The Pregnant Surgeon

by Jennifer Taylor

  ‘I’m trying to find out what’s wrong and if I can help in any way. I thought that was obvious.’

  His tone was clipped although the look on his face was so comical that Joanna experienced a sudden urge to laugh. Did he have any idea how stunned he looked at that moment? Of course not! He was the type of man who was normally in control of himself and the situation and it must be a rare event for him to find himself out of his depth like this.

  The thought should have been comforting but for some reason it just served to knock her even further off balance. Joanna felt her insides quiver as she tried to deal with the thought that Dylan was as unsure about what was happening between them as she was. What had Tom said about Dylan making her behave like a human being? Well, it was true because he made her feel things that she’d never experienced before.

  All of a sudden Joanna realised what dangerous ground she was on. She’d spent the whole of her adult life focusing on her work to such an extent that her emotional life had been neglected. Oh, she’d had the odd romantic liaison over the years but never anything serious. She hadn’t been prepared to put in the time or the effort it had needed to maintain a relationship when she’d had her career to consider.

  The men she’d dated had soon tired of coming second to her job so for the past few years she had refused any invitations. It had seemed pointless going out on a date when she wasn’t interested in having a relationship with anyone, yet she realised with a sudden flash of insight that she would be interested if Dylan asked her out. The thought terrified her because she knew in her heart that there could be no compromises in that situation. It would be all or nothing if she got involved with a man like Dylan, and that was out of the question. She wasn’t prepared to sacrifice her career for love.

  Dylan walked over to the door then turned and walked all the way back to the desk just to prove to himself that he was capable of making his limbs obey him. He felt a little better after he’d done it, more able to cope with making his mind listen to reason. If Joanna didn’t want his help then that was the end of the story.

  Only it wouldn’t be the end because he would be forced to spend the rest of the night worrying about her, wouldn’t he?

  He swore under his breath, wishing not for the first time that day that he’d never taken this wretched job. If he hadn’t taken it he would be carrying on as normal. He glanced at his watch and made a few rapid calculations. He should be on his way home by now and trying to decide nothing more stressful than which restaurant he would take the current woman in his life to for dinner. Once dinner was over they might either go on to a club or back to his flat depending on the stage they were at in their relationship, although lately it had been rare that he’d invited anyone to spend the night with him.

  Dylan frowned when it struck him just how long it had been, in fact, since he’d slept with a woman. It wasn’t because of a lack of willing partners either, but he just wasn’t interested in casual sex nowadays. He wanted more from a relationship than a few hours of physical pleasure, things like closeness and commitment, a sense of them belonging together. Casual sex was a bit like scratching an itch—good while it lasted but quickly forgotten afterwards—and he wanted more than that. In fact, when he asked Joanna to spend the night with him it would be because they both knew they were making a commitment to each other.

  The thought astounded him. He swung round and marched back to the door again then stood there while he took half a dozen deep breaths to clear his head. Putting the horse before the cart wasn’t in it! Commitment and Joanna Martin were two concepts which should never have been uttered in the same breath at this stage, so how come they had sneaked into his head?

  He had no idea but what he did know was that he’d be in serious trouble if Joanna discovered what he’d been thinking. The last thing he could afford at this stage in his career was to be dismissed, yet it was a distinct possibility if she thought she was in danger of being compromised in any way.

  Dylan called on all his resources before he turned to face her, and even then found his resolve wavering when he saw how upset she looked. He ached to comfort her but he forced himself to behave with decorum. Joanna was his boss and he was going to treat her as such even if it killed him—which it very well might!

  ‘Look, Joanna, I’m not trying to pry but if there is any way I can help you only need to say the word.’ He shrugged when she glanced up, hoping he looked suitably nonchalant. ‘The offer’s there but it’s up to you whether or not you accept it.’

  ‘I…um…Thank you. I appreciate your concern but everything is fine, I assure you.’

