Outback Ghost

by Rachael Johns

  He opened his mouth but shock rendered him speechless. Remembering the tumbler on the step, he lurched forward, scooped it up and downed the entire contents in one gulp.

  ‘I guess this has come as a bit of a shock,’ Dave said.

  Adam shot him a glare and finally found his voice. ‘No kidding!’

  ‘I’m sorry.’ The look in Dave’s eyes said he meant it. He took another sip and then rested his glass on the veranda railing. ‘I loved your mum, I really did, but the woman I married is long gone. And living with a stranger, who barely talks to me, has taken its toll. I miss your sister as much as she does, but I don’t want to live like this anymore. I hoped if I took early retirement, we could get away from here. Go someplace less toxic, somewhere she could start to heal but we both know how ridiculous that dream is.’ He laughed cynically. ‘If twenty years aren’t enough, she’ll never get over it. It’s time for me to let it go.’

  Adam wanted to argue. He was angry at his dad for taking the easy way out but at the same time he couldn’t blame him. Nothing about living with his mum had been easy. She hadn’t even left the farm in the last two decades; going further afield would take a miracle.

  ‘O-kay,’ he said slowly. ‘When are you going? What will you do? Have you told Mum?’

  Dave nodded but didn’t meet Adam’s gaze as he did so. ‘Last night. I decided to stay until… well, until after this morning.’

  Adam opened his mouth to reply even though he had no idea what to say but his dad went on before he had a chance to speak.

  ‘I’m sorry, son. I’ve been deliberating over this decision for months. I don’t want to leave you in the shit, but it’s bloody draining. I’ve tried to help her, Lord knows I’ve done my best, but I’m tired of not being enough.’

  If Adam understood anything, it was that. He’d had the same thought over and over again throughout the last twenty years. So many times he’d wanted to shout at his mum, that yes, her daughter was gone but she still had a son. Wasn’t he enough? How about she pay him some attention? Make him feel like her life was worth living because of what she had left?

  But, of course, he’d never challenged her because he was responsible for all of this.

  For this same reason, he couldn’t begrudge his dad leaving now. Even if it would mean the burden of his mother’s welfare would lie solely on his shoulders. In essence Adam was the one who’d lost his little sister, so he had to pay the price.

  *

  Stella Reynolds laughed, smiled in the rear-view mirror and then joined in with her excited daughter’s singing along to the lyrics of ‘Summer Holiday’ as they travelled north along the Brand Highway. Cliff Richard was her mother’s all-time favourite singer and as a child, Stella couldn’t help learning all his songs off by heart. Her mother used to play her favourite songs full bore whenever she did the housework and sometimes she’d stop and drag Stella and her little brother up to dance. As a teenager, Stella had pretended to hate this but secretly she’d loved it. Stella smiled wistfully at the happy memory, then sighed. Of course she hadn’t heard any Cliff for years but when she’d been packing their things for two long-overdue months in the country, Summer Holiday had planted itself in her head and she’d been helpless but to sing.

  Heidi, excited because her mother’s enthusiasm was infectious, had caught on quickly and it was now her new favourite song. When something was a favourite with Heidi, everyone around her knew about it. That was one of the many things Stella loved about her daughter and one of the many things other people sometimes found confronting.

  ‘Where we going, Mummy?’ Heidi spoke from the back seat, where she sat with her favourite pink teddy bear, a yellow rubber duck toy and her imaginary friend Polar taking up the rest of the back seat. Stella had worked hard to fit all their clobber in the boot and in the front passenger seat next to her in order to leave the backseat free for Polar.

  ‘A beautiful little town called Bunyip Bay.’ Stella smiled again at the thought of sharing two long months with Heidi. She’d taken her out of school a couple of weeks early because the school Christmas celebrations were done and dusted and Stella had been so excited at the prospect of finally having time off, she hadn’t been able to wait until the holidays officially started.

  ‘There really bunyips?’ Heidi asked. ‘Polar scared of bunyips.’

  ‘I’m not sure, honey, but if there are, I’m sure they’re friendly bunyips. How about we go bunyip hunting first thing tomorrow?’

