Abbie's Gift

by M. R. THOMAS

  When their astral beings were together, locked tightly in a unique embrace of passion, it felt that nothing could possibly separate them. Abbie believed she belonged in Peter’s arms, yet the fragility of her human countenance was a constant reminder that now they really were of different worlds, and she was choosing to live a part of her life in both.

  Despite being so content, she couldn’t help but wonder if Peter was really happy with this: did he get lonely? Does he want to move on to somewhere better? Is he sad when she’s gone? Was she holding him back?

  All these questions were becoming more urgent and she knew she had to face them somehow, but she was frightened at what the answers might be.

  Abbie became aware of her running body approaching the end of the beach from where she had started, so it was time to leave Peter’s embrace and return to herself. She would go back but felt that leaving his embrace was somehow unfair and unnecessary.

  She slowed her pace to walking for a few yards as she reached the sand dune path that would take her back to the village, and she rested for a few minutes before making her way up the dune path.

  As she approached the top she became aware again of the man in the beige coat standing in the clearing overlooking the beach. He smiled as he saw her; Abbie immediately felt self-conscious at being hot in her running gear, complete with woollen hat.

  What must I look like? She thought

  Abbie approached him as she crossed the clearing, and she noticed more clearly his handsome features and that he looked distinguished, with a real sense of presence, something often missing in younger people she thought. He was immaculately dressed, from head to toe; his black shoes shining even in this rugged terrain. He wore a smart shirt and tie under his coat, and was leaning against his old-fashioned walking stick with a large brass knob on top, the ebony wood shining as it caught the light.

  “Good morning, how are you today?” He asked.

  “Very well thank you, and you?”

  “Can’t complain” he smiled, “I love it here, so fresh and invigorating, makes you glad to be alive, don’t you think?”

  “Yes, of course” Abbie felt unsure what to say.

  “Are you on holiday?” He enquired.

  “For a few days, yes”.

  “Me too, I come here every year at this time. I love the transition from autumn to winter, the colours are truly fabulous. I’m staying in a rented cottage a few miles down the road, but I love to walk this headland, the finest countryside and coast I’ve ever seen. I walk for a few hours each day” he continued.

  Abbie smiled, “I’m staying in the village, it’s lovely here. I found this place by chance, rather lucky I think?”

  “Look” he said, “this may seem rather forward of me, but I will be fancying a bite to eat soon, it’s getting near lunchtime; would you like to join me in about an hour, in the village, the cafe’s rather good”.

  Abbie was startled at this suggestion.

  “Erm, oh”, she struggled, “thank you, I’d rather not thanks”.

  “That’s all right I’m just being friendly that’s all, not a lot of folks around to talk to at this time of year, no offence Miss...?”

  “Abbie, I’m Abbie”, she said.

  “Hello Abbie I’m Michael, how do you do”, he stretched out his hand in a greeting, which Abbie shook; to her surprise even through her glove his skin was cold to the touch.

  “Would you join me?” he asked again. “It would be nice to chat for a while. I won’t even offer to pay if it offends you”, he said, smiling.

  Abbie felt uneasy. “Thanks, but I was really hoping to be just spending time alone, thanks all the same”.

  “It’s fine, I understand completely” said Michael “you enjoy the rest of your day”.

  Michael smiled as he turned away from her, and as he walked Abbie again noticed his limp and how he leaned on his cane for support.

  Back at the caravan she showered and changed and then made herself some food; she was realising how these longer runs were making her very hungry. She listened to music as she ate, but her mind kept going back to Michael, his apparent kindness and sincerity and also – she had to admit - his handsome features. She wondered if she had offended him by not going to lunch; she hadn’t meant to be unkind, but she felt awkward.

  At mid-afternoon she went to the shop and bought a few supplies. The old man in the shop seemed pleased to see her, but Abbie thought he was only pretending to remember her; the blank expression on his face gave him away.

  She walked out of the shop, into the quiet village street, and decided to go to the cafe for some tea. As she entered the bell on the door chimed announcing her arrival, and the lady behind the counter looked up and smiled. The room was empty except for one table – Michael. He sat with his back to her but she recognised it was him as the beige overcoat was draped over the next chair.

  As she walked to the counter to order tea, she knew that he would see her.

  Awkward situation, she thought.

  “Hello” he began “I’m afraid you’re too late for lunch, but please join me if you wish”.

  Abbie was surprised he was still there, but she knew she couldn’t ignore him.

  Once she had her tea she sat at the table opposite him.

  “Have you eaten?” he enquired

  “Yes thanks, earlier this afternoon. I was just out for a walk so I thought I’d pop in for some tea. By the way, sorry about earlier, I didn’t mean to offend you”.

  “That’s fine, you don’t have to explain at all”.

  Abbie looked at him, and for a moment the thought passed through her mind that maybe she’d avoided having lunch with him as he was so attractive, and now sitting opposite him she couldn’t deny it. She found herself almost transfixed by his face; he looked like a gentle soul but yet seemed to have great inner strength and kindness.

