Mail Order Bride: 9 Book Boxed set : 9 Brides for 9 Cowboys: CLEAN Western Historical Romance Series Bundle

by Faye Sonja

  She cast a glance at Jason who had come out of his world long enough to take her other hand, and a pensive look never left his face. She was sure that he could read the emotion of every line written across hers, and he could see into her soul. His gaze was unnervingly penetrating and it only got more so as time passed. She didn’t mind it at all, in fact she welcomed it. It was the first time she had ever dated anyone she thought could see her soul. It was warm yet disconcerting at the same time, a refreshing uncertainty.

  His gaze was more caring and inviting. To be below it was to feel you had a safe harbor to spill your soul, and it was something she had come to enjoy, look forward to and even rely on when things were unsure. It was then she realized how much they had grown together in the last couple weeks that they had been a part of each other’s life.

  Was it love she felt for him? She wasn’t sure it was just yet but she knew she cared enough for this trip to be important. She wondered what Nathan’s reaction would be, and how he could not have known about Jason.

  She had never thought that one day his father would walk into their lives and threaten everything she had built with Nathan from scratch. She hadn’t even known she had been building it really. She had just been there as his friend. Thinking about it now, she knew that the older man the brothers called Cain, had walked in with danger and demise at every turn. Thinking about it even more, she knew that he could threaten the peace they had now. Would she be able to protect them?

  Without a doubt.

  She could feel a headache coming on and they had several more miles to go. That was alright with her. It helped to pass the time as she thought about what it would be like when Alex, Aunt May and Nathan found out about the surprise she was bringing home. She took a deep, steadying breath and closed her eyes for a moment. When she opened them Jason was staring at her, so she looked away with a smile and counted the minutes as they passed by.

  “Your choice is clear,” Jason said to her breaking the silence moments later. Kate turned her attention away from the thoughts of the festivities she was hoping to come.

  “What choice is that?” she asked.

  “I come with so many demons I am wrestling within myself. That is never something I would want my wife to have to go through. So you have a clear choice. You can choose to go back to your life as you know it and eventually I am sure a man with more riches and far less problems will come along. You don’t even have to tell Nathan about me if you don’t want to, and I will go back to my life.”

  “Why do you think those are my options?”

  He smiled at her, no doubt suffering from the inability to explain his choice of words, though she was almost certain he said them out of fear of rejection. “Because I might not be worth it after all.”

  Kate turned her head in shock to look at his daring face staring back at her. The man did not so much as flinch under her gaze, and as the carriage made its way down through the woods she turned her head back to him with a smile, trying her hardest to contain her shock. She said nothing else to him for she was certain that nothing she said to him would make him feel at ease so they rode the remaining miles in silence and let their thoughts consume them. When they finally pulled up to Nathan’s mansion, he was there to receive them at the front with the same excited grin he always wore.

  “I knew you couldn’t stay away!” Nathan squealed like a child and ran down the stairs lifting her into his arms and spinning her. “Welcome home.”

  Alex and Aunt May were next; no doubt the little baby was fast asleep.

  “And I see you brought us more people for the party,” Aunt May said with a smile turning to Jason. He froze on the spot as she gently took his arm and pulled him forward.

  “This is Jason,” she introduced him blushing as she did. It was when she looked from him to Nathan in the next couple seconds that passed that her breath left her chest in a sudden gush. The resemblance between them was undeniable. How she hadn’t seen it until then was beyond her.

  “Nice to meet you, Jason,” Alex said stepping forward, breaking the tense moment with a hug. Nathan’s eyes narrowed in the protective way she had expected, but when Michael broke out of the carriage in a skinny package of excitement nearly causing Aunt May a heart attack, all seriousness disappeared.

  “This house is huge!” he exclaimed as he lifted his eyes to the structure before him.

  “Yes,” Aunt May said. “Lots of space for all the children that will one day live here.”

  The twinkle in Michael’s eyes said the subliminal invitation wasn’t lost on him. Kate had definitely grown quite fond of the little guy...

  “Doesn’t Jason talk?” Nathan asked her suspiciously.

  She jammed an elbow in his side. “He is just a little overwhelmed. Give him a moment.”

  “Why is he overwhelmed?” Nathan lifted a confused brow at her explanation. Hasn’t he ever met people before?”

  By their side Michael giggled and she fixed him with a glare that stopped the sound in his throat. “There is something we have to tell you,” she told him, but before she could get the words out Aunt May was all but shoving them up the stairs and to the party gathered at the back of the house. All her old friends and even Leo who she was dating shortly before she had left to go meet Jason was there. He wrapped her in a hug that lasted a little too long but had the good senses to let her go when he saw Jason making his way towards them.

  “A serious one, isn’t he?” Nathan said after all the hugs and congratulations were had. She turned to see his gaze following Jason who stayed as far away as he could from the dancing crowd. Alex was by his side trying to coax him out into the middle to test the way his legs moved, but Jason was having none of that.

