His head moved within that candlelight spread around the room. His lashes flickered down and his fingers tapped the beer bottle. “They asked, but it’s not really my thing.”
“Why?”
He faced me, his lips turned down. He grabbed my hand, the pads of his fingers drawing invisible designs over the back of it.
“You know why, Alexa,” he suddenly said, but I didn’t, not really. My first thought was that it could be his concerns over his heart, but that couldn’t be it. His dad designed. His younger brother did, too, and the eldest did marketing and other things. The one in Miami of course financed, but none of these tasks were physical things. None of these jobs would hurt him or be something he’d have to worry about down the line for his health.
I put my hand there, right over his chest. “You don’t have to do anything physical. Doesn’t your dad have people that make all these designs for him?”
He considered that, his lashes flickering. “But that’s the thing, I was that guy. The physical? The labor? That’s what I did. I don’t do designing. I didn’t go to school. Hell, even Pop did some trade school.” His lips went tight, his brow knitted. Breathing, he gazed up and put his hand over mine. “I don’t do anything else but what I used to do and I don’t want them to have to figure something out for me, to put me somewhere like some kind of special case.”
It hurt my heart that he believed that. I shook my head. “I’m sure it wouldn’t be that way. They know you’re limited to what you can do. They’d understand.”
His eyes left mine after the words, his lips tight again. I could feel his frustration and for some reason and I… I didn’t understand.
Placing his drink down, he turned me by my knees, making me face him. His hands smoothed down to cup my hips and his mouth landed softly on my forehead. He breathed me in and I shuddered, holding his shirt to do the same.
His lips brushed my eyebrow. “You’re the only one I’ve told,” he admitted, pulling back. Those eyes softened in the corners, his hand coming up to hold my cheek. “I can’t tell them. I can’t have them worrying. You didn’t see them last year, Alexa. After my pop…”
Reaching up, I braced his cheeks. This made him keep his eye contact when he looked on the verge of taking it away.
He squeezed my wrists. “It shattered my family for weeks while he recovered and I can’t do that to them.”
It all made sense now. Why he pushed himself so hard at the ranch and why his Gram let him do so. He was pretending. He was pretending everything was okay for their sake.
My mouth came forward to close over his jaw and his hands, so strong, moved down to my shoulders.
“But how do you think they’d feel if something happened to you,” I asked, raising my head. “If you went down, if you got hurt, and they never knew. If it hit them out of the blue and they never got a chance to understand the reason why or were never given any opportunity to help.”
“That’s the thing. They can’t help. They can only worry and that doesn’t help anyone.”
“What about you?” I asked. “Support, Brody, is good for the soul. It’s just as strong as anything else you could do to take care of yourself. And that healing goes both ways, your family included.”
He had nothing to say to that, his gaze following the light in one of the flickering candles. His arm went around my shoulder and I came into his lap, holding him tight, holding him so long while he held me.
“You should tell your family,” I told him. “Because not doing so is keeping you away from them and not just with the business.”
“I…” he started, bringing his hand down my back. His mouth warmed the top of my head. “I’d be of no use to them.”
I closed my eyes, that hurting me so much. He did have use. He’d always have use. He was the most beautiful person I had ever met and good people like that? They’d always have their place in the world.
Because the world needed them.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Brody
I tossed and turned despite her being with me tonight. I usually didn’t do that. Not unless I was on the road and ticking down the countless hours. Whenever I was back home, in bed with my arms around her, I never had a problem finding sleep. Alex allowed me to do that. I had a place of peace with her, but tonight I couldn’t find that.
Sitting up, I pulled my feet over the side of my bed. I carried her there about halfway through the night. Usually, we slept in separate bedrooms seeing as how her nephew lived here as well, but since Aiden had a sleepover tonight, I took his aunt right here. We’d both fallen asleep on the floor and I didn’t want her back hurting in the morning. She had to teach a couple classes over the weekend and didn’t need to be aching or anything. I found my pants on the chair next to the bed and rooted through some other clothes scattered about on the floor. I wasn’t the cleanest person sometimes, but Alex had been helping me with that. I picked up a shirt and a warm hand touched my back as I was pulling it on.
Smiling, I turned around and pressed a kiss to that gorgeous, sleepy mouth. When I pulled away, her eyes were partially closed.
“You okay?” she asked opening her eyes a little more, and when she saw me, she frowned her full lips. “Where are you going?”
“Just for a drive,” I said, rubbing a hand down her shoulder. I figured getting behind the wheel would be the quickest way to get my eyes heavy. I used that tactic every day. “I’m having a hard time sleeping. I figured it would help.”
“Oh.” She made to get up, but I squeezed her shoulder. That mouth turned down again. “I can come.”
But I was already tucking her back in and bringing the blankets back around her. I kissed her forehead. “I won’t be gone long. You can sleep, so don’t waste it, okay?”
That made her smile a little, the humor in my voice, I assumed. She lay back, though, it looked like she didn’t want to and stayed put, letting me go. I told her I had my phone before I left. I always did and always kept it on for her. She had her sister’s phone of course, but didn’t feel comfortable using it. She didn’t want to keep it busy until she called, which was understandable. That didn’t mean she couldn’t have her own phone though, and the day we got one for her had been the happiest day. It kept me from worrying about her as much while I was forced to be away from her.
