by Michelle Lee
"No Kassidy, he's not a player; at least not now. At one time Davis was more than average male slut. But he's grown up over the past few of years. I think he's remained friends with a few of the girls, but quite honestly, I think it's just a reminder of how he used to be so he doesn't go back down that road; although he won't admit it. Chloe knows better," she says tapping her temple.
I hate when she talks about herself in the third person. She has a bad habit of doing that and it drives me insane. I mean who talks like that except crazy people.
Hello, pot, have you met kettle?
"Anything else?"
"Um, no, I'll let you know when I think of anything though."
I don't think my head can take it anymore, it still feels the effects of last night and on the verge of exploding if too much information is needed to process. Besides, I am a little nervous talking about it in front of Macy. Usually it wouldn't matter, but this time it is different somehow.
We finish our meal, pay the bill, and we each head to our respective homes. When I get home, I work a little on Reynolds's case, but I really can't focus. I take a deep breath and put my work away. I have the sudden urge to have a glass of wine and take a nice long hot bath. Just what the doctor ordered. I draw the water, light some candles and grab my IPod and place it in the dock. I’m not paying attention to what is playing, as I inch my way into the soothing water. Then the words penetrate my fog and I realize “A Matter of Feeling” by Duran Duran is playing. Simon’s words take on new meaning, and they express exactly how I am feeling. Love is history to me. I have been fucked with and dumped on in the past; finding love clearly not an option for me now or so I used to think. My defenses have been a habit, but now with Davis in the picture, maybe I am ready for something new. I know my inner self thinks so, along with my friends. And when I really think about it, my mind and my body are definitely desperate for it, craving it. I need and want to be loved and to love again. I tune out the rest of the song. It is too much too take. Tears began to stream my face. It is a combination of hearing those lyrics, knowing what I want and need and don't have and also the weight and pressure of work falling in on me. I sink deeper into the tub allowing the water to take my body completely. It is a cleansing of sorts and it just feels necessary and right.
***
As I lay here in bed waiting for Mr. Sandman to make an appearance, my thoughts turn to Davis. He was great the last night. I have to give him credit where credit is due. And he was especially sweet this morning. Maybe I am wrong about him. I’m not going to let down my dick defenses, I am still a little apprehensive. In time, things might change, but I’m not going to get mine or anyone else's hopes up. It is a lost cause, me and men, something I accepted a long time ago. As I close my eyes, I see smoldering green staring back at me. My gaze can't look away and I feel warm and safe all over. Then Mr. Sandman finally comes.
***
I have been buried at work for the past week and a half, two weeks really. Reynolds's case is going longer than expected and I am at my wit's end with it and the man himself. The partners are pleased, so I don't have that to worry about. At least something in my life makes sense. Work has always been that escape for me, and I’ve welcomed that escape a lot more lately.
I leave the office late, as usual, and have an overwhelming craving for Chinese food. Mr. Ling's is on my way home, so I figure take out is a very good idea. I can practically taste that shrimp sauce. It has been a long day and I have a chilled bottle of wine waiting at home, and it is calling my name. Besides, my stomach is protesting my lack of lunch earlier. I am starving. Occupational hazard.
I pull up to Mr. Ling's and for a Tuesday night it is quite busy. Guess everyone has a craving tonight. I make my way inside and get in line, when I realize I need to call Elaine. I pull out my phone while I wait to place my order.
"Elaine, hi, it's Kassidy."
"Yes, Miss Marshall."
"Make sure you FedEx that file tonight. It's really crucial that it goes overnight."
"Already taken cared of Miss Marshall."
"Elaine, you're the best."
"Thank you Miss Marshall."
"You know you can call me Kassidy."
"Yes Miss Marshall. Anything else?"
"Yes, go get some much needed rest, you deserve it."
"Thank you Miss Marshall."
"I'll see you bright and early tomorrow morning."
"Sure, Miss Marshall. Good night."
"Good night Elaine"
There are times when Elaine can be a real pain in the ass and have attitude, but today and tonight she was great. As I attempt to put my phone back in my purse, I totally miss and it falls to the floor.
