Tesla's Stepdaughters

by Wesley Allison

  “That’s fine. I’ll approve any expenses you need.”

  “What about there? No problems?”

  “Of course not. Everything is fine. Your girls are in good hands. We’ll be leaving for Frisco early afternoon tomorrow.”

  “Fine. I’ll meet you there.”

  He then placed another call to the Ladybugs, specifically to Penny, because according to his hand made calendar, today was her day again.

  “Hello Big John,” she said in a breathy voice.

  “Um, hi. I wanted to let you know that I’m not going to be back until tomorrow.”

  “That’s fine.” Her voice returned to its normal conversational form. “I’m working on a new song, so I need some me time.”

  “Good. I’ll see you soon.”

  “Bye, but wait… Ruth wants to talk to you.”

  “John?”

  “Hi Ruth.”

  “I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

  “I’m fine.”

  “I was just watching the home movie of you and me.”

  “What movie?”

  “The one from the show… when you and I were having lunch on the ship.”

  “Oh, yes.”

  “It made me feel all sentimental and I wanted to make sure you were all right.”

  “I’m fine. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  “Okay. Love you. Bye.”

  “Bye.”

  After hanging up the phone, he sat at the desk for a while and flipped through the book. It was a few minutes before he realized that he wasn’t really looking at the pages. He was thinking about Ruth and Penny and Steffie and Ep!phanee. He needed to focus. Deciding that he would find comfortable restaurant to eat and read through the volume, he stood up. Just then his stomach growled.

  “Would you like to go to lunch?” asked Officer Lewis, suddenly at his elbow.

  “I’m afraid I wouldn’t be decent company,” he said. “I need to read through this book, and judging by the few pages I have read, it’s going to take me all day and night.”

  “Another time then?”

  “Of course.”

  He left the station, the book tucked under his arm, and hailed a cab to drive him a few miles away. He didn’t want to be interrupted. Finding a small Mexican café just off the main drag, he went inside and took a seat in a corner booth, where he began reading, stopping only long enough to order a taco platter and then to eat once it arrived.

  The book contained Ladybugs song lyrics, each page devoted to a different song. All of the songs from the Spotted Album were present, but only a few from each of the other Ladybugs albums. Each had a lengthy explanation of the meaning of the song, at least as far as Pearl Kerrigan was concerned. Piecing together the annotated notes provided a story of the fall of civilization and the coming of an apocalypse. Though the idea that the band had written these particular songs to be pieced together and interpreted this way was ridiculous, Andrews had to admit that a troubled mind looking at them side by side in this way, could have found all kinds of deeper meaning within.

  He had long finished his food and was on one of multiple coffee cup refills when he finally made it to the end of the book. Kerrigan apparently believed that there was some great cataclysm about to befall the world. He couldn’t figure out what the cataclysm was and he guessed that she couldn’t either. Looking up at the front window, he realized that he had been here hours longer than he had planned. He was a bit surprised that the old lady and the young girl running the place hadn’t asked him to leave, but then again he hadn’t noticed too many patrons coming in or going out. It was in fact almost dinner time, but he wasn’t hungry. He ordered a tamale to go and started down the street.

  A few blocks away, he spotted a small hotel. It seemed within walking distance, so he started toward it. He hadn’t gone very far when a long silver Desoto pulled up next to him. The back window was rolled down and Ep!phanee poked her head out.

  “Hey stranger, going my way?”

  “You girls should start working as private investigators. I can’t imagine how you manage to find me so easily.”

  “I thought about telling the driver to take me somewhere they sell hotdogs, but then I figured you’re alone, away from home, in San Diego… so I told her to take me somewhere they sell tacos. Here I am in Old Town. I was going to drive around till I found you, but we just barely got started. Climb in.”

  Andrews got in the car and the driver pulled away from the sidewalk.

  “I was going to get a room in that motel.”

  “No, we’re not staying there,” she said, giving it the evil eye through the window. “Driver, take us to the Del.”

  Half an hour later the car pulled into the front drive of the classic Victorian style Hotel del Coronado, its distinctive red turrets by this time just dark silhouettes against the dusk sky. Andrews had his doubts about the possibility of getting a room, but within moments Piffy had secured a Signature suite with a living room and a bedroom that not only featured a king-sized bed, but also a balcony that faced the ocean.

  “You know we only have one night here, don’t you?”

  “I know what you mean,” said Piffy. “I could easily kick back on this beach for a week or two. I’ll order up some room service.”

  Andrews went to the bathroom, undressed, and got into the shower. When he came back to the living room he found Ep!phanee sitting in an overstuffed chair leafing through Kerrigan’s book.

  “You probably shouldn’t read that,” he said, sitting down on the sofa. “It’ll make you crazy.”

  “I can see right under your robe,” she said.

  “Crazier,” he corrected.

  “I think I should meet this woman.”

  “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

  “Do you have any idea how many times you’ve used that phrase since we met?”

  “I’m sure that it’s more times than I ever did before we met.”

  A couple of women arrived from the kitchen with the room service cart. Andrews waited in the bedroom while they set out the food, and then returned to find grilled yellow fin tuna upon a bed of pasta, spinach, olives, and winter greens. Piffy poured two glasses of white wine from a large bottle.

