Ava wasn’t ready to trust her yet, and couldn’t get over the complete 360 she just did. “Let’s go see Savina, first.”
Ava forced her mind clear of all thoughts. She tried to relax, like Gabriel always suggested. They walked into the dim parlor with the L-shaped red couch and matching red chairs by the arched window. The marble fireplace was alive with a warm fire. Savina strode in with Aaron from a dark room adjacent to the parlor. It was almost as if they just appeared in the room. Ava braced herself for the strict words, but Savina and Aaron looked relieved. Then they hugged her.
“Gillian, why don’t we give them some time alone?” Aaron suggested.
She hesitated, but left with him. Savina lowered herself in the tall backed chair and placed her hands on the arms of the chair. Ava settled on the couch, clutching her hands together. Crystal vases held white chrysanthemums on the little black oval table in front of her. She stared at the flowers until they became a blurred image. She broke the rules, yet again. Everyone probably thought she had died. She regretted her actions.
“Ava, you can trust me with anything. I assure you.”
She jerked her head toward Savina. “I know.”
“What has troubled you? There is a deep pain within you, different than your grief. I understand that you may not want to discuss it with me, but I am concerned since you removed your necklace. You recently had quite a scare with your father, and I do wish you understood the importance of our amulets.”
Her cheeks warmed. “I’m sorry. It’s nothing important,” she said, trying to keep her voice unemotional.
“You don’t always have to be so proud.”
“Peter likes someone else,” she said. She still didn’t want to admit they’d broken up. It meant it was final. And she still held onto a small glimmer of hope.
Savina frowned, and Ava went back to staring at the chrysanthemums. She hated pity. It made her feel feeble.
“I am so sorry. And you are not weak. I have seen you endure so much, and I’ve seen how you pull through. Love can be fickle unfortunately. It changes people. Perhaps there was something else in the cosmic forces that brought you two together. I do know what it is like to lose someone you love.”
Ava knew she meant George. He was Savina’s first love, and he loved her no matter that she was an Enchanter. She watched Corbin kill him. But Peter didn’t die. He chose another girl’s company to hers. After he told her how much he loved her and that he couldn’t live without her. What a liar.
“I lost my father. It still pains me to see the path he has chosen. To see the hate inside him. To know he will no longer be the father I once loved.”
Ava hadn’t thought of that. She didn’t know what she would do if her father had done that. She could only imagine Savina’s agony, which made hers seem so insignificant. So a boy broke up with her. It wasn’t the end of the world. Havok killing all the Ephemerals and anyone who stood in his way was.
“I know you are hurting, and you probably are feeling a little hatred. But try not to become enemies with Peter. I wish I could heal you, but unfortunately, I cannot. Just promise me you will talk to someone and not bottle it inside.”
“I promise. I want to know what I did.”
“There is only one person who knows the answer to that.”
“I’m not talking to him. I can handle this. I’ll be fine,” she said, hoping her voice sounded strong. “Do you know when we’ll leave for Caprington?”
“When everyone is back to their full health, then we leave. I know you may think you are ready, but none of us are. It is a completely different world out there. Please do not be impatient. I want to leave and get them back as much as you do. But we must be prepared. Havok has more Enchanters than I could have imagined.”
“Do we have a plan?”
“We will. You Elementals are the key to taking Havok down. We may have to split you up.”
Ava drew a shaky breath. “What? No. We can’t do that. It’s hard enough without Melissa and Jeremy. I can’t be away from anyone else.”
“I understand your concern, but Havok wants all of you. If we split up into two groups, we can ambush him. This is not concrete, so do not fret.”
“Do you think they’re okay? Tell me honestly.”
Savina locked eyes with Ava. “Yes. Havok would not hurt them. I know they are all alive.”
“How?”
“I know Havok. And I know what he wants.”
Ava nodded.
“Let’s go train. It will distract you.” Savina smiled and stood.
Ava doubted her, but followed. When they reached the doors to the field, Ava paused. She could do this. She would be fine.
