Secrets, Lies & Imperfections

by Pamela L. Todd

  Man, that turned me on. I’d never had a girl get protective of me before.

  I dropped my hand onto her knee under the table. She twisted her head to give me a smile, a genuine one, and placed her hand on top of mine. I wanted to kiss her, and not the kind that was appropriate for the dinner table.

  I missed Billy’s.

  “Cassidy, Marley tells me that you’re a nurse. That must be such an exhausting but fulfilling, job,” Mom said, capturing Cassidy’s attention. Of course Mom had noticed the tension between Blake and Cass. She’d been married to Anthony Hamilton for a couple of decades and knew how to diffuse most volatile situations with subtle conversation changes.

  It worked like a charm. I wasn’t fooled for a second that Cassidy didn’t know exactly what Mom was doing, but she went with the flow and launched into a rundown of her job.

  “How is the club doing, Seth?” Dad asked, pulling my attention from Cass.

  “Great. It couldn’t be better.” Especially since there hadn’t been any more losses. “Profits are up and we’re busier than ever.”

  “Seth’s done an amazing job with the place,” Marley said, peering around Blake to look at Dad. “We’ve had so many more event requests since the last few have gone so well.”

  “It’s good of you to put in all that work for someone else’s business,” Dad said, swirling around the scotch in his glass.

  Hit Number One. What would the number be by the end of the night? “I’m good where I am right now, Dad.”

  He lifted a single eyebrow but didn’t say anything else about it. Instead, he turned to Blake to ask about the new client he’d taken on, and what his plans were for building his brand.

  There were upsides to Dad’s expensive tastes. The Krug table had extraordinary views of the kitchen as they prepared all ten of our courses. We were checked on frequently throughout the meal, including by the chef himself.

  There were no awkward silences during dinner, but there were plenty of times where I would have happily thrown down my napkin and dragged Cassidy from the place. Whatever peace Dad and I had come to regarding my future was now officially over. I’d dicked around at the club for long enough in his eyes.

  But at least for Cassidy, it didn’t seem too painful a night. Mom and Marley kept her engaged in friendly conversation, and by the end, I knew she wasn’t faking…when it came to them, at least. I did notice that it took a little more effort as the night wore on to keep up her charming manners. With every subtle insult, every condescension, her body grew more tense.

  When we could finally make our escape, she threaded her fingers with mine and told Mom and Marley she’d see them soon for that lunch date they needed to organize. I kissed Marley’s temple and wished her a happy birthday again, and let Mom pull me into a fierce hug. Dad and Blake nodded their farewell.

  Cassidy was quiet as we exited the restaurant, and seemed thoughtful as we waited for the car to be brought around. She stared out of the window when she got in, before turning to me and giving me a soft look. “Can we go somewhere? I’m not ready to go home yet.”

  “I know just the place.”

  The park was about twenty minutes west of the city and looked down on a spectacular view of the Strip. It was a place I’d gone to a lot in my formative years, whenever Dad was on my ass about something or I just needed a break from reality.

  “Was it as bad as expected?” I asked once we’d parked the car. The overhead light faded until we were in near darkness.

  Cassidy was silent for a moment, as though choosing her answer carefully. “I really liked your mom. It’s obvious how much she loves you.”

  “You didn’t like Blake too much, did you?”

  She blew out a breath. “He seems like a really nice guy when he wants to be. And it’s clear how in love with Marley he is. The way he looks at her…it’s pure adoration. But I can’t forget about that bruise, Seth. He fucking hit you and that is not okay. God, and the fact that he gangs up on you with your dad. It’s fucking bullshit.”

  “He doesn’t mean it. Not as much as Dad, at least.”

  “And that’s supposed to be a good thing? Okay, he doesn’t mean it. He still says it. That’s just as bad in my book.”

  “Man, I like you all riled up,” I said, taking her hand, which was clenched into a fist on her thigh. I laced my fingers with hers and kissed her knuckles. “You’re all protective and shit. It’s hot.”