  Dylan’s nostrils flared with impatience when he heard the distance in her voice. She was deliberately trying to blank him and it hurt to be on the receiving end of such tactics. However, deep down he knew there would be little to gain but a lot to lose if he pursued the matter so he merely shrugged.

  ‘Fine. In that case I’ll say goodnight. Have a pleasant evening.’

  ‘Fat chance of that!’

  He’d already taken a couple of steps out of the door when he heard that comment and he stopped dead. He looked round, feeling his very bones melting with tenderness when he saw how appalled she looked. It was obvious that she hadn’t intended to say that and it touched his heart that the words had spilled out despite her intentions. Maybe Joanna found it a bit more difficult to maintain her aura of cool professionalism in front of him than she did in front of the rest of her staff?

  The thought was far too tantalising to ignore so Dylan didn’t try. He slowly made his way back into the room. ‘Want to explain that comment?’ he asked, half expecting a rebuff. His heart lifted when she grimaced because it was the first time she’d willingly betrayed any sign of weakness in front of him.

  ‘I have to give a speech at the Royal College of Surgeons annual dinner tonight and I’ve just realised that what I’ve written is a complete load of rubbish.’ She tapped a fingernail on the neatly typed notes piled on her desk. ‘It’s flat, boring and will have everyone snoring before I reach the second paragraph!’

  ‘Then it should be fine.’ He grinned when she looked at him in surprise. ‘Every single speech I’ve ever heard at the dinner has had me nodding off so yours should fit the occasion perfectly.’

  There was total silence for a moment and he gritted his teeth as he wondered if his flippancy had offended her. This was obviously important to her and he shouldn’t have tried to make light of her concerns. A little chuckle suddenly broke the silence and he heaved a sigh of relief when he realised she was laughing.

  ‘Thank heavens for that! I thought I’d mortally offended you.’

  ‘You didn’t. Not at all.’ She chuckled again, a throaty sound that made his toes curl and caused an immediate reaction in another part of his anatomy as well. Dylan shifted uncomfortably when he felt his body make its own appreciative statement as to how it felt about that alluring little laugh.

  ‘You’ve made me see how stupid I’m being so thank you very much. I’d got myself so keyed up about making the perfect speech that I’d lost sight of the fact that most of the speeches I’ve listened to have bored me rigid.’ She grinned as she briskly gathered up her notes. ‘At least mine won’t rock the boat and give anyone a heart attack by being too challenging!’

  ‘I’m sure you’re doing yourself an injustice,’ he protested, desperate to get his mind back on the subject under discussion rather than what was currently occupying it. Thoughts like that—and he certainly wasn’t going to elaborate on what sort of thoughts they were—were totally inappropriate.

  ‘I doubt it but who cares? I shall do my best and just have to hope that it’s enough.’

  ‘Nobody can do more than that, Joanna. Nobody expects any more than that, in fact,’ he gently pointed out. He sighed when she looked at him questioningly. He really didn’t want to start making more waves but he could hardly refuse to explain what he’d meant.

  ‘You’re far too hard on yourself. It isn’t
good to keep striving for perfection all the time.’

  She laughed shortly. ‘You hardly know me, Dr Archer, so I really can’t see that you’re qualified to make that kind of judgement.’

  ‘Maybe I don’t know you all that well but it’s obvious that you are completely dedicated to your work,’ he countered.

  ‘And is that your opinion or are you quoting your esteemed colleague. What was it that Dr Barnes said? Ah, yes, that’s it. I’m paranoid about making sure everyone works to my standards and that the staff all salute you for making me behave like a human being. I think I got it right, didn’t I?’

  Dylan’s heart sank, not because Joanna had somehow overheard Tom’s comments but because of the hurt in her voice. It had upset her to hear herself being spoken about in those less than flattering terms and he felt guilty about having been part of the conversation.

  ‘Maybe Tom did say all that but he said it out of concern rather than because he was criticising you. I’ve only been here a day but it’s obvious the esteem your team have for you, Joanna. You’re a wonderful doctor, a superb surgeon and you are doing what any surgeon hopes to do—you are improving people’s lives with your skill.’

