by KM Lowe
I smile at the thought of me and Markus growing up. I feel like this is a fantasy story, but I know Markus and I have always had a bond. He has been there for me through thick and thin. When I was bullied in primary school, he put them in their place by telling them a few home truths. It was safe to say the bullies didn't bother me again.
"How do you know I’m a wolf? You said it yourself that I'm late at maturing. Maybe I don't have a wolf." I shrug my shoulder and hope I’m on the right track
"It's impossible, honey. Your mother and father were both shifters. Your father is an Alpha. You. Are. A. Shifter."
"I don't believe any of this," I scoff, and run my hands through my long, dark hair. If I could pull it out of my scalp, I think I would. Anything just to pull me out of this nightmare and make me think of something else.
"Do you want Markus to shift?"
"W-what?" My hands tremble. "Yes. No. Eurgh. I don't know."
"Maybe it will help you see that I'm not crazy." Jasper smirks. "I feel emotions just like you, and I sense that you don't quite believe any of this."
"He won't hurt me?"
Markus jumps up from his seat and stalks towards me. His hands rest at either side of my face and he draws it up to look at him eye to eye. The twinkle is there, and I’m getting used to seeing his eyes change colour. "Wolf or human, I promise that I will never hurt you. I..."
"Don't say it."
I know he was about to say that he loves me, but I'm not ready to hear it. I love him too, but I don't think I’m in love with him. Not yet, anyway. Am I?
"Do you want me to shift?"
I can't help but notice that his voice has changed, and he sounds sad. Did I just hurt his feelings? No. Fuck. That was the last thing that I wanted to do.
"Okay."
He steps away from me and kicks his trainers off. His hoody comes next, followed by his T-shirt. What the hell? He’s beautiful. His body is well defined. His skin is lightly tanned, which enhances his muscles. My mouth hangs open and I make myself close it. I don’t need to act like a horny dog.
When he loosens his jeans, I say, "Wait! Why are you talking your clothes off?"
"It's so I have clothes to put on when I change back. If I shift with my clothes on they'll just be shredded to pieces."
"I'll turn around."
Before I turn, my eye roams up and down Jasper. He’s sitting back in his seat, legs stretched out in front of him, crossed at the ankle, his arms crossed over his chest like he’s enjoying the show. Or is he waiting for me to go batshit crazy?
I turn around and give Markus some privacy. I guess wolves don't care who sees their body, because they must be naked a lot of the time. I'm clueless. I've only read about shifters in books. I don't know what is fact or fiction anymore.
"Turn around."
What the hell? Where did that voice come from? It was like it was in my head, but curiosity gets the better of me and I turn around. I jump back at the sight of a big grey wolf standing several feet away. I bang my head off the wall and lift my hand to rub at the sore spot.
"Are you okay, doll?"
"What is that?" I turn to Jasper for answers.
"What is what?" He scrunches his eyes slightly and sits forward in his chair.
"I hear him speaking in my head. Only he can't be speaking."
"That's interesting."
Markus walks towards me and bows his head until his front paws lower flat to the ground. His head nudges my hand and I instinctively run my hands through his fur. The long, thick, soft fur. I close my eyes and let my senses takeover. The feel of his fur, the smell of his wolf, the sounds of my beating heart. I’m overloaded with emotion and I move down onto my knees before I fall down. "Does it hurt?" I ask.
"No. The first time feels weird. You feel the bones realigning, and your body changing, but the more you do it, the quicker you get."
I nod my head to let him know I understand him. "What if I don't want to shift? Can I keep it locked away?"
"I'm afraid not." Jasper clears his throat. "Holding back your beast will send you crazy. It will be fatal."
Wow!
"When the time comes I'll be here with you. I'll never leave you. That's a promise."
Hearing Markus in my head is crazy. It doesn't feel right, but it sounds exactly like him. His wolf is obviously enjoying the fact that I'm touching him, because his head burrows into my knee.
"Can you change back?"
"Of course. If you don't want to see me naked, you need to turn around."
