Labeled Love

by Danielle Rocco

  “I’m not ready to share the entire song yet,” I tell him.

  He groans. “Baby, you’ve been writing it for like four years.”

  “Okay, fine.” I huff. “You want to hear it?” I give him my sassy tone.

  He looks at me, smiles, and kisses my nose. “No, I want to hear it when you’re ready,” he jokes.

  “You’re such a tease.”

  He reaches up with his hand and puts it around my neck. Pulling me down to him, he kisses me slowly. I sigh into his mouth. God, this boy makes me swoon. His touch is always tender.

  Jace can appear intimidating when people first see him, but not in a bad way. He is so striking that he looks like he should be a Calvin Klein model. He has that sexy bad boy look down.

  Our kiss starts out slow, but once I open up to him, he pulls me against him. This is probably too hot and heavy for the center. “Jace.” I breathe against him.

  “Yeah?” he says while continuing to torture me with his tongue.

  “We better stop.”

  “I don’t ever want to stop with you.” He pulls away, looking around.

  “One day I’m going to have you all to myself. I’m so tired of sharing you,” he says quietly against my ear, giving me goose bumps.

  Okay, that was super swoon-worthy. Changing the subject quickly as he plays with my hair, I say, “So, I have to go to my brother’s movie premiere this weekend. I’m really happy for him.”

  “Is this for that book series you love?”

  “Yes, I’m so excited to see those characters come to life.”

  “Oh boy,” he says, pulling my hair, “that’s all I’m going to hear about. That swoony boy that is so dreamy. What the heck is ‘swoony’ anyway?”

  “All you need to know is when you kiss me, it’s swoony.”

  He reaches down, putting his face next to mine. “Yeah, you like my kisses, baby?” His lips graze my cheek.

  “The way you touch me is swoony,” I say. He squeezes my thigh with a chuckle. “The way you talk to me is swoony.” Our eyes meet. “And the way you look at me is so… so swoony.” We stare into each other’s eyes. He pulls me onto his lap.

  “So this guy is pretty much a fictional version of me.”

  “Yup, exactly, but he’s a blond; I’m more into guys with black hair and pale blue eyes. And, he’s described as really preppy. I like my boys to be a little tough.” I wink.

  “Aw, now I can sleep better knowing I’m more appealing than your fictional dream.” He chuckles against my neck.

  “You’re the only boy I ever dream about,” I whisper into his ear quietly before getting up and brushing the grass from my jean shorts. Jace stands up and puts his hand in mine.

  “I hate this part of our day,” he says sweetly. Groaning, he turns to me and picks me up in a bear hug. “You smell like coconuts.” He breathes me in, brushing his lips tenderly against my neck. “I don’t like saying good-bye.” He looks down at me. “Have fun at the premiere. Don’t check out all those actors.”

  “They have nothing on my boy.” He looks sad. “Nobody could ever swoon me like you do,” I say, reassuring him. As we start to walk away, Jace smacks my butt. “Ouch!” I yelp. He gives me a sideways glance.

  “You know that didn’t hurt, pretty girl,” he says. I give him my trademark smile he loves.

  “What are you doing this weekend?” I ask him as he walks me to my mom’s car.

  He briefly hesitates and says, “I don’t have anything going on.” He pulls his hair, which is a sure sign of frustration. I’ve noticed his mannerisms over the years. “You’re being secretive.”

  “Why do you say that?” he says as we reach the car.

  “I don’t know. You pulled your hair. You usually do that when you’re heavy in thought or upset.”

  “The only thing I’m heavy in thought about is you being at some big-shot movie premiere with all those Hollywood boys staring at you.” I roll my eyes playfully. “I will never keep secrets from you, Shay. I’m just trying to make things happen.” I nod my head. “Give me your lips, baby.”

  When our lips part, I offer to take him home, already knowing he won’t let me. He never does. My mom comes out of the center and walks toward the car. Jace smiles at me, putting distance between us. “See you later, Jace,” Mom says.