  Cassidy huffed. “I’m not all riled up.”

  I laughed. “Sure looks like you are. You’re sitting there like a pissed-off, hissing kitten.”

  She turned her head to look at me, not a single drop of anger in her eyes. “I’m not pissed off, Seth. I’m really fucking sad.” Cassidy unclipped her seatbelt and climbed over the center console. Placing her knees either side of my thighs, she straddled me and slid her hands up my chest to cup my throat. Cassidy leaned forward and brushed her lips across mine.

  I grasped her hips as she pressed down on my thickening erection. She rocked forward, creating delicious friction, and parted my lips with her tongue. She slipped inside my mouth, giving me long, languorous strokes.

  I wrapped my arms around her lower back, holding her to me all the tighter, and she sighed into my mouth. It was as if she were rubbing away all the raw pain she thought my father and brother had inflicted. What she didn’t know was that I was used to it. I’d developed a thick skin over the years and that dinner tonight was nothing compared to what I’d experienced in the past.

  Disappointing my family was what I was good at. Why change the habit of a lifetime?

  Cassidy caught my bottom lip between her teeth and gave an agonizing roll of her hips. “I want you,” she whispered.

  “You have me,” I whispered back. “All of me.”

  “Do I?” she asked, searching my eyes, as though looking for the truth in my words.

  I nodded and lifted one hand to cradle her cheek. She sighed and dropped her forehead to mine. “You have everything, Cass. Every single piece of whatever makes me me. You make me feel like that’s worth something, like I have something to give.”

  She kissed me, lingering for a few seconds. “You’re worth everything, Seth. In the beginning, I never wanted to give you a chance. Part of me hated guys like I thought you were, and another part knew that if I let you, you’d have the potential to really hurt me.”

  “I could never hurt you. Ever. I’d rather fucking burn.”

  Cassidy smiled, though it wobbled at the edges. “I know. Really, I do. I’m so glad I gave us a chance.”

  “I’m grateful every damn day that you did,” I said, stroking my thumb across her lip. “I’m probably going to destroy the mood right now, but I have to ask something that’s bothered me. Who hurt you, Cass? I know someone has, and I also know that it somehow made you stronger. But it’s driving me nuts thinking that some asshole out there did something to you.”

  She dropped her eyes and didn’t move, didn’t even breathe for a few long seconds. “You’re a lot more perceptive than people give you credit for,” she said quietly.

  “Only because when it comes to you, I’m looking so damn hard.”

  Cassidy chuckled. She released a shaky breath. “The reason I hate guys like I thought you were is because I’ve been with one before. Cocky, arrogant and charming… He knew exactly what to say, what to do, to get me to trust him. I was flattered, you know? This gorgeous guy was paying me attention, and like a total idiot, I let him decimate my common sense.

  “I gave him my virginity.” Cassidy laughed and I heard the raw emotion she was trying to hold back. “And the second he got it, he took it and ran. Everyone at school found out, and overnight I was that girl. I lost friends…became withdrawn. By the time I realized I was pregnant, I felt like the loneliest person in the world.”

  At first I wasn’t sure I’d heard her right.

  She let the words settle around us like a layer of snow, silencing the outside. I didn’t have any idea what
to say, and really, what words can take the pain out of something like that? I brushed my thumb across her face, hoping I could pour into my touch what I couldn’t express with my mouth.

  “I was fifteen.” Her voice broke. The first tear slid down her cheek and I caught it.

  “Fuck, Cass,” I said, my own voice thick. “I’m sorry.”

  “My parents were furious. The guy didn’t want to know. I was terrified.” Cassidy trembled and I rubbed her arm, wishing I could pull the bad feelings out of her and fucking stomp them into the dirt. “I knew I couldn’t give a child what it deserved at fifteen. My parents wanted me to keep the baby. They said they’d help me with everything, but I knew they would take over and it would be like it was theirs. I needed a clean break. I found an amazing couple that had been trying for eight years to have their own kid. The first time I met them, I knew they could give my baby everything that I couldn’t.”

