After the Ashes

by Howe, Cheryl

  Douglas stopped, then stepped in front of her, blocking her path. “Hold on a second. I didn’t say for sure. I just said I needed to sort things out.” He took off his hat and brushed back his thick hair before replacing it. “I can’t help my suspicions. I see only the worst in people. Forgive me?”

  His unexpected request stirred the cauldron of guilt roiling in her stomach. She sidestepped him and continued down the street, fearing he’d read her expression too clearly.

  “There’s nothing to forgive.”

  He fell in beside her. “Make sure you tell Braddock that.”

  She couldn’t help but grin at the tone of his voice. “You’re afraid of him, aren’t you?”

  “He already told me that if I did anything to upset you, he’s going to beat me. I know him. He’ll keep his promise the minute he’s on his feet.”

  She followed Douglas in a daze. His words should thrill her, but Christopher didn’t know the truth yet. Would he hate her once he learned that her blind loyalty to her brother had almost cost him his life?

  Douglas tightened his grip on her arm. “Lorelei, you’d better snap out of it before I take you to Braddock, or I’m going to get that beating.”

  She nodded but would have tripped on the clapboard house’s first planked step if Douglas hadn’t been there to guide her.

  The marshal pushed open the door and practically shoved her through the front room and into the one bedroom.

  Christopher sat up in bed. His eyes were red rimmed and puffy. His hair stood at awkward angles and his pallor rivaled the white walls, but he was alive and awake. To Lorelei, he’d never looked better.

  “Christopher.” She forgot all the things that would keep them apart and rushed to his side. His recovery was miracle enough. If she had to choose, she’d gladly choose Christopher’s health over her happily ever after.

  Ignoring the chair, she nestled beside him on the bed. She gently placed her hands on his bare shoulders and leaned forward to kiss his cheek.

  His arm snaked around her waist, pulling her forward as he turned his head to capture her mouth.

  She braced her hands on his shoulders to keep him from crushing her against him. “Your wound.”

  “Yes, I was about to mention that,” said Dr. Gavin from behind her.

  She glanced over her shoulder, then delicately tried to free herself from Christopher’s hold, but he restrained her with surprising strength.

  “The doctor was just leaving.”

  Dr. Gavin buckled his leather medical bag. “I’ll leave it to Miss Sullivan to remind our patient that he hasn’t yet fully recovered. Mr. Braddock seems to think he’s stubbed his toe rather than survived a wound that would have been fatal to another man.”

  She angled herself so that she sat next to Christopher instead of sprawled on top of him.

  “I’ll make sure to remind him if he forgets again, Dr. Gavin. Thank you for all you’ve done.”

  As soon as the doctor left the room, Christopher hauled her back into his arms. “Are you all right?”

  She tried to resist, but he was stronger than she thought. Fighting him might cause more strain than letting him have his way. Avoiding his wound as best she could, she pressed against him as he dipped his head for a deep, wet kiss. The pain of almost losing him burst in her chest like a flowering ball of fire, and tears unexpectedly stung her eyes.

  He finally broke the kiss but held her face in his hands. “I’ve been worried. Tell me what happened. Are you all right?”

  She gripped his wrists. “I’m fine. You’re the one who was almost killed.”

  The tightness around his eyes eased, and he grinned. “I was, wasn’t I? I’m just like everybody else.”

  His rude reminder forced her to pull out of his grasp. What she had to tell him would be hard enough without pretending they could actually have a future together. “You’re not like everybody else, and you wouldn’t have been hurt if it weren’t for me.”

  “Did Douglas tell you that?” The fierce man who had first come to her door, pistol in hand, returned in his scowl.

  “He didn’t have to. It’s true.” She clasped his hand to keep from touching his face.

  She swallowed the thick emotion that coated her throat. Letting him go was the right thing, no matter how much it hurt. His earnest hazel eyes showed he’d finally defeated his ghosts. He’d seen Jay’s happiness, and even learned to love again.