  Joanna felt a lump come to her throat because there was no doubt that Dylan meant every word. Maybe he had been trying to smooth over an awkward moment but that didn’t detract from the fact that he believed what he had said.

  She cleared her throat, not wanting him to see how touched she was by the compliment. ‘Thank you. I appreciate your comments, Dr Archer.’ She shrugged, suddenly wanting to lighten the mood because she wasn’t sure she could handle so much emotion. ‘I should have remembered the old adage about listeners never hearing anything good about themselves.’

  ‘And Tom should have had the sense to lower his voice.’ He grinned but his eyes were full of tenderness again and her heart surged because every time he looked at her she could see it in his eyes. ‘He could waken the dead with a voice as loud as that. No wonder nobody dares die when he’s in charge of their anaesthesia!’

  Joanna burst out laughing. ‘If only it were that simple! Still, I was pleased to hear that Ada Harper came through her op. She’s such a game old lady and I was keeping my fingers crossed it would be all right.’

  ‘She’ll be fine. I’m going to pop down to see her in a few minutes.’ He checked his watch and frowned. ‘What time does the dinner start? These events usually kick off quite early so shouldn’t you be on your way home to get changed?’

  ‘I brought my clothes into work the other day,’ she explained. ‘I knew I had full list today and that I would need to spend extra time supervising…’ She broke off, not wanting to remind him about her decision not to supervise him. She still wasn’t completely comfortable with the fact that she had waived the rules for him.

  Dylan grinned. ‘Supervising me? That’s what you were going to say, wasn’t it?’ He laughed when she nodded. ‘Thought so, and may I say that I feel honoured that you let me loose on your patients without being subjected to a thorough check-up first.’

  ‘I’d seen enough this morning to know you were up to the job,’ she said shortly, not wanting to delve too deeply into the reason for her leniency. Dylan was an excellent surgeon and that was all that mattered.

  ‘That’s what I told Tom,’ he agreed blandly but there was a twinkle in his eyes that sent a flood of heat rushing through her body.

  ‘Good.’ Joanna glanced at her watch because it was time she brought the conversation to an end. It wouldn’t help to keep thinking about why she’d bent the rules for Dylan so she would put it out of her mind. ‘Anyway, I’d better start getting ready.’

  ‘And I’d better get down to the ward to see Mrs Harper.’ Dylan went to the door then stopped. ‘Best of luck with your speech tonight, not that you’ll need it, of course.’

  ‘Oh, of course not,’ she agreed, pulling a face. ‘I just wish I had your confidence when I have to stand up there in front of everyone.’

  ‘I could always come to the dinner with you.’

  ‘I’m sorry?’ She looked at him in surprise.

  ‘I have a ticket for tonight’s little shindig sitting on my mantelpiece back home.’ He shrugged. ‘I was supposed to be attending the dinner to represent my old department at St Clemence’s but decided not to go after I accepted the job here. I had been meaning to cancel my place but forgot about it with all the palaver of changing jobs. The ticket should still be valid, but even if it isn’t I could always wait outside in the foyer and just slip in to listen to your speech.’

  ‘You’d really do that for me?’ she asked in amazement. ‘Stand outside while we eat so you can listen to my speech?’

  ‘Of course, if you want me to. Do you, Joanna? Would you like me to come with you tonight and cheer you on?’

  CHAPTER FOUR

  ‘LADIES and gentlemen, it is my great pleasure to introduce our next speaker this evening, Ms Joanna Martin.’

  Polite applause rippled around the room as Joanna made her way to the podium. Placing her notes carefully on the stand, she glanced towards the back of the room and felt her heart lift when Dylan gave her a smile of encouragement. He had been waiting outside the hotel when she’d arrived that night, looking devastatingly handsome in his formal dinner suit. Joanna’s heart had skipped several beats as he’d helped her out of the taxi. She’d felt a little self-conscious about her own appearance at first. However, the appreciation in his eyes as he’d taken stock of her black velvet cocktail dress had soon convinced her that she’d made the right choice.