  “I hope you like what I ordered,” she said.

  “I like tuna, but just in case, I have a tamale.”

  “How about white wine?”

  They ate and drank while sitting on the balcony and listening to the waves roll in. Andrews found the wine as much to his liking as the food and the company.

  “So why are you here, Piffy?”

  “I missed you.”

  “I missed you too, but it’s Penny’s night after all and she didn’t seem to miss me all that much.”

  “You know how she is. She was busy writing, so I traded her a day.”

  “I don’t remember any of your days coming up any time soon. I thought maybe you were tired of me.”

  “Don’t be silly. I had to give the others a chance to catch up. Anyway, I wanted you to help me decide on my next tattoo.”

  “You think you need another one?”

  “I have thirty reef animals all together—one for each year of my life. I’m turning thirty-one in less than a month.”

  “You’re legs are pretty bare,” he said with a smirk. “Maybe you should get a great white shark swimming up one of them.”

  “Great white sharks don’t live in the Caribbean. We have reef sharks though. What would you think about one of those?”

  “I’ll try and find time to give it some thought.”

  Later he had ample opportunity to study her back piece as they practiced the same position that Penny had shown him the previous night. There were exactly thirteen sea creatures in the full color panorama, including the sea turtle, spiny lobster, and a sea star. He decided right then though that he would discourage her from a tattoo on her bottom. The white globes of her buttocks spread across his lap, especially in contrast to her colorful back loo
ked very pleasing.

  The next morning, Andrews arrived back at the police station, Ep!phanee in tow. When Pearl Kerrigan was returned to the interrogation room, he sat down across from her. Piffy watched from behind the two way mirror.

  “Good morning Miss Kerrigan. I read your book.”

  “So you understand. You know.”

  “I believe I understand what you believe.”

  “It’s all true. It’s right there, as plain as day.”

  “So what were you planning to do with this information, Miss Kerrigan?”

  “Do?” she asked, her eyes growing wilder. “There’s nothing to do. You can’t do anything. It’s already done.”

  “Why did you want to kill the Ladybugs?”

  “Kill them? I don’t want to kill them.”

  “That is why you’re here? Their concert here is next week.”

  “I just want to talk to them. I want to find out when it’s going to happen. They know. They know.”

  There was a tapping on the mirror and the words “you’re a wacko” could clearly be heard from the other side.

  “Who’s out there?” asked Kerrigan.

  “Nobody important,” said Andrews, glaring toward his own reflection. “So what are the guns for?”

  “When the end comes, we’ll all need to protect what little we have. Even then, it won’t be enough.”

  “You didn’t blow up the Lady of Angels?”

  “Blow up… I don’t know anything about blowing things up. I don’t know how to make a bomb.”

  Chapter Sixteen: San Francisco

  They took the airflivver from San Diego to San Francisco. Speed was important because the next show was that evening. Piffy couldn’t stop talking about Pearl Kerrigan, and what a strange character she was.

  “You try to write a few tunes and you hope people will want to hear them,” she said. “Then some nut thinks you’re Nostradamus and that you’ve killed Steffie and replaced her with a look-alike robot.”

  “There are plenty of those people out there though. You have to take precautions.”

  “Yes, I’m already planning on talking to the other girls about increasing our security at all our homes.” She turned around and reclined across his lap. “So do you have any idea who blew up the dirigible?”

  “Not really. Everyone we’ve had as a suspect so far hasn’t had the expertise to make a bomb on that scale.”

  “Maybe you should stop looking at people who can’t do it and look at people who can.”

  “Good idea,” he laughed. But then he thought for a moment. “That is a good idea. Ex-military... police... construction demolition workers.”

  “Could you do it?”

  “Yes, but I didn’t.”

  “How can I be sure?” She said playfully. “Maybe you did it just to meet us.”

  Andrews laughed again, but again he thought about what she had said.

  They were rushed by private car to the Cow Palace after landing. Andrews went immediately to check in with Wright, while Piffy went backstage to prepare.

  “Did you find out anything?” asked Wright.

  “It’s just like we figured. She’s a nut, but she’s not our nut. But I’ve been thinking. Maybe we should check out our own.”

  “What… Science Police? There’s never been a case of an agent committing a major crime… ever.”

  “Then it won’t hurt to check. I want to see if any agents have resigned or transferred out of Los Angeles just before the Lady of Angels took off. That would be where the bomb was most likely set.”

  “All right, have them pull the records for the past six months, but be discreet.”

  That was exactly what he did. He called the Los Angeles field office and asked them for the records of any agent who left or transferred within the previous six months. They promised they would have them within the hour. All the Science Police records were kept on punch cards and were filed by electronic brain. Andrews realized he would get the results when he got them, so he took a relaxing breath and went backstage to see what the Ladybugs had planned for this show.

  “About time you got here,” said Penny as he walked back stage.

  “Hello beautiful,” said Ruth, giving him a kiss.

  They were both wearing their white costumes from the last album cover, white miniskirt and bikini top for the former and white leggings and bikini top for the latter. The three of them sat down on folding metal chairs.