"Shit!"
I bend down to pick it up, but before I can, it is being handed to me.
"Here you go."
"Thanks."
I know that voice and when I look up to see who it is, I am met with emerald, green, twinkling eyes and a crooked smile.
"Davis?"
"You're craving Mr. Ling's too, huh?"
I am dumbfounded. It is as if I have forgotten how to speak. I knew he had moved here and I knew I would probably run into him from time to time, but honestly, I didn't think it would be this soon or here. Shit, he only moved back about two weeks ago.
Say something Marshall.
"Um, uh, yeah. I was working late and didn't feel like cooking or having just a sandwich or something easy like that. So here I am. Mr. Ling's is the best," I fucking ramble.
Put a lid on it. He didn't ask for a play by play of our dinner plans.
I know, but some reason he's made me suddenly nervous, just by the way he's looking at me.
I get it, but just be cool. We don't need him thinking we're a total nut job. Well, at least not yet.
Okay, okay.
Davis is still looking at me with such intensity, that I am drawn to him and I feel like I might incinerate right there in the middle of Mr. Ling's. I want to reach out to him. To just touch him. I can feel the air around us ignite with heat and electricity. This is weird to say the least. I actually think I like it. My inner self seems to like it even more. Hell yeah I do!
"So, what are you getting?" He smirks shaking his head.
When he shakes his head, my senses are assaulted with honey and spice with a hint of citrus, his smell, and it takes me back to when he took me home and tucked me into bed and kissed my forehead, and.... My inner self giggles and I feel my belly constrict and tighten. What is Ryan Davis doing to me?
"Um, the usual." I squirm.
"And, what's the usual, Miss Marshall?"
"Oh, scallion chicken and an egg roll."
Mr. Ling's scallion chicken is to die for. It is so outrageously delicious; it makes me want to bathe in it. Not that I would really ever do that, it is just that damn incredible.
"I'm getting Moo Shu pork, my usual."
While he talks, my inner self begins jumping up and down and she is poking me. Ask him, ask him. Strange enough, the idea is mine and not hers. Another weird occurrence.
"Hey Davis,"
"Uh huh," he replies as he moves closer to the take out counter.
"If you don't have plans would you want to come back to my apartment and have dinner?" I quickly ask before I lose my nerve or come to my fucking senses. What am I thinking? Why did I just ask him to have dinner with me? I have totally lost my mind.
Maybe you’re working on giving him that third chance.
"Are you asking me on a date Miss Marshall?" he jokes. At least I think he is joking. God I hope he is.
I don’t want him to think it’s a date, right? It’s not a date; just one friend of a friend asking another friend of a friend to share dinner. He’s new in town that’s why I’m asking, no other reason. It’s not a date. Make him know it’s not a date. "Oh, no. I just thought since you just moved back. Um, forget I asked." I feel my skin heat up with embarrassment. Why does he do this to me? Why can’t I react to him like a normal pers
on?
His expression shows concern, his green eyes stare into me making me feel…making me feel things I haven’t felt in a long time. "Kassidy, I was just teasing. I would love to share Mr. Ling's with you."
"Cool." I sound like a complete idiot, I’m sure.
Davis nods, his smile wide, his eyes bright. “Cool.”
We both place our orders and he follows me back to my building. I make my way to the parking garage, while he parks out front. When I make my way back to the entrance, Davis is patiently waiting for me by the keypad, and God does he look incredible standing there. I swear it’s as if he’s at a photo shoot. He’s wearing faded jeans and this blue t shirt that hugs what the man has. And holy shit, does he have. I mean I can literally count the six pack through the thin material. What I wouldn’t do…
Then I realize he’s standing by the keypad—the keypad. My mind is suddenly flooded with visions of my shaky finger trying to punch in the stupid code. The stupid code. Again, I can feel that wave of crimson making itself known. I look up and meekly smile at Davis, as a nervous giggle erupts from me.
Shit!
