest in a nearby trash can, I used the excuse of no longer having a paper bag between us as a barrier to sit a little closer to Cassidy.

  “Here,” I said, offering her the remaining food. “If you feel like anything else before you go to bed or want them when you wake up.” Cue ball-aching visual of Cassidy standing in a kitchen, wearing nothing but a tank and panties, biting into a muffin and her mouth tasting like blueberries.

  She took them, a tiny smile at play on her lips. “Thanks.”

  I could kiss her now if I wanted. Every bone in my body was screaming for it, the loudest of all the one in my pants that was trying to bust free. All the signals were there. Mouth partly open, eyes wide, pupils dilated, body curved slightly toward mine.

  But I’d misread this girl before. What if I truly fucked things up by pouncing on her now, ruining any future chance I might have?

  “Those look like serious thoughts,” Cassidy said, letting out a quiet, breathy laugh. “Trying to figure out which move to use?”

  I let out a long breath and leaned my elbows on my knees, worrying my hands. “I was thinking about it.”

  “And?” Cassidy asked after a moment.

  “I’m going with a pass on this one.”

  “What? Seriously?”

  She sounded so surprised, and, dare I hope, disappointed, that I sat bolt upright. My next move would either earn me a swift punch to the balls or more ground with Cassidy. I moved closer to her, sliding my arm across the back of the bench and behind her. “I could kiss you right now and you’d be willing. I know exactly what to say to make you relax, to make you want it more. I know what to do to kiss you like you’ve never had it before, to almost guarantee you’d take me home with you.”

  “So why aren’t you?” she asked, barely above a whisper.

  From this close I could see everything I’d missed about her face before. How clear her skin really was, how the caramel shine of her blonde hair was a touch darker at the roots than the rest, the flecks of darker blue amid the iciness of her irises. And holy hell I wanted to know what those lips felt like. Plump and perfect—not too big, not too small. I bet they tasted fan-fuckin-tastic.

  I couldn’t resist touching her a second longer. I brushed my thumb across the satin softness of her cheek. “Because like you asked the last time we saw each other, I barely ever get turned down. I don’t know where I am with you half the time. I’m not going to fuck this up because I’ve misread you and forced myself where I wasn’t wanted.”

  Cassidy swallowed. “So this is it? No more surprise visits outside my work at six in the morning?”

  I snorted a laugh. “Uh, no. It means that when we kiss, you’re going to go first. That way I can’t be accused of playing you, or feeding you a line, or seducing you…whatever. And I want a date. A real one.”

  She laughed, loud and startled. “Oh, is that all? A real date where I have to kiss you?”

  I grinned. “You could kiss me now and get it over with.”

  “I’ll take a rain check, but thanks,” Cassidy said, standing and slinging her purse over her shoulder.

  “You taking off?” I asked, surprised again at how disappointed I was.

  “Hell yes, I feel like the walking dead right now.”

  “Can I walk you to your car?” I jumped to my feet.

  Cassidy laughed. “If I say no, are you just going to follow me anyway?”

  I shook my head. I meant what I’d said to her. From now on, I was taking her lead.

  She sighed. “Come on, Hami
lton. I’m this way.” We walked in silence across the parking lot to a small blue Toyota that had seen better days. “Thanks for breakfast. No one’s ever done that before,” she said, unlocking her door and tossing her purse inside.

  “I try to be unique,” I said, shrugging and feigning modesty. The stupid grin meant I had failed miserably.

  “I think I’m learning that. Good night, then,” she said, getting in and closing the door.

  “Good morning,” I corrected. Shoving my hands in my pockets, I turned and headed for Drew’s car, parked a few rows down.

  “Hey, Seth?”

  I turned back around to see Cassidy leaning out her window.

  “How’s a week from tomorrow?”

  A frown puckered my forehead. What?

  She rolled her eyes. “For the date, dumbass.”

  Halle-fuckin-lujah. “Casa Mia, eight? Sorry, I’m assuming you don’t want me to know where you live yet.”

  Cassidy laughed. “You’re finally getting it.”