  Unfortunately, they hadn’t been able to sit together because the table plans had been prepared many weeks earlier and couldn’t be changed at such a late stage in the proceedings, but they’d had time for a drink in the bar before dinner had started and that had done a lot to settle her nerves. Now, as she stood in front of the audience, Joanna could feel Dylan willing her to make a success of her speech and the very last of her jitters faded away. She was going to do this and she was going to do it well because it was what Dylan expected of her!

  ‘Ladies and gentlemen, esteemed colleagues, let me begin with some background information for those of you who don’t know me…’

  Twenty minutes later Joanna stepped down from the podium to resounding applause. Her speech had gone down far better than she’d dared hope and several people congratulated her on her way back to her seat. There was one more speech after hers but she barely heard a word because she was on such a high. She stood up and shook hands with her table companions once the evening was brought to a conclusion then looked round to see if she could spot Dylan in the crowd. She wanted to hear his opinion before she would be completely satisfied.

  ‘That was brilliant, Joanna, absolutely brilliant! What a performance.’

  All of a sudden he was standing beside her and her heart swelled with delight when she heard the praise in his voice. ‘You really think it went OK, then?’

  ‘Yes! It couldn’t have been better. And the proof of that was that I didn’t hear a single snore throughout the whole time you were speaking.’

  She burst out laughing. ‘You idiot!’

  ‘Idiot? Here I am, telling you the truth, and you accuse me of being an idiot. I’m absolutely gutted.’

  He tried to look suitably wounded but the laughter in his green eyes completely ruined the effect. A surgeon from Guy’s came over to speak to her at that moment so Joanna was forced to make conversation for a few minutes. She gracefully accepted the compliments that were showered on her but inside she was seething with impatience. She didn’t want to waste time talking to anyone else when she could be talking to Dylan.

  Her heart suddenly plummeted when she realised how dangerous it was to think like that. Dylan had been kind enough to offer his support that evening but she mustn’t make too much of it. He’d probably considered it his duty to accompany her because she was his boss.

  The thought was so deflating that all the pleasure seemed to disap
pear from the evening. It was difficult to disguise her dismay as she said goodbye to the surgeon from Guy’s and turned to Dylan again and she saw him frown.

  ‘What’s up, Doc?’ he asked, the teasing note in his voice as he trotted out the phrase completely at odds with the concern in his eyes.

  ‘Nothing. I’m fine, or I will be as soon as I get out of this scrum.’

  She fixed a smile to her mouth as she made her way through the crowd that had gathered around the door. Several people tried to stop her en route to offer their congratulations, but Joanna fobbed them off with the excuse that she was on call and had to leave. They were all used to their social lives coming second to their work so they accepted what she said without question, but it was a relief when she finally reached the foyer. Now she just needed to fetch her coat and she could go home.

  ‘I’ll collect our coats then we can find a taxi.’

  Joanna stopped when she realised that Dylan had followed her out. She knew that she must make it clear that she didn’t expect him to leave because she was going home. ‘There’s no need…’ she began, then realised she was speaking to thin air because he was already on his way to the cloakroom.

  She sighed as she watched him crossing the foyer and wondered how she could explain that she didn’t want to share a taxi with him without appearing rude. She would prefer to make her own way home and spare herself any possible awkwardness. She didn’t want to find herself in the difficult position of having to invite Dylan into her flat.

  A frown puckered her brow because there was no question of her asking Dylan into her flat even if he did accompany her home. Frankly, she couldn’t understand why the thought should have occurred to her and was still pondering on it when he returned with her coat draped over his arm. He helped her on with it then looked enquiringly at her.

  ‘Do you want to go straight home or can I persuade you to join me for a nightcap? There’s a rather nice little bar just round the corner from here and we could have a drink there while you unwind after your star performance.’