"I know what you're thinking. Don't worry. I won't tease you or tell anyone about your inability to enter a simple code. A code, you probably have known for quite some time." He smiles his signature panty-poofing crooked grin and chuckles.
"Thanks," I say as sarcastically as I can. He again just laughs it off and I have to smile and laugh myself. I'm sure I looked pretty hilarious that night. Hell, if it had been Macy I would have peed my pants from laughing so hard.
I easily enter the code and we enter the quiet building. You can only hear the clickety clack of my shoes, as we make our way in silence toward the elevators. After we enter the elevator, Mr. Ling's fills the air and envelopes us completely. My stomach growls and out of the corner of my eye I can see his shoulders shake. He is definitely laughing at me and at my stomach's need to let itself be known. As we stand there, in the small space, waiting for it to reach my floor, there is a magnetic pull between us and an electric charge surges in the air. I have the overwhelming sensation to get closer to him, to close the Grand Canyon like gap between us. I also have the sudden urge to run my fingers through his disarrayed wind-blown locks and feel his lips against mine.
Mothertruckershitballs! Where the hell did that come from?
Just go with it.
Just go with it? Are you kidding me?
No, I'm not, just trust me. I won't let you do anything stupid.
You had better not or I will kick your ass.
Testy, testy.
Oh, you haven't seen testy yet, Missy.
All right, but please just trust me.
Fine.
With that resolved, Davis is looking at me with a very puzzled look on his face. He probably thinks I am a nut case. Hell, I think I am and I'm pretty sure I look like one, as I wrestle with my inner self. She is causing me so many problems lately.
"Don't worry I'm not crazy," I jokingly assure him.
"Are you sure? I could have Belleview on speed dial," he teases back.
"Good to know."
Finally the elevator dings and the doors open. We make our way to my door and he grabs my things so I can easily find my keys. Damn oversized bag. Once we are inside he sets out our take out on the counter, while I grab plates, wine glasses and the wine from the fridge. I’m not even sure if he wants to have any, but God knows I do; especially since I’m with him in my apartment—alone.
"Wine?" I ask holding up the chilled bottle.
"Sure."
The wine is poured, the food is dished out and chop sticks are in hand. I am beyond starving at this point and pray to everyone and anyone listening that I don’t shovel the food in my mouth like I want to and show some manners. We sit in silence for a while, when I decide to break the proverbial ice.
"So, you've known Jason for quite a while, huh?' I ask pinching a piece of chicken in my chop sticks. I know him and Jason go way back, but I can't remember exactly how far.
"Yeah, we've been best buds since junior high."
"Really? Wow, you must have some great stories to tell."
"Yep a ton," is all he divulges, as he dips his egg roll in duck sauce.
Is that all he's gonna give me? I don't think so.
"Well, tell me at least one story," I say trying not to sound too eager. But the truth be told, I really am eager to know more about this man.
"A story, huh? I'll tell you what, I'll show you mine if you show me yours." His eyes dance as he speaks those words with a devilish grin.
"Okay, tit for tat." Two can play this game.
"All right a story, a story." And he is lost deep in thought.
"I got one for ya. We were about twelve years old, I think. Anyway, his sister was having a friend spend the night, so Anderson asked me to spend the night too. Basically so we could torture his sister and her friend. Well, at some point in the middle of the night, we all ended up hanging out trying to scare each other with ghost stories. Anderson brings up that one of our friends did that Bloody Mary thing. You know, when you say Bloody Mary three times while looking in a mirror and she's supposed to come and you see her in the mirror all covered in blood?"
"Yeah, please tell me you didn't believe that?"
"No, but his sister and her friend did, somewhat. So me being me, dared Anderson to do it. Of course, the girls squealed no, but Anderson was determined. He left the room and went to the bathroom just across the hall and closed the door. About a minute later we heard him shriek in terror and he came bolting out of the bathroom. He jumped on the bed begging for help. When he finally looked up at us, his face was covered in blood. The girls let out a blood curdling scream and fled. I sat there laughing my ass off with Anderson."
"He wasn't really bleeding was he?"