As much as I know it’s wrong to see him naked, there’s a tiny piece of me that wants to feast my eyes over his glorious body. I’m kind of turned on right now, and I need to get a grip. I stand up and turn my back on Markus as I walked over to perch on the table beside Jasper.
"Do you have anything you want to ask?"
"I have a million questions, but right now, I want to know if I will have control over my wolf. I won't be sitting in class one day and she makes me shift. Will I feel it happen? Will I have enough time to get out?"
"Calm down." Jasper reaches out and places his hand over mine. "You will feel it. Your wolf will communicate with you. You never shift in public. Humans can't know about us. When the time comes you can come out here into the forest. My land is all secure."
"What about my family? How do I keep this from them?"
"I'm going to discuss it with the council and see what we can do. I don't think they will want us to tell them, but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Right now, you need to act normal. Don't let your parents get suspicious. I have a meeting with the council on Tuesday morning, and I'll let you know what happens. In the meantime, go about your day to day life. Enjoy it. You're only young once."
I’m not good at lying. I never have been. My parents will instantly know something is wrong. That's what makes them good parents. They know me inside and out. Clearly, since I never suspected I’m a wolf.
I was moaning last week that my life was dull, but now I'd go back to that dull lifestyle in a heartbeat. Wolves, soulmates, shifters. Whatever is going to happen next?
Chapter 5
Markus
Today has been one clusterfuck after another. To watch the girl of my dreams crumble as she was told about her life and what she was; it was physical and mental torture. I want to protect her and keep her safe. I want to make her happy. Love her with every part of me. Instead, I had to sit back and be there when she needed me. Luckily for me, Jasper is this tough, level-headed man who can be strong for us all. Nothing seems to faze him.
I just can't get the picture of Lisa's face out of my mind when Jasper told her that she’s a wolf. The colour drained from her and she looked physically sick. I don't blame her; it was a shock to her system. It was a shock for me to find out she was a wolf, never mind realising that she's my soulmate. It made my wolf very happy, but it hates being away from her.
My soulmate.
Holy fuck. I'm terrified of messing things up with Lisa already, and we've not even talked about us. I can't bear to lose her. I'm young, but if I can't have her in my life, I don't want to be here. I know that for a fact. She’s mine and I’m hers. Nothing else matters.
"Hey."
I sit up in bed just as Jasper comes into my room. He left me on my own since I came home from dropping Lisa off. He knows I need space to clear my head. "Hey."
"You okay?"
“Yip," I lie. I’m far from okay.
"Do you want to try that answer again?"
"Not really." I rest my head against the headboard.
"Have you heard from Lisa?"
I shake my head and let my imagination run away from me. What if I never hear from her again? What if she chooses to stay away from me?
"Stop overthinking things. She'll be fine, buddy. Listen, I just dropped in to let you know I'm heading to bed. I have a meeting in Edinburgh tomorrow, so I'm leaving here at seven a.m. Call me if you need me. If not, I'll see you tomorrow afternoo
n when you come home from college."
"Nae bother. Goodnight, Dad."
"Night, son."
My dad’s retreating footsteps leave my room and I hear them go all the way down to his bedroom at the other end of the hall. I take a few deep breaths and pick up my mobile phone from the bedside table. I debate texting Lisa, but I need to know she’s okay. A one-word reply will be enough to let me settle down for the night.
TO - Lisa
FROM - Markus
MSG - Hey doll, how you doing?
I put my phone down on my chest and hope and pray she will reply. I feel like some needy, love-struck puppy. I don’t want to push her away, but my wolf is going crazy in my head. Maybe if he knows she’s okay, he’ll stop the prowling.
Yeah, I can only hope.
TO - Markus
FROM - Lisa
MSG - I'm OK. You?
Really? After everything she found out today, she’s still more concerned with my wellbeing. She’s one in a million and I’m lucky to have her in my life.