  Unfortunately, her past continued to haunt her. In fact, one of her demons was on his way back to Arriba in handcuffs. She would be involved in the trial of the year rather than the wedding of the year. Christopher was healed. Now that he could, he’d find another woman to love.

  When she returned her gaze to his, he studied her as if he had read each of her desperate thoughts. “You're going to still marry me. I don’t care what Douglas said—”

  “Not Douglas.” She dropped her eyes, unable to look at him while she told him why they couldn’t marry. “My brother.”

  “Lorelei, no.” The note of desperation in his voice jolted her gaze back to his. He’d laid his head back on the pillow as if he were too weak to fight any longer. “Don’t let him do this to us.”

  She couldn’t stand the defeated pull on his eyes. He was hurting. The fact that he really did love her gave her no joy.

  “He had the gold, Christopher. He had it the whole time. He had it when you came to the ranch the first time, when we were at Jay’s, even when he sent you to Specter Canyon.”

  He rubbed his forehead. “Damn. I didn’t want you to find out.”

  “You knew?” She blinked back her shock. “How long have you known?”

  “Since the first time I rode to Specter Canyon.”

  Lorelei studied his serious gaze. “I don’t understand. Why didn’t you tell me?”

  He clasped her right hand in his. The contrasts in their skin and size seemed to hold his attention. “I…”

  His uncharacteristic hesitation caused dread to surge into her throat. She placed her other hand on top of his, stopping the glide of his thumb across her skin. “Please, Christopher. Just tell me.”

  “I was afraid you’d get yourself in more trouble trying to protect him. I didn’t want to lose you.”

  She couldn’t continue to meet his sincere gaze because she couldn’t deny his words. “And in trying to protect Corey, I almost got you killed.”

  She pulled away from his grasp and stood on shaky legs. In all the bad things that happened in her life, there had been one common theme: Lorelei Sullivan. She was the cause of all her own troubles. She had believed Corey’s elaborate fabrications because she wanted to.

  Her gaze fell to the hollows under Christopher’s cheeks, then slid to the white bandage wound around his chest. His tanned skin had started to fade and his collarbone stood out in strong relief. He’d lost weight, but he’d recover. Especially if he no longer had her to drag him down.

  “Lorelei, if you don’t want me to get out of this bed, you’d better sit down and talk to me.”

  She fumbled for a chair and forced herself to sink into it. “I can’t marry you, Christopher. There’s going to be a trial, and Corey—”

  “We’re going to marry.”

  She shook her head. “I told Wade Langston about the gold and Corey.”

  Even under his week-old beard, his jaw perceptively tightened, a sure sign he was furious. “Why did you do a fool thing like that?”

  She stiffened. Expecting his censure didn’t ease its sting. “I’m tired of hiding from the truth. I’m ready to accept the consequences, whatever they may be.”

  He raked his hand through his sleep-spiked hair. “I could have kept him out of trouble. With Corey’s help I could pretend to track down the gold and everyone would have been happy.”

  “Except Corey. And Wade Langston. I traded your confession for the information about Corey.”

  Christopher stared at her blankly, his eyebrows drawn in confusion. After a moment he laid back aga
inst the pillows, apparently waylaid by the return of his memory. “I forgot about that. I had to do something to get Langston to look for you.”

  A grin tugged at her tight features, though how she could smile she didn’t know. “I imagined I was the reason you confessed to something you didn’t do.”

  “Is that why you sold your brother out—to save me?”

  “I wish you wouldn’t put it like that, but yes. I love you. I couldn’t bear for you to be hurt any more by my mistakes.”

  He grinned, and his teeth shone a healthy white against his dark beard, challenging the shadow of illness that clung to his skin. “I always thought you’d choose him over me.”

  “Well, I didn’t. And now I have to live with it.”

  His obvious pleasure at her devotion cast a flicker of hope in her tight chest, but remembering what that happiness would cost her brother quickly snuffed it out.

  He covered her hand with his. “We’ll live with it.”

  “There will be a trial. Even though I turned him in, I’m going to see Corey through it.”

