White River Brides

by Frances Devine

  She urged her horse forward, and the buggy picked up speed. She had her wonderful family and a community full of old friends. Who needed Jim Castle anyway? She’d been happy before he came into her life, and she’d be happy again.

  Then why did she feel so torn inside? As though something had been ripped from her. Something that belonged.

  Chapter 21

  Brrrr.” Addy rubbed her hands together as she stepped inside after looking down the lane for Abby’s buggy. “I’m glad I don’t have to go anywhere today.”

  “No sign of Abby yet?” Ma sat by the fireplace in her rocker. She and Addy had measured Betty for her Christmas dress the night before and cut the green velvet fabric, but they were waiting for Abby to bring her patterns for the boys’ outfits.

  “No, but I’m sure she’ll be here any moment. She knows we need to get started.” Addy hoped having her sister there all day would distract her from the disturbing thoughts of Jim that continuously ran through her head.

  At the sound of horses and wagon wheels, she jumped up and ran to the door. Grabbing her shawl, she slipped out and shut the door behind her to keep out the cold. The wagon bumped up and down behind the running horses, snow flying beneath wheels and hooves. Her sister yanked on the reins at the barn doors.

  “Land sakes, Abby,” Addy yelled across the yard, her hands on her hips. “What are you trying to do? Have the baby before Christmas?”

  Abby laughed. “I’ll be in as soon as I take care of the horses.”

  Addy took off across the yard, reaching her sister just as she slid off the wagon seat. Addy grabbed the reins before her sister could and led the rig into the barn, handing the horses off to Pa.

  Clutching her shawl tightly around her shoulders, Addy stormed out of the barn. “Abby, you need to start being more careful.”

  “Oh sis, I’m fine, but you’re going to freeze, running out here without your coat.” But she took the steps to the porch slowly.

  Addy put her arm around Abby and opened the door. “Come on inside and sit down.”

  “Hi, Ma,” Abby almost sang as she stepped into the parlor. “Am I late?”

  “Not at all, dear.” She lifted her cheek for her daughter’s kiss and smiled. “You did remember to bring the patterns, didn’t you?”

  “Yes, ma’am.” She slipped them from her coat pocket. “I’ll lay them on the kitchen table for now.”

  “Tuck!” Betty ran in and grabbed Abby around the legs. “You’re here.”

  “I sure am, little Betsy Boo.” Abby patted the three-year-old on the head.”

  “Betty, you mustn’t grab Abby around her legs like that.” Ma frowned. “You might trip her and cause her to fall.”

  “I’m okay, Ma.” Abby reached down and gave Ma a kiss. “Is that coffee I smell?”

  Without waiting for an answer, she headed for the kitchen with Betty trailing behind.

  Addy followed. “I’ll help. Ma, do you want tea or coffee?” she called back over her shoulder.

  “Neither, dear.” Ma’s voice trailed after them. “If you girls need help cutting the suits out, call me. I want to start basting the top of Betty’s dress to the skirt.”

  Addy poured coffee for her and Abby while her sister laid the fabric out on the table. Last week Addy and Ma had carefully removed the stitches from the dresses and removed the sleeves and collars. Now she helped her sister pin a pattern to the soft velvet.

  Betty rubbed her hand over the fabric. “Pretty.”

  “Yes, it is pretty, sweetie. But you mustn’t touch now. Soon it will be full of sharp pins.”

  “Okay.” She perched on a stool behind the table.

  “I never used to like sewing,” Abby said. “But I just love making things for my little sugars.”

  Addy glanced at her twin, and a pang of envy shot through her. Quickly she pushed it away. She was happy for Abby, and even if she should never marry and have children of her own, she would not allow jealousy to raise its ugly head and come between her and her beloved sister. “Who wouldn’t love sewing for those two little darlings?” she said around the pins in her mouth.

  “Be careful, silly. You might swallow one of those things.” Abby frowned. “Use the pin cushion.”

  Addy removed the pins from her mouth and stuck them in one of the pincushions scattered around the table. “When did you get so bossy?” she asked.

