by KM Lowe
"I guess I did, but I fell in love with you, Marky. I might not be your biological father, but you're my son. I will always be here for you, to guide you, to look out for you, and to make sure you become a good father to your own pups."
"I can't get my head around this. I need to get back to Lisa. She's waiting for her drink." I shake my head and dismiss myself from this conversation.
I turn and head up the stairs into the main house. The moment I shut the basement door, I lean up against it and take in a deep breath.
I know now that Lisa's going to need me. Not just as her soulmate or friend, but as her protector. That's if she'll have me.
I grab our cans of Irn Bru and head back to my room. Before I open the door, I take another deep breath, put a smile on my face, and push open the door. When I enter the room, I take in Lisa's sleeping body. She looks like an angel. Her body is curled into a ball and her hair falls behind her ear on to my white pillow; it looks like silk. On many occasions, I've dreamt about running my hands through her hair and confessing my love to her, but I've always kept to a platonic friendship. I love this girl with every piece of my heart and soul. I'd do anything to have her in my life, and if that's by being her friend, so be it.
I can do friends.
Chapter 4
Lisa
I was running freely through the thick green forest, the wind sweeping through my hair. The smell of the spring air, wild flowers, early morning dew on the trees; it was exhilarating and made me speed up. I was free. My body felt as light as air as my paws hit the ground below me. My body was alive.
"Lisa..." I looked over my shoulder slightly to see a big, grey wolf running after me playfully. "I told you I'd catch you, baby. I promised I'd never leave you."
"Markus."
What’s going on? Why are we wolves? How can I hear him?
"The one and only, baby. Now run. Let me beat you to the clearing up ahead."
I had no idea what he was talking about, but I didn't want to stop. Whatever was happening here, I knew I was happy. I'd never felt as at ease before in my life. Excitement, adrenalin, power; it all ran freely through my veins.
My heart thumped in my chest the faster I got. My paws ploughed through the damp dirt, throwing up a dust cloud around me. I felt Markus at my back, but before I could go faster, he overtook me. "Keep up, gorgeous."
He was huge.
My eyes focused on the wolf in front of me, but the farther he got, the harder it was for me to see him.
"Markus." Panic set in and I couldn't see where he went. “Markus!" Panic turned to hysteria, and I turned into... wait a minute. I looked down at my hands. My naked body. I was human. I was me. What the fuck?
As quick as my thoughts turned to me, I was back to looking for Markus. "Markus!"
Where is he? He can't leave me. He promised.
I sank to the ground on my knees and winced as the pain radiated through my bare legs. The tears rolled down my face as reality sank into me.
I'm alone. I have no one.
No one.
"Markus!" I scream.
The sound of my own fear terrifies me.
"Lisa. It's okay, doll. Wake up."
I launch myself into an upright position with my breath coming out in quick pants. I look around the masculine room to realise I fell asleep in Markus' bed. It was just another dream, only this time it was different. I wasn't alone. Markus was a... wolf.
I'm losing the plot.
"Are you okay, babe? You scared the shit out of me."
"Sorry."
I throw my arms around his neck and bury my face into his neck. The smell of his aftershave assaults my senses and my body relaxes, but a fire starts in the pit of my stomach.
What the fuck is happening to me? Markus is my best friend and I'm throwing myself at him and feeling weird things for him. Get a grip.
"Sorry," I say again as I pull back and sit against his pillows.
"Don't be sorry, babe. I'm here for you. Always."
"Stop saying that, Markus." I sigh.
"No. I mean it. What happened in that dream?"
I shake my head, not wanting to talk about it, but I know Markus will be like a dog with bone until he gets answers. "I lost you. I was a wolf. We... were wolves. One minute you were there, the next you were gone. Then I changed into a human. I'm losing my mind, Markus. I'm so tired of it all."