  He gives her a hug and silently mouths over her shoulder, “I love you, baby.” Mom gets in the passenger seat. I blow him a kiss and get into the car. My mom lets me drive everywhere. She wants me super comfortable when I get my license.

  “Do you need a ride home, Jace?” Mom asks, rolling her window down.

  “No, thank you,” he answers while looking at me with a tilt of his head. I huff a breath quietly.

  I’ve always been told I have a soft voice, and I don’t know if because of that, people have the impression that I’m fragile or maybe that I’m weak. You know, like the sweet, quiet girl that you have to be careful with. I can see how first impressions might categorize me in that way, but Jace knows me. I’m still the girl that had no problem getting in the middle of a huddle full of guys and making my presence known. So why he feels so adamant that I can’t be around certain things baffles me. I hate that Jace won’t let me in. He gives me every piece of his heart, but he holds me at arm’s length with that part of him. He doesn’t realize that he does keep secrets from me. I don’t know his mom or where he lives. He acts like I can’t handle his reality, and it frustrates me.

  He watches me leave the parking lot. I look in my rearview mirror, like I always do, as he stands there with his arms crossed. His eyes never leave Mom’s car. “You know, Shay, that boy can’t keep his eyes off you.” I glance at my mom as she smiles.

  “Do you remember how you felt when you and Dad were young?”

  “Of course, I do,” she answers. I look in the side mirror, and Jace is long gone. The center is completely out of sight.

  Emptiness fills me.

  I’m lost in thought when I hear Mom say, “Just for the record, Shay, I still feel the same way about your dad as I did when we first dated. My feelings have only deepened over the years. When I look at him now, I see the young guy I fell in love with. I see the man that has taken care of me, that has given me the most beautiful children. I love him more as the years go on.”

  “I can’t imagine loving Jace more than I do right now. My heart would probably burst open,” I say as Mom laughs.

  “You’d be surprised how much your heart can take.”

  Shrugging my shoulders, I say, “I’m sure you’re right. I just love him so much already.”

  “DAD, WHAT TIME do we have to be there tonight?”

  “I have to check the itinerary,” he yells over Mom blow-drying her hair. “I think it’s around six.”

  Tonight is Beau’s red carpet premiere for his first movie. Jules’ dad got the rights, and it’s going to be the biggest, hottest new franchise. Beau is playing the lead role. Yikes, I’m so excited for him!

  It’s crazy how it all happened for Beau. It’s like he was the stud football player one day, and the next, the biggest Hollywood heartthrob in the world. That’s his story to tell, but I will say, he’s had his struggles, but he’s come to terms with his new life of flashbulbs and screaming girls.

  The whole family is going, and we are meeting up with Jules’ family, too. I wish Jace could be here with me to see how exciting this is, but we are limited on how many people are allowed to attend the premiere. So, it’s reserved for family. I can’t wait to tell him all about it. He said to snap a lot of pictures for him to see.

  Limos line Hollywood Boulevard, waiting to get dropped off at the Chinese Theater. “This is so exciting,” Mom says to Dad, who presses a kiss to her cheek.

  “Where’s Beau?” Tristan asks, looking behind us to see another limo.

  “He’s probably in the one in front of us.” She looks out her window as the limo in front of us comes to a stop. She’s right, because Beau gets out of the car followed b
y his co-star.

  “Wow, she is so pretty,” Tatum says.

  “Aw, Beau looks so handsome,” Mom beams. He does. He really looks happy. A little nervous, but happy.

  We watch Beau and his leading co-star, Mila, walk over to the fans. The screams are deafening. I wonder what Beau is thinking, as they repeatedly say his name while trying to get a picture with him. Girls are actually crying. That’s just so weird.

  I mean, it’s just Beau, but to them, it’s the character in their beloved book series. I will admit, it’s pretty cool. The ushers open our limo door. The cameras flash brightly, focusing on what stars are walking the red carpet next. Once they see we’re not part of the cast, no one pays any attention to us. We make our way down the red carpet to the foyer of the theater. Right away, I see Jules. She waves me over.

  “This is crazy, right?” she says animatedly.

