The Filthy Series: The Complete Dark Erotic Serial Novel

by Megan D. Martin

  I couldn’t yell at the mother. I couldn’t do that and get to know Faye. The little girl who would be mine. I could feel it in my bones. I could feel it in every cell of my being. Faye was meant to be mine. And she would be.

  I smiled at the mother. The ugly woman who had yelled at her. I gritted my teeth in my mouth when she noticed me. Her words were lighter when she spoke now. I watched her size me up with her dusty eyes, just like every other woman. I listened to her prattle on for several minutes—this woman whom I’d never met.

  “—and this is my daughter Fa—”

  “Faye.” Her name felt good on my lips. And she looked up at me with wonder, with his eyes that baptized me in their goodness. I wanted nothing more than to bury myself in that innocence. To immerse myself until there was nothing left of either of us.

  I smiled at her. She would be mine—only mine. My baby.

  My Faye baby.

  Faye’s First John

  Faye.

  Age: 16

  I shivered in the cold wind. The shorts and sandals I chose to wear when I left the house two days ago hadn’t meant much then. I hadn’t even considered them as I left the house. The one I shared with my mother and Taylor. The house where my baby was conceived through hate and blood. The house where I nearly bled out while Taylor fucked me.

  But that was all going to change. I was done. Done with Taylor. Done with my mom. I didn’t know where I was going. The rides I’d hitched had landed me here. I looked up at the yellowing sign of “Sandy’s Motel”. It hung crooked and a couple of the letters didn’t light up anymore. I didn’t have enough money to spend the night—no, all the money I had, had been spent on food, a different cheap motel, and a bus ticket that for a ride I’d missed.

  When Taylor went to work two days ago I left. I finally felt like some semblance of myself again—though I wasn’t entirely sure who I was anymore. But I was alive. I was me. Faye Turner. And I wasn’t going to live in that house with those monsters. Not anymore.

  “I can’t wait until you’re all better, Faye baby. We can start over.”

  His words from the night before I left made me shiver. He had crawled into bed with me for the first time since he fucked my bloody, dying body. He’d been around, hovering, but never said much after my emergency run to the hospital where he no doubt doled out thousands upon thousands of dollars to save my life and keep mouths shut.

  I’d lain there and looked into his eyes. Blue eyes I knew. Eyes I had looked into a million times. Eyes that loved me—or used to. He seemed so sincere, so intent, that things could really be new again. That we could really start over.

  For a moment I considered it. I thought of what it would be like. The things we would do. The places we would go. I imagined his loving hands on me, those were the best. Kind and gentle. It had been a long time since he’d touched me like that.

  “It will be good, just like it used to be. I promise.” His hands had fluttered down to my belly and I fought the urge to recoil, to jerk the fuck away from him. But I knew better. I could see the monster there just on the other side of that gentle love. The love was just a mask that covered that hideous being. I didn’t want it to come back.

  “’Scuse me, miss?” A deep voice jerked me from my thoughts. A guy who didn’t look much older than me, stood a few feet away from the curb I was sitting on. “You got time for me?”

  I frowned. “Time?”

  He smiled sheepishly and I noticed that one of his front teeth was crooked, slightly overlapping the other. “All the other girls are already taken right now, thought you might be lookin’ for a customer.”

  “Customer?” I blinked.

  A horrified look covered his face. “Oh, ah, ma’am I-I’m so sorry. I th-thought wrong.” He turned and started to move off.

  “Wait.” The word was out of my mouth before I could think better of it. “You think I’m a prostitute?” I asked, a giggle bubbling on my lips. It wasn’t funny. Not at all. I should have been offended. But somehow I wasn’t. Somehow I was giggling. It was probably because I was tired. It didn’t matter that I’d spent the last two nights in a bed. I’d barely gotten a wink of sleep.

  I kept waking up to images of Taylor. To him bursting through the door and carrying me back home. I had to stay hidden, to get far away—to a place where he could never find me. I didn’t want to know what he would do to me if he did.

  He’ll kill me.

  Of that I was certain. I belonged to him—at least that’s what he thought.

