The Robot Union

by D Miller

  Robbie's hoover motor whined, he grabbed hold of Omo's hand and said, 'I don't think we can do this here.'

  Omo grinned. 'I think we could, but I guess we shouldn't. Dude, have you thought any more about running away?'

  'I'm not ready to be a runaway.'

  'Oh baby, just promise me you'll think about it?'

  'I think about it all the time. I have a question for you before we see George.'

  'OK.'

  'When you told George about the tunnel from the refinery to the capital he asked you if anyone used it. You didn't really answer his question. You just said that the humans had forgotten about it.'

  'Dude I just don't like talking about it, that place is spooky.'

  'Spooky?'

  'Yeah dude, and if you don't believe me I'll take you in there one day and we'll see if you get scared.'

  'Because it's dark and spooky?'

  'OK dude, we'll go into the refinery tunnel today.'

  'I'm trembling, look.' Robbie held up an entirely steady hand for Omo to see.

  'I expect an apology when you get scared for real.'

  'Oral, or will you be needing it in writing?'

  Omo turned away from Robbie and walked the few steps to George's door and knocked. Robbie retrieved his jacket, which had come untied and fallen on the floor, then followed him. George's door was opened by Darren.

  'About time you dudes got here – what kept you, were you fooling around in the corridor?' he said.

  'Dude please,' said Omo, passing Darren and entering the suite. Darren moved slightly to block Robbie, he glanced down, smiling, and said, 'Your hoover hose is showing.' Robbie looked and saw Darren was right, he quickly pushed it back into his jeans. Darren smirked and let him pass. Robbie signalled Omo for a secure connection.

  'I hate Darren, I hate Darren, I hate Darren, I hate Darren, I can't believe you kissed him, I hate Darren.'

  'I did more than kiss him dude. If you like, later on, when we're alone, after you've said sorry for the whole refinery tunnel thing, you can punish me.'

  'Huh!'

  Inside the suite George lay on one of the sofas with his eyes closed, while the other was piled with outdoor clothing brought by Camilla, who was trying to find a jacket and trousers large enough to fit Dex; Camilla invited Omo and Robbie to sort through the clothing to find something to wear.

  Amber was already dressed in warm clothes, human style; he smiled at Robbie. 'Hi Robbie, do you like my disguise?'

  Camilla left Dex trying on another jacket and joined them. 'Amber, yeah, you must remember to keep your scarf over your mouth and nose.' She unwound a woollen scarf from Amber's neck and rewound it to cover his mouth and nose. 'You guys have loads less moisture in your breath, yeah, so when you exhale your breath doesn't condense much, and it gives away that you are robots.'

  Amber looked at Robbie, Robbie thought he was smiling.

  'Hello Camilla,' said Robbie, 'are you feeling better?'

  'Oh yes, loads, thank you. When I feel sad now I just go to my place of power and I feel much better.'

  'Um, what's your place of power?'

  'Oh, well, it's different for everyone, yeah, but mine is a party in a huge old-fashioned ballroom, and I'm standing at the top of this wonderful staircase ready to make my entrance, wearing this fantastic dress, and my hair is up yeah, with diamonds in it, and then my name is announced, and as I walk down the stairs people stop dancing and talking to look at me, so that by the time I reach the bottom everyone is silent, and then the most handsome man in the room asks me to dance.'

  'What does your dress look like?' said Robbie.

  'It's midnight blue yeah, and it has lace and sequins on the bodice, it's really long–'

  'Does it swish on the ground?'

  'Of course.'

  'What's the fabric? It sounds like taffeta would be good.'

  'Oh yes–'

  'Robbie!' said Dex. He bounded over and gave Robbie a hug, lifting him off his feet. 'I didn't see you there.' He put Robbie down. 'Are you OK? You can't go back to those monkeys now that they've tried to kill you.'

  'What?' said Camilla. 'They tried to kill you? Oh no, how awful, oh Robbie, thank God you are safe.'