  She scrubbed under her eyes and sighed, a heartbreakingly sad and defeated noise. “On January eighteenth I gave birth to a tiny baby boy. His adoptive parents were there for every second. When it was over, his mom kissed me and thanked me for giving them the greatest privilege they could ever receive. She told me that they would never disappear from my life, that they wouldn’t contact me, but they were there when I was ready. At first I couldn’t ever imagine seeing them again. I thought it would be too hard. I thought I would be better off not knowing. But three years ago I couldn’t stand the wondering. I had to know if he was happy.”

  Cassidy laughed. “He’s amazing, Seth. Eight years old and quick as a whip. I’ve never met him, not in the flesh. But his parents keep scrapbooks so I never miss a milestone. They’re truly amazing people and they want me to know their son. They plan on telling him when he’s older that he’s adopted, and they want that line of communication open with me if he ever wants to find out who I am. I’ll never push myself into his life. I’m here if he’s ever curious, but it’s okay if he never is. I don’t regret my choice. I never have.”

  I had no fucking clue what to say. She had absolutely floored me.

  “I don’t want you to look at me any differently,” Cassidy said quietly.

  “How can I not, Cass?” I asked. She dropped her eyes again and I took her face between my hands to tilt her head back. “You’ve shown me again how unbelievable you are. You’re strong, you’re determined and you’re sexy as fucking sin. You give me a hard time and you have smart mouth…none of that has changed for me. Except now I know how remarkable you are. So, yeah, I’ll look at you differently. Because I find it truly unbelievable that you’re with a loser like me.”

  Cassidy sniffed. “You’re not a loser, Seth.”

  I grinned. “The fact that you think that proves how unbelievable you are.”

  She laughed. “Do you still want me?”

  The smile fell from my face. I took one of her hands and slid it between our bodies until it met my rock-hard dick. “Does it feel like I still want you? Cass, Jesus Christ, you could tell me that you used to be a member of a cult, that you sometimes like to murder ducklings and I would still want you. That will never, ever change.”

  “Good,” she said, and squeezed me through my jeans. “Never stop wanting me.”

  “I swear to you.”

  “Thank you,” Cassidy whispered as she leaned forward to kiss me. “You have all of me, too.”

  My heart skipped a beat. It felt as if my chest had expanded to five times its regular size as it swelled with pride. This girl, this fucking amazing girl, was really mine.

  I captured her mouth in a hungry kiss, thrusting my tongue inside and devouring her. Cassidy cried out and clutched my shoulders as she squirmed on my lap. I trailed my fingers up her smooth thighs until they disappeared under her dress. She rocked her hips, seeking my touch. Cassidy sighed as I shifted her lace panties to the side and my fingers met her slick pussy.

  Fuck, she was primed. She gasped as I pushed two fingers inside her lush heat and moved against my hand.

  “Jesus, I want you,” I said with a growl. “I want to be inside you.”

  Cassidy grabbed the bottom of her dress and shimmied it up until it was level with her hips. “Then get in me.”

  I pushed in deeper with my fingers and she moaned, throwing her head back. The windows of the car started to fog up with our heavy breathing and I thanked the powers that be that I’d bought the damn thing in the first place.

  She lunged for the buttons of my jeans, popping them open and shoving her hand inside. Cassidy grinned, a slow, feline smile. “You’re not wearing underwear.”

  I pressed down on her clit with my thumb. “If you like it, I’ll never wear them again.”

  Cassidy cried out and fisted my cock in her hand as I pumped her faster, driving us both to the edge. She came, moaning my name and softening in my arms. I lifted my hips and she shoved my jeans down.

  She positioned herself above my dick and slowly impaled herself. Cassidy held my gaze as she started to move, lifting herself up before slamming back down. I thrust my hips up to meet hers and I gritted my teeth, knowing she was going to finish me in seconds.

  I guided her hips to aid her movements, watching as she rode me hard. I couldn’t take my eyes off her as she came undone for the second time, fucking me faster and faster until we both fell apart.

