Time Lost: Teenage Survivalist II

by Casey, Julie L.

  The rest of the afternoon Sara had that haunted look in her eyes but this time, something else was lurking there. Fear, anguish, guilt? It was killing me to find out what was bothering her, but I didn’t dare ask. I couldn’t risk making her feel bad again and pushing her away like I had my mother. Neither one of us felt like talking so we each picked out a book off the bookshelf and sat in the living room reading and trying to keep our minds off what had happened.

  That night, as she headed toward her room to go to bed, Sara suddenly turned to me and started talking, like she had a secret that she just couldn’t keep in any longer.

  — I didn’t kill that girl, Ben.

  — I know you didn’t.

  — But I know who did.

  She shook her head sadly as my eyes nearly popped out of my head in alarm and the question Who? formed on my lips. Without answering, she went into her bedroom and shut the door.

  Chapter 15

  Revelation

  Sara and I stayed in the apartment building for the next couple of weeks, spending most of our time on the roof in the shade of the dormant air conditioning unit. We were afraid to leave the building both because of the threat of gang activity and the possibility of being picked up by police and sent to foster homes. School had started a few days before and we wanted no part of that scene.

  We took a couple of chairs up to sit on and even dragged the mattress from my bed up there to sleep on at night. We had most of our meager meals up there as well, mostly birds and an occasional rat or mouse we were able to trap. We were hungry most of the time, but at least we had water, a toilet, and most important of all, freedom.

  Most of the time, the other residents of the apartment building left us alone. There were always new people coming to the building and then moving out after a day or two, never wanting to stay in one place very long. Gerald stayed off the roof, probably because he didn’t want to confront me again. Occasionally, Jason would come to the roof to visit, but never stayed long since I was still quite cool toward him.

  The first night we slept on the roof I tried to get romantic with Sara, since we were now sleeping together, but she pushed me away and rolled over to face away from me.

  — Please don’t, Ben. Everyone always wants a piece of me. That’s why I stay with you; you never try to force me into doing anything I don’t want to do. I feel safe with you. Please don’t ruin it now.

  As much as I wanted Sara right then, having her stay with me was much more important, so I kept my hands to myself from then on. I kept hoping she’d change her mind and initiate some contact, but it never happened. I buried the disappointment of my desire deep down inside me with all the other pain I was hiding. It wasn’t that hard to ignore my physical desires; I felt like I was emotionally dead anyway and the strain of trying to keep all that buried exhausted me physically as well.

  One night just after dark, Jason came staggering up the stairs to the roof. He was a mess, his nose bloody and a black eye already forming. He was dragging his left leg and hugging his chest. His wheezing reminded me of my dad after he had been beaten in the riot for water months before. Despite my dislike and distrust of him, I couldn’t help feeling a surge of concern and pity for the poor guy. Sara was stricken with concern, almost making me jealous. She ran to his side.

  — Jason! What happened?

  Jason was unable to speak right away. It was several minutes after Sara had helped him to a chair before he could tell us what happened. What he said chilled me to the bone.

  —They’re looking for you, Sara. Your brother and your ex and their gang. You have to leave.

  I’ll never forget the look on Sara’s face—a mix of terror, concern, and panic. I felt the adrenalin surge through my veins and I was stricken with the same feelings I saw in Sara’s face. I also felt intense anger toward Jason, which I unleashed with a verbal assault.

  — You dumb ass! You probably led them here to her! How could you put her in danger like that? I ought to beat the crap out of you right now!

  I didn’t expect to see the intense dejection and self-loathing in Jason’s face and it cooled my anger immediately. Sara shot me an angry look of warning, which cooled it even more. What Jason said next almost made me feel sorry for him.

  — I know. I couldn’t think straight. I don’t think they were following me, though. I’ve been out cold in the alley behind the hardware store since this morning.

  Sara told me to go down to the apartment and bring up wet rags and any kind of medicine and bandages I could find. It took me a few minutes to collect the items, during which time my mind was spinning with panic, trying to settle on a plan to keep Sara safe. By the time I returned to the roof, I had decided that it would probably be safest to stay where we were instead of trying to run through streets that were controlled by rogue gangs, one of them being the ones looking for her. As Sara cleaned up Jason as best she could and bandaged his bruised and possibly broken ribs and foot, I explained what I had decided. Jason argued a little, but Sara was silent. She didn’t speak much until after we had helped Jason down to his apartment, making him as comfortable as we could, and returned to the roof with several cans of food that Jason gave us for helping him. As we shut the door on his apartment, I made sure to turn the lock so he would be safe. Sara smiled at me for that and I felt selfless and good about myself for once.

  When we got to the roof, I blocked the door by forcing two metal bars through the handrails on each side of the door. For extra measure, Sara helped me push a heavy drum of some unknown substance in front of the door. We lay down on the mattress and pulled our blanket over us, but neither of us could sleep. We didn’t talk for a long time, but finally I couldn’t hold it in any longer.

  — So are you going to tell me about your brother?

  I wanted to ask about her ex as well, but decided not to push it. It was a minute or so before Sara answered.