I’m beginning to feel physically and mentally exhausted. These dreams aren’t only taking over my unconscious state, now they're plaguing my every waking minute. I don’t even know why they’re bothering me so much. It isn’t like there can be any truth to them. It’s just a lot of nonsense, but I do believe they’re trying to give me a message, but what? That’s the question I can’t answer.
"You're not. You're..."
Knock knock.
The knock on the door cuts Markus off from saying any more, and Jasper walks in. His back is poker straight, his arms tense, and I can see his muscles through the material of his T-shirt.
"Can you both come into the living room?"
I look between Markus and Jasper, searching for a hint of what this is all about, but there’s nothing. They're both on edge, that's obvious to anyone, but why?
I get off the bed before Markus and head down the hall into the living room. I know this house like the back of my hand. If I'm not at home, I'm here. It's like a second home for me, and I love being here. I'm not so sure I'm going to love what's coming next though.
"What's going on, Jasper?" I ask, the moment my feet enter the large room. It's bright, spacious, and homely.
"Come and sit down, honey."
I look over my shoulder to see Markus leaning against the door frame with his arms crossed over his chest. I turn and take a seat next to Jasper. He makes me feel small because he's so huge. Why he doesn't have a wife, I'll never know, because he's such a gentleman.
"Okay. What I'm about to say is going to turn your world upside down. What I want is for you to promise me that you'll be open and not hide your thoughts and feelings. I'm here to help in any way I can."
I sit up straighter and grasp the cushion so tightly the material digs into my fingers. "Jasper, you're scaring the shit out of me. Are my parents okay?"
"They're fine. This is about you. Markus confided in me about your nightmares."
I shoot a look over my shoulder to show Markus that I'm not amused with him talking to his dad about me. "I... It's nothing," I stutter and relax back into the couch.
"It isn't nothing."
My eyes look up, but my body doesn't move. Why is it not nothing? I feel uneasy around Jasper for the first time ever. My head is thinking up all sorts. My body is on edge. I don’t know what to think for the best.
"What? How do you know?"
"Because there's a lot of truth in it." I laugh out loud, because how can there be truth in it? Like, seriously, it’s all fictional nonsense. "I knew your birth mother." My laughter ceases and I still in my seat. "She was our Alpha's bit on the side, I guess you could call it. She was my friend before he dug his claws in. He wanted a son to take over from him when the time came. Your mother was captured and fell pregnant. The night you were born, your father dragged you out of her arms and took you away. As he left the room with you, your mum bled out. I arrived just as the Alpha was leaving his cabin, but your mum was in a bad way. She was hysterical that he took you, Lisa. She made me promise that I'd look out for you. I did just that before she... died. That night I left the pack. I took a position as an enforcer with our council, and my sole priority was to look out for you. Teach you about yourself when that time came. Your nightmares are an indication that the time is near."
I sit watching Jasper’s lips move, but I’m struggling to piece all the information together. What is he talking about? Wolves, Alphas, enforcers. None of it makes sense.
"Lisa, do you understand what I'm telling you?"
"No." I clear my throat. “Why do the nightmares indicate that it's t
ime? What does it mean?" I ask in a hurry. I need the answers yesterday. I've never been a patient person, but right now, my patience is non-existent.
"It means that your wolf is ready to make her appearance. Usually, a wolf shifter matures enough to shift in their early teens, but you've been suppressing your wolf because you didn't understand she was there. I shifted for the first time when I was thirteen years old. Markus shifted for the first time when he was fifteen."
"What?" I turn to Markus who hasn't moved from the door frame. His eyes never leave the floor as I study him. He’s nervous. Sad. I can feel these emotions from him, just like I've always been able to read him. "He's a wolf. You're a wolf. My mum is dead. Do my mum and dad know all of this?" I speak as fast as I can just to get all my questions out before I forget.
"Calm down, honey. To answer your questions, no one knows. Just us, and now you."
"My mum is dead." The tears roll down my cheeks for the woman I've never known. For the woman I despised for leaving me on a hospital doorstep, only she never did that.
