Her Love Lost (Love Shattered Series Book 1)

by Unknown

  “I thought you were asleep?” I looked over at Lillian she sure as hell didn’t look like she’d been asleep at all. I was hoping to get out of the barrage of questions that was sure to come. At least until I had gotten a good night’s sleep.

  “No way girl. I have been awake this whole time. I have been pretending to sleep so Rob would keep on cuddling up to me, and he was sweetly running his hands through my hair, and he smells divine. Why on earth would I want to spoil that? He even sang a lullaby to the baby girl in my belly. Not to mention, I haven’t had to walk anywhere in the past hour because he so effortlessly carried my pregnant ass to the car and then from the car up here. My preggo body needs all the rest it can get.” She fluttered her eyes at me with a flirty gesture.

  “You have got to be kidding me, you are insane. What’s up with you and Rob anyway? Y’all were getting awfully cozy all night long.”

  “Oh no you don’t big sister. Rob is great but I want to hear all about you and Dex. He looks at you like he is in love with you.” She flips her hair like some high school cliché. I don’t know what she thinks she is talking about. In love with me yeah okay. Pfft. Whatever.

  “In love with me Lil? Give me a break. I just met the guy this morning. If I had to guess he is probably the furthest thing from in love. I ended up telling him about the kids tonight, he acted like he was totally okay with it. He probably won’t even call again. He was just trying to be nice, I’m sure for his public image and all that.’’ I didn’t even believe a single word that was coming out of my mouth. I hoped I sounded convincing to Lillian though. I was just too afraid to admit the truth that another guy other than Dave might actually be into me. I felt this energy whenever he was around that I have never felt before. Not even with Dave and I loved him relentlessly for many, many years.

  I don’t know what to do with this information. Am I ready for something more with Dexter? He seems to think whatever this is between us is going to last past this week. I am not sure how I can do a long distance relationship. Especially, starting up a new job and keeping up with the kids. I barely have time to shower as it is. Will I be able to commit to time on the phone and computer just to be with this guy? The guy I just met this morning. Yep, I am definitely losing my mind or something. I am sure whatever this is will fizzle out before I leave Saturday.

  “Well, when y’all end up getting married I am going to be the first to say, I told you so. Anyway, what is our plan tomorrow since we won’t be going on any stalking tours considering they have the week off and we already met the guys, so there really isn’t any need to stalk them anyway? We have their phone numbers for crying out loud. This week couldn’t have turned out any better if we tried. Best birthday ever!” Lillian stands up on the bed and starts dancing. You would never know she is six months pregnant almost 7 months now. She is nuts, but I love her just the same. Life is never boring with her around.

  “Well, Dexter asked if we wanted to go to the beach tomorrow and grill out and stuff. He says we can use the house in case it gets too hot out for you. He didn’t give me any details or anything so I guess we wait and see if they text us to let us know what time to be ready by in the morning.” I really hope they text us. I am looking forward to a day on the beach. I have heard Alabama coasts have some of the best shells. I can’t wait to see if what I have heard is right.

  Lillian goes to take a shower, so I pour myself a glass of wine and kick back with my kindle to catch up on some reading that I have been neglecting. I started reading shortly after Dave died, and in the past 2 years I have read over one thousand books. It’s my get away, my solace. Reading has helped me cope tremendously since he passed away. Had I not started reading I may not be in the shape I am today.

  Thirty minutes into my book, Lillian is just getting out of the shower. I swear she takes the longest showers known to man. I am pretty sure at home she stays in until the water turns cold. Me, I like to get in and get cleaned up and then get out. That could have a lot to do with the fact that I am used to only getting maybe fifteen minutes away from the kids at a time unless I want to come out to a disaster zone when I am done.

  My phone pings with a text message as soon as Lillian plops down on her bed. She looks up at me and smiles a lazy smile. I can tell the day is starting to catch up with her.

