I kissed the vein pulsing in his temple. “I don’t really care what she thinks of me, Ben. I’m more concerned with what she meant by that last comment, about seeing who has more influence in the city. How much can she hurt you?”
Intense green eyes turned to me. “If she chooses, she can destroy me.”
Well, shit.
Chapter 15
After snuggling on his sofa most of the afternoon watching Stephen King’s, The Stand, Ben leaned against his office door with pleading puppy-dog eyes. “Are you certain you won’t stay?”
I sighed and took his hand, rested my cheek against his. “Remember what I said about slowing things down?”
His nod rubbed his five o’clock shadow against my skin. “I do. I’ll stop pressuring you.”
A moronic giggle bubbled up my throat. “Thank you. Besides, I don’t have any clothes, and I don’t want you sending your staff out every day to pick up more.” I tipped my face up to his, a pang of guilt seizing my guts. “I’m sorry about everything with your mother. If I’d known what she was like, I would have run for the hills when you gave me the chance for your sake. For what it’s worth, the way you stood up for me was totally hot.”
Laughter boomed in his chest. When it dwindled, he pressed his lips to mine. “Then no matter what comes to pass, it will have been worth it.”
We locked gazes for a while. I stepped back with unwilling feet. “Well … I really should go.”
“I’ll call you a car.”
I held up my hand. “No, I’ll take a cab. You said Richard has supper with your mother every Saturday night, anyway, so he shouldn’t be on the prowl.”
When he dug in his back pocket, I grabbed his arm. “You pay me well, Ben. Don’t even think about giving me cab fare.”
A crooked grin twitched his lips. “You are most definitely not like any woman I’ve met before.”
I did a mock curtsy, feet crossed, bent at the knee. My mouth curved to match his. “I’ll take that as a compliment, sir, now get the hell out of my way so I can go home.”
* * * *
Monday morning idiot users kept me occupied until nearly eleven o’clock. In need of a break from the morons in Research and Development who’d jammed their printer for the fifth time in half an hour, I headed up to see Brent.
When I neared his desk, the clacking of keys met my ears. Grinning like a crazy woman, my face radiating heat, I dug a roll of bills out of my pocket as I approached Brent’s desk and smacked it down on the surface.
Brent looked at the money and up at me, his smile slowly emerging.
I shook my head. “Shut up.”
His arms shot toward the ceiling. “Yes!” He stomped his feet before jumping up and bouncing around his desk. “I knew you’d hit that hotness.”
My skin prickled. “Would you shut up! The whole damn country is going to hear you.”
Brent covered his mouth with a well-manicured hand but the giggles still came through. Between spread fingers, he whispered, “I want details.”
I gasped, my mouth hanging open. “You can want them all you like, but you’re not getting them.”
With a grunt, he slumped back as if he were going to fold down to the floor like a marionette whose strings had been cut. “Fine, be that way.” His sparkling eyes centered on me again. “At least tell me if it was good.”
My head hung forward for a moment. I sighed, looked left and right and moved closer to him. “Good doesn’t quite cover it.”
He jumped around in a circle before grabbing both my hands and staring at me from an inch away. “Give me another word then. Please?”
I took a few steps away, feigned interest in a piece of art on the walls. My shoulders lifted in a shrug. “I suppose ‘delicious’ would do it.” I turned, biting my bottom lip as I headed back to the elevator.
His voice bounced down the corridor. “Oh, come on! You can’t give me that look and word and not tell me.”
Laughing, I pushed the button, waving at him with my other hand. “Have a nice day, Brent.”
* * * *
At three thirty, Cam showed up at my desk. “Grab your notebook and a pen. Mr. Hathaway wants us in his office, now.”
My brow crinkled as I cranked my head around to stare at him. “Why?” What are you up to, Ben? The thought of being in the same room with Mr. Hotness and Cam filled my stomach with acid. I needed to keep my wits about me. All I needed was to have Cam catch me ogling his boss like a horny groupie at a rock concert.
Cam scratched his head. “I don’t question the big guy, Eva, and neither should you.”
“Oh, right.” I forced my face into a solemn mask. “Forgot, sorry, boss.” I found my notebook buried beneath a stack of old computer soundcards in my desk. After snatching a pen from Paul’s shirt pocket despite his protest, I followed Cam out into the hall.
Five minutes later, we stood outside Ben’s office door. Cam’s scrawny chest heaved under the deep breath he took, and his fingers curled and relaxed.
I stared at his profile. “You okay, Cam? You look as if you’re about to go up against a firing squad.” Out of the corner of my eye, I caught Brent’s smirk where he feigned interest in a paper on his desk.
“Might as well be.” Cam shook his arms out and stared at me. “Just psyching myself up for whatever ass-ripping I’m about to get.”