  Abby grinned. “When I got married. You weren’t around to boss me, so I decided to try being the boss. Rafe didn’t take to it though.”

  “So I guess you’ll have to settle for bossing Davey and Dawson.”

  Abby shrugged. “Half the time they try to boss me. But I’m attempting to put a stop to that.”

  Betty giggled. “Davey and Dawson don’t boss you.”

  “No, but they would if I let them.” Abby flashed a grin at Betty.

  They finished pinning and cutting the tiny trousers.

  “I hope Rafe won’t think these look sissified,” Abby said, cocking her head with a frown.

  Addy laughed. “Sissified? They’re just babies.”

  “I know. I was teasing. But he’ll have them in boots before you know it. Just you wait and see.” Abby picked up her coffee mug and took a drink. “Cold already.” She poured it back in the pot and moved it to the hot part of the stove.

  “We probably need more wood in there,” Addy said. “We’ll need to start cooking pretty soon. It’s eleven o’clock.”

  “Pa’ll be hungry as a bear after splitting wood all morning. I’d have helped if he’d have let me.”

  “Oh, you were going to split wood in your condition,” Addy said. “That would have been a sight to behold.” She picked up one end of the fabric, being careful of the pins.

  “I thought Pa was hiring someone to help out around here,” Abby said, picking up the other end and helping Addy carry it into Addy’s bedroom.

  “Everyone’s been so busy on their own farms, he hasn’t been able to find anyone.”

  “I’ll tell Rafe to ask around. Pa isn’t getting any younger.”

  Addy laughed. “He’s not that old, silly. He can outwork a lot of younger men.”

  “I know. Still, it wouldn’t hurt for him to slow down a little.”

  Ma came into the kitchen and started preparing the noon meal. Soon the aroma of pork chops filled the entire house.

  After lunch, Pa went back to splitting wood, and Ma put Betty down for a nap.

  After Addy and Abby had cleaned the kitchen, Addy said, “We’d better get the fabric and take it into the parlor. We have a lot of sewing to do.”

  “Wait a minute, sis. Let’s step out on the porch where we can have some privacy. I need to talk to you about something.”

  “What is it? We need to get busy or we won’t get done.”

  “We don’t have to finish today.” Abby said. “I can work on finishing up the boys’ suits in my spare time. This is important. It’s about Jim.”

  On wooden feet, Addy followed her sister to the front porch. They’d grabbed their coats, but Addy still shivered. She stared at Abby. “If you’re going to tell me he’s leaving town, I already know.”

  “I know you do. But did you know he’s been riding all over Missouri for weeks trying to find work so that he won’t have to leave you?”

  Addy gasped. “What? What do you mean?”

  “Just what I said. Jim knows you won’t leave home, and he loves you so much he’s searched high and low for a job, but nothing turned up that paid enough to take care of a family. He even considered buying a farm, but the man can’t even milk a cow. He’d be broke before a year was out.”

  Jim loved her? That much? Confusion beat at her mind. But why didn’t he stay here in Branson and work for the Missouri Pacific?

  “But…Abby, why doesn’t he talk to his boss about staying here and working for the railroad? Surely they have something he can do in this area.”

  “What? Jim doesn’t work for the railroad, you silly thing. He has h
is own business.”

  Addy laughed. A sick sounding little half sob that wasn’t a laugh at all. “Of course he works for the railroad. He has business meetings with them all the time.”

  Abby shook her head. “That’s what I thought, too. But it’s not so. He’s some kind of consultant, and he helps people get their businesses in shape so they make more money or something. He’s been on a job, which included the White River Line and the Branson hotel and some other businesses. They pay him to do this, and when the job is over he goes somewhere else.”

  “But why didn’t he tell me?”

  Addy’s hand pressed her shoulder. “I guess he thought you knew.”

  “Then he was going to give up his business for me?”

  Abby shrugged. “Looks that way. Rafe told me Jim has turned down at least four or five offers since his job here ended in September. But he can’t wait any longer. And he’s about sick from having to leave you.”