  “We’ll see it through together.” He squeezed her hand. “I get it now, Lorelei. I understand how Jay could pick himself up again and why he works himself to death on a patch of desert. Well, maybe I don’t exactly understand that, but I do know what makes all the sweat and tears worth it. Marry me. I can face anything if I know it’s with you.”

  She couldn’t stop the tears that formed in her eyes. “I do love you. But what about Corey?”

  Christopher sighed. “He’s going to jail, sweetheart.”

  She looked into Christopher’s sincere face and saw what could be her future. A future that still existed no matter how much life had thrown their way. It was as eternal as the sun, as reliable as the moon. She was still breathing. She was still able to love and take love’s hand when it reached out to her. For once she let fortune smile on her and let the pieces fall where they might. She squared her shoulders.

  “All right.”

  EPILOGUE

  The carriage’s roll to a stop reignited Lorelei’s doubts. Though she’d written Corey daily, she hadn’t received word from her brother since his arrival at New Mexico’s territorial prison.

  Christopher tightened his grip on her hand. “We’re here.” Her jerky nod tugged at the pins securing her new hat. The silk concoction had been dyed to match her mother’s gown, but the excessive use of Spanish lace seemed inappropriate when she tried them on together. Her new expensive hat and her mother’s old dress seemed to clash despite her efforts to piece them together. Even with alterations, Lorelei’s mother’s wedding gown didn’t fit as well as she’d hoped. Part of her felt like she didn’t have a right to wear the heirloom. After all, she’d betrayed her family. Would her mother have forgiven her? Would Corey?

  Christopher lifted the veil and leaned forward to press a hard kiss on her mouth. “You’d better not have changed your mind about becoming my wife. Again.”

  She touched his face. “I haven’t changed my mind. I just hope Corey isn’t upset with our surprise.”

  “You know how I feel about your brother, Lorelei, but I do believe he wants your happiness.”

  She stared down at her gloved hands. “I wonder if he’s forgiven me.”

  Christopher stepped out of the carriage, only, slightly favoring his good side, and held his hand up to her. “One way to find out.”

  The prison, which looked more like a fort, immediately captured her attention. Logs honed into wicked-looking spikes stabbed the clear blue sky. Not even the tip of a chimney could be viewed past the sturdy fence.

  Christopher placed a comforting hand on the small of her back and nudged Lorelei forward. “I’m told it’s not as bad as it looks.”

  She tried to shake off the guilt that pressed on her shoulders and made it even more painful to walk in her new high heeled slippers. Thanks to both Douglas’s and Christopher’s testimony, Corey had escaped hanging, she reminded herself.

  The big wooden gates slowly creaked open at the force of two burly guards, and Christopher guided her into the prison’s stark interior. Not even cactus dotted the yard. The compound consisted of dirt, tall fences, and a long adobe structure with tiny slits high in the walls that served as windows.

  She remembered the look on Corey’s face when his sentence was read. His relief at escaping death was short lived. Ten years must have seemed like a lifetime when he came face to face with his new home. Even the fact that five years could be sliced off his sentence for good behavior was probably little comfort.

  She turned to escape the fence’s oppressive arms, but Christopher blocked her exit.

  “You’re not going anywhere.”

  “This is a mistake.”

  Something over her shoulder caught Christopher’s attention. He lifted his hand and waved. “How you doing, Wade? Come over here and assure Lorelei you’re not keeping her brother in a dungeon.”

  Wade Langston strode toward them wearing a dark blue uniform. When he reached them, he nodded to her first. “Miss Lorelei.” He turned to Christopher and grasped his hand in a firm shake. “Chris.”

  Lorelei’s gaze darted between the two men. She wondered when they'd switched to using each other’s first names, and, even more surprising, with such warm regard in their voices. Of course, she hadn’t seen Wade since the fateful day she’d traded her brother for Christopher’s confession, except on the witness stand. She’d heard Wade called a hero for recovering the gold. Still, she owed him a debt of thanks for all the things he didn’t do or say.