TO - Lisa
FROM - Markus
MSG - I'm worried sick about you, doll. I can't relax. It's going to be a long night. Xx
I hit send and just stare at the screen, waiting for my reply. The fact that she’s replying to me is a huge weight off my shoulders. I didn't expect her to ignore my messages, but I did expect her to be short with me.
TO - Markus
FROM - Lisa
MSG - I'm OK. Honestly. I wish we could skip college tomorrow.
I read the words a few times then quickly reply before she changes her mind.
TO - Lisa
FROM - Markus
MSG - I'll pick you up at eight. We can go for breakfast and hand in our assignment at college. After that, we can come back to my house. My dad’s in Edinburgh tomorrow. We can have some peace and quiet.
I was no sooner hitting send when I got my reply.
TO - Markus
FROM - Lisa
MSG - OK. See you tomorrow. Sleep tight. Love L xxx
Love L.
A smile spreads across my lips. I've been in love with this girl for as long as I can remember, but the last six months have been torturing me. I dream about her. I daydream in classes about her. When I touch her hand, or her face, my body feels like it's on fire. I will never rush her into anything, but I don't know how long I can wait before I claim her. She’s mine. I know it. Deep down, she knows it. The whole goddamn world is going to know it before I'm finished.
I'm looking forward to going back to normal, if normal ever exists again.
***
I finally dropped off to sleep after one a.m., but I tossed and turned all night. I heard my dad's alarm going off at five, and I've been awake ever since. I've showered, had two cups of coffee, gathered my books for college, and now I’m heading out to my car. I’m anxious to get to Lisa. I need to see her to know if she really is okay, or to see if she's putting a brave face on, like I expect her to do.
The moment I’m in the car, I buckle up and head out of my driveway. Lisa only lives a short distance from me and, for that, I'm grateful. My mind and body are grateful, also. I never thought I would depend upon someone. I've always been brought up by Jasper, to rely only on him and myself. Now, it's as if my body craves and needs Lisa. The power that girl holds over me is unreal and she doesn't even know it yet. Over the last forty-eight hours, the bond has grown stronger. My love for her has grown tenfold. My need to touch her is off the charts.
I growl deep in my chest. It’s going to be a long day.
I pull up outside Lisa's driveway and beep my horn to alert her that I’m here. Her front door opens, but only Max walks out. He has his briefcase in hand, so he must be going to work. He walks over to my car and I roll the window down.
"Hi, Marky. How's things? God, you look as bad as Lisa today. She looks like she hasn't slept. What's going on?"
"Erm... I think we're just under pressure with the last few months before exams. It will be worth all of the sleepless nights," I lie, but smile as brightly as I possibly can.
"That it will, pal. Right, I best be off. I should have been at work already, but Val cut her finger this morning, so I had to tend to her first."
"Is she okay?" I show my concern, because that was what I'd normally do.
"Aye. I put a couple of butterfly stitches over her finger and dressed it. She'll live." He makes his way over to his car just as Lisa comes out of the house. She kisses her dad on his cheek before she makes her way to me. Although she looks tired, she still looks stunning. Her long, dark brown hair hangs around her shoulders in soft ringlets. Her dark, hazel eyes sparkle in the sunlight. She’s beautiful.
"Morning," I say softly as she sits in my car and rests her head back on the headrest. "You look like you haven't slept either."
"Nope. Every time I closed my eyes I could picture your wo..." She looks over her shoulder and sighs. I laugh as she looks around to make sure no one could hear what she was about to say. "Stop it!" She hit my arm.
"Sorry." I wipe my eyes from the tears that were pooling due to my laughter. "Your face though."
"Just drive, Marky. I don't find this situation funny at all. In fact, I want to run away from it all."
Just hearing her words is like a punch in the gut. Maybe she isn’t going to deal with this revelation after all. Then what?
I don't want to think about any of that today. I want to go back to having my friend beside me. The laughs and jokes. The fun. Will we ever have that again?
Only time will tell.
