Papina (Bearville County)

by Katie Hamstead

  The whole way into Bearville, I thought about Nova and what she said. Maybe it was too soon to be involved with Paul. Maybe I was so desperate for human affection I confused my feelings.

  But I did know I needed to look out for Nova, and if she couldn't accept him into our lives, then I couldn't be with him. The very thought made me cry again. I felt as if my heart was being torn from my body, but she had no one else but me.

  I burst into the police station with Jackson on my hip, gazing around confused. I approached the desk and stared down at the policeman. "You know who I am, so I bet you know what I want."

  He shot to his feet. "Mrs. Miller."

  "Yes."

  "I'll call the detective."

  A few moments later she appeared. "Mrs. Miller."

  "What's happening?"

  "We only started a few minutes ago."

  "I want to know why you'd think he could possibly kill someone. He's the sheriff."

  She sighed. "Come with me."

  She led me through to the same room I'd watched Nova be questioned in. Paul sat on a chair leaning over the desk with his hand in his hair. He was being questioned, and he answered with a hint of agitation.

  Finally he huffed and said, "Can you send someone to check on Bray? She doesn't need this extra worry."

  I smiled, but my heart broke, knowing I couldn't be with him.

  "How long have you been seeing Mrs. Miller?" the man asked.

  He shrugged. "Not long. A few days."

  "But you've been interested in her for a while."

  He sighed. "Yes."

  "Is it true she looks like your previous girlfriend, Miss Hannah Garland?"

  He ruffled his hair. "A little. Just the hair…"

  The man set a photo of a glamorous model on the table. "I can see more of a resemblance than the hair."

  Paul's hand froze on his head. He clutched his hair as his eyes widened on the photograph. "I'd forgotten…"

  "Apart from being taller and much skinnier than Mrs. Miller, they look about identical."

  Paul shook his head and folded his arms. "No. Braydon is much prettier."

  I smiled, but bit my lip to hide it.

  "So Sheriff, when you first saw Mrs. Miller it must have shocked you."

  Paul chuckled. "That's an understatement. I thought maybe they were sisters or cousins. I avoided her as much as I could."

  "Several witnesses say you followed her outside during the welcome party for her and her husband."

  He nodded. "I did. I saw she looked uncomfortable, and I was right. She was having contractions and had the baby that night."

  "What did you think as you looked at the woman who looks so similar to your ex?"

  Paul shrugged. "It was weird. She was very different to Hannah, but very similar, too. At the time I'd become friends with Forrest and I felt concerned for him because I couldn't get past her similarity to Hannah, and I was convinced she'd run out on him."

  "There were several occasions where you were alone with Mrs. Miller before her husband's death. What did you think and feel at these times?"

  Paul raised his eyebrow. "There weren't many occasions we were alone. I can only think of one, and that was after a bunch of punk kids had made racist comments about her mix blood baby, so I walked her home."

  "And what happened?"

  He shrugged. "I walked her home, she went inside, and I went back to work."

  "How about the times you stared at her in church?"

  Paul leaned back. "Excuse me?"

  "You were seen staring at her in church while she was still with Mr. Miller."

  "Ahh." Paul rubbed his hair. "I don't remember that."

  "Apparently you did it every Sunday."

  My stomach tightened. How long had Paul had feelings for me? I'd always thought the early few months of our relationship were strained and tense.

  "Hmm." Paul rubbed his chin. "I may have been trying to figure her out. She and Forrest were so happy, but as I said, she was so like Hannah in many ways."

  "You weren't even slightly attracted to her?"

  His eyebrow twitched. "Then? No."

  "Why not? You obviously find her very attractive now."

  He huffed. "She was married, wasn't she?"

  "So Mr. Miller was in your way."

  Paul's eyes widened. "No. She was his wife. I don't look at other men's wives."

  "But, according to witnesses, you were keen on her before his body was even found. When he was still just missing."

  I held my breath.

  Paul rubbed his neck. "Yeah. But it had been months by then. There was no way he could be alive. The winters out here are so severe."

