“Please calm down,” he said, his voice wavering.
“You think I would really hurt you?”
“I know this isn’t easy. I just—.”
“You should leave.”
“Ava, please don’t—.”
“I said leave.” She clenched her teeth. She didn’t want to watch him walk away so she turned around and got into her car. With a shaky hand, she brought the key to the ignition and turned it. The parking lot had emptied which made for an easy exit. She squeezed the steering wheel until her knuckles turned white. The tears waited on the edge of her eyes. She swallowed the lump in her throat repeatedly.
Angry rain pummeled her car. The loud banging sound grated her nerves. Staring into the thick shower, she parted it down the middle and pushed it aside like a curtain. She’d created an invisible umbrella over her car.
Not a single thought of Peter entered her mind. Instead, she zeroed in on the road ahead of her.
When she got home, she raced up the stairs to the apartment. Ava might have been able to hold the tears back, but the urging unease in her stomach couldn’t wait. She fumbled with the key in the door, but finally unlocked it and slammed it shut.
Rushing inside, she made it to the bathroom in time. Ava hated throwing up. She ran a washcloth under cold water and pressed it to her skin. Once she calmed a little, she started the shower and turned off her phone. Steam fogged the mirror, and she wiped away a section. Staring at her reflection, disgusted, her eyes fell to her necklace. There was only one way to do this without anyone knowing. She didn’t want to worry anyone, but she couldn’t let them endure this. She reached back, unclasped the necklace, and removed it.
She felt naked without it, but free. No one could feel her anymore, especially Peter.
She stepped into the shower.
No one could hear her cries and moans under the powerful water from the shower nozzle. She felt the water wrap around her, like it was hugging her.
No one could hear the screams muffled by the towel as she buried her face in it. The tears wouldn’t stop. She gasped for air and when a sliver of air slid down her throat she choked.
Ava curled up under the blankets and cried into her pillow. Everything came forward. Colden. Her missing friends. Her mother’s betrayal. And now, the only man she ever loved didn’t love her anymore. She hoped it was all a dream, but it wasn’t. Her heart ached. Everything was crashing down on her.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
BLACK TANGLED HEART
This wasn’t supposed to happen. Ava and Peter were invincible. They loved each other. They were meant for each other. Then why had he fallen for someone else? The words replayed in her mind like a song on repeat. Taunting her. Her chest tightened as her heart sank, drowning in her ocean of pain. With her stomach still tied in knots, the nausea returned.
Cursing, she forced herself out of bed and ran to the bathroom. What little bit of dinner her father made her eat last night was gone. After he’d lectured her about worrying everyone for removing her necklace, he had periodically checked on her throughout the night. She never told him what was wrong, but when Savina had called he assured her Ava was fine.
Ava flushed the toilet and rested her head on her arm. Her body involuntarily trembled. She heard a knock on the door, but her head was too heavy to look up.
“Sweetie, are you okay?” her father asked.
“Yeah,” she said, her voice hoarse.
“Are you sure? Is this the disease again?”
“No.”
“You want some medicine?”
She made a noise, though she wasn’t sure if he could comprehend it.
“Come on.” He lifted her arm around his neck and helped her back to bed. “Why aren’t you wearing your necklace?” He tucked her under the covers.
“I’ll be okay. It’s just stress.” That was an understatement.
“You can’t make yourself so sick like this. And you cannot take your necklace off, especially now. Where is it?”
She cleared her throat trying to make her voice less croaky and recoiled from the lingering acid that burned. “It’s in the bathroom. I’ll put it on in a minute.” No luck on losing the hoarseness. Each time she spoke, it was like she’d swallowed gravel.
“You can’t worry them like that.”
“Dad, I just wanted one night without them feeling me.”
“Why? They thought something happened to you. Do you know it feels like you died whenever you remove it? Savina said several people tried calling you. Why are you ignoring them? Why did you take your necklace off?”