  She squeezed me with her inner muscles as I filled her with my release until I shuddered, exhausted and spent. Cassidy dropped her head into the crook of my neck, panting and her body shaking. “Fuck, Seth.”

  Sliding my arms around her back, I pinned her to my chest. “Yeah, Cass. I know.” We stayed like that for an immeasurable length of time. I felt raw and oddly vulnerable. Like the layers I showed the world had been stripped away and now she saw me.

  I wondered if she felt the same, because now I saw her so much clearer than I had before. I was done for when it came to this girl. She now held my fucking heart in her grip.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  I was walking on air. The sun was shining and my world was full of rainbows and fucking unicorn farts—or something like that. Whatever. Life was great. I had the best girl on my arm, the club was doing better than ever and my brother was getting married in less than a week.

  And I had the best wedding present for them.

  It was a Tuesday night and the place was packed as though it were a Saturday. I had put in place midweek specials and they were paying off. If things kept up, I’d need to do more hiring again. As it was, I’d been behind the bar for the last two hours and it didn’t look like I’d be escaping any time soon.

  I was mixing a cocktail when Ashley squeezed in front of me to get past, ignoring the fact there was plenty of room behind me.

  “Excuse me, boss,” she murmured, her voice low and husky.

  Biting back a sigh, I stepped away from her and refused to acknowledge her game. I served the customer her drink and took the cash.

  “I’ll take a Lemon Drop and your phone number.”

  I was still pulling the customer’s change when someone else thought the correct bar etiquette was to shout her order. It also wasn’t the first time I’d been propositioned while working behind the bar, but it was the first time it pissed me off. I handed my customer her change and turned to give an icy-cold glare to the pushy woman who couldn’t wait.

  Instead, I stared into Cassidy’s beaming face.

  “Well? Can I have a Lemon Drop?”

  A slow grin spread across my face. “What? Don’t you want my number anymore?”

  She laughed. “I don’t really need it, do I?”

  “Nope,” I said, leaning across the bar to kiss her quickly. I wanted to do more than a fast peck, but that was the downside of being the boss. Setting an example and all that jazz. “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming in? I’d have gotten Marley to put you on the guest list.”

  Cassidy shrugged. “It was a last-minute sort of thing. And she saw me anyway, waved me and my girlfriend straig
ht in.”

  I owed my sister-in-law a thank you…and a huge coffee. She’d turned into a caffeine junkie in the past week. I suspected it was to do with the fast-approaching wedding keeping her up. “Nice. Who are you here with?”

  “Cora, a friend from nursing school. She called and asked if I felt like getting together tonight. A quick catch-up drink turned into an all-night kind of thing.”

  “I love those kind of things.”

  Cassidy laughed. “She’s in the bathroom. I’ll introduce you if she ever finds me in this crowd.”

  “Sweet. Will you still be up when I get off work?”

  She lifted a solitary eyebrow. “I could be convinced.”

  My smile widened. “Good.” Someone slid a hand up my arm and in front of me, Cassidy’s smile faltered.

  “Don’t mind me,” Ashley said, rubbing her tits against me as she reached for a straw in the holder in front of where I was standing.

  I’ve never wanted to scream at a woman to leave me the fuck alone as much as I did in that moment. I glared at her, but it didn’t seem to bother Ashley in the slightest. She gave me a coy smile and wiggled her ass down the bar as though it was a sight I wanted to see. Shaking my head, I turned back to look at Cassidy.

  The expression on her face was impossible to read. Any other girl would be planning all the ways she was going to eviscerate me, but how many times had Cassidy proven she was not like anyone else?

  “That was Ashley. A royal pain in my ass.”

  “She wants you?” Cassidy asked after a brief pause.

  “If she doesn’t, I’d hate to be the person that she does want.” I shrugged. “She’s been here forever, good at her job when she’s not being a creeper.”

  She held my eye for a long second. “Fantasy and reality, right?”