LAW Box Set: Books 1-3 (Life After War Book 0)

by Angela White

  The blows had started there, and it had taken Zack a minute to snap out of the instant daze those words caused, allowing Ray to suffer two powerful punches. Every syllable had fit perfectly.

  Zack hit his button. “John to the parking area–bring your bag.”

  “Copy.”

  Zack left the nearly unconscious trio to be found by the doctor, all he was willing to do for them. They would have seriously hurt Ray this time, and it was enough to drive in how different Zack knew he was becoming. Before his time around Adrian…Angela, Zack would have been the fourth man, trading off punches with Tucker. Now, he was disgusted and determined to protect both Ray and Dale. What the hell has this place done to me?

  And why didn’t I understood how wrong it was before? Because the old world had expected people like him to treat people like Ray badly? Because it had been an outlet for working his life away, just to own a piece of property to be buried on? Because the lovers were breaking society’s basic rules and appeared happy?

  Childhood abuse had eaten Zack up inside until he was a bitter widower with nothing kind to say to a woman. As Kenn’s right hand man, he’d done things that could get him banished and toss him and his boys back out into the apocalyptic wastelands. It was a risk he’d been willing to take.

  Until Dean snuck into Safe Haven and almost killed Angela, Zack had been content with the orders Kenn had given because he felt he was being loyal. Always abusive, Zack’s sense of right and wrong had been scrambled. He had thought it was okay for him to treat his first wife–who died during the war–as badly as he wanted because he was suffering post-traumatic stress disorder. He also thought it was all right for Kenn to hit Angela, because they were together for so long and women needed correction from time to time.

  Now, he might openly shoot a man for hurting a female. After being in Safe Haven and learning how true men didn’t hurt the innocent, Zack was realizing that he’d been wrong about it…his entire life.

  Full of chaos, Zack returned to rounds as Point man, but waved Kevin along to be positive things were covered while he explored the guilt-laden doors showing up in his mind. This damn war had changed everything, including who he was, and the adjustments were always hard.

  8

  Samantha waited outside her QZ tent in a daze. These painkillers weren’t as good as morphine, but they were still strong enough to make her a bit fuzzy. Hopefully, they would help her get through this without breaking down and doing something stupid–like telling her men the truth.

  What I wouldn’t give for a syringe of morphine to calm my nerves!

  After what she’d just gone through, Samantha didn’t berate herself for the thought. Her addiction had been a shock, still was, and she would keep fighting, but right now, that emerald green liquid was a delicious fantasy. Reality, in comparison, often sucked donkey dicks.

  The guards on the area didn’t comment on Samantha’s battered face as they greeted her, though, they couldn’t help staring at it. Everyone had been waiting for this moment. No matter which man she picked, they all expected it to break up Neil’s team.

  At the sight of both her men–alive and well–Samantha let out the breath she’d been holding since first hearing the whispers. Men down, was a phrase she now loathed.

  Samantha held up a hand when Neil and Jeremy would have rushed to surround her. “Let me breathe.”

  Both males stopped, angrily scanning her injuries.

  “What happened?”

  “Are you okay?”

  Sam didn’t want to relive it and said, “Rick’s dead. Becky’s shot was beautiful.”

  The two men exchanged a worried glance at the odd tone. She almost sounded regretful.

  “Sam?”

  “I’m glad you’re both okay.” Samantha ignored Neil’s worry, seeing to her needs first. “Welcome home.”

  But there wasn’t much welcome in her words. Jeremy leaned against the side of the QZ supply truck, patiently waiting to be denied what he now wanted as much as his place in Safe Haven. He was positive who she would choose, but he hadn’t decided about staying on Neil’s team once they became a couple.

  Samantha hated what she was about to do, and hesitated.

  Jeremy held up a hand. “I don’t need to hear it, too, Sam. Feeling it is enough.”

  She flushed at his open longing. “I’m sorry I can’t give you what you want.”

