Envy (The Damning Book 2)

by Katie May

Spinning to face me, she jabbed a finger accurately into the center of my

  chest.

  “You. Are. Not. To. Blame.” She released a pent-up breath. “Now stop all

  this pouting or else I’ll cut off your balls.”

  Now, there was the threatening Z I knew and loved.

  For her, only her, I allowed my shadows to recede. Unlike the first time I

  showed her, she didn’t recoil in disgust. Instead, fascination lit up her face

  like a beacon calling me home.

  Home.

  She was my fucking home.

  A small hand reached up to trace the dozens of scars marring my skin, but

  it didn’t shake.

  “Why do you hide?” Her voice was soft, as soft as her hand. The wing of

  a butterfly. A torrent of snowflakes seconds from burning away by my skin’s

  heat.

  “Because I’m hideous,” I whispered. For some reason, I spoke just as

  softly as she had. I didn’t dare speak any louder and break the tranquility we

  had found ourselves in.

  I hadn’t realized how much self-loathing I felt, how much doubt I felt in

  our relationship, until she called me out on my bullshit. Since I had first

  discovered she was missing to the moment I thought she was...dead...I had

  been adrift at sea. Guilt didn’t encapsulate what I felt just then. It was

  something more, something other. It was an aching pain that began just in my

  heart and clawed its way down my body. In those brief moments, I had to

  imagine a life without Z in it. A life without the titillating female. Without

  her snark and laugh.

  And...I didn’t want to live it.

  When I had discovered she was alive, a life preserver had been tossed to

  me, and I had to decide if I was going to hold on. The waves would be

  erratic, I knew that, but the paradise we found would be worth it.

  But because of my stubbornness at the ball, she had nearly...

  I shook my head succinctly. She was right. I wasn’t to blame for the

  actions of others, and if I would’ve been with her, it might’ve ended much

  differently. Maybe in both of our deaths.

  I had to be grateful that she and my brothers were alive.

  “Are you ready to get your head out of your ass?” she asked lightly, and I

  nodded.

  “You are welcome to have your head in my ass anytime you desire,” I

  responded.

  She snorted.

  “You might think that’s sexy, but the last thing I want to be privy to is

  your man farts.”

  “Man farts?” I brought my hand to my chest in mock horror. “I’ll have

  you know that that’s sexist. My farts smell like daisies.”

  “Why are we talking about farts when I was thinking about kissing you?”

  she mused, tapping her finger to her chin.

  “Wait? Kissing?”

  “Not anymore.” She laughed, the sound misting away the last of my

  doubts. “Now, are you coming with us?”

  I gestured towards the swords hanging from my back.

  “No,” I drawled languidly. “I just carry around swords wherever I go.”

  Her lips tilted up, and she leaned forward to whisper conspiratorially in

  my ear. “I wouldn’t blame you. I do.”

  Did it make me a psychopath to get slightly turned on by her

  proclamation?

  With a sultry smirk, she pressed a kiss to my cheek and raced out my

  door.

  TWENTY-THREE

  JAX

  She was leaving me.

  Leaving.

  Leaving.

  The crisp white walls seemed to be closing in on me, surrounding me,

  suffocating me. To my horror, the framed pictures adorning the hallway walls

  changed and contorted. A landscape of flowery hills transformed into

  gallows, a young woman hanging precariously from the rope around her

  neck.

  Her blond curls and beautiful face was unmistakable, even in death.

  A sob caught in my throat as I stared at the portrait of my beautiful mate.

  My beautiful, dead mate.

  Death.

  It followed me around constantly, an ominous cloud hovering just above

  my head, threatening to release a torrent of heavy rainfall.

  Death. Death. Death.

  Around the picture, blood cascaded down the pristine white walls in

  rivulets. They puddled on the wooden floorboards.

  Death. Death. Death.

  My hand fisted in my hair, pulling to the point of pain. I knew that more

  than one strand of blond hair broke free each time I pulled.

  I took a deep breath, trying to ease the tightness in my chest. It pressed

  down on me like a weight I couldn’t quite carry but wasn’t heavy enough to

  kill me. It just sat there, mildly uncomfortable.

  Death.

  Death.

  Death.

  The blood on the floor rose from the ground, as if pulled by an unseen

  force, and molded itself into the shape of a person. First the small body, then

  the glasses, then the flowing hair.

  Her presence stabbed me, gutted me. I couldn’t look away as she took one

  step closer and then another.

  “You did this to me.” Her voice was the sweet one I remembered, though

  I hadn’t heard it often. Once or twice, maybe, but my memories of that time

  were foggy. “Why did you do this?”

  “Sasha, I’m sorry,” I sobbed. My back hit the wall, and my feet gave out.

  Crumbling to the ground, I held my head in my hands. Pain slammed into me

  with the force of a meteor. It burned me on impact.

  “You did this,” Sasha repeated. Her gaze was accusatory, lips parted in a

  silent scream. Anguish. It emitted from every pore of her little body. “You

  did this to me.”