Savina opened the door, and the bitter cold blasted Ava. The empty trees gave no protection from the brisk wind. She warmed herself, grateful that she could. Savina squeezed her hand before joining Aaron and Gustav.
Ava glanced around and saw Peter, but then she looked away.
“Ava,” Gabriel said as he made his way toward her. The sad look in his eyes made her heart sink. She had been careless. She hated that she hurt her friends. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.” She faked a smile.
“What happened?”
She watched Gillian practice with Anastasya. A dark cloud hovered over Gillian and Anastasya. The building wind tousled Gillian’s hair all around her face, but she stood her ground. Then, the cloud and wind disappeared, and Anastasya fell to her knees. With a smirk, Gillian crossed her arms.
“Nothing,” Ava finally said. “Are you ready to train?”
His eyes flicked with hurt and for a brief moment his face fell. She couldn’t stop hurting him. But she didn’t want to talk about Peter. He stepped aside, letting her go before him. “We should work on summoning water today,” he said, his voice all business. “And then we can work on…”
A flash of blue hair caught her eye and then she saw Peter. He and Katarina were training together and laughing. She missed his laugh. Her stomach twisted.
“Ava!” Gabriel yelled.
She snapped her head toward him. “Sorry.”
“Are you listening?”
“Yeah,” she lied.
“Okay, let’s get started then.”
“Okay.” But she glanced to her left again and gasped. Peter smiled as he touched the tip of Katarina’s nose with his finger. The blue haired girl giggled. Water trickled down Ava’s arms as she clenched her teeth. Her breathing accelerated. She wanted to hurt them. She raised her hand, but a force as unyielding as a wrecking ball pummeled her to the ground.
“Pay attention,” Gabriel demanded, standing up. “What is wrong with you? Why are you trying to attack them? You’re supposed to block me, but you’re distracted.”
She met his eyes, pleading, but shook the feeling away. She could do this. She could ignore Peter. Gabriel helped her to her feet and walked back to his starting point.
“Your turn,” he hedged.
Ava felt as if she lost her strength again. Even the anger wasn’t strong enough to make her move. She felt empty, like part of her had died. She turned her head again in Peter’s direction and she watched Katarina touch his face. He smiled, showing his dimples. A sharp pain stabbed her chest. Her body trembled and she grabbed her stomach, forcing the nausea away. Her necklace grew warm. She had to block her emotions before anyone wondered what was wrong.
“I can’t do this,” she whispered as she met Gabriel’s eyes.
“What are you—.”
“I’m sorry.” She turned and fled inside the Manor. Through the conservatory and through the hallway to the front door. They may be able to feel her emotions, but they wouldn’t see her cry like a weak, pathetic girl. As she reached the doorknob, a hand grabbed her shoulder.
“What did he do?” Gabriel whispered.
She didn’t turn around. “Please let me go.” She clenched her teeth, keeping the tears at bay.
Mumbled voices echoed from the conservatory, signaling break
time. Ava had to get out of there. She opened the door.
“Ava!” She heard Peter call. Hearing him say her name only brought more anguish. She knew he wasn’t calling her name to apologize. Or that he’d made a mistake and needed her. He wasn’t calling her name to confess his love. She knew he felt her anger and hurt, no matter how hard she tried to hide it. But the instant he said her name, her feelings tore through her mask. The pain, the sorrow, the insecurities. Everyone could feel it all. “Ava, please wait.” He thudded down the hallway to them.
“I think you’ve done enough harm,” Gabriel warned him.
“I need to talk to her.”
“No,” he insisted.
With that, Ava walked through the door. She passed the beautiful garden and picked up her pace through the darkening woods. Her necklace warmed as she lost the battle with her tears. It was ridiculous to waste such time on feeling sorry for herself. Peter was over her. She couldn’t skip practice anymore because of him. She had to get a grip and come to terms with what happened. Ava could feel the hate building within her but wasn’t sure whom she hated most: herself for believing such idiocies from Peter or Peter himself.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
ELASTIC HEART
The sound of roaring water amplified as Ava neared the waterfall. Inhaling the fresh scent of water, she slowed her pace. She watched the water plunge over the rocks, spraying her in a cool mist. The trees bent to a slight angle from the harsh wind.