  "Good cover for you, isn't it?" The man pointed at the picture. "You saw a chance to get her back, the woman you wanted to marry, so you took it."

  Paul glared at him. "No. I thought Braydon was a pain in the ass until I got to know her."

  "And when was that?"

  "When she gave me dinners in exchange for fixing up her house because her husband was dead and she had no one else."

  "So you rode in on your white horse—"

  "This is ridiculous." Paul threw his hands in the air. "I didn't kill Forrest. Why don't you focus on finding who raped Nova because that's when you'll find the killer."

  The word "raped" lingered in my ears and I spun away, covering my mouth. Everyone kept saying "sexually assaulted" but the abruptness of "raped" sent chills through me.

  The detective caught my arm and helped me into a chair. "Do you need something to drink?"

  I shook my head. "It was… Nova, I never heard anyone call it raped before. Poor Nova. That's what happened to Forrest's sisters. He'd be devastated if he knew."

  The man in the room's voice cut through. "Why is Nova so angry at you, Sheriff?"

  "I shot her in a standoff," he answered simply.

  "But wasn't that several years ago?"

  Paul ran his hand through his hair. "Yeah. I think she blames me for her mom running off and leaving her, too."

  "Do you think she's a pretty girl?"

  Paul swore. "No. I didn't touch her. Don't you dare try to pin that on me."

  "She's quite adamant to keep you away from her and Mrs. Miller."

  "Yeah, because she's probably afraid I'll take her new mom away from her."

  The detective rested her hand on my shoulder. "Do you believe Nova see's you like a mother?"

  I paused to think about it. Then, I slowly nodded. "Maybe. She was very upset when she was told she couldn't sleep in my bed with me, and she's very protective of me, but I thought maybe she saw me as a sister, not a mother."

  Jackson pointed from my lap. "Paul."

  I stroked his head. "Yes, it's Paul."

  He looked up at me. "Paul."

  "You can't see him right now. He's busy."

  He pouted and climbed off my lap, rushing to the window. "Paul."

  I rubbed my temples.

  "Mrs. Miller, maybe you should go home."

  I looked up at the detective. "What about Paul?"

  She leaned against the wall. "We need to look into this lead. From everything I've seen I doubt he did it. But we need to check."

  I moaned and ran my fingers through my hair. "My life is so screwed up and I feel like there's really nothing I can do about it." I sighed. "Except one thing."

  I looked across at Paul as he defended himself from being accused of attacking Nova. "I need to take care of Nova, which means… which means… can I do that though? Would it be the right thing to do?"

  She touched my shoulder. "I cannot give you answers for questions like that."

  I huffed. "I know."

  I stood and scooped up Jackson. "I'll wait until he's done. I need to do this quick or I'll back out."

  She nodded. "He won't be much longer."

  She took me into a quiet waiting room where I let Jackson roam and explore. About half an hour later, Paul was led into the room and the door shut behind him. T
he look of relief on his face stung.

  "Bray, are you all right?" He rushed over and sat beside me. "I can't believe someone would blame me for that. I could have lost my job, and…"

  He trailed off and grabbed my hand. "What's wrong?"

  I rubbed my eyes as tears threatened to push free. "We can't be together."

  His hand tightened around mine. "What?"

  "I don't want to see you anymore."

  He caressed my face. "Why?"

  "Paul!" Jackson bustled over and climbed onto his lap.

  I snatched up Jackson. "It's too complicated. I just can't deal with all this."

  I stood and hurried out the door.

  He rushed after me. "I told you, let me do the fighting."

  I shook my head as we stepped outside. "I can't, Paul."

  "Why?" He grabbed my arm and pulled me around. "Less than two hours ago everything was fine. You were excited to go out with me again this Friday. You can't seriously tell me that this changed everything."

  My lip quivered. How could I push him away? He needed something powerful or he'd keep after me. Then, a thought came to me. I met his eyes. "Stop trying to use me to replace Hannah."

  He flinched away, horrified.