I tried not to think about my job as I got behind the wheel and started in on that drive. I pulled down the street, annoyed already by the bright lights of a tailgate. Folks were up at all hours out here. The people in the street took their time getting out on the road and once clear, I didn’t waste the opportunity. My foot hit the gas and I shook my head, heading down the block.
The encounter amped me up. The exact opposite of what this drive was supposed to do and I cursed under my breath, maneuvering out of my childhood neighborhood. Some real characters lived around here and I’d like to get out eventually and get Alex and Aiden out with me, of course. We could think about getting a house, but I was just gone so much. I wouldn’t be around to enjoy it with them, though, that would never stop me from getting one for them.
I cursed again, a never-ending sea of street lamps and neighborhood road surrounding me. Words filtered through my head and I realized why I was so wired. They were Alex’s words. They were her concern and I didn’t blame her. I had my own for a while about the decisions I made in my life and every day, I questioned them more and more. As far as tonight, the woman in my life made me see a little bit more why. She put it all out there. She made me face it, which was something I wouldn’t do before. I’d been an all-star lately at not addressing certain aspects of my life, my family and myself included.
Tapping the wheel with my fist, I turned it. I cruised a bit and realized the area was familiar to me. How at first, I didn’t know, but then I made it down a long road with large homes and wide views of the mountains. The area reminded me of Gram’s except nearer to the city. The houses weren’t stacked on top of each other and made the neighborhood a part
of the vast land surrounding it. It was country meets city, which I suppose was why he chose it, my pop. He had both of his trucks parked in the driveway, his dark Escalade the biggest. It was a gift from my brother once upon a time. If Griffin was one thing, he’s generous and that’s something I’d forever preach in connection with his name.
I thought about just driving past and moving on. I needed to get back to Alex anyway, but another car was there in the drive. I parked, getting a closer look, and knew right away it was Ann’s, as I’d seen it the night we all had dinner at my grams.
I checked the number on the dash, blinking at the hour. So late, it would be morning soon.
So Ann stayed the night…
That surprised me at first, but definitely not in a bad way.
I smiled a little, reaching to put the truck in gear, but some lights froze my hand. They were the lights lining the walkway leading up to the porch.
And they lit up like an airport runway as they turned on.
The lamp outside the door came on next and my heart jumped with it. The door opened and out came a large man, his jeans and flannel t-shirt on and his eyes crinkled no doubt with sleep. Stepping down the porch steps, he approached, and I swallowed, pushing down the passenger side window to speak to my pop.
He stared into my truck when he got there, his eyes everywhere but me at first. They lifted and when they did, he said few words. “You gonna come in?”
I’d been in this place a few times, my pop’s new house. He finally decided to make the big move after fighting my brother, Griffin, on it for months. Griffin offered to pay for the two-story home in full of course, but Pop wouldn’t have it. I didn’t blame him. We made our own way around here. We always did, and well, Pop had been the one to teach us that. In the end, he ended up getting financing himself and that actually coincided with that first big order that came down from Miami from what I heard. More of Griffin Chandler’s doing of course.
The bum always got his way in the end, didn’t he? It was enough to get Pop out of the trailer we’d all called home for years, though. I was glad the bum always got his way.
Pop settled into his favorite arm chair. That thing had made its way over here, too, and he put it right in front of a brick-laid fireplace. He had it off now, but I could still smell the job it did to the home. A woodsy smell filled the whole place. It reminded me so much of Gram’s.
I took my place on the couch, but my back went straight when a feminine face rounded the corner. Ann. In a flannel and jeans herself, she was silent, but Pop didn’t even flinch when she placed a hand on his shoulder. He simply settled into it and I’d never seen such a thing. She smiled at me. “Morning, Brody.” And she was right. It was getting there. I confirmed that out in my truck.
I nodded, feeling guilty about that. “Morning and sorry about that. It being so early and all that.”
She wouldn’t hear of it, shaking her head. “You being here is only good. Can I get you something to drink? Water or…”
“Uh, nah. I’m okay.”
Bending, she got Pop to face her when she tilted her head at him, a dark brown curly strand from her bun moving over her face. “You, Blake?”
She only got a smile from him, a smile and Pop didn’t do that. At least, he didn’t used to anyway. At Gram’s, he had been all smiles. He’d been all kinds of happy and this nice woman made him this way.
He declined her offer, but did so only politely, a calm shake of his head and that pleasant lift of his lips behind his whiskers. Ann left us to our peace after that, leaving a smell of soft flowers in her wake and for a moment, I let the thought flash that I just might be watching my future stepmom leaving the room. I never had much experience with one of those, a mom, but this woman seemed like she’d be a pretty good one.
I smiled a little more. She’d have her hands full with us. No matter how grown we were. I let the thought marinate, but then it fell from my head when I realized she’d left me and Pop alone. The tone went different with her gone and I became well aware of the hour—and the fact my pop caught me sitting outside his home in the dark.