  “I’m not too good with people at the moment” she said, “been through a difficult patch, not the best of company”.

  “I’m sorry to hear that” replied Michael.

  Abbie was waiting for the question ‘what happened?’ and she didn’t know how she would answer, but the question never came.

  “Life” Michael began “can be real bugger; you never know what hand you’re going to be dealt and often it never turns out as you expect does it? So I understand something of what you mean”.

  Abbie looked down at the table, unsure how to respond.

  Michael spoke again. “I am here alone, and I come here every year at this time, for the rest and beauty of this place, because this is the week that my wife, who is very poorly, goes into respite care. I look after her full time. I get some practical support but as it’s twenty-four hours a day seven days a week it’s exhausting, and I’m always there, always on call to her. Except this week of the year, this is the third year I’ve been here on my own. We used to come together, go walking and enjoy the place together, but now I have to come alone. She doesn’t mind at all and encourages me to enjoy this week, but in a way I hate myself for coming and leaving her. So you see, when I’m here the chance of some brief friendly chat is most welcome”.

  Abbie felt a bit dumbfounded and was lost for words,

  “I’m so sorry to hear that, I truly am, how awful for you.” At this point she looked up and noticed there were tears in his eyes.

  Abbie took a deep breath, “I’m here alone too. My fiancé died suddenly and unexpectedly a few weeks ago, and quite frankly my life fell apart. I came here by chance, just found it looking for somewhere to stay. I think the break from my normal surroundings has been good for me. As for getting my life back together, I’m convinced that I am, but some days seem far from it”.

  Michael smiled, “Your running is a stabilising factor in all this turmoil?”

  “Yes it has been, it really is.”

  “Good then, don’t stop doing it, keep it up and it will help you find your way to your future”.

  “Thank you”.

 
; “You know, I wish I could still run, but not with this hip, even fast walking isn’t quite on the cards some days. I keep mobile though that’s the main thing, rather like the tortoise and the hare, I have plenty of stamina.” he said, winking at her.

  Abbie smiled into her tea cup. Was he flirting with her?

  “Now, some more tea?” Said Michael.

  “No thanks” said Abbie “I’m fine.”

  A few minutes later Michael drained his cup and announced that he had to go, telephone calls to make, enquiries to be made back home and so on.

  “Thank you” he said “I hope to see you again soon, but if I don’t, enjoy the rest of your stay here.”

  Abbie was surprised in some ways that the conversation was ending so soon, considering she was now just beginning to relax a little.

  “Good bye” she said looking at him.

  Abbie sat for a few minutes alone. She became aware that the lady behind the counter was clearing up and wanting to close for the day, as the light outside was beginning to fade a little in the late afternoon. She fastened her coat and went outside, and thought of Michael making his way to the next village, but she didn’t remember the sound of a car moving off and there didn’t seem to be anyone walking up the road on the hill heading out of the village. I must have stayed longer than I thought in the café, she decided, so he had a head start, and she hurried back to the security of her caravan in the increasingly chilly afternoon air without giving him a second thought.

  As Abbie went down the path to the caravan, she again found Simon and Jess in the garden playing together.

  “Evening, had a good day?” said Simon.

  “Yes thanks, restful, well it was after the ten mile run”.

  “You did that again, today?”

  Abbie nodded.

  “Well, very well done.”

  “So are you off tomorrow or staying?” asked Simon, “it’s no problem if you choose to stay, the caravan’s not booked up.”

  “I’m staying tomorrow, enjoying it too much to go home just yet, if that’s Ok?”

  “Of course it is, it’s what we agreed, so it’s fine.”

  ………………………………………………………..

  Later on in the warmth of the caravan and alone with her thoughts, listening to some classical music on her MP3, Abbie remembered Peter’s heart had been heavy, and she knew she would have to talk to him.

  It was also a few days now since the odd creature had visited her, and it had not come to her since she’d been in the caravan. It seemed like a bad dream and distant memory - did it really happen? Where was he now? There had recently been no sense of his presence or even any remote possible sightings, and Abbie was beginning to believe that none of it had really happened at all.

  Michael also somehow made his way into her thoughts; a kind person, seeking some friendship. She felt she had let this fellow human being down, and the guilt returned.

  Abbie admitted to herself that as an older man he was attractive; he looked distinguished and possibly wealthy too, definitely caring. But, she thought suddenly with a jolt, could she ever look at anyone else again in that way?

  To everyone else in the world she was single and free to do as she pleased, but she had Peter, albeit not physically, and although their spiritual union was both powerful and strong, could that last indefinitely? She hated to think like that, but in some way the cold and objective reality of her situation was filtering through the layers of her psyche, and into the reality of her normal life and her physical needs as a woman.

  Abbie admitted to herself that she missed the physical aspect of a body close to hers; after all, humans need touch don’t they? She thought. People generally need others; some choose to be alone, but Abbie knew that sort of life was not for her, she was not destined for a single existence, she never had been.