  “Totally. Have you seen Beau yet?” I ask. She gives me a sour lemon face. I don’t know why, but Jules has always had a tough exterior with Beau. My brother is five years older than us, but he’s always been around, never missing events that I’ve been in. He even tries to come see me cheer when he has time. And, that’s not the easiest event of mine to watch. Football holds a special place to him, and I know he has a hard time watching and not playing. He really is the best big brother, but Jules always rolls her eyes around him. I think she just wishes she had an older brother like him. Whatever. Tonight, she better play nice with him.

  “Yeah, I saw him. Mila can’t stop staring at him. She looks pathetic.”

  “Jules! Someone might hear you.”

  “Shay, no one is listening to us, but seriously, she is all over him. I’m sure people think they’re dating.”

  “Well, they do play lovers in this movie. The first book is all about the love story, but if you’ve read the whole series, you find out really quickly that doesn’t last. Of course, there has to be the big separation. You know how authors love to make us sweat it out. Will they or won’t they get back together? Blah… blah…. blah… I can’t stand all that angst.”

  Jules gives me an “I’m not stupid look,” with air quotes, I might add. “Duh, I know that. I’m the one that told you about this series,” she says, feisty.

  “Okay, just tone it down,” I warn her. She rolls her eyes at me and laughs.

  I busy myself by taking lots of pictures with my phone. It’s crazy with the cameras and the flashes going off. I wonder what Jace would think of this. God, I wish he were here. I’m going to make sure he sees everything. I snap a picture of Jules. She really looks quite beautiful. Of course, her dress is to die for. I take a full body shot, so she can see how pretty she looks in her bright red dress and cream shoes, and then I zoom in to get a close-up of her face. She’s looking rather steadily at someone, so I take the phone away from my face to get a glimpse, seeing if it’s another one of the actors making their way on the carpet.

  She’s starry-eyed at my brother.

  Yes, she’s definitely staring at Beau. I snap the blackmail shot to bring up at a later time when I know she’s going to say how much she can’t stand him. I get all giddy inside just thinking about her face and the stutter that will most likely come out of her mouth when she goes in full denial crisis mode.

  Interesting. For someone that can’t stand him, she sure can’t stop staring at him. This is just perfection. She turns to me, and I put my phone down quickly. “Were you just taking a picture of me?”

  “Maybe.” I give her a pouty mouth. She rolls her eyes.

  “You better have taken a good one. Let me see it so I can approve it.” She tries to grab my phone.

  “Nope, I promise it’s good.”

  “Shay, don’t you mess with me. If I look funky, you better not post it.”

  I give her a wide-eyed smile with my mouth open. “I would never do that to you.” One of the laws of the best friend sisterhood is picture approval before posting. I’m not posting this one; this is going into the blackmail picture vault.

  “Beau doesn’t look good with his hair blond,” she whispers over her perfectly tanned shoulder.

  “It’s not blond. It’s just a really light ashy brown. He had to have it like the character described in the book.”

  “Fine. I’m just saying he looks better with his natural dark hair,” she says while busying herself with her nails. “You don’t think he is actually dating her, do you?”

  “I don’t know, Jules,” I say, annoyed. “Does it matter? He’s just having fun. I know my brother’s heart. When he finally brings a girl home, which he never has, then I will give him the twenty questions.”

  “I… just… I don’t think she’s good enough for him. She seems like a media whore.”

  “Aw, Jules, did you find a soft spot for Beau?”

  “No! I’m just saying.”

  I know what she’s saying, because it’s written all over her face. She will never admit it, but she’s secretly crushing on Beau.

  Our families gather together, and we take lots of pictures. Beau and Mila walk in with the rest of the cast and make their way into the theater. Beau comes up to my parents, giving them both a quick hug. After telling us he hopes we enjoy the movie, he walks away to take his seat. He looks back at Jules and me, who have walked ahead of the others. “You both look beautiful tonight. See you after the movie.” His eyes linger on Jules. As I look up, her cheeks are bright red. Beau walks away with Mila, who is giving us a dirty look, by his side.

  “Someone looks a little flushed.”

  She looks at me, wide-eyed. “Aren’t you flushed, too? It’s hot in here.”

