Between a Rock and a Hard Place

by Bohannon, Hipsy

  “It was red, trust me, I remember.” Cole informed, with a sure node. “So, she saunters up to me, looking like every man's dream, holding a platter in hand, and looking good and damn proud of herself. My mouth is watering, and at this point, it had nothing to do with whatever was on that platter, she was placing down in front of me.”

  “Gross,” T.J. scoffed, from his place next to Cole.

  “Alright, alright, moving on. So, slowly, she removes the lid, like something right out of a magic act. And what I found, definitely had me scratching my head. I mean, the great Houdini had never even pulled off a trick like this.”

  “It wasn’t a trick, you prick. It was ignorance on my part, is all.” Penny defended.

  “What was on the platter? I’m guessing it wasn’t Tuna steak, huh?” T.J. questioned, looking from his mother to Cole and back again.

  “Well, technically, it was Tuna steak. As in, she had gone out and bought a T-bone steak, fried it up with some butter and garlic powder, and then, proceeded to slice open a can of tuna fish and plop it right on the very top of that prime cut of beef.”

  “Tuna steak, oh my God, mom, you didn’t… did you?”

  “Oh, but I did, and what was ever worse, is that your good buddy Cole, over there, didn’t even bother to tell me that I had messed it up.”

  “Wait, you actually ate it?” T.J. questioned, looking disgusted. “Every, damn, bite of it! I even asked her if she had seconds.”

  Cole nodded, sounding as if he should get a medal of courage for his selfless act.

  “So, wait, when did you finally realize it wasn’t right?” T.J. questioned, his eyes darting over to his mother.

  “Oh, that wasn’t until a couple weeks later when Cole decided to take me out for dinner.”

  “A very expensive dinner I might add, but not the point.” Cole interjected.

  “No, that’s not the point, the point is, he ordered his stupid Tuna steak and when they brought it to the table…,”

  “When they brought it to the table, your mother looked like she had swallowed a frog. Her eyes zoned in on my tasty Tuna and her face turned the cutest shade of red I had ever seen.”

  “Cute my ass, I didn’t talk to him for three days straight after that. I felt so stupid.” Penny informed with the shake of her head.

  “It wasn’t stupid my love, it was adorable, that’s what it was.” Cole corrected, finally turning in her direction for the first time. "Hold up, why is your hair a mess?" He questioned, taking in her messy locks. Instantly, his grin faded as he eyed her with an accusing look set on his features.

  "Oh no, you don’t. Stop trying to distract me with trips down memory lane and none of your business questions. Let’s get back to the topic of a certain little fishing trip you two took today.” Penny spoke up quick.

  "In our defense, we did mention that we might go fishing, this morning." T.J. defended with a glance over at Cole.

  "Why is your shirt wet? I can see your bra right through it, no joke. Why is that, why are you wet?" Cole ignored them both, to continue on with his questions about Penny’s personal state of messiness.

  "Yes, but I assumed when you said, ‘fishing’, that you were going to a pond, or a lake or, I don’t know, anywhere you would go to catch normal fish.”

  “What’s normal fish? Aren’t they all just fish when you break it down?” T.J. countered.

  “For real though, why are you wet?” Cole brought up again.

  “Normal, as in not a five hundred pound killing machine." Penny corrected, ignoring Cole's question as she reached into the fridge for a bottle of water. What she found instead, was her favorite kind of red wine. The thoughtful little jerk, had really gone all out with this little dinner, it appeared. Quickly she grabbed it, already in search of the bottle opener.

  "It wasn't even close to five-hundred pounds mom, it was what, three-forty-five, tops?" T.J. corrected, glancing again at Cole for confirmation.

  "Three-sixty-eight actually, but that's neither here, nor there.” Cole pointed out, snagging the wine bottle from Penny before making his way over to the drawer by the stove to fetch the bottle opener.

  “Ya, see, that’s a totally normal sized fish. Think about it mom, the ocean is filled with much larger fish then that. I would say, catching one of those, would be considered as not normal. What we did today, was pretty run of the mill, normal fishing trip, stuff.” T.J. said in his ‘too smart for his own good’ tone.