Focus, she thought to herself. Try to lift the water.
Shutting her eyes, she willed the water to lift, but nothing happened.
After a few minutes, frustration filled her as she climbed over the rocks and looked below at the pool. Deep and dark, it led to the unknown. She wondered what it would be like to be swept away by the current. Let the water lead her wherever it may. Let it control her, instead of the opposite. She brought her feet closer to the edge, and dove into the pool under the waterfall.
Ava pulled herself farther under and inhaled. Finally, air entered her lungs. She could breathe underwater again. It gave her peace and strengthened her. Taking a deep breath, she watched fish scurry around the white bubbles under the falls. Lying on her back at the bottom of the deep pool, she looked up at the distorted dark water. At this depth everything was black. She closed her eyes and listened to the muffled thunderous falling water.
Three days wasted. Crying for someone who didn’t love her. Who knows how long ago he had stopped? Deep down inside Ava was relieved. At least now she could grieve and not feel ashamed. She wished she could be more like Melissa. Determined and fierce.
Something jumped into the water, and she opened her eyes, ready for an attack. Hands grabbed her waist. She struggled with the man, kicking him hard. He released her and she darted toward the surface. When Ava made it to the rocks, she hoisted herself out of the water.
“Ava!”
She halted and turned around. “Gabriel?”
“I came to check on you,” he shouted over the waterfall as he treaded water.
“What were you doing? I could’ve killed you!”
“I was trying to get you out of the water. I didn’t know what you were doing.”
Ava sighed. “I wanted to be underwater. I’m sorry. I couldn’t be back there. I’m done wallowing—.”
“It’s okay. Really.” He climbed out of the water, his white shirt clinging to his muscular chest.
Ava bit her lip and shivered, though not from the wind. “Sorry for kicking you.”
“It’s okay. You definitely know how to defend yourself in an attack.” Rubbing his arm, he sat down on a rock and she dropped down next to him. Water soaked his black hair and trickled down his pale face. “So you were able to breathe underwater?”
She nodded, clutching her stomach.
“That’s great.” He nudged her.
“Thanks.”
They sat in silence, listening to the pounding waterfall. Ava liked how she didn’t feel pressured into talking with Gabriel. It was a comfortable silence. He gave her space but still allowed her to use him if she needed. Her thoughts returned to Peter smiling with Katarina. She couldn’t understand it. She buried her face in her hands to hide the tears. Why couldn’t she stop crying? Why couldn’t she forget Peter as easily as he had her?
“I’m sorry.” He rubbed her back.
She wiped her tears, which was a futile attempt since they didn’t stop. “No, I’m sorry for running away like that.”
Gabriel closed the small distance between them. He drew her to him, holding her as she wept. They stayed like that for a while.
“Oh, no,” he said.
“What?” She lifted her head from his shoulder and squinted from the bright sun. She clutched Gabriel. Where were they? They sat on a rock inches from a tall cliff. Nothing but an ocean lay out beyond the majestic cliff.
“Wh-what happened? Where are we?” She stood with caution and he followed.
“It would appear to be the cliffs of Dover.” He almost sounded embarrassed.
She gave a sideways glance, but he stared straight ahead.
“How did we get here?” She loosened her grip on him and looked around more. A sheet of white covered the sides of the cliff, and the grass on top was the greenest she’d ever seen. The air was crisp, and the sky was a stunning blue. She didn’t know what it was about the atmosphere, but it felt hopeful. Together, they stared out at the Strait of Dover under the winter sun.
Gabriel cleared his throat. “I must have teleported us.”
“This is amazing.” The strong steady wind blew through her hair, drying it. “Do you come here often?”
He seemed hesitant to answer. “Yes.”