  Addy closed her eyes against the tears that filled them. “Oh, Abby,” she whispered. “What have I done?”

  “The important thing is what are you going to do?”

  “But what can I do? He’s going to New York.”

  “Go with him. You love him, don’t you?”

  “Yes,” she said. “But you’re telling me to leave you, Abby.”

  Abby groaned. “Addy, you’ve been taking care of me all your life. Now it’s time to get one of your own.”

  “But…”

  “Listen, sis, I love you, and I know you love me, but you don’t need to take care of me. I have Rafe. And more important, I have God.” She stopped and bit her lip. “I don’t mean to sound mean, sis, but if Rafe were going to New York, I’d leave you in a minute.”

  “I never thought we’d be apart,” Addy said. “Ever since Ma died, then Pa’s accident, I felt like I needed to watch over you.”

  “I know. And I thought we’d both get married and live right next to each other and raise our babies together.”

  A cold, hard fist seemed to shove itself into Addy’s heart. “I don’t know if I can do it.”

  Abby took her hand. “The train comes right into Branson now. It’s not like we can’t visit each other.”

  “That’s true.” A little glimmer of hope sparked in Addy. “Do you think Jim still wants me to go with him?”

  Abby laughed. “I wish you could have heard him. Of course, if he’d known I was listening, he’d never have opened up to Rafe the way he did. Aren’t you glad I snooped?”

  How could she have been so stupid? She’d thought he was putting his job before her when all the time he was willing to sacrifice a career he loved for her. “I don’t know what to do.”

  “You’ll see him at the ball Friday night. Talk to him,” Addy said.

  Horror stemming from humiliation washed over her. “I can’t just go up to him and say, ‘I changed my mind. Take me with you.’ ”

  Abby laughed. “I would, if it were Rafe.”

  “I think your memory is a little faulty,” Addy said. “You thought Rafe wanted to marry Carrie Sue, and you almost had a conniption fit trying to decide what to do.”

  “Hmm. I guess you’re right. I’d forgotten about that.” Abby thought for a minute. “I guess you should just go and leave things in God’s hands.”

  Now why hadn’t she thought of that?

  Chapter 22

  Nostalgia engulfed Addy as she sat on her bed and sorted through a box of mementos. She took a deep breath and let it out with a ragged whoosh. Matching gold wands represented the fifth grade school play when she and Abby had played identical fairies. A sound halfway between a sob and a laugh erupted from her throat. She’d had to practically drag her sister to school that night.

  “Addy, you haven’t even started dressing for the ball.” Ma stood in the doorway. Her deep-blue dress deepened her eyes until they appeared almost as if one were gazing into a midnight sky. Her black hair, with only a few white strands at her temples, was arranged softly around her face with the back pulled up in a smooth chignon.

  “You’re so beautiful, Ma.” Addy whispered the words. No wonder Pa was still so much in love with her. Not that looks were everything. Ma was a wonderful woman, too. But Addy hadn’t realized just how physically beautiful Ma was until this moment.

  “Oh, you just think that because I’m your mother.” She smiled. “Come now. Get dressed or we’ll be late. I want to get your pa on the dance floor as early as possible so that he can’t use tiredness as an excuse.”

  Addy rose. “What should I do about Jim?” She’d shared with her mother what Abby had told her about him. But Ma hadn’t yet offered any advice.

  Ma brushed a lock of hair back from Addy’s face. “No one can tell you what to do. That’s your decision.”

  “But what do you think I should do?”

  “Are you in love with him?” Ma leaned back and looked closely at her face.

  “Yes. I love him so much I’ve been in agony for months.”

  “Well, there is your answer. Of course you must let him know that you’re willing to go with him.”

  How could Ma speak so emphatically? Like that was the only answer. What about leaving family? What about her job?

  “But Ma, I’ll be far away from here most of the time. Jim travels all over the country. Even to foreign lands sometimes.” At the words, her heart raced, and a jolt of excitement ran through her.

  Ma smiled. “You have a love of adventure in you, Addy. I’ve always known that.”