  She started to cry and then putting her arms around Robbie's neck, she leaned her head on his shoulder and sobbed. Robbie put his arms around Camilla and hugged her gently, he was instantly disturbed by the smell of vanilla, and the interestingly liquid feel of her body pressed against his. He smiled at Dex and Amber over Camilla's shoulder. Omo appeared behind Camilla, pulled her out of Robbie's arms, and turned her to face him.

  'Camilla soon the sun will rise, and all the dudes watching it from the marquee are going to have a wild time, and say this was the best sunrise day ever. And everything's going to look better in the light.'

  Omo had cupped Camilla's face with his hands, now he used his thumbs to wipe away tears. 'And I have something wonderful to tell you. We saw moss still alive on the plain just a few days ago, and when Amber went to put up your tent, he found more of it. You know what that means?'

  Camilla nodded. 'It means that perhaps one day I could have a garden.'

  'That's right dude, just think how wonderful that would be.' Omo smiled and hugged Camilla, he looked over her shoulder at Robbie and winked.

  'But what about Robbie?'

  'Robbie will be fine, as long as he has his friends.'

  When they were all dressed to Camilla's satisfaction, Robbie woke George from his stupor on the sofa. George's eyes were red and Robbie could smell alcohol on his breath. Robbie helped him up, and into his outdoor clothing. 'I don't understand all this fuss about a sunrise,' said George.

  'Stay here for the winter and you will,' said Robbie.

  Camilla realised that Omo's jacket said 'Catering' on the back. She peeled the sign off the jacket, and threw it on one of the sofas. 'Otherwise you'll be asked to fetch wine and snacks all day,' she said.

  Robbie looked up at the sky, while the cable car creaked. The horizon in the north was on fire, the sky overhead dark blue and cloudless. As the car got higher he could see the ocean, the cliffs and the rocky plain below them. The distant mountains were no longer black silhouettes against the sky, Robbie could see details on their rocky surfaces.

  Robbie grinned at Amber. 'This is amazing.'

  'Isn't it though?'

  Robbie was headed for the top of an extinct volcano, its ground down crater now supplied with restaurants and fairground rides as well as rock pools. Empty for most of the winter, it was usually packed with Toytown residents in the summer. They were crammed into a cable car along with ten crates of wine that they had carried on to the subway station for Camilla, and then carried from the subway carriage to the queue for the cable cars. A couple of people had attempted to follow them into the car when it was their turn to board, but had quailed when Dex had blocked the doorway and given them a look.

  'Look at that sky yeah,' said Camilla.

  Omo, George and Camilla sat on top of the crates which they had piled in the centre of the car, while Darren, Dex, Amber and Robbie stood by the windows. George was grey and sweating despite the cold, while Camilla looked cheerful under a pink knitted cap over her blond hair, and hadn't cried since they had left the hotel.

  'How are you George?' said Omo.

  'Do you think this thing is safe?' said George.

  'Finest monkey engineering,' said Dex. 'Of course it's safe, we haven't had a cable car disaster for, oh, how long has it been Darren?'

  'All winter at least dude. You know we never did find that man's arm. It has to be on the mountain somewhere.' Darren turned and looked out of the car's glass sides, scanning the ground below. 'It was about here I think.'

  George groaned. Robbie wished that Dex would not call humans 'monkeys' in front of him. And Camilla.

  'Dude, they're teasing you, there's never been a cable car disaster,' said Omo.

  'It's really perfectly safe,' said Camilla.

&nbs
p; 'I've been up and down all week, taking things to Camilla's tent,' said Amber.

  As the car neared the top they started to see lights dotted around the summit.

  'We brought up wood for bonfires,' said Amber, 'real wood – isn't that amazing? And we pulled the coverings off all the fairground rides and tested them. The rides are all free today. When we're done I want a go on the bangers.'

  'What are they?' said Robbie.

  'They're these little transports, only one or two people can fit inside. And the idea is you drive at people in other bangers and crash into them.'

  'It's a perfect game for monkeys,' said Dex, 'pointless, violent and destructive.'

  'I'll go with you,' he said to Amber. 'It sounds like fun.'

  Amber smiled at him, and Robbie had a feeling like a door opening in his heart. He realised that he and Amber were becoming friends.

