Jennie Gerhardt: A Novel

by Theodore Dreiser

  CHAPTER L

  While the real estate deal was in progress Mrs. Gerald decided tomove to Chicago. She had been staying in Cincinnati for a few months,and had learned a great deal as to the real facts of Lester'sirregular mode of life. The question whether or not he was reallymarried to Jennie remained an open one. The garbled details ofJennie's early years, the fact that a Chicago paper had written him upas a young millionaire who was sacrificing his fortune for love ofher, the certainty that Robert had practically eliminated him from anyvoice in the Kane Company, all came to her ears. She hated to thinkthat Lester was making such a sacrifice of himself. He had let nearlya year slip by without doing anything. In two more years his chancewould be gone. He had said to her in London that he was without manyillusions. Was Jennie one? Did he really love her, or was he justsorry for her? Letty wanted very much to find out for sure.

  The house that Mrs. Gerald leased in Chicago was a most imposingone on Drexel Boulevard. "I'm going to take a house in your town thiswinter, and I hope to see a lot of you," she wrote to Lester. "I'mawfully bored with life here in Cincinnati. After Europe it'sso--well, you know. I saw Mrs. Knowles on Saturday. She askedafter you. You ought to know that you have a loving friend in her. Herdaughter is going to marry Jimmy Severance in the spring."

  Lester thought of her coming with mingled feelings of pleasure anduncertainty. She would be entertaining largely, of course. Would shefoolishly begin by attempting to invite him and Jennie? Surely not.She must know the truth by this time. Her letter indicated as much.She spoke of seeing a lot of him. That meant that Jennie would have tobe eliminated. He would have to make a clean breast of the wholeaffair to Letty. Then she could do as she pleased about their futureintimacy. Seated in Letty's comfortable boudoir one afternoon, facinga vision of loveliness in pale yellow, he decided that he might aswell have it out with her. She would understand. Just at this time hewas beginning to doubt the outcome of the real estate deal, andconsequently he was feeling a little blue, and, as a concomitant, alittle confidential. He could not as yet talk to Jennie about histroubles.

  "You know, Lester," said Letty, by way of helping him to hisconfession--the maid had brought tea for her and some brandy andsoda for him, and departed--"that I have been hearing a lot ofthings about you since I've been back in this country. Aren't yougoing to tell me all about yourself? You know I have your realinterests at heart."

  "What have you been hearing, Letty?" he asked, quietly.

  "Oh, about your father's will for one thing, and the fact thatyou're out of the company, and some gossip about Mrs. Kane whichdoesn't interest me very much. You know what I mean. Aren't you goingto straighten things out, so that you can have what rightfully belongsto you? It seems to me such a great sacrifice, Lester, unless, ofcourse, you are very much in love. Are you?" she asked archly.

  Lester paused and deliberated before replying. "I really don't knowhow to answer that last question, Letty," he said. "Sometimes I thinkthat I love her; sometimes I wonder whether I do or not. I'm going tobe perfectly frank with you. I was never in such a curious position inmy life before. You like me so much, and I--well, I don't saywhat I think of you," he smiled. "But anyhow, I can talk to youfrankly. I'm not married."

  "I thought as much," she said, as he paused.

  "And I'm not married because I have never been able to make up mymind just what to do about it. When I first met Jennie I thought herthe most entrancing girl I had ever laid eyes on."

  "That speaks volumes for my charms at that time," interrupted hisvis-a-vis.

  "Don't interrupt me if you want to hear this," he smiled.

  "Tell me one thing," she questioned, "and then I won't. Was that inCleveland?"

  "Yes."

  "So I heard," she assented.

  "There was something about her so--"

  "Love at first sight," again interpolated Letty foolishly. Herheart was hurting her. "I know."

  "Are you going to let me tell this?"

  "Pardon me, Lester. I can't help a twinge or two."

  "Well, anyhow, I lost my head. I thought she was the most perfectthing under the sun, even if she was a little out of my world. This isa democratic country. I thought that I could just take her, andthen--well, you know. That is where I made my mistake. I didn'tthink that would prove as serious as it did. I never cared for anyother woman but you before and--I'll be frank--I didn't knowwhether I wanted to marry you. I thought I didn't want to marry anywoman. I said to myself that I could just take Jennie, and then, aftera while, when things had quieted down some, we could separate. Shewould be well provided for. I wouldn't care very much. She wouldn'tcare. You understand."

  "Yes, I understand," replied his confessor.

  "Well, you see, Letty, it hasn't worked out that way. She's a womanof a curious temperament. She possesses a world of feeling andemotion. She's not educated in the sense in which we understand thatword, but she has natural refinement and tact. She's a goodhousekeeper. She's an ideal mother. She's the most affectionatecreature under the sun. Her devotion to her mother and father wasbeyond words. Her love for her--daughter she's hers, notmine--is perfect. She hasn't any of the graces of the smartsociety woman. She isn't quick at repartee. She can't join in anyrapid-fire conversation. She thinks rather slowly, I imagine. Some ofher big thoughts never come to the surface at all, but you can feelthat she is thinking and that she is feeling."