  “That’s not the kind of flushed I mean, and you know it.”

  “Oh, shut up, Shay. Just because you’re so in love doesn’t mean everyone else is, too, and I’m sure the heck not in love with your brother. Yuck, I can’t stand his arrogant ass.”

  “Keep telling yourself that, Jules,” I mumble to myself.

  WHILE SHAY IS at her brother’s premiere, I’m working at the motorcycle repair shop. She doesn’t know, but I’ve been working here for a while now after school and on the weekends. I want to tell her I’m working toward finding a way to come to her house and see her, but I don’t know how long it will take me to afford my own transportation. I told Henry, the owner, I needed off every Wednesday. That was the only day I had a conflict. Henry has been good to me. After the first week I worked, he asked me for my cell phone number in case he needed to reach me. Because he runs his shop alone, he wanted to be able to get in touch with me if he closed for a day. When I told him I couldn’t afford a phone, he scratched the back of his balding head and said if I worked hard and proved I was responsible, he would help me get one. I think he felt sorry for me.

  Now that I’ve proven myself to Henry, that day is almost here. We will go Monday to pick out a basic phone for texting, but no Internet. I couldn’t care less about social media; I just want to be able to text and talk to Shay. I can’t wait to hear that pretty voice on the phone for the first time. The bill will go to Henry’s house, and the payment will come out of my check.

  Getting home pretty late, I walk into the dark apartment that smells like a pack of stale cigarettes. I hate the thought that I might smell like that around Shay. The bright clock on the oven reads ten thirty. The movie must be over, and Shay is probably at some after party. I hope she’s having fun. I told her to take pictures, and knowing her, she’s taking plenty. I hate the thought of anyone else looking at her. I know how guys think. I also know my girl’s heart, which belongs to me.

  To take my mind off who might be ogling my girl, I meet up with Landon, and we hang out at his apartment for a while. He lives a few miles away from me in a nicer apartment than mine. His neighborhood is still ghetto-like, but his parents are really cool and care a lot about him.

  Not like my home life.

  When I return home, I check the refrigerator, but as usual, there’s not much to eat. I would love one of Shay’s peanut bu
tter and jelly sandwiches right now, but that’s not happening. Instead, I settle for a bowl of cereal. Luckily, I picked up a box a couple of days ago on my way home from the garage.

  As I sit eating, I think about Shay’s sixteenth birthday. She’s really excited about it, and I can’t wait to give her the present I’ve been working for.

  I WAKE UP early to find my mom passed out cold on the couch. It’s a normal occurrence, so I don’t think much of it. She looks like she’s barely breathing, but I’m so used to it I walk away. I turn back and look at her. She looks like a junkie. I really don’t know if she’s ever done those types of drugs, but she looks like it. Honestly, she looks like a shell of a person. She’s here, but she’s not. I just wish we had more of a relationship, because I would like to get to know her. No one starts out this way, and it makes me wonder how her life was before. Gently moving the hair that is covering her face, I touch her cheek, taking in my mother. That’s when I see the white drool coming out of her mouth.

  “Mom!” I shake her, but she doesn’t move. I try again. “Mom!” I panic.

  Nothing.

  I need to call an ambulance, but I don’t have a fucking phone yet. I leave Mom on the couch, run outside, and yell for anyone to help me. For the first time, no one is outside. I start knocking on doors, and thankfully, a little old lady that lives a few doors down from us answers. I’m out of breath and in total panic mode. “Do you have a cell phone? I need to call an ambulance.” She nods her head and turns back into her house. She’s walking slowly while I’m grinding my teeth waiting for her. Finally, she comes back with her phone, and I call 911. When I run back to my apartment, I see my mom still lying on the couch. Checking her pulse, I feel a faint one.

  Shit.

  I’m freaking out. This is the first time I’ve called an ambulance, but I’m afraid if I hadn’t, something would’ve happened that I don’t want on my conscience. When we get to the hospital, Mom is admitted. Then the twenty questions start. I’m actually nervous. I’m a minor and don’t want Child Services involved.