  Another glance in the rear-view mirror showed Heidi’s eyes almost as wide as the rim of her glasses. ‘You work tomorrow?’

  Stella shook her head. ‘I don’t have to work for two whole months, munchkin.’ Thanks to a small advance for a non-­fiction book she’d written, she could enjoy some well overdue time off. ‘It’ll just be you, me, the beach and lots of time to have fun together.’

  ‘Bunyips and beach?’ Heidi twisted her head to look at the empty seat beside her. ‘Hear that Polar? You pack bathers?’

  Heidi chatted a few more minutes to her latest in a long line of imaginary friends and then resumed her singing of Summer Holiday. Stella absentmindedly joined in, but her mind was full of thoughts of what lay ahead. It felt like she’d been planning this holiday forever and she couldn’t wait to arrive.

  As a working single mum Stella had never been able to spend as much time with her daughter as she wanted to. All things considered, Heidi was well adjusted and the teachers and other children at her school were like an extended family, but that didn’t stop Stella’s guilt. She didn’t regret any of the decisions she’d made regarding her daughter, but she wished she could offer her more. Not material things – they didn’t matter much to a child like Heidi. But time. It wasn’t that she hated her work, quite the contrary, but she resented the need to work and the time it took away from Heidi. She’d love to be a stay-at-home-mum but due to lack of support from her family or Heidi’s father’s family that was impossible. Thankfully Heidi was older now and went to a fabulous school, because none of her daycare centres had been very good at coping with her needs.

  Stella shook her head. She didn’t want to waste any time thinking about the past or what could have been, she simply wanted to make the most of the special time they had ahead. She had so many plans for how they would spend the next couple of months – bushwalks, swimming at the beach, just hanging together. And the best part? This Christmas she wouldn’t have to work at the restaurant and leave Heidi with very supportive friends.

  One such friend, Joanna, who also had a child with special needs, thought Stella was insane for choosing a farmstay cottage for their holiday. When Stella said she couldn’t afford a resort, like the one Joanna, her husband and son often stayed in, she’d suggested a caravan park, so Heidi might meet up with other kids. But the truth was, Stella wanted to give Heidi a chance to experience some of what she had growing up in the country. The open space, the fresh air, the animals… And if she were even more honest, she missed living on a farm and hoped the next two months would help ease some of the pain in her heart also.

  ‘Polar needs to wee,’ piped up Heidi.

  Stella eyed the ‘Welcome To Bunyip Bay’ sign on the side of the road. ‘We’re almost there. Can Polar wait ten minutes till we get to the farm?’

  Heidi frowned slightly. ‘Is animals on farm?’

  ‘It’s a sheep and crop farm,’ Stella informed, ‘so I’m guessing there’ll be hundreds of sheep and maybe a couple of working dogs. But there might also be foxes, wild rabbits and if you’re lucky, maybe even a kangaroo.’ And snakes and spiders, she added silently, not wanting to scare her daughter. ‘Can you hold going to the toilet a few more minutes?’

  ‘Kay.’ Heidi nodded, distracted as she looked out the window as the town they’d call home for next few months came into view.

  Stella hadn’t been this far north since she was a kid and her family had gone to visit old friends up in Carnavon but the place didn’t look like it hadn’t changed
much in the last couple of decades. A row of shops still stood along the main street – an IGA supermarket, a post office, a café that looked surprisingly funky for the small town, a medical centre, chemist and, of course, the obligatory pub. Not that she’d be spending any time there.

  When she’d seen the small cottage for rent on the Internet farmstay site, recollections of that family trip had come rushing back. She remembered they’d stopped for an ice-cream in Bunyip Bay, how she’d been sick of driving and asked why they couldn’t just stay here forever. The two-bedroom cottage was only a four and a half hour drive from Perth and sounded simply perfect for them. For years she’d dreamed of giving Heidi the kind of family holiday she’d enjoyed as a child herself. Although estranged from her family now, she couldn’t deny her parents had given her a childhood filled with fun and joy and she wanted to give Heidi the same opportunity. She’d held her breath as she entered her details on the online form and waited to see if the cottage was available for the period she required.