Although I've had a good life, and I've never thought much of my birth mother, I always had some hope that she would come looking for me one day. Now I'll never have that chance. She never had that chance.
"She loved you, Lisa. She would have fought to find you if she..."
I stand up and walk over to Markus, just in time for him to wrap his arms round me. It’s his arms that keep me standing. His arms that let me get my emotions out in the open.
Am I really going to grieve for someone I've never met? Yes. I feel the pain and hurt my mother must have endured to bring me into this world. She had no one fighting her corner. She was alone when she needed someone the most.
"It's okay, doll. I'm never going anywhere. I promise."
I pull back slightly so our faces are centimetres away from one another. His eyes are twinkling, and I feel a pull to place my lips on his.
Why am I feeling this way?
As if Markus read my mind, he bends his head and places his lips over mine. A spark ignites inside of me and my hands roam up his chest. He pulls away and smiles down at me brightly. He’s looking at me like I’m his entire world. Why have I never seen this before? Why now?
"Did you know about me?" I sobbed.
"No. I only found out this afternoon after I left you to get drinks. When you mentioned a wolf in your dreams, I had to tell Jasper. When I came back into my room, you were sleeping. By the time you woke up, Jasper was coming in to get us. If I knew, I would've told you. I promise you that."
I rest my forehead against Markus' chest and take a few moments to get everything settled in my head. His hands run up and down my arms and the connection is exactly what I need, although I don’t understand why I need him so much.
The dreams, the weird connection I have to Markus. Jasper's possessiveness. I’m a wolf.
I’m a wolf.
I need air.
I push away from Markus and run for the front door. The moment I’m outside, I lean over the porch railings and place my head in my hands. This feels like a nightmare. None of it feels real.
"Lisa. Are you okay?"
Markus' voice echoes around me and I still my racing mind. I was doing what I do best; overthinking.
"This is fucked up, Marky." I breathe heavily in and out, trying to calm my racing pulse and erratic breathing. "What am I supposed to do with this information? How can I go home to my family like this? How can I hide this from everyone? Surely people will know when I start turning into a goddamn wolf." I yell louder with each question I throw at him.
The more I speak, the more my head spins. The more my head spins, the harder it is for me to think straight.
"Where is my birth father now?"
"I don't know, doll. Come inside and we'll ask my dad. He'll be the best one to answer any questions you have. It's all news to me as well, although I've known about my shifting ability my whole life. Come with me."
I turn to face Markus and his hand outstretches towards me. I look from his hand to his eyes and back again, before I place my trembling hand in his. The moment we get inside, I stop dead. My mind is on overdrive.
"You called your dad Jasper earlier. Is he your dad?"
"No." Markus clears his throat and pulls me closer to his body. "Jasper saved me when I was a baby. He is my dad in every sense of the word. He takes care of me. Provides for me. Teaches me all I need to know. He just isn't my biological father."
"Jasper seems like a saint," I say, more to myself than anyone else.
"I'm far from a saint, sweetheart."
I spin around at the sound of Jasper's deep voice. Why am I acting like this? I know I’m safe with Jasper. He has looked out for me my whole life, even when I didn't know it. I guess it all makes sense now, but it still doesn't stop me from backing into Markus' embrace. His hands land on my hips and the lightning bolt shoots through my stomach. My skin prickles and something stirs inside of me.
"What..." I focus on Markus' hand for a moment too long before I turn my attention to Jasper. We're standing in the middle of his hallway, and suddenly I have a million things running through my head.
"Why don't I make us some coffee? We can talk."
"No offence, Jasper, but I doubt I’ll be able to eat or drink anything. My stomach feels like a washing machine. My head isn't much better."
"Okay. Well, let's sit down. I know you'll have a lot of questions. It's only to be expected."
Is it? I have no idea how I’m supposed to react. All I know is I'm neither angry nor scared. I'm confused as fuck, and hopefully, when I calm down, I'll take something in.