  I hurried to buckle in Jackson while he stood stunned. But as I hurried around to the driver's seat, he stopped me. "I'm not. You're so different."

  I pulled away. "I saw that picture. Now I know why everyone calls me the short, fat version."

  He swore loudly. "You're not replacing her. Who would say that about you anyway? Sarah, because she's jealous?"

  I pulled open my door. "I'm going home."

  He caught my arm. "Let me ride with you so we can talk."

  My heart screamed yes, but my head yelled no louder. "Call Clint."

  I sank into the seat and pulled the door shut.

  He swore again and knocked on the window. "Bray, come on."

  I started the car.

  "Braydon! I'll keep fighting for you. I don't know why you suddenly changed your mind, but I'm going to fix it."

  I opened the window, my heart pounding as I yelled, "No one wants us to be together. Everything keeps pulling us apart. So just give up, Paul. We're not meant to be."

  I reversed out of the parking space, and drove away, tears streaming down my face again. No one wanted us to be together, except us, and the pain of letting him go hurt almost as much as losing Forrest.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Several days passed and I couldn't get out of my slump. Even though Nova seemed happier than ever, I couldn't seem to find any cheer, and the endless snowing didn't seem to help.

  By the time the snow stopped, I emerged to find a four foot blanket surrounding my house.

  "Nova!" I called.

  She rushed out to me.

  "We need to get rid of all this snow so we can get out."

  She snorted and went back inside.

  I spun. "Are you kidding me?"

  She ran up the stairs and slammed her door shut.

  "Oh Nova! You better be putting snow boots on." I hurried out the back to grab wood for the fire.

  Several hours later, I'd finished what I needed to do around the house and with my work, and marched out the front, knowing Nova hadn't left her room. But as I threw the door open ready to yell at her, I gasped.

  Megan paused her ascent of the stairs and stared at me wide eyed. "I didn't mean to surprise you…"

  I pointed at my clear path and driveway. "Who did that?"

  She looked around before setting Donny down in front of Jackson. "Ahh, it was like this when I arrived."

  I scowled. "Is the sheriff on duty?"

  She scowled too, and put her hand on her hips. "About the sheriff. We need to talk."

  She grabbed my arm and used her legs to push Donny and Jackson back inside.

  She pulled me into the living room and stood over me. "What's going on with you and Paul?"

  I stared at the fire. "Nothing."

  "Nothing?" She threw her hands in the air. "After everything that happened between you, now it's nothing? What the heck is wrong with you? You said you were in love with him!"

  My gaze shot up to her. "No I—"

  "You practically screamed it at Sarah!" She growled and started pacing. "What happened? Clint came home a few days ago ranting about it being your fault Paul was dragged off to Bearville, then you just left him there. Then Paul comes around all butt-whipped and sayin' you've pushed him away again."

  I flushed. "It will never work out—"

  "Oh yes it will." She swung around to face me and leaned over to look me directly in the eyes. "I know you love him, so why are you keeping him at a distance?"

  I huffed. "It's too complicated."

  "Too complicated?" Her voice rose in pitch. "You were married for several years and you're sayin' a relationship is too complicated?"

  "It's not a normal relationship!" I snarled. "There's so many others involved, so many other factors I need to consider."

  "Like what? Nova? This stupid sham of a court case?"

  "Yes!"

  She shook her head. "There's more than that though, isn't there?"

  I huffed. "And there's Sarah, and Clint made it perfectly clear I needed to stay away—"

  "I'm gonna kill that man." She waved her finger in my face. "I'm gonna make sure you have no more excuses. I'm gonna march into town and kill my husband, closely followed by Sarah."

  "Megan—"

  "Then I'm gonna march upstairs and give that Nova what for!" She strode toward the door. "Watch Donny for me."

  She slammed the door shut behind her.

  I glanced down at Donny and Jackson playing happily together on the floor. I collapsed back on the couch and flicked on a kids show for them while I shut my eyes.

  I jumped when someone knocked on the door. I hurried over and opened it. "Sarah!"