She rolled over, letting out an annoyed sigh. She didn’t want to tell him the reason. A tear slid down her cheek.
“Ava, why did you remove it?” He repeated.
She groaned. “Because I don’t want him knowing how much this hurts.”
“Who? What happened?”
“Nothing.” She wiped her tears.
He sighed. “Did Peter do something? Thomas?”
She froze and turned her head to meet his eyes. “Dad, I’m only going to ask this once, but please never mention Peter again.”
He was taken-aback and opened his mouth to say something, but Ava stared at him. He shut his mouth and she rolled away from him.
“You need to put your necklace back on,” he finally said.
“They can handle without me for right now. They know I’m not dead.”
“Ava.”
“Dad, I’ll put it on a minute,” she snapped. She felt bad for the attitude, but wished he would understand. When she heard her door close, she relaxed. Her dad didn’t deserve that.
She lay there, trying to make herself leave the bed, but it didn’t happen. She tried to imagine what Colden would say to her. Or Melissa. Or Jeremy. Or even Joss. She thought of Gabriel, and hated that she upset her coven.
How could Peter have done this? He lied to her, but for how long? He claimed he loved her. And that he would always be there for her. Ever since he changed into an Enchanter, he hadn’t been there. How could he have feelings for someone else so soon? How long did he love this person?
Was it her fault? Did she push him away? She knew she hadn’t been easy to get along with lately, but she tried so hard to help him.
She looked down at her wrist and stared at the silver bracelet. Without you, I’m nothing. He’d given it to her for her eighteenth birthday. It wasn’t true. He couldn’t like someone else, could he? Who was it? It couldn’t have been someone at school, she didn’t think. Gillian was definitely not the one. Anastasya? Katarina? Natalia? The more she stared at the bracelet, the angrier and more miserable she felt. She tore it off her wrist and threw it across the room. It bounced off the wall. She was glad all her pictures and books and letters from Peter burned in that house fire. But then she regretted that thought and let the tears fall again. She pulled the heavy blankets over her head, hoping it would muffle the sounds that she made.
CHAPTER TWELVE
EVERYTHING’S GONNA BE FINE ONE DAY
Ava woke to the sound of rocks pelting her window. Annoyed, she opened her eyes, and realized it was the rain. She’d slept through the night, sort of. It was daylight out so it at least had to be the next day. She sat up and felt hung-over. Glancing at her phone on the nightstand, she decided it was time to check it. She turned it on and waited until all the missed messages loaded. There were several.
Lance. Thomas. Nicole. Link. Peter. Her stomach clenched when she saw some from Gabriel. She clicked on his name and read them.
Ava, are you okay? What happened?
Please talk to me. I can’t feel you. No one can.
I hope you find your way through the darkness, but I’m here if you need help.
Reading them only made her guiltier. She remembered how sad Gabriel got when she saw the Necromancer and no one could feel her. She’d been foolish and idiotic, yet again. Would she ever learn? She wanted to reply, but wasn’t sure what to say. Instead, she grabbed her necklace from t
he nightstand and with a deep breath, clasped it around her neck. The familiar hum filled her as she sensed her coven.
Within seconds, her phone beeped with a new message from Gabriel.
Welcome back.
Ava smiled a little, then removed the blankets from her. It was time to stop sulking in bed. She came out into the living room and joined her father, who was lounging in his recliner, watching some football game.
“How are you feeling?”
“Okay, I guess.” She plopped down onto the couch, relieved that her voice wasn’t hoarse.
“I can make some soup or something.”
Ava shook her head.
“You gotta eat something. You haven’t had anything to eat since Thursday. It’s been three days. I’ll heat up some soup.” He pushed his recliner into a sitting position and meandered into the kitchen. She rested her head against the couch and hugged her knees close to her chest. She watched men in red uniforms fight men in yellow and black uniforms over a football.