Before I sit down at the dining table, I repeat my question. "Where is my birth father now?"
"He's been on the run for a lot of years. After I left the pack, after I become a member of the council, I made it my priority to free the pack of that animal. He got away with his band of minions. He hasn't been seen or heard of since. It's like he disappeared."
"Does he know where I am?"
"I don't know." Jasper shakes his head.
"What aren't you telling me? Am I in danger?" Curiosity spikes within me and goose bumps spread along my skin, making the hair stand on end.
"You will never be in danger as long as I breathe. I will protect you and honour my promise to your mother."
I flop down on the chair in an unladylike way, and Markus takes the chair beside me, grasping my hand in his. "What is going on with this..." I use my spare hand to motion between Markus and me.
"What do you mean, doll?"
What do I mean?
"This connection. It’s never been there before. It’s like an electric current running through me every time you touch me."
Markus looks to Jasper, and when he nods in my direction, he turns to face me head on. "I've already matured into a wolf shifter. I've had my first shift. After that happened, I started having feelings for you. Not friendship feelings." He shakes his head and takes a deep breath. "I’ve always loved you as a friend, but these feelings were different. I kept it to myself because I didn't want to lose you. But now I know it’s because you're my soulmate."
Soulmate. What is this, a fairy tale?
I pull my hand out of Markus' like he burnt me. I don’t understand any of it and I know I have to listen. I need to know what I am. What he is.
"Wolves only have one true partner. Yes, we can sleep with whoever we like, but our wolves only ever connect with one person. When they identify that person, their soul becomes alive. It becomes aware of its other half. The wolf is only satisfied after the mating takes place," explains Jasper. "Markus' wolf has identified its one true soulmate. You can deny it all you like, but when you mature, you won't be able to. Markus' wolf will drive him crazy until you bond with him."
"Next you'll be telling me that witches and dragons are real..."
When I look between Markus and Jasper, my eyes widen like saucers. "Shut. The... You're not serious?"
Quest
ioning their silence seems like the only thing I can do without making myself sound stupid.
"You have a lot to learn when you're ready. Right now, you need to come to terms with the fact that you're a wolf shifter."
"Yeah. Good one, Jasper. Just spring everything on me, but I just need to accept it and move on. This changes everything. My whole life has been turned upside down in the blink of an eye. I can't just accept it. I'm not a wolf!" I push off my chair, sending it crashing to the ground. Neither Jasper nor Markus move, but the sound of the chair crashing brings me back to my senses. I bend down and pick it up as tears fall from my eyes. Again.
"I know this is a lot to take in. I understand. It can be a lot for us to get our heads around and we've lived with it forever."
I shake my head and pace up and down the dining room. My body is on high alert. My senses are enhanced. I can practically hear my heart pounding in my ears. The blood rushing through my veins like a freight train. I feel like a ticking time bomb waiting to erupt.
"Where do you go when you go on work trips?"
Yeah, bizarre question. My life has spiralled out of control and the first thing I want to know is about Jasper.
"They are work trips. I told you that I'm now an enforcer on the council. We deal with rogues, packs that break the rules, and anything out of the ordinary that we need to take care of. Our main concern is keeping our secret. If anything jeopardizes that, we step in. If any pack is in trouble, we step in. My job is to make everything better again. I run my own property development company in the real world. That's what keeps Markus and me living this lifestyle."
"Packs. Why isn't Markus in a pack?"
"Because I saved him from his pack. I guess you could say that I adopted him. I would’ve done the same with you, if I found you in time. By the time I found you, you were already adopted. I knew Val and Max would look after you, but I moved to Anderson and set up a life for myself. When I adopted Markus, it was easy to get to know your family. I took Markus to mother and toddler meetings at the church hall. I was the only father there and Val made me welcome. I should have known that you and Markus were soulmates, because you instantly become friends. You've been together ever since. Toddlers. Nursery, school, high school..."