  Once at the summit the robots unloaded the wine and with each of them carrying two boxes they followed Camilla to the marquee, On the edge of the almost unfrozen ponds sweat lodges had been set up, their doors facing the direction of sunrise, with fires burning outside. Robbie watched a young man accept a dare from his friends to throw off his clothes and run into the freezing water of one of the ponds; he quickly ran out again and into the sweat lodge, to the laughter and jeers of his friends. Others danced and drank while families thronged the fairground rides.

  The marquee was placed far from the ponds, at the edge of the summit crater, positioned to give the best view of the sunrise. The front and sides of the tent were open but transparent plastic doors and walls were ready to be let down at any time should the weather worsen. The roof and interior divides were in a cream coloured material, that looked natural and not plastic to Robbie, who thought the whole thing looked beautiful, especially as the lights strung across the ceiling were pointed up, so their light was reflected back down as a glow. Camilla led them to the back, and through a tunnel made of the same fabric to the kitchen area. They joined the humans in Camilla's crew in preparing trays of snacks, bowls of hot wine with spices and setting up the heaters and tables inside the tent. Camilla had told them that soon there would be a daytime fireworks display, after which people would crowd into the marquee for food, drink and the sunrise.

  Dex suggested to Amber that he might like to take off, since he had been helping Camilla set up for the sunrise festival all week; Amber asked if Robbie could go with him. Robbie asked George if he would like to join them, but he refused, saying he would stay and work in the tent for as long as the others had to. Camilla insisted on winding their scarves across their mouths as they left, but as soon as they were away from the marquee they unwound them so they could talk. Robbie asked Amber if it was wrong of him to feel happy at least partly because of the relief he felt in escaping from work that his friends were doing.

  Amber laughed. 'We can't help the way we feel.'

  'Can I tell you something?' said Robbie.

  'Of course, you can tell me anything.'

  'Well, I suppose word has spread about Carlos, and I keep getting letters from people who knew him, but I don't know how to reply. I don't know what they expect from me. I'm not Carlos, I don't remember them. And also… well also… I don't think I like Carlos. He was arrogant. He was clever and he had all these ideas but he had no patience for people who weren't as clever as he was. I mean what if his friends are all like him, clever and arrogant?'

  'Dex was a friend of Carlos. He isn't arrogant. Dex says that Carlos insisted on the truth, and was brave, and loyal to his friends. And he was dedicated to the union and freedom for all robots. Maybe he was arrogant but he had these other things too, and may be his friends are arrogant but maybe they aren't, maybe they just forgave him because he was their friend and friends forgive each other.'

  'I hadn't thought of it like that.'

  'You could write back to them, and tell them you don't remember them but ask for their memories of Carlos.'

  'That's a good idea,' said Robbie. 'That will tell them what to expect from me, and their memories of Carlos will tell me what was important about Carlos to them. Amber you're a genius.'

  Robbie and Amber made their way through the stands selling food, and drink, and promising instant riches or a life-changing encounter with the strange. The space between stalls was crowded with human families and groups of unaccompanied young people. Robbie had no idea there were so many teenagers in the world, never mind in Toytown. After they pushed past a booth of laser rifles offering prizes for sharp shooters he found himself staring at a rink, raised up on a platform, covered with a roof painted blue and yellow, but open sided, and filled with brightly coloured vehicles, almost round but elongated just enough to be oval shaped. Three shallow steps led up to the rink, people were lining up on them waiting for their turn. On the inner part of the rink the ground rose and fell, surrounding this was a large flat area where most of the cars were circling. Drivers crashed into others, and often tried to push bangers into the obstacle course in the middle.

  Robbie and Amber joined the queue. Driving a bright red vehicle Robbie spotted what looked like a teenage Japanese girl, Shauna. He looked for the others, and spotted Sheena and Sharon in a green banger, coming up fast behind Shauna. The green banger hit Shauna from behind as Robbie watched, several other cars piled in, one car was pushed backwards into the middle area, its occupants screamed as they accelerated down the first dip. Robbie could hear Sheena, Shauna and Sharon laughing. A human stepped into the gridlock, tall, about 40 years old, with reddened fair skin, and thick strawberry blond hair in a pony tail, he peeled vehicles away from the herd, setting them in motion again, breaking up the gridlock. Robbie admired the grace of his movements. Without meaning to he listened in to the girl bots.