She wanted to talk to someone. Gillian and Thomas were definitely the wrong ones. Lance was dealing with his own pain. Gabriel wouldn’t want to hear about her agony.
Her father reappeared with a bowl of hot soup and a potholder underneath it. “I’ll get you some water, too.”
She held the steaming bowl close to her face hoping it would clear her sinuses. He came back with a bottle of cold water and set it on the little stand next to the couch.
“Thanks, Dad,” she said as he got comfortable again in his recliner.
“You’re welcome. There’s more in the kitchen if you eat all that.”
“I’m sorry for being a brat the last few days.”
“It’s okay. Thanks for putting your necklace back on.”
Ava ate as much as she could, which was about half. She promised her dad she would eat more later. Watching the game reminded her of the battle for some reason. Each tackle, whistle, cheer made her even more impatient. It had been almost seven weeks since that war. Corbin’s men had already attacked, and the coven hadn’t made one move to retaliate. How much longer did they have to wait? Everyone had healed. She wanted to leave and find her friends. She needed them.
Her father let loose some expletives and startled her.
“Why can’t we leave already?”
He muted the TV. “You have to be completely healed before you can go. You have to be patient, Ava.”
“I have been! I can’t sit here any longer.” She’d been sitting around too long and refused to let this set her back. She needed to keep her mind occupied. She bolted from the couch and into her room. Batting the tears away, she threw on a pair of jeans and a sweater and boots. Then she left.
She stormed down the flight of stairs and turned toward the woods away from the parking lot. The rain had let up, but not the clouds.
“Ava!” Her father’s voice echoed through the breezeway. She twisted her head and saw her father at the edge of the sidewalk.
“What?”
“Where are you going?”
“For a walk.”
“Be careful.”
“I will.”
She turned and plodded through the woods, letting the cold nip at her. Pushing stiff branches out of her way, which cut her frozen hands, she walked farther. She shivered, but ignored it.
Ava found herself at the cabin after a long while. She rounded to the front, climbed the few stairs and walked inside. She halted, seeing Lance stare into the flames in the fireplace. He dropped a handful of tiny branches on top. The flames grew for a second as the wood crackled.
“Sorry,” she said. “I needed to go somewhere.”
Lance turned his head. “Ava!” Relief flooded his face as he stood and ran to her. His strong arms pulled her into a rough embrace. “What happened? I couldn’t feel you anymore, and I tried calling. I called your house, but your dad said you were sick.” His dark eyes peered into hers, waiting.
She moved to the hearth and sat in front of the fire. “I’m sorry.”
“Please don’t do that again.” She hated the pleading look in his eyes. “I can’t feel Melissa and Jeremy. I can’t lose you, too.”
“I won’t do it again. I promise.
“What happened?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“It’s Peter, isn’t it?”
She exhaled. “I can’t talk about it with you. You’re going through so much.”
“We all are. Don’t stay so locked up inside. I know you need to talk. Please.” He grabbed her hand.
She knew the covens were there for each other, but how could she possibly talk about it when Lance missed Melissa?
“Ava,” he urged.
“He…has feelings for someone else.” The words burned in the back of her throat.
“What? Who?” His face twisted in shock.
She lifted a shoulder.
“He didn’t tell you anything?”
“I’m sure he wanted to, but I made him leave. He said that because I stayed in my room and away from everyone, he started liking someone else. And that we hadn’t been on the same page for months. I know we’ve had our differences, but I didn’t think he was falling out of love with me.”
“That’s ridiculous. How could he? We’re all grieving. Now’s the time we need someone the most.”
“I can’t talk to him right now. All I keep thinking is that it isn’t really happening. I mean, I risked everything for him. I made you all believe that we were in love. That he loved me. How could he just—.” The lump in her throat stopped her. She trembled as nausea settled in her stomach.
Lance drew her closer, and she buried her face into his chest and wept.