  The XO shrugged as if he wasn’t being ripped apart. “You and Neil together was the plan all along, the main plot. I’m glad it worked out.”

  Samantha stepped closer, unable to ignore his pain. “I’m sorry.”

  “And you still want to be friends, right?”

  “Close friends.”

  Jeremy shrugged, fighting his emotions. “It’s hard to pretend not to feel something for someone. Not sure I’m that good of an actor.”

  Samantha hadn’t expected it to hurt them all so much, and she swallowed a withdrawal of her choice. It wasn’t what she wanted. “You’ll stay away?”

  Jeremy was too upset to care about witnesses. “I think that’s best.”

  “I figured you’d say that. I understand, but I won’t act differently.” She smiled sadly, unable to help feeling abandoned even though she knew he had no other defense against her choice. “You were my first real friend here. I’ll miss you.”

  A tear rolled down her bruised cheek and Jeremy’s control snapped.

  “Damn it,” he lamented, stepping forward. “And damn me, too.”

  Jeremy carefully surrounded Neil’s woman with arms that didn’t shake, didn’t betray him. He held her close for one moment of pretending she was his. “I’m always your friend, Samantha. More, if you ever want it.”

  Sam clutched at his strength, his need, surrounding herself with his light. “Promise?”

  “Yes.” Jeremy slowly placed a gentle kiss to her forehead, and then pushed her back. “Just let me heal for a while. It hurts.”

  He was out of her sight an instant later, leaving Sam with a new wall of guilt. She should have stopped his play after the first act, but she’d had no will to resist after that life-crushing trip to get here. This was her fault for using them to ease her loneliness.

  Neil studied Samantha’s stiff back for signs that she had anything more encouraging to say to him, but didn’t find any. It didn’t stop him from trying. “I’d like to talk.”

  Samantha carefully wiped her cheek. “I have to rest now. I only waited up to get this over with.”

  Neil did brace this time, hands going to rest on his belt, feet straightening. “Go on, then.”

  Samantha took instant offense at his tone, thinking if she’d said that to Jeremy, he would have taken her arm and escorted her to a tent to lie down. They each had their own way of treating her, their own responses to her moods, and she’d found herself grateful for that at different times. Not now, however. Neil could show a little more consideration.

  “Okay, I will. I don’t want a relationship with you, either. I tried to tell you. Now he’s hurt, and you–”

  “Are what you really want, so stop playing games,” Neil interrupted. “I’m too tired for it.”

  Sam’s head throbbed, reminding her of what she’d just gone through. The anger resurfaced, blasted out

  “Only some of what I want,” Samantha sneered. “Jeremy’s the other half.”

  Neil’s face reddened at the direct hit. He got set to fire back, but the unhappiness in her next words diffused his anger.

  “I know you don’t want to hear this, but if I can’t have it set up the way I want it, then serving the greater good will be enough.” Samantha found Jeremy’s shadow moving tiredly into a QZ camper. “I’ve had so much less that it won’t even faze me to be lonely.”

  Neil studied her, resisting the urge to say she could have whatever she wanted, if she’d just let him lie down and hold her for a while. It felt like this run would never end.

  “How do you want it, Sam?”

  She sighed.
“That’s not something a woman can explain.”

  Neil was confused and tired of fighting. If she needed a confession of emotions, no problem. “Samantha, I love–”

  “I know that,” Sam interrupted, pain pills now making it hard to think, to be patient. “So does everyone else.”

  Neil gaped at her. “You know that I love you?”

  “A lasting friendship is all that I can give in return.”

  Neil watched her hand slide over her bruised mouth as if she was as tortured by the choice as he was, but determined to see it through. That was it, then. There would never be anyone else for him.

  “If that’s the way you want it.”

  “It’s the way it has to be,” Sam answered, absorbing his pain and her own to sob over later.

  Neil picked up the kit he’d set by the tire and took it with him to the shower camper in the corner. He didn’t look back, determined to honor her wishes. He expected it to suck, but he would make sure that he never crossed the line again, and when he bled on the inside, he would be the only one who knew.