  “I get to be in the audience again,” said Andrews. “I hope you saved me another seat.”

  “You have the best seat in the house,” said Ruth smiling.

  “Great. Are you doing the same show you did at the Hollywood Bowl?”

  “Same set list,” said Penny. “Only one costume change though. We’re starting in these, and then we change into these little schoolgirl numbers.”

  “You’ll love it,” added Ruth. “They’re very hot.”

  “I was surprised that you played Memories of Dust and the two new songs too, for that matter.”

  “The songs about you, do you mean?” asked Penny.

  “Yes. Memories of Dust is a solo work.”

  “Piffy said it was your favorite,” said Ruth.

  “You did it just for me?”

  They both nodded.

  “That reminds me of a question I had. How come all the solo albums?”

  “We write a lot of songs,” said Penny.

  “I know. I understand Memories of Dust and Recompense. Both of those were recorded after you broke up, but what about the ones before 1970?”

  “He really is a fan,” laughed Ruth.

  “We all had too many songs to put just on Ladybugs albums, so we made our own too.”

  “Yes, but why not just make them all Ladybugs albums?”

  “You can’t put out six or seven Ladybugs albums a year.”

  “Why not?”

  Penny stared at him for a minute. “Well, um… it’s… it’s all very complicated music industry stuff that you wouldn’t understand.”

  “Oh.”

  “What are your plans after the show?” Penny quickly asked.

  “Well, I know you like to eat afterwards, so I thought we could go for a steak. What do you think?”

  “Shit yeah. Do you mind if we invite Ruth and Steffie?”

  “No, of course not. What about Piffy?”

  “She’s got business this evening… business business. I don’t know what exactly. They’re probably going to make an Ep!phanee doll. When you pull the string, it looks at itself in the mirror.”

  “Not in front of the man,” admonished Ruth.

  “Okay, okay.”

  “What do you mean, ‘not in front of the man’?”

  “We don’t make disparaging remarks about each other in front of you,” she explained.

  “Are these rules written down somewhere?”

  “Yes, but you’re not allowed to see them.”

  “That’s one of the rules too,” said Penny, arching one eyebrow. Andrews couldn’t tell if they were being serious or not.

  Steffie joined them, giving him a hug. It was the first time that they had been together since their side trip to visit her son on the way to Los Angeles.

  “I don’t know about everybody else, but I’m beat,” she said. “I’m ready for this tour to be over.”

  “I was thinking about that,” said Andrews. “Instead of doing a tour when your next album comes out, why don’t you go on radio-vid.”

  “We’ve been on radio-vid,” said Steffie.

  “We’re on radio-vid all the time,” said Ruth.

  “I meant like a movie.”

  “We’ve done that too,” said Steffie. “Piffy’s Blessed Nobody fiasco.”

  “I didn’t mean a whole movie. I mean a three or four minute short film of a song… kind of like a cartoon… only not a cartoon.”

  “I see what you mean,” said Ruth. “A music vid.”

  “Time to get ready,” said Janet Sh
aw, stopping for a moment on her way to the stage wings.

  The three women each gave him a quick kiss, first Ruth, then Steffie, and then Penny.

  “Maybe we can invite one or both of them to join us tonight after dinner too,” said Penny caressing his face.

  “Huh?”

  “In bed.”

  “You’re just kidding, right?” asked Andrews.

  “Look how scared his face looks,” said Steffie.

  “Stop that,” ordered Ruth, then to him. “They’re just teasing.”

  “That’s right,” said Steffie. “We’re just teasing.”

  “Yes,” agreed Penny. “Way too early for that anyway.”

  The girls went to their positions and Andrews started making his way around the stage and into the audience. He was only halfway when they made their appearance to the crowd’s screaming applause. By the time he reached his seat, escorted by one of the stage crew, they were almost finished with Peggy Sue, which was a short song anyway. He sat down and got comfortable in his front row seat and was rewarded with a wink and wave from Ep!phanee.

  The concert was wonderful. The energy was even greater than it had been in Hollywood. They played right past She’s My Dream, not stopping for a costume change as they had before. After Save it for the Night, their fifth song in the set, the Ladybugs rearranged themselves on stage. Steffie, strapping on her Gretsch, moved to the center of the stage, while Piffy donned her Rickenbacker and took the backup guitar position. They began the rolling intro to Distortion, all Penny and Piffy hammering furiously on their guitars and Steffie played through the less demanding bass line as Ruth kept the beat. Penny’s guitar solo had just started, with the others dancing, hopping, or otherwise prancing around and playing to the audience, when Penny took a sudden step back. Though she didn’t stop playing, she missed a handful of notes and staggered to her left.

  Most of the audience didn’t notice anything was wrong, but Andrews certainly knew. It was flat out impossible that Penny Dreadful would miss a note. The Ladybugs knew it too. Steffie stepped over and put a hand on Penny’s shoulder. Penny’s eyes rolled up into her head and she toppled like a falling tree, still feebly trying to play the guitar as she fell. Steffie stood looking at her own hand which was now covered in bright red blood.