  “He isn’t, it is just everything...” her words trailed off for she had no clue how she was going to break the secret she was carrying with her.

  “Everything okay?” Nathan asked her, and this time there was none of the usual playfulness in his voice.

  She pulled him into the kitchen. “Sit!” she ordered.

  “I think I will stand.”

  “Sit,” she ordered again. “Trust me you are going to want to.”

  He shook his head. “I think I will stand. Makes it easier for me to walk out that door and clobber that man of yours into oblivion had he done something wrong.”

  She sighed knowing he was as serious as a judge. “He is perfect, but there is something you should know. And I have no idea how to tell you without causing you a heart attack so I am just going to say it.”

  “Stop the rambling Kate. You are making me nervous.”

  “He is your brother,” she watched the confusion and then shock spread across his face. “Jason is your brother. The man who came here, shot Aunt May and then took you from us for six months? Well, that man is his father, too.”

  Nathan took a seat at the kitchen table as all the color drained from his face. “If this is a joke, it isn’t funny.”

  She rushed to him bending before him. “Would I ever play such a cruel joke on you?”

  They gazed into each other’s eyes, him searching for something that said her words were not true and she was searching for a hint of anger or the forgiveness she was hoping he could give her for having brought Jason into his life.”

  But after a few difficult seconds had passed he looked pass her and outside to where the setting sun casted fading shadows across Jason’s face, haunted by the demons he spoke of.

  “I thought he was dead,” Nathan finally said.

  “What?” she asked shocked.

  “I thought he had died,” Nathan said, but this time with a slow smile. “I thought we lost him to the fever when he was just a year old. That is what my father always told me. Thank you for bringing him back to me.”

  Kate could not believe the words she was hearing, and before she could get more clarification Nathan was walking out the door towards Jason whom he pulled into his arms for a close hug. Jason stared at her shocked and stiff as Natha
n held him.

  “Our father told me you had died as a baby,” Nathan said and for the first time in years she watched her best friend cry.” “I thought you died.”

  Jason’s face softened but no words came from his lips. Kate knew he had no words for the moment, but Alex and aunt May’s smiles were enough to coax one out of him, and just like that his worries of rejection had faded. This was more than even she had expected, but she could never ask for anything more. Nathan eased him away and reached for her.

  “Thank you Kate,” he whispered in her hair. “Thank you for bringing him back to me.”

  She had no words either for in all the years she had known him, he had never once mentioned having a brother who had died, and she wasn’t sure how to take that. They moved to the grassy area and the festive ambiance was something that Kate tried hard to get into but couldn’t escape her anxiety. Well it was not really a problem because she was more than happy to be back around the people who made her happy. Michael danced with Nathan’s little son who had woken from all the festive clambering happening outside. Alex was deep in conversation with Jason who had found his tongue. Nathan sat looking at them, both pleased and happy, but aunt May hung to the side with a pensive look on her face. One Kate recognized as the inability to readily accept Jason into the fold and that would no doubt become a problem.

  * * *

  5

  Chapter FIVE

  -

  -

  -

  -

  -

  -

  -

  “What if the life he is inviting you

  into is less than desirable?”

  .

  For two days they existed in the bubble of new friendships, and she thought that just maybe, everything would be perfect. She had stopped worrying long enough to enjoy being there and as she sat under the tree with a book she heard him approach and smelled him on the breeze before he even spoke.

  “Hey,” Jason whispered behind her. It was a salutation, asking permission to sit with her.

  “Hi,” she said averting her gaze from his piercing eyes. She felt her thoughts laid bare and just for a moment that vulnerability was not something she wanted to have to deal with.

  “Want to go down to the river?” Jason asked her following her gaze. She nodded as he lit a lamp and helped her up. He squeezed her hand lovingly as they made their way to where the slow rapids washed a soothing path over her aching soul. Why it was aching was a question she could not answer herself.

  “How have you been, my love?” she asked, starting the conversation at her own pace. It might have sounded like a question that was out of place, but truth be told was that they did not have much time to catch up with each other in the two days that had passed. Between Nathan trying to get to know his little brother all over again, and Alex stealing him away for conversations, she had been left watching. It was not something that bothered her because she enjoyed seeing him happy and connecting. One of the first things he had said when they’d met was that he wished he had siblings and here he was; his wish come true. For that she was happy.

  “That is a strange question. It is almost as if you haven’t been here the entire time,” he looked at her and his eyes were shrouded in the darkness around them. She could tell they were staring into her soul once again. This time she let them.

  “I see you with a smile that adds glow to your face, but I know this all must be a lot so I want to know how to truly feel about it all. I want to know if it is too much or not quite what you had envisioned,” she responded and took his hand so he would know she was not mad at him. The truth was that she had learned that people could be really good at hiding their true thoughts and she was just getting to know him, so there were still times she had to ask about what was going on with him.