  Addy sobered. “Ma, if I go, I’ll be so lonely without you.”

  “Probably. In the beginning. But God will replace the loneliness with a brand-new life. And brand-new people. A husband. Children. New friends.”

  “How can you be so wise, Ma? You’ve hardly been out of Missouri.”

  Ma’s eyes sparkled. “I always wished I could go downriver on the Julia Dawn.”

  “You did? Really?”

  “I really did. And as happy as I was when your dad sold his boat and took up farming, I’d have gone to the ends of the earth with him, if he’d asked.”

  “Oh, Ma. What about Abby? How can I leave her?” She picked up the box she’d been going through. “Look. Every memory I have includes Abby. Sometimes it’s like we’re one person.”

  Little furrows appeared between Ma’s eyes. “You are a whole person, Addy. You don’t need your sister to make you whole. Only God can do that. And as for your memories, we all have them, sweetheart. Some good and some bad. But in order to follow God’s will for our lives, we must be willing to leave some things behind.”

  “I know. I know Jesus said that many times. But how do I know God wants me to go with Jim?” This was a question she’d asked herself for days. She knew it needed to be settled in her heart before she could make a decision.

  “God isn’t deliberately keeping you in the dark about His will for you,” Ma said. “The Bible says, ‘If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.’ ”

  As Ma spoke the familiar scripture verse, peace washed over Addy. “Thank you, Ma.”

  “You are welcome, daughter,” Ma said with a smile. “And now, I think you had better get ready. You know we have to drop Betty off at Rafe’s parents’ house on the way.”

  Jim leaned against the wall inside the Hawkins’ old barn. Red bows decorated fresh green boughs, and the pine and cedar gave a festive look as well as aroma.

  Jim scarcely noticed any of it. His eyes were on the wide, festooned double doors.

  Rafe and Abby had arrived a few minutes ago, decked out in finery. He’d started at the first sight of Abby. Dressed in a green satin gown, with her hair all fancied up, for a moment, he’d thought she was Addy, and his heart had almost stood still. Then she’d turned, and the oversized shawl couldn’t hide her growing stomach. Plus the movement and the expression on her face were all Abby. They’d said hello in passing and headed for the refreshme
nt table.

  The Packard brothers were tuning up their guitars, so Jim assumed the dancing would start any moment.

  “Hey, Jim,” Rafe said, coming to stand by him. “I need to talk to you before Addy gets here.”

  Coldness ran over Jim. What now? More bad news? Had she met someone?

  “I thought you should know that Addy thought all this time you worked for the Missouri Pacific.”

  “What?”

  “Tuck told her how you’d been job hunting because you didn’t want to leave her, and she wanted to know why you didn’t just keep a railroad job here in Branson.” Rafe grinned. “She asked why you needed to hunt for a job when you were already working for the railroad and all you needed to do was ask them to assign you to Branson. Or something like that. Anyway, Tuck told her about your business, and now she’s feeling bad about the way she treated you.”

  “Are you sure about this?”

  “Yes, she’s still pretty squirrely about not wanting to leave her family, especially Tuck. But she’s softening some.” He slapped Jim on the back. “Just thought you should know.”

  “Thanks, I appreciate it.”

  Rafe turned away, and just then, Jack and Lexie walked through the doors.

  Jim stood straight, his eyes glued on the entrance. He took a sharp breath as Addy stepped inside. Moonlight streamed in, bathing her in its glow. Her pale-blond hair cascaded in loose curls down the back of her deep-scarlet gown. A gold locket rested on her throat.

  She turned, and her eyes met his. They widened and shock filled them. As though in a daze, she turned and followed her parents across to the refreshment table.

  Shock hit Addy as her eyes rested on Jim. As though through a tunnel, his voice resounded in her head, telling her he’d loved her from the moment he saw her. As though looking through a kaleidoscope, she saw his tenderness toward her and the revelation that he loved her enough to give up a career he’d worked and fought for. Indescribable happiness pierced through her. Her legs trembled.