“How could he protect me through all the pain I felt from Thomas or anything else, and yet, he caused the most pain of all? How could he look me in the eye and tell me he loved me? And all that guilt he felt? It wasn’t only because of Seth and what happened on that field. He was ashamed because he was with some other girl. Because he was betraying me. It’s my fault. If I’d listened to him and not have been so stubborn. If I’d listened to everyone, none of this would have happened.” The sobs overcame her.
“Stop, Ava. Don’t even think that. You know it’s not true.” He held her tighter and rested his head on hers. “Let it out. I can’t tell you how awful it is to see you like this. Especially now. That was a very selfish move on his part. Don’t be so hard on yourself. You didn’t know he’d do this. None of us did. I know he loved you. I saw it in his eyes.”
“I don’t understand. After everything I did. After everything he said. He said we’d be together forever. That he’d love me forever. I never knew that forever was such a short time. He made me believe him. He lied. And now he’s in love with someone else.” Her voice shook. “I’ve never felt so weak before.” She took a deep breath and wiped her tears. “I shouldn’t be crying on your shoulder. It should be the opposite.”
“We can cry together.” He gave a pained smile.
“Even in my darkest moments, Thomas was there for me. But Peter just…abandoned me.”
“I’m so sorry, Ava.”
“Me too.”
Lance nudged her after a while. “We should probably get going.”
“Where?”
He waited. “To the Manor.”
Her shoulders slumped. “Do we have to go? I don’t want to see him.”
“I know it’s going to be hard. I won’t let him near you. I won’t let him hurt you again. Just concentrate on your strength and practicing.”
Ava nodded. “Thank you so much.”
“You don’t have to thank me. You know I’d do anything for you.”
“And I would for you.”
When they arrived at the Manor, they made their way down the hall toward the conservatory. She slowed to a stop.
“You okay?”
She gripped his hand. “I’ll be fine. If anyone asks, I’ll smile and tell them I’m fine.”
“You g
ot this.”
She nodded once and then took a step forward.
“Ava!” She jumped when she heard Gillian shriek. Ava turned around and saw her sprinting down the hall toward her. “I’m so glad you’re safe.” She flung her arms around Ava, pulling her into a tight embrace. “What happened? I got scared when I couldn’t feel you.”
Ava couldn’t help but feel a little awkward. Even though she had checked on Gillian when she was sick, she didn’t think they were friends again. “I’m okay.”
Gillian’s chin trembled and tears rolled down her cheeks. “I’m so sorry I’ve been terrible to you. None of that stupid drama matters now. As long as I know you’re okay.”
Somehow, Ava found herself comforting Gillian, but she was glad Gillian wasn’t angry with her anymore. She didn’t want to tell her what happened for fear she’d get angrier with Peter. As Ava rubbed Gillian’s back, she saw Thomas and Natalia walking toward them.
“Thank god you’re okay,” he told her. “You had me so worried.” He had trimmed his strawberry blonde hair just above the rim of his dark blue sweater. His pastel blue eyes held a sympathetic look. “What happened?”
Natalia glared at Ava and she pressed her thin lips together. “You gave us quite a scare the other night. I hope you’re satisfied with your little shenanigan.”
“That’s a little harsh,” Lance said.
She stared at him, challenging him. “Removing your necklace is one of the worst things she could have done. Especially now.” Her eyes switched to Ava. “Haven’t you done that before?”
“I’m sorry, Natalia. It won’t happen again.”
“Aaron and Savina want to see you in the parlor,” she said, brushing past Ava.
It was like getting called to the principal’s office, except worse. Gillian finally pulled back and wiped her tears. “I’ll come with you.”
“Are you going to be okay?” Lance asked.
Ava faked a smile. “I’ll be fine.” She twisted around and with Gillian by her side, they made their way toward Savina’s parlor.
“What happened, Ava?” Sadness and worry tugged at the corners of Gillian’s eyes and left bags underneath them.
Under the Winter Sun (Elemental Enchanters Series Book 3) Page 12