  She flushed. "I… I'm sorry for, well, acting pretty crazy."

  "Uh…"

  "Honestly, I miss talking to you. I was stupid to let a guy get between us. Please forgive me?"

  I sighed, slumping. This was what I wanted, wasn't it? An uncomplicated life? "Of course, Sarah. Did you want to come in?"

  She shook her head. "I just walked over during my lunch break. I should get back." She turned and looked around. "Did Nova do all this?"

  "I honestly have no idea who did it."

  She glanced back at me with a raised eyebrow. "Well, you're very lucky. They even salted them so ice wouldn't form. We don't want you slipping and breaking your pretty nose, do we?"

  She turned and left. A knot formed in my stomach as I realized she'd only come back because she heard I'd broken it off with Paul. She must have believed Paul cleared my path and driveway, thus the snide remark. I'd need to tread on eggshells around her. I wondered if it was even worth it if she could turn so easily.

  I closed the door and stared at my wedding picture. "Forrest, I wish you could help me."

  An hour later Megan returned, but I heard her coming before she entered the house. "Clint, you sort out your screwed up way of thinkin' or you won't be seein' us for a while!"

  I couldn't help smiling at how redneck her accent became when she got mad.

  "Megan, this is insane!"

  "You're insane! I can't believe you'd say that to Bray! Are you trying to keep your best friend single for the rest of his life?"

  "Megan—"

  "Because you are you know." My front door burst open. "You fix what you've done by apologizin' to Bray and we'll come home."

  "Megan, come on!"

  "You're such an ass, Clinton Clark."

  She turned and saw me sitting on the couch. "Hi Bray, sweetheart." She gave me a sweet smile before turning vicious on Clint again. "Now's your chance!"

  Clint stepped through the door with a deep scowl and his shoulders slumped. He glanced across at me and huffed. "Megan, this is so stupid."

  "Do it."

  He mumbled som
ething and she slapped him hard across the rump. "Ouch! Geez Megan! Fine."

  He marched over and stood over me, his arms folded. "I may have been wrong about you."

  "May have been?" Megan said in a high pitched voice.

  "Fine I was wrong about you." He huffed. "Paul has been miserable for days, so could you just talk to him or something?"

  I blinked, thrown off guard.

  Donny grabbed his pants. "Daddy."

  Clint picked him up. "I don't…argh…" He rubbed his hair. "It's 'cause you look like her, okay? It didn't bother me when you were married to Forrest, but now Paul's interested I get so… so frustrated. And you've been so up and down I just don't…"

  He growled. "I know, I need to be more understanding, Megan tells me that all the time and…" He clenched his teeth and muttered something.

  "What was that?" Megan snapped.

  "I said I'm sorry!" he yelled, more at her than me.

  She nodded. "That's better."

  Nova appeared beside Megan and glanced around at everyone, confused.

  "Finally you emerge." I stood and pointed to the front yard. "You were supposed to do something."

  She glanced out, saw her chore done, and shrugged.

  I frowned. "Nova."

  Clint drummed his fingers on his hip. "That must have been why Paul was late this morning."

  Nova gasped and ran outside. She climbed on top of a mound and started kicking it down onto the path.

  Clint rushed out and grabbed her around the waist, lifting her over his shoulder. "What are you doing, you crazy kid?"

  She screamed and kneed him hard in the chest.

  He dropped her and bent over, winded.

  "Clint!" Megan ran to him while I rushed over to Nova who kicked at the snow again.

  "Nova!"

  I heard her ankle cuff beep.

  "Nova!" I cried, frightened.

  She didn't seem to notice and took an extra step. It beeped again.

  "Nova! Come back—"

  The third beep rang in my ears.

  "Nova!"

  She lifted her foot to take another step, when suddenly she was on the ground. I jumped back as Paul pushed off from on top of her. "Almost crossed the line there. You should pay more attention."

  She slapped him across the face and ran to stand in front of me.

  He ignored her and glanced at each of us. "The neighbors called. Said there was some yelling."