  With a kiss to her temple he responded. “This is why I think I am falling in love with you, Kate Blanche. You see beyond what is there.”

  He paused and she waited for him to continue.

  “I am happy here. Truly happy to have found the brother I always wanted but didn’t know I had. But a part of me wants to run for the hills, because I have no idea how my father will actually feel about me coming here in light of how his interaction with Nathan has been. And I have seen his scars Kate...”

  His words trailed off and she knew that more than anything else he was feeling guilty.

  “Are you staying?” she asked him getting to the point of the conversation.

  He sighed and looked away from her. The glow from the lamp casted a haunting shadow at the foot of the tree as she stared at the face that reflected chaos.

  “The question is, if you are going to?”

  She took his hand as she spoke. “Do you want to leave me here, Jason?”

  He shook his head. “Never!”

  “Then why ask. You asked me to marry you and I have agreed, yet you seem hell bent on sending me away, giving me away or leaving me behind. Is this what I am to always expect from the man who is stealing my heart with every minute we spend together.”

  “I am not worthy of you,” he said as he lowered his head.

  She sighed. “And who decides that? Hmmm? Who decides if I am deserving of something or not? Is that to be your role as my husband?”

  She couldn’t control the anger simmering inside her. She couldn’t understand why he would feel such a comment was even fair to her.

  “I am not trying to dictate your life Kate.”

  “Then what are you trying to do?” she glared at him beneath the light of the full moon. “You need to make a choice.”

  “I choose you,” he said almost instantly.

  “Then stop trying to get rid of me. It does not inspire faith in the possibility of our marriage lasting.”

  “I am a criminal!” he blurted out and whatever else she was going to say died on her lips. “I have stolen in several states and I am wanted in just as many. That is not a life I think you will want.”

  “A man is not defined by his past unless he refuses to change his future. Are you a changed man Jason, or will you choose to walk in your father’s footsteps?”

  He fell silent.

  “I am willing to work through the rough waters with you. It is up to you whether you are willing to stay or go.”

  With that she had nothing else to say. The old white owl that lived in the tree decided to step out for that moment, and they forgot their worries in the few seconds it took for it to spread its broad white wings and soar out into the night. Somehow she knew he was wishing he was as free as that white owl, but the grip he held on her hand told her that it is not her or the possibility of what they could have that he wanted to be free from. He wanted to be free of the mistakes that haunted him.

  “I worry that my father will show up and try to destroy all this,” he said after a moment of silence.

  “We have dealt with him before and should he come back we will deal with him again.”

  He sighed. “We cannot just stay here living under my brother’s roof, either. I will have to return to my position in the bar and try to earn us a life there.”

  As she listened to him speak she realized that his problem was less with staying here and more with his feeling that he could not make her happy because he was a man from humble means. It was no doubt the price he paid for an honest living and the faith she had in the fact that they could build something awesome was something she would have to try to get him to see.

  She lifted her thumb and stroked his cheek; his eyebrows trembled with her touch. “Jason, there is more to life than the material things that make it a bit easier to live. How many times am I going to have to explain this to you?”

  He rested his forehead against hers. “I just want you to be happy and comfortable. I don’t want to take you from all this to misery and hardship. I worry.”

  “I will be fine. We will be fine, and should we need a hand or a leg up, Nathan will be more than willing to offer us one.”

  Sh
e knew for a man like him the thought of needing help could not be the least bit inspiring, but for the moment he seemed to accept what she said. He smiled at her.

  “Thank you for being a part of my life, Kate,” he kissed her above her blind eye. “Thank you for seeing beyond the obvious flaws.”

  “What flaws?” she asked him feigning shock. He laughed and pulled her into him for a hug. In that embrace she felt right at home.

  * * *

  6

  Chapter SIX

  -

  -

  -

  -

  -

  -

  -

  “What if the life he is inviting you

  into is less than desirable?”

  .

  Jason sat lost in thought for the rest of the night and straight into the following day. He thought about things so much he was beginning to lose touch with reality. Nathan took him around the ranch the following day and gave him work to do.

  “You know if you want you can stay here with us right?” his brother had asked him. He had not responded for he knew no respectful man would marry a woman and move her into his brother’s estate.

  “No,” he had told him. “I will make a life for us in my town.”

  “Well,” Nathan had said to him. “If you ever need any help just know I am here. I can give you money to help you start your own ranch. Kate tells me you have massive space.”

  He sighed before continuing. “The problem, Nathan, is never money. It will always be our father.”

  And as he said that he looked at the scarred forearm and torso of his brother, where their father had scarred him for the crime of simply being born. Even then he felt guilt at the fact that he was grateful he had never felt his father’s wrath.