A snort broke free of my lips. “Jeez, he’s not that bad.” I opened the door and went inside.
He followed behind me, grumbling. “Easy for you to say. It’s not your face he’s going to chew off.”
I took a few steps into the office, a bright swath of sunlight dividing the carpet into dark and light.
“Good morning, Ms. Ross.”
A gasp escaped me as I whirled to find Ben leaning against the wall beside the door, hands in his pockets, his gray suit jacket pushed aside to accommodate them. All Calvin Klein-ad again. Warm tingles started at my toes and made a slow ascent to my face. My world narrowed to those emerald gems twinkling back at me, staring into me so deep he could probably see my next life if I had one.
“Eva!”
I blinked at Cam’s shout beside me and narrowed my eyes at him. “What?”
Wide-eyed, his head gestured toward the floor.
Right, I wasn’t supposed to look at the big boss. I shrugged. “Sorry.”
Hands in his pockets and gaze fixed on the far window, Cam stepped toward Ben. “What can we do for you, Mr. Hathaway?”
“Come, let’s sit and we’ll talk about the IT budget for the next quarter.” Ben walked past me, close enough his shoulder brushed mine. From that tiny point of contact, a lightning bolt spiraled down my spine and started an inferno between my legs.
I shut my eyes and swallowed to keep the sigh from escaping. What is he doing? I never sat in on budget meetings. Butterfly wings wandered the expanse of my empty stomach, and not all of them from lust. He was up to something; I could smell it.
Something warm touched my arm. I flinched and looked down to find Cam’s hand resting just below my elbow.
“You coming, Eva?” His bushy brows bunched together. “You feeling okay?”
A nervous giggle trickled up my throat. I shook myself and headed toward the sofa where a grinning Ben lounged like a well-dressed god at one end. “I’m fine. I was just … thinking about something.” How I’d like to smack your boss across the head—or impale myself on his giant tube steak.
The sight of Ben, one arm stretched along the back of the leather, tempted me to take the seat beside him, but my logical side forced me to the chair farthest from his yummy body. Cam took the other chair.
The two of them droned on about equipment and numbers while I kept my gaze below Ben’s knees. The act did nothing to stop my mind from spinning nasty scenarios for Ben and I to play out in his office. On the computer desk. Against the wall between the paintings. Ben bending me over the back of the sofa.
“Eva!”
My gaze snapped to Cam and my cheek
s burned. “What?”
“Mr. Hathaway asked you if you can think of anything else you need for the surveillance system so we can add it to the budget.” I could read the “snap out of it” in the tightness around his mouth as well as if he’d said the words.
“Uh…” I scratched my head. Unable to reengage my brain, I slid forward in my chair and kept my gaze on Cam. “Nothing comes to mind, but can I think about it and get back to you?”
His eyebrows shot up.
“That will be fine, Mr. Jones.” Ben’s smooth voice wrapped around me like a silk scarf. “Now, I need a word with Ms. Ross. I expect the report by tomorrow morning.”
Cam stood, looking back and forth between Ben and me. “Sure thing, Mr. Hathaway.” He glared a warning at me before rushing to the door.
The instant the door clicked shut, Ben slid forward, grabbed me by the wrist, and pulled me onto the sofa with him.
“What are you doing?” Pinning him with my glare, I wiggled free and stood. “That was painful, bringing me here with Cam. I should walk out right now.” I crossed my arms.
Ben snickered and came to stand in front of me. “I just couldn’t help it. You’re very cute when you squirm.”
A mutinous grin crept up on me. I shoved him away with my palm to his chest. “Ass.”
He grabbed my wrist and brought my fingers to his lips, drawing one into his mouth.
I held my breath while he wrapped his tongue around my digit and sucked. “I’m still working, Ben. Please don’t start something we can’t finish now.”
While nuzzling my ear, his strong arms looped around my waist and pulled me against him. His stiff cock pressed against my crotch. “Make an exception, just this once.” His sweet breath fanned across my lips before they pressed against mine.
My need swelled as my conscience screamed at me. “Maybe I could stay late today and make up the time?”
“Done.”
Damn, I was easy. A growl burned in my throat as I pushed Ben back down on the sofa. Smiling at him, I unbuttoned my dress shirt slowly, passing my tongue across my top lip.
He squirmed, his pants straining to contain him. I shrugged out of the cotton and tossed it aside, my royal blue bra standing out against my pale skin. Before unbuckling my belt, I turned my back to him, unzipped and shimmied the fabric down my thighs to expose the matching blue thong I’d worn that day.