  I chewed on my lip. I was out of money with only a granola bar left in my backpack. I hadn’t thought very hard about leaving. I had just decided I wouldn’t live my life as Taylor’s whore anymore, as my mother’s emotional punching bag. So I left. Just like that. And two days in I was already more tired and hungry than I had been in my whole life.

  “I’m sorry, ma’am, the lighting isn’t real good over here. My mistake.” He turned to go again.

  “Wait.” I should have kept my mouth shut. I should have let the man go on with his life and I go on with mine. I should have looked back on this moment and laughed that this random guy wanted to pay me for sex. But I didn’t. Instead, I squeezed my fingers together at my belly, twisting and turning them together until they ached. “I am.”

  “What?”

  I swallowed. “I’m a prostitute.”

  “Oh.” He smiled sheepishly. That smile awoke something in me. It wasn’t love or attraction—oh, no, it wasn’t either of those things. It was something that told me I could do it. I could be whomever I wanted. I didn’t have to belong to Taylor. I didn’t have to be my mother’s daughter. Not if I didn’t want to.

  “You’ll get a room for us?”

  “I already got one, darlin’.” He sidled up to me. I noticed he wasn’t too terrible looking up close. He had some acne on his cheeks, but his eyes were a sea green and his teeth weren’t too yellow. “Right down here. Room 110.”

  “Great.” I swallowed, hoping he didn’t notice how nervous I was. Hoping he didn’t see that I was new at this.

  New. I almost snorted at the word. Sex was the last thing I was new too.

  “How much for the night?”

  “The night?”

  “Yeah, I wanna have you all night long, baby girl.” He leaned in and brushed his hand along my cheek. I shivered. I could smell the stale cigarettes on his breath.

  “Uh…” I almost chickened out. Right then. Right when I thought about what I was really about to agree to. To spend all night with a strange man between my legs. Pumping into me until came over and over. Taylor popped into my head, Taylor and the blood.

  “You’re killing her!” My mom’s voice echoed in my head and I shook it.

  “I—”

  “I’ll give you a hundred,” he cut in.

  “A hundred dollars?” Surprise fluttered through me.

  “Yeah.” He leaned in and pressed his lips against mine so quickly I didn’t have time to flinch away. His lips were different, smaller, less firm than Taylor’s. I didn’t like them, but I didn’t dislike them either. They were just lips that had touched mine. Lips that didn’t belong to Taylor.

  Something about that reality shuttered through me and made me feel alive for the first time in over a year. I didn’t have to belong to him. I didn’t have to belong to anyone.

  “It will just be sex right?” I glanced around. “With you?”

  “Yeah, baby girl.” He wrapped an arm around my waist. “Just me all night.”

  I let him lead me to motel room 110. I let him take my clothes off, strip me bare on orange, stained carpet. His muddy eyes were greedy as he looked me over. Desperate even.

  “You nervous?”

  “What, uh, I—”

  “Want somethin’ to take the edge off?” He reached into his pocket pulled out a little baggie filled with white powder.

  I frowned and twisted my hands together. “What is that stuff?”

  “Blow.” He shook a little bit o
ut in the space between his thumb and pointer finger. He pressed his nose to the space and inhaled. He rubbed his nose. “You’ve never had it?”

  I shook my head slowly. My fingers rattled against one another.

  I could just try it.

  He shook more of the powder out onto his hand. “Get on your knees,” he said when I bent awkwardly at my waist toward him.

  The carpet was rough against my skin, prickly almost, as if someone had spilled something sticky there and never cleaned it up.

  “Now just press your finger against one nostril and inhale with the other,” he said.

  I didn’t have another moment of indecision this time. I didn’t stop to consider what I was doing. Instead I followed his directions inhaling the powder into my body. The back of my throat tasted the way the Bunsen burners at school smelled during a science experiment.

  But I didn’t have time to think about that because he stepped out of his pants and pulled his shirt over his head. His chest was hairy and less muscular than Taylor’s. I reveled in the difference. In the awkwardly done skull and crossbones on his shoulder. The imperfections called to me somehow. My nipples hardened at the sight of his dick.