  As she sat and watched the deep orange glow of the gas fire, feeling its warmth radiate towards her, she wondered about Michael, surely a man with needs and desires; how did he manage with a wife to care for? Did he have those needs met elsewhere?

  Abbie realised that despite the huge sense of fulfilment and ecstasy she experienced with Peter, she did miss the human, physical contact of their union. Astrally it was different, it was unique, but it was not physical and this frustrated her. Maybe this physical - astral ambivalence was the cause of her feeling so unsettled in her life.

  She was getting very warm, uncomfortably so, the small room getting quite stuffy, the air heavy with heat.

  Abbie peered out of the curtains: all was still outside, the sky looked clear, and she felt a sudden desire to go outside and feel the coolness of the air on her skin. She stood up and opened the caravan door, the chill immediately hitting her. All was dark, and looking in the direction of the nearby house there were no lights shining.

  She took off her pyjamas, put on her trainers, and stepped naked out of the door and into the night, the coolness of the air making her breath rise up in front of her. Looking up she could see the sky was a mass of millions of stars, some so distant, others nearer, their light a beauty and mystery to behold.

  As a girl, Abbie remembered studying the constellations, and she looked up to see if she could recognise any of them now. After a while her eyes were drawn to seven stars in formation, which realistically were probably spread out over hundreds if not thousands of miles. She knew what this was; it was the constellation of the Great Bear. She smiled to herself; recognising this felt good, it felt familiar. For a while she couldn’t avert her gaze from it, and felt drawn to it, without understanding why.

  Her body was cooling rapidly but she didn’t shiver. She walked to the edge of the caravan in the opposite way from the entrance.

  She had not seen it before: another grassy path that went through an opening in the hedge on the other side of the caravan.

  Abbie felt her heartbeat rise in her chest; this felt amazing and exhilarating so she decided to go for a walk. Carefully into the darkness, she progressed with her hands stretched out in front of her as she passed through the hedge. Once on the other side she could make out a clearing that seemed to lead into a large open field boarded by trees and shrubs, and she noticed a pathway cut through the grass across the open space.

  She walked forward, completely at peace and feeling free, her body at one with nature.

  Abbie glanced around continually; there was nothing except her and the glittering heavens. To her surprise, the path rose up quite steeply across the field, more than she was expecting. Looking back, she could see over the hedges that protected the caravan, into the garden and beyond and to the house, all was still in darkness.

  She continued on until the gap where she had come through in the hedge was hardly visible. She stopped and glanced upwards at the heavens; even on such a bright night the moon was nowhere to be seen. Where was it, she thought?

  Her body and her skin felt vibrant, alive and sensual. She ran her hands down her arms and across her buttocks and thighs, over her abdomen and for a few moments she held her breasts together; she rapidly felt herself becoming highly aroused and wet, and she touched herself, immediately heightening her pleasure.

  Somehow, Abbie couldn’t really sense the cold air, not now, it seemed irrelevant to her. She continued to touch and to probe herself; the heat inside her body rapidly began filling her head completely. Her erect nipples became more sensitive with each glancing touch of her hand. The sensations grew stronger as she pressed her hand harder against herself, and her pleasure grew in waves until it exploded within her, its sensual ripples coursing across her body. It was so powerful and intense that for a moment she thought she might in fact topple over.

  When she was able to bring herself together again she breathed deeply, totally satisfied with her experience. She noticed that her fingers were wet, and she licked them, tasting her own saltiness and desire.

  When her heart rate and breathing had returned to normal levels,

  Abbie made her
way down the field towards the caravan. Once on the small enclosed path behind the hedges that shielded the caravan, she again stopped to glance up at the stars and consider the wonders that they held.

  She didn’t notice that no more than a few metres away from her and through a small gap in the hedge, she had been observed walking back to the caravan naked. Seeing someone as beautiful and lovely as Abbie in the flesh had been a thrill, even though she was only half-glimpsed in the starlight; it had been real, unexpected and satisfying.

  Once she had gone inside the caravan and closed the door, Simon quietly returned to the house.

  In the field behind the caravan in the pitch darkness, Asmodeus crouched low to the ground at the spot where he had observed Abbie standing naked. He had seen her from a distance and watched her without her being aware of his presence. He used his power of smell to home in onto the scent that her juices had left on the grass. Bending and sniffing until he found the moisture that he knew was uniquely hers, he used the moist lubricating fluid on his fingers to rub his erect penis until he came, powerfully and forcefully, whilst thinking of her beauty and trim figure of unblemished flesh. After he had pleasured himself, his member remained engorged, ready for the next opportunity.

  Asmodeus too has seen Simon; he could see all things in the night, and the darkness was no obstacle for him. He now perceived Simon a barrier, rather than a threat to him getting what he wanted. As a fellow human, Simon was after all closer in physical being to Abbie than he could ever be. He considered stopping Simon permanently, as he had done to many men in times past who seemed to get in his way.

  Abbie settled under the bed clothes. The fire was off, and the room had cooled becoming more comfortable. Abbie drifted off into sleep, physically fulfilled yet exhausted.