  It was. And it was a lot cheaper than she’d envisaged, which would mean she wouldn’t have to be a scrooge for the two months they were away.

  ‘Bunyip!’ Heidi cried.

  Stella looked in the mirror to see her daughter pointing towards something coming up on their right. She slowed the car, smiling at the large statue of the mythical creature that stood on the edge of the local park. ‘You know what? I think it is. Let’s stop and take a photo.’

  Heidi, always happy to pose for the camera, had her hand on her seatbelt and practically bounced out of the car the moment Stella went round to help her out. Laughing, she shut the car door, only to be told seconds later, ‘Mummy, Polar inside. Wants to see Bunyip.’

  ‘Sorry.’ Stella stifled a smile as she opened the door again. ‘Is she out yet?’ she asked after a few moments.

  ‘Yes, she’s climbing.’ Heidi ran, giggling, towards the massive Bunyip landmark, presumably after Polar. Whatever Polar was, she must be fast, Stella thought as she closed the door a second time. Although the imaginary friend’s characteristics could change from day to day depending on Heidi’s mood and what else was happening. Polar had been with them for about three months now, which made Stella think she’d be leaving any moment. Usually Heidi’s ‘friends’ only stayed a few months. She wondered who would come next.

  Maybe one day Heidi would grow out of these special friends, but Stella didn’t mind them at all. She loved hearing her daughter talk to or about her latest friend because it proved her to be far more complex and intelligent than many gave credit for. Heidi continually proved that it was stupid to try to put any child in a box.

  ‘Heidi. Polar. Smile!’ Stella yelled, as she held up her iPhone to snap a memory. The beginning of the best summer of our life. She let Heidi crawl all over the statue for a little longer, but when she asked if she could play on the climbing frame, Stella shook her head.

  ‘Sorry, hon, but we can come back soon. We’ll be here all summer, remember?’ She knew if Heidi got on the swing, hours would be lost before she managed to get her off, and she wanted to get to the cottage and settle in before dinnertime.

  ‘Okay, Mum.’

  Stella’s heart turned over in her chest with love and pride as her daughter ran towards her and placed her little hand in hers. Every day with this gorgeous girl was a blessing. Yes, there’d been tough times but Stella thanked the Lord she’d been strong enough to fight the forces of those who’d tried to take that from her. They took a quick detour to the public conveniences so Polar could go to the toilet and then headed back to the car.

  ‘Shall we let Polar in first?’ Stella asked as they arrived at the car and she opened the back door.

  ‘Yes.’ Heidi nodded seriously. ‘She’s lady and ladies go first, don’t they, Mummy?’

  ‘They sure do.’ Smiling, Stella helped Heidi into the car, clicked her seatbelt into place and then kissed her on the forehead. ‘I love you, sweetheart.’

  ‘Love you too, Mummy.’

  Stella swallowed the lump in her throat as she slid into the driver’s seat and turned the ignition. It was that unconditional, overflowing love that got her up in the mornings. It was what drove her every thought and action, through each and every day and had made her life worth living during the numerous times when everything had seemed too hard.

  Chapter Two

  With one eye on Heidi as she tore around the small picket-fenced yard of the cottage, Stella glanced at her watch, which read three-thirty. Could they be in the wrong place? She looked behind her up the three wooden steps that led to what could only be described as a quaint outback cottage, the exact description used on the farmstay website. And if they were in the wrong place, then she’d found that cottage’s twin. She dug her phone out of her pocket, pulled up the image she’d saved off the website and compared it with this house. Yep, the white-washed walls, the shuttered windows, the love-seat swing on the veranda, the shiny red tin roof and the newly planted water-wise garden, not to mention the white picket fence. All of it was an identical match.

  So where the heck was Adam the owner? He’d agreed to meet her here at three o’clock to hand over the key and was now officially half an hour late. She hated tardiness in any situation but was most annoyed because if she’d known he was going to be late, she’d have let Heidi play for longer in the park. Not that Heidi seemed to be at all concerned – she was happily picking summer flowers from the garden beds that bordered the cobbled path.