  Or is the drugs?

  I didn’t really care.

  His cock bobbed there between us, smaller than Taylor’s, but a little bit thicker.

  “You wanna suck it?”

  I glanced up and met his eyes. I should have been afraid. My brain kept shouting it at me. That I should be fucking terrified of this stranger who was about to fuck me. But I wasn’t. I felt strangely calm. “Do you want me to?” My voice was even, smooth like jazz music.

  “More than anythin’.” His cock jumped when I fixed my eyes on it. Almost as if it knew I was watching it.

  I got on my knees in front of him. It wasn’t until his dick hit the back of my throat did I realize that I didn’t even know his name. This man who’s dick tasted salty—Taylor’s used to taste like this after he worked out in the yard on Saturday’s. He would come inside and I would devour him, swallow him whole until he was coming down the back of my throat.

  Taylor would be so angry if he knew what I was doing. If he knew that I was gagging on someone else’s cock. That thought only made me suck harder, and try to take more of the stranger’s dick down my throat. It made me pump my wrist a little faster—until I was nothing but a bobbing head and a flexing wrist. Until I was just a body of flesh sucking a cock down my throat. I was no one to the man before me. No one but a good time. A blip of pleasure. I wasn’t this stranger’s Faye baby.

  I wasn’t anything.

  I was no one.

  And he when he exploded, his cum draining down my throat mixing with the drugs, his body convulsing in pleasure with his hands buried in my hair, I became invisible to the world, to Taylor, and most importantly—to myself.

  The Inbetween—during the six years apart

  Rhett.

  I let my car idle in the truck stop parking lot. The hum of the engine was quiet in the cold night air.

  I shouldn’t be here.

  But that was obvious. I knew better. I knew I shouldn’t be here at this place of all places. The place where I drug Faye to my car more than once. The place where she fucked hundreds of men. The thought made my hands flex on the wheel.

  Put the car in drive. Leave.

  But I didn’t. I continued to grip the wheel until my fingers ached.

  It’d been five months. Five months since she left. Five months since she went away and I let her go. Just two months ago I had finally pulled my life together by my fucking bootstraps—with Cayden’s help. Two months since I had been sloshed drunk out of mind. It seemed longer though. Like my fucked up, hazy state happened a millennia ago in a different world, a different time. It seemed farther away than the last time I had Faye. When I pushed her up against my car and fucked her. Since I had taken from her what everyone else had already had.

  I was just like them. Like him. My father. I was a piece of shit. There was no arguing with it. It was the truth. I put him away forever just to replace him with myself.

  Shame. The same feeling that had been slithering through me for months, threatened to swallow me whole. It threatened to engulf me, until there was nothing left.

  I needed a drink. Alcohol. I wanted it. Whiskey. I wanted to feel that burn. It was the burn that made this feeling go away. It set the shame on fire until I couldn’t feel anything, until I was just numb.

  I shook my head. No. I couldn’t go back there. I couldn’t. I would lose everything this time. It was a miracle I hadn’t lost it all to begin. Lucky. I was lucky. I told myself that everyone morning when I rolled out of bed to go to work. My new bed. The one in Cayden’s spare bedroom. I was lucky to be alive and to have a job still. I was lucky there were people in the world like Cayden.

  A soft rap on my window made me jump. A woman stood there.

  Not Faye.

  But I knew she wouldn’t be here. Cayden had checked. He looked every day for a month after Faye left and hadn’t seen a trace of her. She hadn’t come back here, just like she promised.

  The woman at the window was older, close to my age, early thirties or so. Her dark hair was dirty and matted. Her skimpy clothes didn’t look any better. She had to be cold. It was winter after all and temperatures had been in the forties all week. But she still wore tiny ripped up shorts and a pink top that didn’t cover her belly.

  I rolled down the window.

  “You’ve been sitting here for a long time.” She smirked at me. “You looking for a good time?” Her breath smelled bad, like she hadn’t brushed her teeth in a good while. But I wasn’t deterred by this. Not in the least. This was what I came here for.