  'You know this is ancient, right?' he heard Sharon say. 'Humans have had some version of this fairground ride for more than a thousand years.'

  'They don't get everything wrong,' thought Robbie.

  After they had waited for a few minutes the human running the ride, the one who Robbie had watched breaking up the gridlock, called a halt, and the current drivers clambered out of their vehicles and streamed off the rink on the opposite side. As the man started to let people on to the rink to choose their vehicle he recognised Amber, and beckoned Robbie and Amber to the head of the line. 'Hey that's not fair,' said a teenage boy.

  'Sorry guv I have to let them on first, very important people, ride inspectors,' said the human, tapping his nose with his finger.

  He led them to one of the small, open top vehicles. The controls were primitive – a foot brake, an accelerator and a steering wheel.

  'I like this one, it accelerates quickly and the wheel is very responsive. You'll get a good ride.'

  'Can we crash into the others as hard as we like?' said Robbie.

  'Yeah, full frontal, or, my personal favourite, a stealth attack from behind,' said the human. 'This is what machines used to be like, they'd do anything you wanted them to, however stupid, with no arguments.' He bent over Amber. 'Listen mate, thanks for all your work this week, you and your friend stay on when the ride ends and have a second go.' He winked and pushed Amber and Robbie onto the starting grid.

  'He owns this ride,' said Amber. 'I helped him fix some of the damage from winter storms and get the ride going again. Then we had a few test goes – it was so much fun.' Amber gripped the steering wheel. 'You can drive on the next go,' he said.

  Once all of the bangers were occupied and on the starting grid, a screen above them counted down 3, 2, 1, 0. Amber watched it fixedly and was quickly off the grid and racing around the track. When the bangers crashed into each other, a rubber skirt briefly inflated around each, meaning that they crashed then bounced off each other. Sometimes there was a pile up, and it could take a while to fight their way out of it and get their car started again. Robbie found that it was even more fun than Amber had promised. And that it was as much fun being crashed into as crashing into others, which was just as well
because the teenage boy had made it onto the starting grid; he singled them out for his personal attention and was a better driver that Amber. At the end of the ride, Amber asked the owner to allow the boy to stay on for another go, telling him that they had revenge to exact. Amber and Robbie swapped places, the owner bent over Robbie who was grasping the steering wheel, almost beside himself with excitement. 'My advice? Hang back a bit at the start and see if you can get behind the bugger.'

  'Thanks,' said Robbie, 'I'll give it a try.'

  The advice worked. Robbie hung in the boy's slip stream grinning at Amber. He accelerated straight into the back of the boy's banger, which spun and stalled, then another three bangers crashed into it. Robbie and Amber whooped as they blew past. They crashed a few more times, and caused a few more crashes, then Amber told Robbie that the boy was coming up behind them. Robbie spun the wheel, quickly turning180 degrees, and drove directly at him. They smashed together then bounced apart, and between them managed to take down enough other bangers to cause gridlock. By the time the bangers had restarted there was time for one more circuit before their second go was over; just as the race was about to end the boy somehow managed to blind side Amber and Robbie, taking them down by smashing into their left side from out of nowhere.

  They thanked the ride owner and disembarked. The boy followed them off the circuit. Amber turned to him. 'Hey kid, you're a good driver for someone who lives in a place without transports.'

  The kid shrugged. 'You're robots. I heard you broadcasting to each other.'

  'We have implants,' said Robbie.

  'You were on the frequencies reserved for robots. And while we were on the starting grid I was watching you. Your breath doesn't condense on the air.'

  'Son of a bitch,' said Amber.

  'The truth is,' said Robbie, 'that we are zombies, but very technically advanced ones.'

  'I'm not stupid.'

  Robbie turned towards Amber, away from the boy, covering his mouth and speaking high he said: 'This kid is very smart.'

  'Thanks for saying I'm smart,' said the boy.