  Jogging back over to her car, I leaned my elbows on her open window. “I need your number.”

  She laughed again. “You don’t give up, do you?”

  I grinned. “We’re already going on a date. I can’t have your number too?”

  Cassidy lifted her eyebrows. “What do you want it for? Are you going to call me in the middle of the night, begging me to come slip into your bed?”

  I choked on a laugh. “That wasn’t my first thought. I want it just in case something happens next week.”

  “Backing out?”

  “Not in the least. But knowing my track record with you, something will happen and I won’t make it. You’ll think I stood you up.”

  Cassidy seemed to consider this, and for a second there I really thought she’d tell me to forget everything and drive out of there so goddamn fast she’d take my arms with her. Then she reached into her bag on the passenger seat and handed me her phone.

  Smiling, I pulled mine out of my front pocket and gave it to her. I programmed my number into her phone and took mine back when she did the same. Cassidy turned to face me after dropping the phone back into her bag. “See you next week, then.”

  “Next week.”

  Fucking-A.

  Chapter Eight

  It was finally, torturously Wednesday. Tonight was date night with Cassidy. Jesus. Cassidy. How in the hell had that happened? I’d thought for sure she’d kick my ass as soon as look at me. But here I was, trying in vain to plan a date that would knock her fucking socks off.

  And I couldn’t think of goddamn thing to impress her.

  For eight straight days I’d slowly worked myself into a manic frenzy of nervous energy, childlike anticipation and ass-clenching fear.

  “You look like you’ve just walked into class and found out today was the midterm.”

  I jumped about a mile out of my skin and glared at my soon-to-be sister. “Worse. It’s like I just walked into class a year late and found out today is the fucking final.”

  Marley grimaced. “Tough break. Want to talk about it?”

  I shook my head. No way was I lame enough to beg her for tips like a junior high kid about to go on his first date.

  She shrugged. “Suit yourself. Sometimes you have to admit that maybe somebody else in class has the answers.”

  Snorting a laugh, I glanced up to see if she was serious. She was. She looked more serious than I’d seen her in a while. And Marley could be plenty serious when she needed to. Like, for example, when she was chewing me out for whatever I’d done or when she was dealing with assholes trying to gatecrash one of her events. But now there was a crease between her eyebrows and shadows under her eyes.

  Whatever point she was at with Blake, I had a feeling she wouldn’t be there for much longer.

  “Maybe you don’t have all of them.” The second the words were out of my mouth I wanted to eat them.

  Marley reared back as though I’d backhanded her.

  I let out a heavy breath. “Fuck, Marley, I didn’t mean that as harsh as it sounded. I just meant…hell, I don’t know what I meant. I don’t know any of the goddamn answers and you—Jesus, you do. And you aren’t using them. You’re flunking on purpose.”

  She blinked in quick succession.

  I shot up from my seat at the island. “Oh, fuck, don’t do that.”

  “Do what?” she asked, scowling.

  “Cry for God’s sake.” Oh holy hell, I couldn’t deal if she cried. The only other girl I’d ever made cry—in my presence, anyway, who knew what they did when I wasn’t around—was Maisy Carter in the second grade when I’d accidentally tripped her and she tore half the skin off her shins on the playground.

  Marley snarled and threw a dish towel at me. “What, just because I’m a woman I’m going to cry? Fuck you, Seth.”

  “So…you’re not going to cry?”

  She gave me a look.

  My ass contracted.

  “That was the smartest thing I’ve heard you say. Part of me is aware, knows I’m doing it, but I can’t stop,” Marley said, her voice dropping to a whisper.

  Blake walked into the kitchen, pausing as he opened the refrigerator door and looked between Marley and me. He caught on to the tension in a freaking nanosecond. “What’s going on?”

  I waved my hand in her direction. “Marley’s being all superior because I need her help. I’m going on my first date in about ten years and I have no fucking clue what to do.”

  The thanks was all over Marley’s face. Least I could do for that moment that I cared to never, ever repeat.

  Blake laughed and folded his arms across his chest, leaning against the fridge door. “You are going on a date? A real one? Not just drinks somewhere and taking someone home?”