Chapter 6
Lisa
The morning has dragged. We arrived at college and headed straight to Biology. Our assignment was handed in, but we had to sit through the lecture. I'm counting down the minutes until we can leave. I don't think I've taken in any information because my mind is a little preoccupied. Not that there's much surprise there, because ever since I found out that I'm supposed to be a wolf, my mind has been anywhere other than the place it should be.
"Lisa?" I turn to see Markus standing with his bag slung over his shoulder. I hadn't even heard our lecturer tell us to leave. "Ready?"
"Yeah." I pack my things up quickly and stand, knocking my chair over in the process. All eyes turn to me and my cheeks flush with heat. Markus lifts my seat back up and I carry on packing up.
"Lisa, are you okay? You seem a little off today," asks my lecturer, Mr Thomson.
"Sorry. Just had a late night. I'll be fine tomorrow." I smile brightly.
Lying is becoming easy to me. I've gone from never lying to never speaking an ounce of truth.
"Good. Get an early night."
"Yes, sir." I move out of the classroom as quickly as I can. The moment I get outside, I take a deep breath in through my nose and out through my mouth. I jump when I feel hands rub my shoulders, but when I realise it’s Markus, I relax into his touch. My back hits his front and I feel every muscle against me.
"Let's get out of here," says Markus.
I’m not arguing with him, because I don’t want to be here. I want to be anywhere but here. Maybe a nice hot beach, plenty of sun, sea, and whatever else there is to offer.
One can dream.
***
We pull up outside of Markus' house and I exit his car quickly. The calm, cool air hits me and I feel lighter than I should. I feel like I'm floating across his yard until I get inside his hall. I can't help but think about the last time I was here. Everything comes flooding back to me and I close my eyes to absorb it all over again, letting every word enter my head.
Markus' arms circle my waist and he pulls me tight against his chest. The way I feel inside shocks me. That spark ignites in my tummy and the heat between my legs turns me on more. I turn in his arms, but he doesn't lighten his grip. It's as if he's terrified of letting me go in case I vanish. My chest is flat against his and his aftershave plays with my senses. My hand comes up and lands softly on his cheek, while my thumb rubs against his lips
. My exploring isn’t doing anything to the way I’m feeling, and I have no idea what will. I only know that I needed to touch Markus, and he’s letting me.
His head dips and his lips land on mine. His warm tongue probes until I open and let him explore my mouth. I should want to pull away, but I want this. Markus is my friend, for God’s sake, but that doesn’t stop me from wrapping my arms around his neck. His arms circle me and lift me off my feet easily. My legs wrap around his waist and my back hits the wall.
When we pull apart, our breathing is erratic, and our hearts are beating frantically against our chests. I close my eyes and relish the feel of every bit of our bodies touching. The only thing wrong with this picture is the fact that we have clothes in the way.
"This shouldn't be happening," I manage to squeak out, even though my head is telling me how wrong I am.
"This is going to happen, baby. Whether it’s now, next week, or in ten years. We're meant to be together. Tell me you don't feel this." His eyes connect with mine and I can't tell him, because I do feel it. Well, I feel something. I’ve never been as turned on in my life. The closest I’ve come to orgasms is with my own fingers, or experimenting with the shower head, and that's all thanks to the books I've read.
"I love you, Lisa. I always have in some crazy way, but the way I feel about you now is... intense. It's driving me crazy. Being around you, but not being able to touch you, care for you, love you, is torture. I know this is all fucked up. I know you need time."
"I don't know what to do or say, Markus. I've never..." I stop myself from telling him I'm a virgin and hope that my rosy red cheeks will explain what I’m trying to say.
When his thumb lifts my chin, I make myself look into his eyes. I swear I can see into his soul if I look closely enough. "Me too. I haven't been with anyone. We both know this about one another though, because we're never apart."
"I..." I shake my head and try to move away from Markus, but he doesn't let my legs drop back to the floor. His hips have me pinned to the wall and I can feel his hard on through my leggings.
"Just be honest with me, babe. Tell me what you're thinking. We won't get anywhere if you don't talk."