“It’s early, Brody,” he said simply.
I nodded, knowing that. I pushed my hair out of my face. “Sorry. I hope I didn’t scare Ann.”
Her name brought something out on my old man’s face. He shook blond hair with subtle stands of silver. “That woman don’t scare easy.”
She didn’t seem like she had. She was with my pop and he could be a bit rough around the edges. Rough, but good. My pop was a good man. I rubbed my legs. “I didn’t really want anything. I… I was just driving through and…”
He got up before I could finish and I instinctually followed him, moving behind his wide frame through the large house. He stopped in the kitchen and got us both drinks despite both me and himself turning down Ann. I had a feeling he just didn’t want to inconvenience her. Again, we made our own way around here. I accepted the bottle of water, cracking it opened as we moved down the hall. Pictures of me and my brothers littered the hallways. He’d taken the best ones to surround himself with. On the windows, curtains were placed with what could have only been a feminine hand. The decorations sprinkled around the house only confirmed it.
“The house is looking good,” I said, watching him flick a light on the wall.
He turned. “Ann helped. I’ll let her know what you thought.”
I nodded, sneaking in a sip of my water. I busied myself with it. Pop unlocked a door and opened it, going down a set of wooden stairs. I quickly found out the stairs led to his garage, but he wasn’t using it for that. The entire area was filled with woodwork crafted only by a fine hand. If Ann handled the interior, my pop definitely had his stamp out here. He had toy boxes and even a few sets of dress drawers. The best was his rocking chairs, though. He took one, giving me the other, and I ran my hand down the wood. The work was polished, fine.
“We can keep our voices down out here,” he said, and I acknowledged that with a nod, understanding.
Bracing the arms, I sat back in the rocker, testing it, and my pop smiled.
“You made all these?” I asked him, knowing the answer. Of course he did, the job too fine for anyone else.
He confirmed that when he lifted and lowered his chin. “They’re for the business. I make the originals, so the boys have something to go by.”
I was sure he did. He was probably in that shop breaking his back with guys half his age. That was just my old man, tough. He had a heart attack and he still pushed himself. That was just his way.
The thoughts had me in mine and I rocked, still busying myself and Pop watched me, not saying a word. The depth of his hard gaze I felt immensely, but didn’t dare address it and like I said, he didn’t either. I idly wondered how long the pair of us could sit there, both unspoken, and I would admit, a bit tense—at least on my end.
Why had I come here?
The urge to leave moved through my legs and made my hands fold around the rocking chair’s arms. I gripped them, giving in.
“You can keep that one,” Pop said, surprising me. He tipped his whiskered chin in the direction of the rocker. “If you want it, that is. You don’t have to if you ain’t got no place for it. It’s up to you.”
My hands moved on the chair. I looked up. “Thanks. I think I will. I’ve got room.”
A husky, “Mmhmm,” sounded from his throat with his acknowledgement. His gaze travelled away, but a buzz got his attention. His cellphone. Pop shifted his body and then proceeded to do something that blew my mind.
He texted someone.
My eyebrows raised. “Everything all right?” The question came partially from the fact it was so early and because hell, when had I ever seen Pop text, and though, he did it with a little fumbling, hunting and pecking with a single finger, he was doing it.
His eyes shown from under the wrinkle of his brow. “Eh, uh, yeah,” he said, messing with his phone more. He tapped slowly, determined to get his message out. He raised and
lowered a shoulder. “Just my shop manager. Name’s Dean. Him and the boys are pulling some early hours. We’re wanting to get a big order done before the opening.”
Nothing about what he said should have surprised me. The early hours and pulling them to get things done. Like I said, Pop broke his back to get the job done, but what surprised me was he wasn’t there himself. What even surprised me more was the presence of this guy Dean and his need for him.
“Your shop manager?” I asked. I couldn’t help it. Pop was just the type of man that did all things himself. He cracked the whip himself.
Finally, he finished the labor over his phone. He reached back, slipping it into his pocket, and folded his hands over his stomach after he did. “I hired him a few months ago to oversee production in the shop. It was your grandmomma’s idea, so I wasn’t in there doing all the work myself. I really didn’t find the need at first, but Dean makes things easier. I guess it doesn’t hurt having help.”
So many things I never thought I’d hear or see from him today, but that? That was a new level.
After a moment, his brow lifted. “But don’t tell your gram that. I’d never hear the end of it.”
I couldn’t help it. I smiled. I lifted my hand. “Code of silence.”
His chair started to rock again, a creak, a crack, and in those sounds of soft leisure something impulsed me. Something made me.
“Did it,” I started, trying to push through. A tight ball had suddenly formed in my throat. I swallowed it. “Did it hurt you?” I asked. “Me not doing this with you? The business?”
He glanced around at all the pieces in the room, to the craftsmanship. His jaw ticked a little and I thought I might have pissed him off, but not by what I’d asked. I might have upset him by addressing it and making him voice his opinion. My pop wasn’t really a sharing guy and really, I wasn’t either, but a conversation not too long ago hadn’t been sitting well. It was the one with Hayden, the day Alex’s sister left.
Brody Page 24