  — Matthew is four years older than me. Last year, or maybe it was the year before—I’ve lost track of the time—he started hanging out with a bad bunch of guys. Drinking, drugs, and such. He was always getting into trouble and getting suspended from school. Of course, that’s exactly what he wanted so he could go hang out with the other druggies. My parents tried and tried to straighten him out. I felt so bad for them. I hated my brother for putting them through all that. At the same time, though, I still loved him. You know what I mean?

  I nodded but said nothing, afraid that she would quit talking if I said anything. She sighed then, a deep, sad sigh.

  — I had this boyfriend, Zack. We weren’t serious or anything, but I liked him. Matthew started luring him to hang out with his gang. Zack was only 15, but he got into the drugs just like my brother. One night they were arrested for being in a big fight with some other guys. They all had drugs on them and they all ended up going to jail, Zack to juvie, but Matthew was charged as an adult since he was 18 and got three to five years. I guess they had to let them out when the power was off.

  I was silent for a couple of minutes more, then I asked what I’d been dying to know for days.

  — So, how do you know who killed that girl? Was it your brother or one of his gang?

  She took so long to answer I thought she’d gone to sleep, but she finally spoke. This time her voice was thin and wavering like she was trembling or trying not to cry.

  — I saw Matthew and Zack the first time I went with Jason, when we were coming back home. Zack was trying to get me to go with him, to be his “ho.” He got mad when I said no. Jason told them I was his girlfriend and that he would give them food if they left us alone. He gave them all the food he had in his backpack. It worked; they let us go. The next time I saw them was when I got the seeds. It was late and Jason still had to board the store back up behind us. I came back alone because I was worried about you worrying about me. Zack had this sick-looking girl hanging on him. She looked like she’d been beat up pretty bad. Like she was almost dead already. He still tried to get me to go with him an
d when I refused again, he got real mad. The girl tried to say that he only needed her and that made him even madder. He punched her in the stomach real hard and she started throwing up blood. I tried to run away, but Matthew caught me and threatened to kill me if I ever told anyone what I saw. I gave him a hundred dollars and he let me go. Jason never asked for anything from me; it was Matthew I paid. When I looked back, the girl was lying on the ground in a pool of blood, already dead, I suppose.

  At that, Sara’s voice cracked and she started crying. I pulled her close and let her cry into my shoulder. She kept murmuring over and over, that poor girl until she fell asleep in my arms. I stayed awake, worrying about the gang, the threat to Sara, and thinking about how wrong I’d been to judge Jason without knowing the facts. It made me wonder how many other times I had jumped to conclusions about someone before knowing the whole story. I put the headphones of Sara’s iPod in my ears and finally drifted off to sleep with the soft sounds of Mad World and visions of my mother’s sad and disappointed face haunting my dreams.

  Chapter 16

  Escape

  Muffled pounding and shouting downstairs awakened us during the night. At first I thought it was part of the music still playing in my ear, but when I heard a woman scream, I sat bolt upright, accidentally pulling the headphones out of my ears. In the dim light of a sliver of the moon, Sara’s eyes were huge pools of fear. She clutched at me and whispered, panic making her voice tremble,

  — It’s them!

  For a moment, we just sat there blinking, but when a second scream, this time a male voice, wailed on long and anguished, finally weakening to a strangled moan, I jumped into action. I started stuffing all our things into our two gym bags, which we kept on the roof with us. Sara stood and quietly helped. Her movements seemed stiff and slow and made me think of the phrase “scared stiff.” I stopped for a moment and held her close until she calmed down a little.

  The voices were sounding louder, like they were working their way up the floors. We were startled by a sound like a gunshot, but we couldn’t believe anyone would still have ammunition left after all this time. We weren’t taking any chances, though, and went back to packing with additional urgency. When we were done, we slung the bags on our backs and carefully made our way to the burned out section of the building where we knew there was, ironically, a fire escape.

  Hoping the fire hadn’t weakened the metal too much, we started down the stairs, testing each step while still trying to hurry. About halfway down, we heard pounding on the door to the roof. We paused only a moment, and then continued. We were on the last landing before the final flight, which ended about eight feet off the ground, when the shadow of a man rounded the corner on our side of the building. We froze and prayed that he would not think to look up. We could barely see him, the dim moonlight reflecting off his bald head, as he stopped under the fire escape and turned his face up toward us. I could feel Sara’s muscles tighten and I feared that the man would hear the sound of my heart beating wildly in my chest.

  Apparently, his eyes hadn’t adjusted to the darkness yet, having just came out of the now brightly-lit building, because he just squinted for several seconds, then turned and yelled at his gang that nobody was on this side of the building. We didn’t move until we heard the door to the back of the building open and close again. Then we quickly dropped to the ground from the bottom rung, grabbed hands and started running as quietly as we could across the street to the alley between the buildings to the east. We could hear more shouting as the gang exited the back of our building and I swear I heard them calling for Sara.