  Neil stepped into the camper and saw Jeremy already in a stall. His XO looked utterly dejected.

  Jeremy will know. He’ll bleed alongside me.

  Neil being here, instead of with Samantha, was a surprise to Jeremy, but not the wounded expression that mirrored his own. “Friends, too, huh?”

  “Yeah,” Neil grunted tiredly. “What’s with that shit?”

  Jeremy shrugged, trying to shake off the feeling of drifting in an ocean without a boat. “Something in the female bloodline that they pass to each other, maybe. Rip a man’s guts open, and then want to hang out later like nothing happened. Gets them an award in the sisterhood or something.”

  Neil found a small snicker and the required male-bonding response of, “Like when you get in a good shot, something you know they can’t deny, and they still manage to twist it so that you were wrong.”

  “For even firing, usually.”

  “Yep.” Neil agreed. He dropped his gear and got the water running.

  After a minute, the steam began to relax weary muscles, and the light conversation they’d been having issues with for weeks, continued to fall.

  “John will have us cleared quickly,” Jeremy commented, rinsing.

  “Yeah.”

  “Going up the hill to help dig when I’m out.”

  “Same here.” Neil glanced over at his XO. “You still feel the need to kill me?”

  Jeremy shook his head. “No. I was just thinking that she gave us our team back with this choice.”

  It occurred to them both, then, why she’d really done it.

  Neither of them spoke again after that.

  9

  “This is the way you want it?”

  “Yes.” Samantha tried not to let Adrian discover what a lie that was. She couldn’t have what she wanted... could she?

  Standing by her well-guarded tent, Adrian was picking up vibes that pleased and worried him. Her refusal of both males hadn’t only been for the good of Neil’s team. It was part of her own nature showing, and if her two men hadn’t recognized it, Adrian would eat his jacket. With her choice, she’d secured her own place among the Eagles.

  Adrian didn’t stare at Sam’s injuries like those on duty around them were doing. John had assured him that their storm tracker would be fine. It was the teenager huddled in the next tent, who needed their care and concern.

  “For the good of the many?” Adrian asked.

  “Yes. I could never be happy with one of them if it hurt the dream,” Samantha confessed. “I believe in it too much for that.” And I want something else, she added silently, something that was forbidden in the old world. How can I get it?

  Adrian studied her, watching the mental smoke roll. What was she planning? Her entire demeanor had just gone still and wary–a sign of female chaos yet-to-come.

  “Samantha?”

  She ducked into her tent without responding.

  Adrian let her go, a bit stunned by her courage as the answer occurred to him. He hadn’t considered that these post-war women would want to change the double standard on physical relief, and Adrian began to smile. Once the camp got over it, they would start to return the other freedoms that females had been denied because of their gender. After that, the quiet, steady women who were even now generously seeing to the comfort of his returning army, would join it.

  Adrian’s pleasure sent peace and light over his camp in thick waves. Despite the wounds they’d suffered, the future had never looked better.

  Kenn appeared at his side. “Kyle just checked in. Said he won’t make it back until evening.”

  Catching the uneasy tone, Adrian waved a hand. “What is it?”

  Kenn filled him in on the Jennifer situation, ending with the last thing Kyle had transmitted. “He said to tell you to tally his account. That mean anything?”

  “It’s a warning.” Adrian sighed in resignation. “He’s giving me time to prepare.”

  Giving you time to save him, Kenn thought. His own foray into banishment hadn’t been that long ago, and Kenn found he held sympathy for the mobster.

  “Tell him it’s been a long run, and I want him home,” Adrian stated. “We’ll handle all that shit when it happens.”

  “The other slaves are saying she’s only fourteen,” Kenn added.

  Adrian thought of the way Seth had defended Becky’s honor, of how he was still on duty here.

  “Then she’ll need a friend like Kyle. They all will.”