  He was gonna grow up to be a politician, Penny was sure of it. He had a wonderful way of bending the truth to work to his own advantage.

  “Oh, yes, you’re right. I guess I should just be glad there isn’t a whale in my kitchen sink, huh?” Penny scoffed with the roll of her eyes as Cole handed her the glass of wine he had poured for her.

  “Why are your cheeks so red, were you in the sun today?” Why would you do that, you hate the sun. You're like a fucking vampire." Cole continued as he leaned across the counter, sniffing her like a bloodhound on a trail. "You smell like the ocean. Why were you at the ocean; you hate the ocean.”

  “I, do not hate the ocean.” Penny mumbled, sipping her wine. “Yes, you do. You always bitch that you end up with sand in your clam. Did, sand, get in your clam today? Shame on you if it did, you just met that sand, that’s probably dirty sand, you’re a dirty girl if that’s true. Is it true, did you let, sand, get all up in your clam?” Cole pried, earning him a swat from Penny as he crossed his arms over his chest, eyeing her like the disappointed father of a child who had stayed out past their curfew.

  "How about, if you don’t worry yourself when it comes to my clam and what I let ‘get all up in there’?” Penny said, using finger quotations just to be a child about it.

  "Here’s an idea, how about, you, start worrying about what you put up in there. You wouldn’t want it to start smelling fishy, now, would you? Nobody likes a fishy smelling clam, Penny Lane, trust me.”

  The pair smirked at one another with raised brows as the tension began to fill the room. This always seemed to happen. One minute they were having a friendly chat and the next they were at each other's throats. Only they didn’t scream and yell, instead, they did this odd thing, where their tones got way too chipper, and they started throwing, not so playful daggers at one another with their eyes, all while smiling sick little grins. It was freaking weird and T.J. hated it. Sometimes they were so childish when they were trying to argue in front of him.

  "How about, we stop referring to my mom's vagina as a clam? Actually, let’s just stop referring to it at all. That would be great! Christ people, I'm eleven, I'm not retarded. I know what you’re talking about." T.J. Scoffed, turning his attention back to the stove.

  “Lords name!” Cole piped up.

  “And don’t say retarded, that’s a terrible word.” Penny chimed in.

  "Oh, sure, finally something you two can do together, without bickering like two-year olds. Yell at me, that’s just great!" T.J. threw over his shoulder, making them both let out a laugh as they broke their intense stare down competition.

  "So, what smells so good?” Penny questioned, leaning over her son's shoulder to take a gander.

  "A seafood dinner that’s guaranteed to knock the sand right out of your clam… sorry buddy." Cole apologized with a smirk, reaching over to ruffle up T.J.’s hair.

  "Awesome, I'm starved! If I promise to take it fast, do I have time for a quick shower?” Penny threw the question over her shoulder, already making her way down the hall toward the bathroom

  "Wait, why are you hungry? You were just on a date, didn't he, at least, take you out to eat?"

  "No, not really, we just had a snack so…," Penny admitted, not giving it a second thought. She should have known better, though.

  "A snack? As in, he didn't take you to lunch… or dinner. As in, he's a broke joke. Oh shit, he is, isn’t he? That’s why you smell like the beach because that’s where he took you!” Cole laughed out. Handing the spatula over to T.J. to make his
way down the hall, following after her. “You do realize, that's like the official, broke joke date, right?"

  "And, what’s so wrong with the beach? If I remember correctly, you took me down to the river on our first date, it’s pretty much the exact same thing." Penny reminded, pulling off her shirt as she ducked into the bathroom.

  Following her in, Cole came to lean up against the sink, arms crossed over his bare chest.

  "Exactly, I was broke as fuck, back then. There’s nothing wrong with the beach, it's just free and if he didn't take you to lunch, or dinner, and you went to a beach, that's three things he didn't pay for, which means, he's a broke joke." Cole informed with a shrug as Penny slipped off her shorts.

  "He did bring awesome snacks, though, and besides, I like that we went to the beach; I hadn’t been, in forever." She defended, holding on to his shoulder for balance as she slipped off her panties.