  Tapping her foot, Stella wondered if she’d made a mistake. There’d been so much on her mind the last few weeks that maybe she’d misunderstood his email. Maybe he’d left the key somewhere.

  ‘Heidi,’ she called to her daughter, who was now twirling like an uncoordinated ballerina through the garden. ‘I’m just going to check round the back. Come with me?’

  Holding her flowers close to her chest, Heidi ran to her mother. Hands joined, they climbed the steps together and ventured round the back of the veranda. There was nothing sweeter in life than a veranda that wrapped right around the house, Stella thought. She could already visualise sitting out here in the early evening with a quiet drink and a book to read after Heidi had gone to bed. That’s if she ever managed to get inside. She’d tried the front door and now she tried the back, which was also locked. The curtains were closed and she felt like an intruder creeping around looking for a good point to break in.

  ‘Mummy, look.’ Heidi let go of her hand and crouched down to point at a fat tabby cat slinking along the back veranda.

  Stella wondered if it was wild, it looked scruffy to say the least, but before she could utter a word of warning, Heidi had dropped to her knees, scattering the flowers at her feet as she bundled the cat into her arms. Stella cringed, expecting the cat to lash out, but it didn’t. It kind of flopped into her arms, its head leaning on her shoulder and its big belly hanging over Heidi’s arms. Stella couldn’t help but laugh.

  ‘Likes me,’ Heidi cried excitedly.

  Stella knelt beside her daughter and stroked the scruffy cat’s head. Its purr, the loudest she’d ever heard, sounded like some kind of farm machinery.

  ‘Keep him? Please?’

  At Heidi’s question, Stella lifted her hand from where it was rubbing the cat’s chin. ‘He belongs to the farm,’ she said, softly, ‘but looks like he’ll be happy to be friends for as long as we’re here.’

  It was stupid; they hadn’t even set foot inside the cottage and already that time didn’t seem long enough. While she was glad the cat appeared to be happy to humour animal-mad Heidi, at the same time she didn’t want her daughter getting too attached. She’d wanted a pet since she was a toddler, before she could even talk, but Stella had steeled herself against getting one. Quite aside from the fact their rental agreement didn’t include pets, she worked long hours and didn’t like the idea of leaving an animal home alone too long.

  The cat began to squirm in Heidi’s arms.

  ‘I think you need to let him go f
or now,’ Stella said, standing up. ‘We can put some milk out for him later but for now we need to take a drive.’

  ‘Where?’ Still clinging to the cat, Heidi looked at Stella suspiciously.

  I’m annoyed too, sweetie, Stella thought, biting her tongue so not to voice her frustration. ‘Mummy has to go get the key for the cottage. Come on.’

  With a grumpy pout, Heidi reluctantly loosened her grip and the cat sprang away.

  Stella bundled Heidi into the car and headed back along the gravel track. She’d seen the impressive homestead when they’d arrived, but Adam’s email had said to drive straight past and on to the cottage. Still, she wasn’t going to sit around here waiting all night for him.

  ‘Mummy, look. Sheep.’

  There had to be hundreds of them. Stella thought nostalgically of home, sad she couldn’t take Heidi there and show her round the farm she’d grown up on. Off in the distance, in a far paddock she saw a header with golden dust billowing behind it. She frowned, wondering if it was Adam driving. Probably, but rather than chase him through paddocks, she’d head to his house and hope his wife or someone was there to give her the key. As they continued, Heidi sang Baa Baa Black Sheep in the back; at least she didn’t seem upset by this less than smooth start.

  Stella parked the car under a big gum tree not far from the homestead and then helped Heidi out of her seat. She held her hand firmly as they progressed up the path towards the house, not wanting her to run around in this magnificent garden and cause havoc. The house looked like something out of Country Style. She guessed it to be almost a century old, but it had been well loved through all those years. A rocking chair and an old golden retriever sat on one end of the veranda. The dog looked up as they approached the front door, let out a lone bark and then dropped its head back onto its paws as if it couldn’t be stuffed acting as security. Stella raised her hand to use the heavy steel doorknocker, but before she could do so the main door peeled open.