  We rushed eastward as fast as we dared, pausing at the corners before darting across the open territory of the streets. We ran for at least ten blocks before we were so out of breath we had to hide in a recessed doorway to rest for a minute. As we caught our breath, Sara looked at me with her huge, haunted eyes, which were clouded by fear as well. I tried to look reassuringly back at her, but I’m not sure I was able to pull it off convincingly. Wordlessly, we continued east until we hit a major boulevard running north and south. I stopped Sara in the middle of a clump of trees and we silently listened for the sound of someone following us. After several long seconds, I whispered,

  — Which way should we go?

  — South.

  She said it with such conviction that I didn’t think to argue with her. I was curious what she had in mind, though. She started walking briskly south. I had to hurry a little to catch up to her. We stayed at the edge of the trees that lined the side of the boulevard.

  — Why south?

  — Swope Park.

  — Swope Park?

  I’d never been to Swope Park before, except to visit the zoo.

  — Yeah, it has a big woods and a river that runs through it. And the zoo’s there.

  — Why would we want to go to the zoo at a time like this?

  She looked at me like I was a bit slow.

  — Animals… hunting…?

  She smiled slightly when it dawned on me that she was far ahead of me in thinking about survival. If there were any animals left in the zoo by now, that is. At any rate, the idea of hiding in the woods by a river was very appealing to me after being cooped up in the apartment building so much, especially since summer was coming on and we wouldn’t have been able to run the air conditioners in the building.

  We walked for the rest of the night until dawn, probably three hours or so. By the time we made it to Swope Park, we were exhausted. At the first bridge crossing the Blue River, we left the road and scrambled down the steep hill to the riverbanks below. The river was really just a stream, only about ten or twelve feet across. We settled under the bridge, using our gym bags as pillows and fell asleep.

  While I slept, I dreamed that a huge beast was after us. In the darkness of my mind, we ran through the streets of downtown with the monster on our heels. We couldn’t see what it was; we could only see its glowing yellow eyes and hear its roar. Right before I woke up, I dreamed we rounded the corner of a building and there in front of us, strewn on the street under a streetlight were the bodies of Gerald, Janice, and Skinner. The beast was hunched over another body with its back to us. As we stood and stared, horrified, the body under the beast raised its head and looked at us with wounded, accusing eyes. It was Jason.

  I woke with a start, overwhelmed by feelings of guilt and remorse—remorse for treating Jason badly, guilt for leaving him behind to face the gang alone. And what about Janice and Gerald? They’d been kind to us when we needed them. Shouldn’t I have stayed to help them in their time of need? I shook my head and decided that there was nothing I could have done. My first duty was to Sara and I couldn’t have protected her if I’d gone downstairs to help the others. Nonetheless, the bad feelings stayed with me all day.

  Another thing that stayed with me during the day was the sound of the beast roaring; only now I realized that it was a real beast roaring from the nearby zoo. Sara said it was a lion and he sounded forlorn and hungry. It scared me, but Sara was excited by the sound. She wanted to sneak into the zoo after we had found something to eat and see if there were any other animals left. I wasn’t too sure about that.

  — What if they eat us?

  — They can’t get out of their pens, silly. Most of them are probably dead anyway. No way to get food for them when so many people are starving and probably no one to take care of them either.

  Sara seemed quite saddened by that thought, but I was glad there wouldn’t be many animals around to try to eat us. I hadn’t been to the zoo since my kindergarten field trip years before, but I remembered big scary beasts like lions, tigers, and polar bears. I wasn’t too keen on meeting up with one of them, particularly since they were undoubtedly hungry.

  Chapter 17

  Swope Park

  Fishing under the bridge was good, so we quickly caught two large catfish. We decided we needed to move upriver, away from the sight of the road, before we made a fire and cooked them. We walked along
the railroad tracks that roughly followed the flow of the river. About a half a mile up and around a bend in the river, we came upon an abandoned train on the tracks. We could see and smell wisps of smoke rising above a clump of trees ahead of us. We hesitated, not sure whether the fire-builder would be friendly or not.

  Cautiously, we peeked around a large tree and watched while a dark and wrinkled old man tended to a spit holding some kind of meat suspended over the fire. The body of the animal was freshly skinned and apparently hadn’t been cooking long enough to brown the meat or give off an aroma. Sara and I glanced at each other and somehow agreed to reveal ourselves without uttering a word. As usual, Sara was the first to speak to the man, sounding very courteous and respectful.

  — Good morning, sir. We were wondering if we could share your fire for a bit.

  He eyed us suspiciously and cocked his head to the side.

  — There ain’t enough for more than me. Best you leave me be an’ find your own food.

  — We don’t want to take your food, sir. We have our own. See?

  Sara grabbed my hand and held it and the fish aloft.

  — Well, in that case, sure, you can share my fire.

  The man relaxed and nodded toward the fire.

  — Thank you, sir.

  — What be your names?

  — I’m Sara and this is Ben.

  — Nice to meet you Sara an’ Ben. You can call me Aaron. Why don’t you pull up a rock there an’ dress your fish. Might be good to find a long green stick to roast ‘em on too.

  Aaron’s voice was deep and musical. In my scarred heart, I felt I could trust this man, even though my brain told me to trust nobody but Sara. Apparently, Sara felt comfortable around him as well, because she smiled and relaxed for the first time in days. She seemed to enjoy the conversation she was having with Aaron.