  "And, who’s fault is that? I ask you to go to the beach, at least once a month, with me and little man." He reminded as she turned around, holding her hair up so he could unhook her bra.

  "No, you ask me to go speed boating with you, that's not the same thing. I can’t even swim that well. No way, do I want to go out in the middle of the ocean and go three-hundred miles an hour on a death machine with you two. Fuck that shit." She said with the shake of her head, leaning over to start up the shower.

  Cole licked his lips, enjoying the site of her tight ass as she bent over to mess with the faucet.

  "Alright, moving on. What does broke boy drive? Answer me that.” He pried, watching her every move as she stepped into the shower, before pulling over the curtain, and blocking his view. Quickly, he snagged it back open, so that they could continue their conversation, or more so, his interrogation of her date.

  "He drives a bike," Penny informed in a dreamy tone as she lathered up her long golden locks.

  "A fucking bicycle, are you kidding me with this shit?" Cole scoffed, turning around to look at his reflection in the mirror. He flexed his arms, making a smirk rip across his cocky features, as he enjoyed his own personal gun show.

  "No asshole, he drives a motorcycle. It’s a sexy one, too." She smirked then spit as shampoo got into her mouth.

  "Oh, I see, so, poor biker trash, that’s awesome! Does he cook meth in his mom's basement, as well? Because those three things usually go together, just so you know.” He noted, grabbing a washcloth from under the sink.

  "Well, that’s very judgmental of you, just so you know.” She added, just before letting out a hiss as soap made it’s way into her eyes.

  "Over here, I gotcha," Cole soothed, reaching in to grip Penny’s chin, forcing her to hold still, long enough for him, to brush the terry cloth over her soap burned lids.

  "I'm sorry that your new boyfriend’s a meth addict, but, I don’t see how that makes me judgmental."

  "No, you thinking just because he owns a bike, that that must mean he's biker trash, who cooks meth in his mom's basement, is what makes you judgmental." She corrected as she finished up rinsing her hair.

  "Oh, that, well, I call it like I see it, but you’re right. He probably doesn't make meth.”

  “I know I’m right. For real Cole, where do you even come up with this shit?”

  “Yep, you’re right, he just uses it, because if he made the shit, he would have had enough drug sale money to take you out on a proper date.” Cole agreed, with a sure thing, smirk. "Turn around," he instructed, leaning in to snatch the luffa from Penny’s hand. She did as she was told, earning a free backwash from Cole’s talented hands.

  "I’m sorry, but you’re wrong this time. This guy, is the real deal, he’s funny and he’s sweet, and I'm not gonna let you ruin this for me,"

  "I, would never try to ruin anything, for you, my love.” Cole announced, sounding a little offended. “Besides, what's to ruin? He'll be gone soon anyway…, right?" Cole challenged, wrapping a towel around Penny’s body as she carefully stepped out of the shower.

  Cole had always been good at bath time, so attentive and caring. Than again, there were lots of things Cole was good at. It was some of those very things, that had Penny unwilling to set the past aside, and just acknowledge that she was still in love with the man. So much so that it hurt sometimes. Most of the time, actually. Times like know, when he was being so damn catering to her every need.

  Penny had to shake the thought away. She needed to get her head back in the game. This conversation wasn’t about her and Cole. That was all ancient history, Able, was happening right in the here and now.

  "Yep, very soon, and then, I can get back to being miserable, awesome!" She noted, sounding sadder than Cole would like to hear as she pushed passed him.

  Making her way out of the room wrapped in her towel, she left Cole, to shut off the shower. This time, he didn’t follow behind her, though. Instead, he made his way back to the kitchen. Where he found T.J. sitting their places at the table.

  "Hey buddy, leave mine empty. I'm gonna head out for the night." Cole informed, making his way to the couch to collect his things.

  "Why, we just made all this food?" T.J. questioned just as Penny made her way into the kitchen.