  “Yes.” I pulled out a wad of cash. “Get in.”

  She smiled at me seductively and walked around to the passenger seat.

  I already had my pants undone by the time she climbed in. I didn’t care that we were sitting in the middle of a truck stop parking lot. I didn’t care that this was illegal. I had no fucks left to give about anything. My cock felt the same way.

  I hadn’t been inside a woman in months. Not since Faye left and I ended things with Sarah. But now it was time. In this place with a dirty hooker. I was ready.

  “Look at you, big boy.” She eyed me appreciatively.

  “No talking. Suck it.”

  “Wait a second.” She held a finger up. “Don’t be pushing my head down. I hate gagging.”

  I snatched the wad of cash off the dash and flipped through it. “Three hundred bucks.” I glanced at her. “I want you to gag.”

  Her eyes bugged. “Wait, three hundred just for a blow job?”

  I set the cash on the dash and fisted my cock. “Yes.”

  Her gaze darted between myself and the money. Her hands trembled in her lap and I knew what she was thinking. I knew she was imagining all the crack she could buy with that money. All the drugs that fry her brain until she was blissfully unaware that she was the scum of the fucking earth.

  “You’ve got a deal.” She lunged forward, taking my cock to the back of her throat. Pleasure rippled through me. It mingled with that shame I couldn’t shake. The two twisted together, becoming something bitter inside me.

  I pressed my hand down on her head forcing her to take all of me. Every single inch of my thick cock.

  She gagged, forcing my cock deeper.

  Shame. This was how I treated Faye. Like a fucking whore when I took her up against my car. When I plowed into her roughly, and came inside her. Just like this, almost. Except I was paying the whore-junkie gagging on my cock. I pressed my hand harder on the back of her hair. The strands were greasy, sticking to my fingers. I hated the feeling. I loathed it. It made my want to fling her away from me and speed off with my shame.

  But I didn’t.

  I dug my fingers harder into her scalp. She gagged again, but she didn’t stop. She didn’t try to deny me. She wouldn’t. Not with three hundred dollars on the fuck
ing line.

  She gagged again. The feeling only made my dick harder.

  The image of Faye popped into my head. Her leg wrapped around my waist while I moved inside her. Her fingers clinging to my shirt. The way she looked at me. Her brown eyes so dark under the alley light, but so full of something I didn’t even want to consider. Full of all the things I could never give her.

  I pressed down harder on the greasy head. She gagged again, triggering something carnal inside me. Something bitter and hateful. I thrust my hips up just as pleasure exploded behind my eyes.

  “Faye!”

  Faye’s face, her parted lips as she came around my cock covered my vision as I continued to thrust into the warm mouth swallowing me. Except that mouth wasn’t just gagging anymore. She was vomiting all over my cock, but I didn’t care. I didn’t give a fuck as the cum squirted out of me. It seemed to be drug from somewhere deep inside me, pulled from the darkest spaces of my subconscious until I was completely empty, vacant of all the shame, the pleasure. Life.

  She pulled back and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. I expected her to be mad that I fucked her face until she vomited all over my cock. I wasn’t even sorry that her eyes were watering. Monster.

  “You know Faye?”

  Her words startled me and stopped me as I reached for the towel in my gym bag. “What?”

  “Shauna will be worried about me.”

  The memory of Faye and I in the car that day I took her to the doctor practically two years ago flashed into my head.

  “Faye. Do you know her? I’m Shauna, her friend. I—I haven’t heard from her in over a year and—”

  “Get out.” I cut her off.

  “But—”

  “Get out.” I tossed the wad of cash into her lap and dug out my wallet. I threw another hundred dollar bill at her. “Now.”

  Shauna didn’t waste any time. She snatched up the money and all but fell out of my car.

  I watched her run across the parking lot. Hate filled me as I watched her too-thin legs move out of sight. I couldn’t explain it. I couldn’t define the way I felt aside from the hate and the loneliness. I wiped the vomit off my dick and threw the towel out the window while I drove home.