  I blew out a breath. “Yeah, douchebag. A real date.”

  Blake opened his mouth, a smirk on it that made my hackles rise. He jammed his hands into his pockets. “Where are you taking her?”

  “Casa Mia,” I said after a beat, surprised he didn’t try to antagonize me further. “We’re meeting there. She doesn’t want me to know where she lives.”

  There was a loaded pause where everyone in the room held their breath. I glanced at my brother and his jaw clenched.

  “Oh, Christ, Blake, just let it out already,” I said, waving my hand in his direction.

  Blake barked out the bellowing laughter that must have physically hurt to keep inside. Tears streamed down his face and he clutched his sides, laughing even harder than the time he had convinced me to bury my life’s savings in the backyard so it would grow. Yeah, should have drawn a map because when I had gone back to check on its progress a week later, I hadn’t been able to remember where I’d buried it. Blake had almost fucking died when had seen me, mumbling to myself and digging up random spots of Mom’s flowerbed. Until I had told him I’d buried his too, then he’d almost killed me.

  “Okay, dinner. Then what?” Blake asked, rubbing his eyes.

  “Then I have no clue.”

  “Why Casa Mia?” Marley asked. “I had you pegged for a steakhouse, no frills kind of guy.”

  I shrugged. “Girls like that shit, right? Flashy, impressive, somewhere they might not have gone before.”

  Marley wrapped her arms around her middle. “Girls like the truth. Be yourself. Don’t bullshit her. She’ll smell it a mile off. Honesty. It works.”

  Blake laughed, quiet and without humor. “That’s rich.”

  She turned that frosty glare in his direction. “Excuse me?”

  He met her stare head-on. “Honesty. That is bullshit. You know what you want to know and ignore the rest.”

  “It’s hard to know it all when people don’t give you the entire picture.”

  Blake took a step forward before glancing in my direction. “I’m not doing this again.”

  “Walk away. You’ve gotten plenty of practice lately,” Marley mumbled.

  His shoulders tensed on his way out of the room but didn’t throw back e
verything he must have been thinking.

  The tension thickened in the kitchen. Marley offered me a smile that held no warmth. “Good luck tonight.”

  I still remember the phone call when Mom had told me Blake was getting married. She had gushed for almost two hours about how happy he was. How amazing Marley was. How she’d never seen Blake like this before. It was such a relief for her to see one of her sons settled down and with the right girl.

  Blake and Marley.

  It meant forever.

  And look at them.

  Fucking look at them.

  If this was what they were going through—this couple that was meant to be stable, unmovable—then how on earth was it conceivable for me to go out there and take Cassidy on a real goddamn date?

  Cassidy was right. I didn’t do this. I didn’t chase a piece of ass and fucking beg to take her out.

  So what the hell was I doing?

  * * * *

  Two hours later, I was standing outside Casa Mia, tugging at the tie that was too tight and wishing I’d suggested the fucking steakhouse like Marley had said. The stupid bunch of flowers I’d bought on impulse on my way over were ostentatious and I already regretted buying them.

  I was seriously considering getting rid of them when a familiar blue Toyota pulled up in the valet section. Cassidy got out, her legs seemingly endless in a figure-hugging blue dress and black high heels that showcased those legs to the max. She gave her keys to the valet and tucked the ticket into her purse.

  She smoothed down the front of her dress before striding over, hips swaying in hypnotic movements. Cassidy smiled when she reached me, looking a hell of a lot more relaxed than I felt. She’d gone to a lot of effort tonight. Her hair was loosely curled, eyes framed with liner and mascara. Cassidy looked like a billion dollars and I couldn’t stop thinking about my tie slowly tightening to choke me.

  Cassidy laughed softly. “You look nervous.”

  Well, shit. I was nervous as hell. But I didn’t want her to know that. Grinning, I shoved the flowers into her arms, almost smacking her in the face with the damn things. “I’m fucking stunned. You’ve stunned me.”

  Her eyebrows shot up. “I guess I’ll take that as a compliment.”