  “Well, are you going to check that or sit here staring at me all night?” I roll my eyes at her and grab my phone.

  Dexter: Tomorrow Rob and I will pick you ladies up at eight O’clock in the morning. Be ready for a fun time at the beach. I grill a mean hamburger. You will never want another hamburger again after you’ve had mine.

  Me: We will be ready bright and early. I can’t wait to try your world famous hamburger. I bet it’s tasty.

  I giggle at how dirty that sounded. Man I needed to get my head out of the gutter.

  Dexter: Is that a bit of a dirty insinuation my sweet Courtney girl? I didn’t know you had it in you ;)

  Me: Who me? Never ;) Thanks for a lovely evening we both had a good time. We will see you in the morning. Xoxo

  Dexter: It was my pleasure. See ya in the morning pretty girl. Sweet Dreams X

  I must be grinning ear to ear. I am in my own little world just staring at my phone reading my text conversation over and over. Lillian must be trying to talk to me but I don’t hear her. If the pillow she just threw to get my attention is any indication, I was in lala land.

  “What did they say? Will we be going to the beach tomorrow or not?”

  “Yeah. They are picking us up at eight in the morning, so we should probably get some sleep.” I walk over to my bed and snuggle down under the covers. For the first time in a long time I feel excited and happy that I have something to look forward to the next day. This week is for sure going to be good for me. I have a feeling it will be a major turning point in my life.

  I roll over so I am facing Lillian’s bed, she is close to falling asleep.

  “Goodnight Lillian. I will see ya in the morning. I really cannot believe this is all happening to us. We are the luckiest girls in the world.” I blow her a kiss goodnight. That’s something we always did when we were kids.

  “Lucky indeed Court. I am so happy to see you back to your old self again. I really missed the old you. Not that I didn’t love the sad version I just missed seeing you happy about life. Goodnight Courtney. Love you.” She blew me a goodnight kiss too.

  “Love you too Lilly Bear.”

  I rolled over away from her so she couldn’t see the tears in my eyes. I love her so much and I hate to think of all the stress I have been putting on everyone since Dave died. I know they worry about me all the time. After we get back from the trip I vow to be more like my old self again. I don’t want my family to be worrying about me so much. I have a lot to still be thankful for these days. I really am doing okay and after this week I have a feeling I am going to be doing wonderful. All thanks to Dexter, even if things don’t go anywhere between us after Saturday he has shown me what’s it’s like to live again and to feel wanted again. The old Courtney is back and nothing is going to stand in my way.

  Chapter THIRTEEN

  Dexter

  I woke up at five thirty this morning because I couldn’t sleep. I was too excited to be able to see Courtney again today. I lie in bed and read over our texts from the previous night with a grin on my face. That girl is something else that is for sure. Since I am wide awake and won’t be going back to sleep, I decide to head out for a run. I live on a farm that sits on about thirty acres with lots of trails that are great for running on.

  I get into my running gear, and just as I am starting to tie up the laces on my tennis shoes the sun is starting to peek over the horizon. Perfect, this is my favorite time of day to run. I grab my iPod and strap it on my arm, then put my ear buds in and head out side to do a few warm ups and stretches before I begin my run.

  As I am running I can’t help but notice a lot of the songs playing remind me of Courtney. Man I just can’t keep
her off my mind everything reminds me of her. When I have finished my run after a five mile trek around the property, I stop at the chicken house and collect some fresh eggs for breakfast then head in to shower and start packing the cooler for the day.

  By the time I am done with all of that it is time to head over and pick up Rob so we can go get our girls. Our girls, man I am just loving the sound of that. I know Lillian has a boyfriend back home, but from what I have heard he isn’t that great of a catch more like just a sperm donor sticking around, because if he didn’t have Lillian he would be a homeless loser. It would be kind of cool if Rob and I were dating sisters. Then we could travel back and forth together to see them in between shooting on the show. There I go spouting off like a high school teenage girl again.

