Dear Dumb Diary #6: The Problem with Here Is That it's Where I'm From (Dear Dumb Diary Series)

by Jim Benton

  I told her that was sweet, but I thought we’d

  gotten ourselves into this and now we’d have to live

  with it.

  Angeline gave us B.F.F. necklaces.

  Isabella says that they kind of prove that

  we own Angeline a little bit, like a dog tag proves

  you own your dog. Isabella says it will magically

  increase our popularity and she seemed so happy

  about that that I’m wondering if she had considered

  that when she made us all BEST FRIENDS. (Would

  Isabella ever actually DO something like that?)

  What she said about the dog tag made sense

  to me, so I gave my B.F.F. necklace to Stinker. I’ll

  have to figure out what to tell Angeline when she

  comes over to finish that assignment that I knew all

  along was going to get put off until the day before

  it was due.

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  I’m not trying to force Stinker to learn any

  more foreign languages. I realize he already speaks

  one: DOG. And I think I have a new opinion about

  other people in other places anyway.

  I got an e-mail from Colette. Here it is:

  Dear Jamie —

  I told the principal what I did with the

  cat food and why, and I’m getting punished,

  but they’re going easy on me because I

  confessed.

  The PRETTIEST award I won at your

  school made a big difference for me here. I

  didn’t eat lunch alone today, and nobody

  called me Collie all day. Mackerel Middle

  School is the best school in the world. You

  guys are super nice!

  Luv,

  Colette

  PS: You’ll like this. Today at lunch, one of

  my friends told me that she heard about this

  girl at some other school, who was going

  around talking like she had a speech impedi-

  ment or something, and when the principal

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  found out, he made her wear wooden shoes.

  Can you believe it?

  So I’m their “girl at some other

  school”!!!

  I guess every place is somebody else’s Best

  Place On Earth, and somebody else’s Worst

  Place On Earth at the same time.

  And if you ignore the parsley garnish, deep

  down, we’re all sliced from the same meat loaf.

  I suppose there’s nothing wrong with where I

  am except that now as far as the Whole World of My

  School is concerned, Angeline and Isabella and I are

  BEST FRIENDS; the BROWNEST, POOFIEST,

  CLOGGIEST best friends in school.

  Thanks for listening, Dumb Diary.

  See you at the wedding!

  PS: And let’s see you pretty your way out of THIS

  outfit, Angeline.

  www.scholastic.com/deardumbdiary

  scholastic.com/deardumbdiary

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  scholastic.com

  About Jim Benton

  Jim Benton is not a middle-school girl, but do

  not hold that against him. He has managed to

  make a living out of being funny, anyway.

  He is the creator of many licensed properties,

  some for big kids, some for little kids, and some

  for grown-ups who, frankly, are probably behaving

  like little kids.

  You may already know his properties: It’s

  Happy Bunny™ or Catwad™, and of course you

  already know about Dear Dumb Diary.

  He’s created a kids’ TV series, designed

  clothing, and written books.

  Jim Benton lives in Michigan with his spectac-

  ular wife and kids. They do not have a dog, and

  they especially do not have a vengeful beagle.

  This is his first series for Scholastic.

  Jamie Kelly has no idea that Jim Benton, or

  you, or anybody is reading her diaries. So, please,

  please, please don’t tell her.

  www.scholastic.com