  Kenn frowned, not understanding, and Adrian didn’t try to explain. With the threat of the slavers gone, more things would change for Safe Haven. The future depended on it. Adrian had expected Neil to break this particular barrier for the camp, but Rick had changed the roles. Now Seth and Kyle might have those parts in rebuilding their world.

  “Kyle needs to be an Eagle. It’s who he is now,” Adrian stated. Aware of Kenn lingering, he headed toward the warehouse again. They both wanted a subtle check to be sure Angela was okay. “He’ll walk the lines carefully, like we all do.”

  10

  “Did you help her?”

  Charlie stepped out of the shadows to Adrian’s right, followed by Cynthia, who hung back to give them privacy. Kenn immediately went in a different direction.

  Charlie had just been in to see his mom, and he was surprised by how much better she seemed. It didn’t match what he’d been expecting after looking through Eagle minds for the details.

  “Did you?”

  Adrian flashed to holding Angela close, sharing his strength. “Yes, as much as was allowed.”

  “But it won’t last long.”

  “No. She’ll use it up quickly.”

  “Would you have been able to bring her back, like she did for my dad?” Charlie’s tone wasn’t accusing, but it was hard.

  “No.”

  The teenager stared, working it through, dealing with his emotions.

  Adrian wondered if the boy’s parents knew how restless he was becoming, how apt to swing.

  “The Eagles would have killed you.”

  Again, Adrian told the truth, saying, “Only if they beat me to it.”

  “And you put her in that situation!”

  “It’s where she belongs. I can prove that.”

  “How?”

  Hopeful, but nowhere near the subservient minion he’d been before, Adrian observed. Good.

  “If she resigns, I was wrong to put her there. And everyone will understand that, not just my army.”

  The teenager grunted in recognition of what Adrian had risked, was still risking. It hadn’t been just the lives of his men, but also the very leadership that had brought them all together.

  “She won’t. You knew that or you wouldn’t have set it up,” Charlie guessed.

  “Partially,” Adrian admitted. “I watched to be sure, but there was a moment when your mom and I first met that told me where she belonged. With you, it was in that dusty office of Sage
Lanes.”

  “When I came to you about the new arrivals.”

  “Yes. You were serving the greater good, with no idea of what my army was even about yet. I’ve always known you would have a place.”

  “They’ll think I’m too young–want to hold me back.”

  Adrian shrugged, finally reaching the warehouse door. “Age doesn’t make a man or a woman–awareness of the situation does. They know that.”

  Adrian stepped inside, but looked back with a hard stare. “Be reasonable and take their instruction. Everyone needs guidance, but especially those like us. Without self-control, the gifts we have are dangerous. Never forget that.”

  Before Adrian could get inside, Neil joined him, and Adrian moved back to the sidewalk. He didn’t think he’d been this tired since right after the war.

  “Camp’s up and running.”

  Good.” Adrian was currently functioning on a total of fifteen hours sleep in five days. His previous whining came to mind, and the leader grimaced. Not anymore. Every four hours of rest I get after this will be valued.

  Neil’s bloodshot eyes went to the hilltop, where a few of the men were getting things set up for the funeral, now that the digging was finished. It was the first one that Safe Haven would attend as a camp. For the Eagles, it was closure for this run. The men were gathering in the training tent for workouts, and he was headed there next.

  Kenn moved around the corner and inside the warehouse without looking at either of them, a number of guards following the Marine. Kenn’s mistakes hadn’t been forgotten.

  “Should I head that off or let it roll?” Neil asked.

  Adrian considered, reading the faces of the men openly trailing Kenn. “If they choose to handle it now, let it roll. He’s still paying.”

  Adrian moved closer, though, in case he was needed.

  “Adrian.”

  The blond turned back, catching the tone. He braced for a blow, and Neil delivered two.

  “Use the team as you see fit, but Jeremy and I need a break. And I’m no longer your third. I don’t deserve it anymore. Give it to Marc. I’m done.”

  Chapter Five

  Settling Down