  She now was wrapped up tight in her bathrobe. She had no idea that the silky thing, had cost Cole a flat grand, at a specialty shop in Italy. All she knew, was, that it was comfortable and that her son had given it to her for a birthday, along with a handmade card, reminding her of how old she was getting. Both things had actually come from Cole, but it was much easier getting her gifts when she would actually accept them. No way, could she ever refuse anything from her darling only child. So, Cole used that to his own advantage when he found things in his travels that he really wanted her to have.

  "No worries little dude, your Ma, eats like a horse. You can give her my share.” Cole offered, patting T.J. on his shoulder, before turning his wounded attention, back to Penny. “Make sure you eat it, too. You still got a couple pounds to make up, don’t think I forgot.” Cole noted, looking at Penny with a stern look before turning and heading for the door.

  “Where are you running off to? I mean, um, we’ll see ya later.” Penny stumbled, realizing six words in that she had asked a question that she had no business knowing the answer to. Cole had nothing holding him here, he was free to come and go as he pleased, he had made that very clear, time and again.

  “I gotta go meet up with my buddy. He's only in town for a bit, and wanna hang with him before he heads out." He informed, walking over to mess up T.J.’s hair, in lieu of a hug goodbye. Passing by Penny, he landed a quick kiss on her cheek before making his way back over to the front door.

  "Cole!"

  Penny called out, making him still in his place, hoping she was gonna ask him to stay. Hell, even if it was just for dinner, or the night, or the rest of their lives, fuck, that would all be just fine with him. Turning in his place, his eyes locked on hers.

  "Leave the key,"

  Before reaching into his pocket Cole gave her a, ‘ya caught me’, grin.

  "Thank you," she sighed out as he tossed the key on the counter and made a B-line for the door.

  "Silly woman," he smirked, patting the spare set he still had lodged in his pocket.

  Chapter 10

  “Hey, I’m glad you called. I was bored as fuck over at the hotel." Able exclaimed, giving his friend a big hug, before taking a seat on the bar stool next to him. The bar they were currently in, was little more, than a hole in the wall. The only other patrons were three old dudes, who all looked as if they hadn’t left their bar stools, in a good thirty years, or more. Which made this the perfect kinda place for them to hang out. There was no one around to recognize them. Not a damn person in this place, gave two shits, about who they were or what they had starred in.

  Starring in shit was exactly how they had met. They both signed on to do a little Indie film, called Brothers In Murder, about five years back. No one ever expected the movie to go anywhere but it did. It ended up with a hu
ge cult following, spawning comic books, a T.V. show, that didn’t star them, and roles in the next two, Brothers In Murder movies. That was all great and whatever, but each of the men felt like the friendship that they had made on set was worth more than anything the movies could ever make them. It was rare you meet someone and just click. Especially since they were so different. Cole was a cocky, badass, ninja while Able was a shy and sensitive, artsy little fuck. Somehow, they had made it work though. They were way tighter than most brothers. They talked on the phone and visited one another whenever they got the chance.

  They had actually made a name for themselves when it came to being best friends. The whole world knew they were tight. The press followed them around whenever they were spotted together, snapping pics and asking about all the wild shit they had done. They were notorious for tearing the strip up, no matter where they went together. If Cole Conners and Able Grace were at your party, some crazy cool shit was about to pop off. People liked them as a team, they meshed well, and complimented one another, kinda like an old married couple.

  As for the bar they now sat in, Cole had a talent for finding places like it. Any town that they found themselves stuck in, he would find the exact same type of shitty little bar, located right smack dab in the middle of, no fucking where. Perfect for hiding out from fans and paparazzi.

  "I fucking missed ya, man! I'm gonna try to see ya as much as I can while you’re out here.”

  “Good deal, because I got a bunch of shit I wanna talk at ya about.” Able informed, looking every bit the little brother to their brotherly relationship. That’s how it was too, Cole was five years older than he was, and way freaking cooler. Which, always had Able looking up to him like he had idol worship for the man. As for Cole, he was big brother through and through, for the sensitive little weirdo that he called his best friend. He watched over him, making sure no one fucked with him. Able was certainly big enough to defend himself if push came to shove, but the man was a lover, not a fighter.