  I pull into Robs drive way a mile down the road. Yes, he lives on my property in his own house. He bought a piece of land from me a while back when we first started filming together. We both like the privacy this land offers. Rob hops into the SUV then we head on down the road.

  “Dexter, please tell me why we are seeing these girls again today. I thought last night was just to smooth things over with them after I kicked that ball at them. Now here we are picking them up to spend the day with them again. I don’t understand.” Rob sounds irritated this morning.

  “Rob, dude, first of all, don’t act like taking these ladies out today is a hardship for you. They are beautiful women and I had a really good time last night. Second of all, I don’t know what it is about this girl but I can’t get her off my mind. There is something there between us that I have never felt before. I want to spend as much time with her as possible before she leaves on Saturday. Also, you and Lillian seem to have hit it off pretty good last night too.” I look over at him daring him to deny he had fun with her. Every time I looked over at them last night they were all close and comfortable. I thought I even saw him rub her belly and singing to her as well so he can’t deny that.

  “You are right. They are a lot of fun, and Lillian and I got along great, but she is pregnant man and she has a guy back home. That seems like too much trouble to get myself into. I think we could be really good friends but that’s about it. Plus she is having a kid dude. I am not ready to be a step dad. Who wants to raise someone else’s kids?” Rob doesn’t know it yet but he has officially pissed me off.

  “Courtney has three kids man. Their dad died. How can you be so callous about something like that? Those kids need a father figure in their life. If things work out with Cor and I, then you best bet your sweet ass that I am going to be there for those kids too. I won’t want to replace their dad, but I will be there for them in whatever way they need. You sounded like such a douche just then man. I didn’t take you for one of those guys that would be like that. From what we heard last night that poor baby in Lillian’s stomach doesn’t have much of a father figure. Any guy would be lucky to be with Lillian and help her out with that baby.” I was gripping the steering wheel so tight my knuckles were turning white. Who in the hell did Rob think he was. That was something I never would have expected from him.

  “Well, while your over there playing knight in shining armor to Courtney and her kids you can also be a role model for Lillian’s kid too, because I am not going to be the one to pick up some other guys slack, especially if he is still alive and well.” He crosses his arms over his chest and is scowling out at the road ahead of us.

  Choosing to just drop the subject for now I looked over at him and shook my head. I hope that he doesn’t really feel that way and is just scared. I saw the way they were together and he was looking at Lillian the same way that I was Courtney. We drove the rest of the way to the hotel in silence. I wasn’t going to let him ruin my day with Courtney.

  When we got to the hotel, I ran up and got the girls while I left a brooding Rob in the car. I hope he was in a better mood before we got back down there. I knocked on their bedroom door and waited only a couple seconds before Courtney opened the door. She was a sight for sore eyes. With her brownish-blonde hair braided up hanging over her shoulder, her sunglasses propped on the top of her head and her brilliant blue eyes almost the color of the blue sky on a cloudless day. I forget all about Rob and his issues.

  “Hey Gorgeous,” I grabbed her into a hug. I couldn’t wait another second to get my hands on her.

  “Hey there handsome,” a smile lit up her face and I loved that I was the one to put the smile there.

  “Are y’all all ready to go? Rob is down in the car waiting for us, he is kind of in a grumpy mood. He doesn’t like to get up early, so I don’t want to keep him waiting long.” I told a little white lie for Rob’s sake I didn’t want them getting the impression that it had anything to do with having to hang out with Lillian. Although, he was really always grumpier in the morning so technically it wasn’t really a lie at all. He must not have had his coffee yet today. That could explain his outburst in the car on the way over.

  “Yep. We are all set. Come on Lillian lets go.” She hollered into the room and out waddled a pregnant Lillian she looked a little miserable, but I didn’t want to say anything. I hope she was up for this trip today, I would feel badly if she feels like she has to tag along for her sisters sake.