  My mind staggered back in time, recalling memories I had tried to keep

  buried.

  A young Sasha looking at me as if I held the moon.

  My fangs piercing her neck.

  And then...

  A cry escaped me, a pathetic, whining sound.

  Still, Sasha did not stop her advancements. She stood directly in front of

  me, her body of blood swishing with each step she took. A bloody hand

  reached out to caress my cheek, and I knew it would leave a handprint.

  “You’re going to kill her too,” she whispered, eyes flickering towards the

  painted picture. It had changed once more. Instead of gallows, it showed the

  blond haired female lying on the ground. Her unseeing eyes focused on me.

  Me.

  Death.

  “No,” I whispered, unable to tear my gaze away from the bloody wounds

  on her neck. The product of fangs, my fangs. “I wouldn’t hurt her.”

  “You would,” Sasha insisted in that same, airy voice. “And you’re going

  to.”

  “No!”

  I straightened, shoving at her small body in my attempt to escape. I felt

  my body tilting, falling, before I hit the ground with a resonating slap. Pain

  darted down my legs.

  “No.” I shook my head once. “Never.”

  I needed to see her. I needed to see with my own eyes that she was okay

  and safe.

  Pushing myself back to my feet, I began to move down the long hallway.

  Behind me, Sasha’s laugh carried.

  Mate. Where was my mate?

  I found myself in front of a familiar door, and I pushed it open without

  preamble.r />
  My desperation ebbed when I noted how empty the room was. I tried to

  feel her, sense her presence. My skin no longer prickled as it usually did

  when she was around.

  Did that mean...?

  Another anguished cry escaped me as I sunk to my knees. Tears ran down

  my face, but I couldn’t find the motivation or even the desire to brush them

  away.

  Loneliness swamped me. It was unlike anything I had ever felt before, a

  tsunami that I couldn’t escape from.

  She had left me.

  She had left me all alone.

  Alone.

  I was alone.

  There was nothing else to do, nothing else to say.

  Around me, the walls began to laugh, the noise taunting. Somewhere in

  the twinkling cacophony, Sasha’s laughter echoed.

  Alone.

  Alone.

  The walls whispered it to me.

  I curled into a ball, placing my hands over my ears to block out the

  onslaught of noise. Too much. Too much.

  Death.

  Alone.

  Always alone.

  What was left besides waiting for death to find me?

  TWENTY-FOUR

  Z

  Iblew out an irritated breath, staring through the window of our transport.

  Dair’s knee touched mine as he gently wrapped an arm around me.

  “He’s fine,” he assured me for what felt like the billionth time.

  “It just makes me worried.”

  Before we had left, I had searched and rounded up the majority of my

  mates. Except for Jax. The Vampire had been suspiciously missing, and no

  matter where I looked, I couldn’t find him. Dair had promised me that the

  eccentric man was no doubt hiding in the walls or beneath a bed, but fear

  niggled me.

  Still, we were out of options. With one last reluctant look at the Capital, I

  had slid into the car.

  Now, we were curving up steep roads and hills on our way to the

  Mermaid Kingdom. The first kingdom I had ever traveled to.

  Living in the human communities, just on the outskirts of the Capital, felt

  like living in a war zone. A sect of land breeding slaves and food. There had

  been little to no electricity, the houses had been in disarray, and the people

  had been either cold or crazy.

  Despite my mission, I felt myself bounce in my seat, eager to see all this

  world had to offer.

  “You’re talking about the Vampire, right?” one of the twins asked. I still

  couldn’t recall his name. His hair was slightly darker than Dair’s, and his

  eyes were a blue-green color. Turning towards Dair, he flashed a malicious

  smirk. “How does it feel to know your mate shares a bed with another man?

  Or...more than one man.” He tittered, his twin joining in. Turning towards

  me, he asked, “Doesn’t that make you a slut?”

  When Dair’s face flushed red, hands clenching, I put a placating hand on

  his shoulder to calm him. I could handle a bunch of bullies.

  Leaning over Dair, I flashed Twin One a sultry smile. “Yes,” I answered

  breezily. “It does.”

  Twin One and Twin Two sputtered, not expecting me to agree with them,

  while Dair choked on a laugh. Tightening his arm around my shoulder, he

  pulled me into his side, lips caressing the top of my head.

  It seemed that my presence helped abate the tension constantly

  thrumming through him.

  Tavvy glanced back from where he sat in the passenger seat, beside a

  driver I wasn’t given the name of. His blue eyes were fixated on the sliver of

  space between my body and Dair’s, brows furrowing. When he spotted me

  looking, his expression smoothed over to be replaced by icy indifference.

  Fate really hated me. For some reason, it had chosen my car buddies to be

  the princes from hell. At least I had snagged Dair before the car took off. The

  last thing I wanted to be was alone with three men who looked at me with

  predatory, carnal hunger.