  "You pay her a lovely tribute, Lester," said Letty.

  "I ought to," he replied. "She's a good woman, Letty; but, for allthat I have said, I sometimes think that it's only sympathy that'sholding me."

  "Don't be too sure," she said warningly.

  "Yes, but I've gone through with a great deal. The thing for me tohave done was to have married her in the first place. There have beenso many entanglements since, so much rowing and discussion, that I'verather lost my bearings. This will of father's complicates matters. Istand to lose eight hundred thousand if I marry her--really, agreat deal more, now that the company has been organized into a trust.I might better say two millions. If I don't marry her, I loseeverything outright in about two more years. Of course, I mightpretend that I have separated from her, but I don't care to lie. Ican't work it out that way without hurting her feelings, and she'sbeen the soul of devotion. Right down in my heart, at this minute, Idon't know whether I want to give her up. Honestly, I don't know whatthe devil to do."

  Lester looked, lit a cigar in a far-off, speculative fashion, andlooked out of the window.

  "Was there ever such a problem?" questioned Letty, staring at thefloor. She rose, after a few moments of silence, and put her hands onhis round, solid head. Her yellow, silken house-gown, faintly scented,touched his shoulders. "Poor Lester," she said. "You certainly havetied yourself up in a knot. But it's a Gordian knot, my dear, and itwill have to be cut. Why don't you discuss this whole thing with her,just as you have with me, and see how she feels about it?"

  "It seems such an unkind thing to do," he replied.

  "You must take some action, Lester dear," she insisted. "You can'tjust drift. You are doing yourself such a great injustice. Frankly, Ican't advise you to marry her; and I'm not speaking for myself inthat, though I'll take you gladly, even if you did forsake me in thefirst place. I'll be perfectly honest--whether you ever come tome or not--I love you, and always shall love you."

  "I know it," said Lester, getting up. He took her hands in his, andstudied her face curiously. Then he turned away. Letty paused to gether breath. His action discomposed her.

  "But you're too big a man, Lester, to settle down on ten thousand ayear," she continued. "You're too much of a social figure to drift.You ought to get back into the social and financial world where youbelong. All that's happened won't injure you, if you reclaim yourinterest in the company. You can dictate your own terms. And if youtell her the truth she won't object, I'm sure. If she cares for you,as you think she does, she will be glad to make this sacrifice. I'mpositive of that. You can provide for her handsomely, of course
."

  "It isn't the money that Jennie wants," said Lester, gloomily.

  "Well, even if it isn't, she can live without you and she can livebetter for having an ample income."

  "She will never want if I can help it," he said solemnly.

  "You must leave her," she urged, with a new touch of decisiveness."You must. Every day is precious with you, Lester! Why don't you makeup your mind to act at once--to-day, for that matter? Whynot?"

  "Not so fast," he protested. "This is a ticklish business. To tellyou the truth, I hate to do it. It seems so brutal--so unfair.I'm not one to run around and discuss my affairs with other people.I've refused to talk about this to any one heretofore--my father,my mother, any one. But somehow you have always seemed closer to methan any one else, and, since I met you this time, I have felt asthough I ought to explain--I have really wanted to. I care foryou. I don't know whether you understand how that can be under thecircumstances. But I do. You're nearer to me intellectually andemotionally than I thought you were. Don't frown. You want the truth,don't you? Well, there you have it. Now explain me to myself, if youcan."

  "I don't want to argue with you, Lester," she said softly, layingher hand on his arm. "I merely want to love you. I understand quitewell how it has all come about. I'm sorry for myself. I'm sorry foryou. I'm sorry--" she hesitated--"for Mrs. Kane. She's acharming woman. I like her. I really do. But she isn't the woman foryou, Lester; she really isn't. You need another type. It seems sounfair for us two to discuss her in this way, but really it isn't. Weall have to stand on our merits. And I'm satisfied, if the facts inthis case were put before her, as you have put them before me, shewould see just how it all is, and agree. She can't want to harm you.Why, Lester, if I were in her position I would let you go. I would,truly. I think you know that I would. Any good woman would. It wouldhurt me, but I'd do it. It will hurt her, but she'll do it. Now, markyou my words, she will. I think I understand her as well as youdo--better--for I am a woman. Oh," she said, pausing, "Iwish I were in a position to talk to her. I could make herunderstand."

  Lester looked at Letty, wondering at her eagerness. She wasbeautiful, magnetic, immensely worth while.

  "Not so fast," he repeated. "I want to think about this. I havesome time yet."

  She paused, a little crestfallen but determined.

  "This is the time to act," she repeated, her whole soul in hereyes. She wanted this man, and she was not ashamed to let him see thatshe wanted him.

  "Well, I'll think of it," he said uneasily, then, rather hastily,he bade her good-by and went away.