  “I never had the chance to thank you, Miss Lorelei.”

  She studied the trampled dirt. “Please don’t. I can’t say I’m proud of turning my brother in.”

  “No, not for that. For having faith in me.”

  She gazed up at him. “Well, thank you for bringing Corey back in one piece.”

  He grinned. “Glad to do it. Your brother is one fine horseman.”

  Lorelei couldn’t return his smile. “Yes, he was. If he’d just stuck with what he knew, he’d never have gotten in so much trouble.”

  Christopher wrapped his arm around her shoulders. “We’d better show her, Wade. A bride isn’t supposed to look so miserable on her wedding day.”

  “I think we can put a smile on that face. This way.” Instead of heading toward the iron bars that fronted the adobe’s entrance, he skirted the side of the building. Christopher gently prodded her along as they followed Wade’s lead.

  “It’s going to be all right. I wouldn’t have brought you here if I thought your brother was suffering.”

  Wade led them past a large stable. She could hear the whinnies of a barn-full of horses. Before she could ask why the prison had so many, the corral came into view. There in the middle, working with a skittish horse, was Corey.

  As they came closer, she could see her brother held a coiled rope in his hand. Horse and man were on a standoff. Corey remained completely still while the horse bobbed his head up and down. Slowly Corey stretched out his hand and the horse sniffed him, then turned and ran to the other side of the corral.

  “You’ll have that one saddled by tomorrow,” yelled Wade.

  Corey turned, a huge grin splitting his face. “The end of the day, I’d wager.”

  When Lorelei caught her brother’s eye, the grin slid away.

  “You have other plans today, Mr. Sullivan,” said Wade.

  Corey warily held Lorelei’s gaze, but didn’t make any attempt to approach them. When she glanced to Christopher for support, she found both he and Wade had discreetly abandoned her.

  Before the trial she’d been under strict orders not to discuss anything pertaining to the case with Corey. She couldn’t even ask him why he took off, nor explain why she’d turned him in. But she’d told him that she loved him, and his silent response broke her heart. After the trial he’d been immediately shipped off to the territorial prison. She’d have come sooner, but Christopher had talked her into giving him a
couple of weeks to adjust. He’d convinced her that her presence might only make things worse.

  She gripped the corral railing that restrained her from going to her brother. He had to come to her.

  He slapped the end of the rope he held against his leg, staring at the dust. Finally he strode toward her. He stopped short of the fence, seeming to use the space as a barrier.

  “Why are you here?” He kept his attention on the rope he twirled between his fingers.

  “I wanted to see if you were all right and…” She let her words drift off. What would she do if he refused her request? Christopher had been so patient. Though being married in a prison was probably not his first choice, he didn’t raise the slightest protest when she’d suggested it.

  Corey glanced at her from the corners of his eyes. “You don’t hate me?”

  “No. You should hate me. I’m the one who turned you in.”

  He shrugged. “I figured you would. I just was hoping I’d be in Mexico by then. I don’t suppose they let you keep any of the gold I left you.”

  “I gave it all back. You must have been pretty upset with me when Wade caught up with you.”

  “No. I didn’t really want to go to Mexico.”

  Corey fashioned the rope into a lasso and danced it around his feet. He let the swirling loop go limp, then dropped it to the ground. “I couldn’t stand not ever seeing you again, even if you probably wished I weren’t your brother.”

  She pressed herself against the fence. “I never wished that. I hated turning you in but I had to. Wade had Christopher’s confession, and besides, someone would have caught up with you eventually. I didn’t want you to get hurt.”

  He took a step toward her. “You don’t have to explain yourself to me. You were just doing what was right.”

  He dropped his gaze again. “I didn’t want to run.” He shrugged. “I guess I thought you’d be better off without me. Figured Braddock would tell you how rotten I was once he woke up.”

  “You’re my brother. I love you. I don’t like some of the things you’ve done, Corey O’Sullivan, but you’re family. And you know how the Sullivans feel about family.”