  Ryland, Lupe, and Bash rode in the car behind us, the latter of which had

  been sullen and moodier than normal. He had gifted me with a glare when he

  had arrived, suitcase swung over his shoulder. I had canted my hip to the

  side.

  “What are you doing here, Bash?” I had asked curtly. His lips had pressed

  into a thin line, but he didn’t automatically respond. He seemed to have been

  choosing his words carefully.

  I had waited, silence stretching, before he had turned on his heel and

  stomped towards the second car.

  The whole weird exchange had lasted only a few minutes, though it had

  felt like a year.

  Devlin had to stay behind. Something with his father, he had stated,

  though the details hadn’t been explicitly given. Killian had also stayed behind

  at the Capital after completely devouring my lips and cupping my ass.

  His cheeks flushed - though I couldn’t discern if it was from

  embarrassment or lust - he had made me promise to contact him if I ran into

  any trouble. Killian didn’t feel right leaving Jax alone, and I had never loved

  my Incubus as much as I did at that moment.

  Wait...love? No.

  Shaking my head to clear my thoughts, I glanced once more out the

  window.

  The sight was something to behold, something you would see in an

  intricately crafted painting. There were rocky, russet-colored cliffs falling

  into a turbulent sea. The water itself was frothy in appearance, white foam

  cresting the shoreline. From our perch high above the ocean, I could see

  dozens and dozens of tiny islands. Some were small, barely capable of

  hosting one house, while others were large and sheathed in green tapestries.

  My mouth dropped open as complete and utter awe filled me. This

  place...it was stunning.

  Dair chuckled as he took in my expression eagerly, devouring it. His arm

  tightened around my shoulders almost imperceptibly.

  “You see that island?” Dair asked softly, pointing towards a particularly

  small one floating in the violent sea. There was nothing on it besides a single

  tree and a wooden hut.

  “Yes.”

  “My mom used to live there,” he explained. “With her parents and mate.

  When my father chose her as a bride and my grandparents died, she kept the

  house. Said it helped her feel connected to what she once had.”

  It felt odd to be having this intimate conversation in front of an audience,

  but if Dair wasn’t bothered by it, I wasn’t going to be either.

  I turned fully in his arms, so I could see his expression easier. His blue

  eyes were wistful, trained on the splotch of green land. There was so much

  tenderness in his face as he reflected on his family home.

  “She used to take me there a lot,” he continued. “When I needed an

  escape. When I was having a bad day. When I...” he broke off, nuzzling my

  neck with his nose. I thought of younger Dair, then. Wide-eyed and innocent,

  without the weight of the world pressing down on his shoulders.

  “When you lost your legs,” I finished for him, and he nodded, the gesture

  something I felt rather than saw. I ran a gentle hand through his golden blond

  hair, relishing in the way he shuddered beneath my touch.

  Once more, I felt a pair of eye
s on me, but when I glanced in Tavvy’s

  direction, he was facing straight ahead. I wondered if I had imagined it,

  though my sixth sense warned me I hadn’t.

  And I always trusted my sixth sense.

  Unease unfurled in my gut, but I shoved it away. I would worry about

  Tavvy at a different time.

  “Is your mom there now?” I asked, still stroking Dair’s soft hair. It slid

  through my fingers like fine silk, the texture addicting.

  A dopey smile appeared on Dair’s face as he glanced up at me through

  his fringe of lashes.

  “Yes, with my sister.”

  “You have a sister?” I gasped in disbelief. It was times like that when I

  remembered I didn’t know everything about these men. I knew the big stuff,

  the life-altering stuff, but little details eluded me. With time, I would learn it

  all.

  Start with the big, end with the small.

  Dair went rigid beside me, eyes pleading with me to remain quiet. I

  glanced anxiously from the twins, whispering amongst themselves, to Tavvy.

  I nodded to tell Dair I understood while mentally recalling what I knew of

  his family. His mother had a mate, but she had been forced to leave him after

  being coveted by Dair’s father. His sister must’ve been his half-sister.

  Filing the information away for later, I glanced once more out the

  window just as we parked in front of a magnificent building.

  No, not a building. Not even a house.

  A castle.

  It was a tan color, the sun bleaching it white in more places than one. Tall

  pinnacles brushed the sky from various locations, each one a swirling point.

  Seashells bedecked the sides and roof. Somehow, it came across as more

  elegant than cheesy.

  “Shit,” I whispered, awe filling me.

  Ignoring my outburst, Tavvy swiveled in his seat to face me. “You’ll

  have your base of operations in here. Come.”

  Without waiting for my response, he slid out of the car and marched

  towards the front entrance. I exchanged an amused look with Dair at his

  brother’s pissy behavior before following him out.

  The front entrance was two large white doors, jewel-studded shells

  making up the handles. I almost didn’t want to touch something so beautiful,

  afraid that my own darkness would tarnish it.

  Fortunately, I didn’t need to touch anything. A guard rushed forward -

  where the fuck did he come from? - and gestured us through with a dramatic