  We all headed back down to my suburban. I helped Lillian into the back seat, I heard her tell Rob hello and he just grunted a response in return. I then opened Courtney’s door and headed over to the driver’s side. I think everyone was picking up on the tension pouring off of Rob, because the ride to the beach house was the quietest I have ever heard two women be. I turned up the radio to fill the silence. I think we will all be happy to get out of the car once we finally arrive to our destination.

  I drove the suburban up the house and backed into the spot so we could unload everything from the back onto the deck. The girls tried to help but I wouldn’t have that.

  “You ladies are here on vacation. You can go ahead and head on down to the beach and get settled and we will meet you down there when we are finished unloading everything.” I wanted her to be able to relax and not have to lift a finger.

  “If you’re sure?” Courtney asks before grabbing her beach bag out of the front seat. I saw that she also had a shelling bag in her hands too. Smart girl! Never head to the beach without your shelling bag.

  “Yep, we got it. Y’all head on down there and relax. Put on some sunscreen too the sun is brutal here. It should also be low tide too if you wanted to get a head start on looking for some shells just make sure you save some for me.” She threw her head back and laughed at that.

  “Well you don’t have to tell me twice. We will see you guys down there.” They headed down towards the shore line. I watched Courtney bend down to pick up a shell the second she reached where the waves were breaking. I needed to get this stuff unloaded so I could head down there and look for shells with her. I love that we had that in common.

  I unloaded the rest of the supplies and headed towards my girl. Rob went inside and said he would be out after he got his coffee. Yep, I figured that was his problem all along. I hope that he plans on returning to us in a better mood than before.

  Courtney was walking the shore line and Lillian had taken up camp in her beach chair and was sipping on a bottle of water with a book in her hand. I guess she saw that Courtney was far enough out of ear shot so she took that as her opportunity to threaten me with bodily harm if I ever hurt her sister.

  “She means so much to me Dexter. I am so glad to see her happy again. So please don’t break her heart and if you don’t see this going anywhere after Saturday please just be straight with her. I may be pregnant but I can still beat your ass.” She was giving me what I am sure she thought was a serious look but it was kind of cute. I could already tell that us two were going to have a great relationship, I was already thinking of her as a little sister.

  “I would never hurt her on purpose Lillian. I can’t guarantee I will never hurt her because guys are stupid and don’t think half the time but she means a lot
to me already. I can’t stand the thought of you guys heading back to North Carolina and me not being able to see her every day. But while I have ya here I wanted to see if you would be okay with Court having dinner with me tonight ya know alone? I didn’t know if maybe you wanted to hang out with Rob or if you didn’t mind hanging out at the hotel. Hell you can even stay here at the beach house if you want to. I just want to spend some time alone with her and get to know her better.” Lillian lifted her sunglasses, I guess to get a better look at me to see if I was serious. Then she let out a sigh.

  “You are the real deal aren’t ya Dexter? No, I don’t mind hanging out by myself tonight. I am sure I will be exhausted after the beach today so I will just turn in early. I really don’t want to hang out with Rob today either he seems to be in a shitty mood I am sure he doesn’t like getting stuck with the pregnant sister and would rather be spending his week off with someone who can be a bit more fun. If ya know what I mean?” She wiggled her eyebrows at me. This girl is a hoot.

  “Thank you so much Lil. I don’t blame you for not wanting to hang out with Rob today. He really is in a mood, but give him a chance he will come around.” I nodded my head in Courtney’s direction. “Well if ya don’t mind I am going to go head on over to her now before she finds all the good shells.” I left Lillian and headed towards Courtney and pulled my very own shell bag from my back pocket as well.

  Chapter FOURTEEN

  Courtney

  I was finding all kinds of awesome shells while I waited for Dexter to join me. I saw him talking to Lillian and wondered what they were talking about. She better not be telling him anything embarrassing about me. Dexter better hurry on over before I find all the good shells. They were rolling in with the waves and I was leaving no shell behind. My bag was already starting to fill up.