"No, he had smeared iodine from the medicine cabinet on his face. It was fucking hilarious. Classic Anderson," he laughs like he was that twelve year old boy again. It is very cute and endearing.
Add that to the pro column of why we need to get to know him better.
"It does sound like Jason," and I have to laugh with him. I can actually picture that totally happening. We laugh together for a good couple of minutes. By the time we stop, we were both wiping tears from our cheeks.
"Okay, your turn."
"A story. I can't really think of any."
"Oh, come on Kassidy, you have to have some good stories about you and Chloe?"
"Well, there was this one time...."
"Please, don't finish that with in band camp," he chuckles.
I nearly choke, "No, I wasn't, but there was this one time in college actually."
"Go on."
"Okay, but you'll think it's stupid."
"I promise, I won't. Cross my heart and boy scout’s honor." And he literally crosses his heart and does the scout's honor sign after wards.
"Like you were ever a boy scout."
"No, but it's the universal guy promising sign. Trust me."
That is the problem. I’m not really sure if I can trust him. I haven’t trusted any man since... Take the leap Kassidy.
"All right, a story. Well, her parents were out of town and we stopped over their place to get the mail and check on things. Anyway, while we were there, feeding the fish, Chloe whips out a very fat joint. I was a little surprised. I really had never seen Chloe smoke before or even talk about getting high. She asked if I wanted to light up and I thought what the hell. You only live once right? And I was curious what the fuss was all about. I mean I never did anything like that in high school since my dad was an agent and all, but now that I was away at college I figured why not. What daddy doesn’t know won’t hurt him. Although I’m sure he knew somehow, I mean he always knew when I was up to something even before I did it. Anyway, we sat on her parents back patio taking toke for toke. It really didn't hit us until we went to leave. Chloe turned the alarm on as we left and locked the door. But she had forgotten about the ma
il tucked under her arm. So she quickly unlocked the door, the alarm beeped and buzzed like crazy and she began to throw each piece of mail, one letter at a time, into the house. And let me tell you, her parents always got a lot of mail. I stood there laughing my fucking ass off with tears streaming down my face. She finally finished and remembered to turn the alarm off just in time. I practically peed my pants."
And again we are both laughing with tears streaming down our cheeks.
"That was the best. And you totally surprised me Miss Marshall"
"Oh, Mr. Davis you have no idea the many surprises I have up my sleeve," I playfully tease.
This time he nearly chokes. Apparently I surprised him again. My inner self high fives me.
This is pretty fun.
I told you to just go with it.
For once you were right.
For once?
That's all I'm giving you.
I'll take it, woot woot!
We finish Mr. Ling's and the bottle of wine. "Fortune cookie time,' he announces handing me one.
"You first." I wave to him.
"Okay." He cracks open the cookie and pulls out the fortune.
"Well, what does it say?" I am very curious to know for some reason.
"You will be intrigued by a beautiful brunette." He winks.
"It does not," I gasp, as I try to grab the fortune from him.
"Uh, Uh. This is for my eyes only. If you look at it, it may not come true. And I would really like my fortune to come true." He smiles, as his eyes smolder.
I feel a burst of heat radiate from my toes and flash across my entire body.
"What does yours say?" he quickly diverts the attention.
"Let's see." I crack open my fortune with very shaky hands making it a crumbly mess.
"Well?"
"It says the chances of you giving someone a third chance are extremely favorable."
Well played.
Thank you.
You're liking this aren't you?
Yes I am.
Good.
His mouth gapes open and I have to chuckle at the expression on his face. Surprised once again.
Woot, woot!
"Well, I better go," he finally says, his face losing all the playfulness it just had. Something dark mars his features and I’m not sure I understand what just happened. Everything was going great. I mean, I said yes to a third chance, a fresh start. But now I’m not so sure if that’s what he wants by his reaction. I could have sworn he was flirting with me, but then again maybe not. I am out of practice. Maybe I spooked him by being too forward? Or maybe I’m just reading more into this? No, I’m definitely reading what I need to read. Something’s changed. Something shifted between us and I’m not sure what it is.