“You didn’t mean to bring me here, did you?”
He didn’t answer right away. “It’s someplace nice to go to when I need to.”
“I’m sorry. I don’t want to interfere with that.”
“No, it’s okay. I don’t mind sharing.”
Ava watched him dubiously, but he continued peering out into the water. On the horizon, she could see the shoreline buildings in France. She couldn’t believe one second they were at the waterfall with such a gloomy sky and the next second they stood under a brilliant blue sky at the cliffs of Dover feeling the warmth of the sun. Ava missed the sun. It hadn’t appeared at home in weeks and Ava knew it didn’t look like a very forgiving winter for them.
“This is so exhilarating.” She took a step toward the edge of the cliff and looked down at the quiet and empty narrow beach. The water smoothed over the pebbles and took some with it. Behind them the flat top of the cliffs stretched for miles.
“I wish I could do this. Travel all the time.”
“I used to, but now I only go to a few places,” he said, more relaxed.
“Can’t you teleport us to Caprington?”
“It’s too dangerous. Besides, no one knows where it is. Except the Elders.”
“Why won’t they tell us?”
“Savina doesn’t want any of us going there without the whole group. Because she knows people like you would probably go there by yourself to try and defeat him.”
“And you wouldn’t?”
He smirked. “People like you and me.”
“Weren’t you with them when they killed Corbin?”
“No. Only the Elders went.”
“He knows where we are, and we just stay here. Seems like a huge setup for him to attack again. Why aren’t we leaving to find a new place to hide?”
“Havok won’t attack us again. He’s waiting for us to come to him. And I bet he’s got Cimmerians hiding out along the way to Caprington to kill the majority of us and take the Elementals. That’s why we must make sure we’re all prepared for this. If we dart out there as soon as we’re healed, he will take us quickly.”
“I know. I worry about the torture. He already got inside our heads. What if he tries again when we leave?” Ava couldn’t handle that again.
“We have…
the protectors,” he said, obviously trying to avoid saying Peter’s name. “I know you’re in a lot of pain right now, but when we leave, you have to try and hide it from them. They will use that to their advantage. Like Trudy did.”
Ava shuddered. While Drew and Jonah pointed a gun at Ava’s head, Trudy McVaine had been hiding somewhere and made her have a vision about her mother. She lost control, and Drew and Jonah had taken her into the woods. Then she had killed them.
She felt Gabriel’s warm hand slide into hers. A lone tear rolled down her cheek. “How do you do it? How do you hide your feelings so well? I thought I was doing good, but instead I pushed everyone away. It got to be too much. I couldn’t hold it in any longer. That’s why I took off my necklace. I didn’t want to put everyone through that. But I also never meant to hurt anyone.”
“You shouldn’t have bottled it up. I knew you would. Hiding your emotions is different than keeping it inside. You turn it off. It takes practice, but if I were feeling the pain you are it would be hard to turn it off. When they took Joss, Maggie, and Kira, you never felt my sadness, did you?”
Ava shook her head. “I never feel anything from you.”
For a second, his eyes seemed apologetic. “Not everyone does. I kept myself busy. I read. I took walks. I did anything I could to keep myself from falling into that misery. It wasn’t easy.”
“Just when I thought I had a handle on that misery, something else knocks me down.”
“The challenges of life unfortunately. But you’re tough, physically and emotionally.”
“Sometimes I don’t feel like it. I mean, I completely bolted from the Manor. How pathetic?”
He shook his head. “Stop being so hard on yourself. It’s okay to let it out, but it’s what you do with that pain that matters.”
He was right. She needed to stop being stubborn. She needed to work through it instead of wallowing or running from it. She had to stop acting like a child and face reality.
They continued staring out into the ocean, the sun’s light glittering on top. She couldn’t get enough of the warm sun and the peaceful atmosphere. No wonder Gabriel often visited. He always seemed to know what she needed, even if he wasn’t aware of it.
Under the Winter Sun (Elemental Enchanters Series Book 3) Page 13