His arms came from behind, startling a squeal from me. Insistent hands pulled up my bra and cupped my breasts, kneading, pinching. God, that was good! His kisses smoldered on my throat, inducing a sigh to rise from my toes. He grabbed my arm to turn me, but I took his hand and led him around to the back of the sofa.
His dark snicker tickled my spine. “What are you up to, Ms. Ross?”
I shoved the panties down my legs and kicked them away, making sure he got a big ole eyeful, turned and gripped the leather upholstery. “Shut up and fuck me, Mr. Hathaway.”
A zip preceded the swish of fabric. The crinkling of a condom wrapper filled the heavy silence, and he moved away for an agonizing moment. One hand gripped my hip and the other guided the smooth head of his cock along my slick crevice. With a grunt, he stabbed into me, glorious pleasure invading me like a drug-induced dream. His fingers reached around and stroked my swollen nub, and his other hand slid up my chest while he leaned down and pressed his against my back.
Our grunts and moans rose and fell in time with Ben’s vigorous thrusts. I gripped the leather an instant before my orgasm hit me like a tidal wave, tearing a scream from my throat. My sheath contracted around him, bringing his conclusion a moment later with a low, throaty growl.
We slid down to the floor, and I lay in the crook of his arm. My new favorite place to be. “Holy hell,” I said between panted breaths. “You really know how to throw a budget meeting.”
He uttered a lazy chuckle, his free hand rising with languid movements, and shoved sweaty hair from his forehead. “Holy heaven would work too. Though with that naughty look in your eyes earlier, maybe not.”
I laughed, the action adding to the cloud of euphoria I floated on. My words came out muffled with my face pressed against his throat. “We should go out on a date tonight, dinner, maybe a movie.”
Ben’s muscles hardened to stone beneath me.
Propped on my elbow, I looked down at him, but he averted his eyes. “What did I say? You’re stiff as a board.”
After a moment, he met my gaze, his body softening. “I’d rather cook for you and watch a movie here, if it’s all the same to you.”
An idea assembled in the face of his utter fear. “Ben, are you agoraphobic?”
Head cocked in thought, he sat up and stared out the window. “I’ve never considered it before. I always thought I was just…” With a frown, he stood and gathered his clothes.
“You’re not a coward, Ben Hathaway, if that’s what you were going to say.” My tone came out sharper than I meant it to. “If you do have a fear of crowds, then I know it can be crippling.” I climbed to my feet and kissed the back of his shoulder. “Maybe you should talk to someone about it, find out if staying in is just a habit or if you really do have a phobia. Which is nothing to be ashamed of, if you do. Lots of people have them. I hate spiders, and usually run screaming like a lunatic when I see one.”
Ben hesitated for a moment before winding his arms around my waist. “What would I do without you?”
“Uh…” My snickers wouldn’t be contained. “Wear out your hands and go back to tormenting lowly employees?”
“I’m serious.” He spun and brushed the backs of his fingers along my temple. “You make me feel alive again.”
My eyes stung. I blinked and moved away to gather my clothes. “Don’t you dare make me cry, Ben. I mean it.”
His laughter induced my own. “My apologies. But I still meant what I said.”
As I dressed, I thought about my own cowardice. I’d had my birth mother’s letter for days and it still sat unopened on my dresser at home. If I expected him to be brave, maybe I could be brave too.
Chapter 16
Early Tuesday morning I stood outside Ben’s office with my birth mother’s letter clutched in my fingers. My nerve weakened every second my hand hovered above the door handle. “God, this is stupid.” Scowling, I went inside.
Ben appeared at the top of the stairs, wiping his hands on a towel. His eyes widened and he sped down the stairs. “Evangeline. What’s happened?”
“Nothing, I just…” My gaze darted to my hand.
“What are you holding?” His voice softened as he strode closer. “Your hand is shaking.”
“I’ve had this letter from my birth mother for a week now and I’m too much of a coward to read it. I thought—I wondered if…” Cold wandered my veins in a slow crawl. What would it say? She’d written it thirty-five years ago. Would she have forgotten me by now? I gave myself a mental shake. Why would it even matter to me—words changed nothing. “Never mind. I need to get to work.”
I started for the door in the grips of an overwhelming urge to flee, but Ben sidestepped to block my path. His fingers brushed my cheek and smeared a tear I didn’t know had escaped. “Would you like me to read it to you?”
“No.” I shook my head, sending a fan of hair across my eyes. I scrubbed the wetness from my face. “I’m not ready for this. I thought I could show you I could be brave so maybe you—I shouldn’t have—”
“I think you came here hoping I’d give you a push.” His fingers curled around mine and pulled the yellowed envelope out of my grasp. “Sit with me.”
Is that why I came? I’d convinced myself I’d be bolder in Ben’s presence the way I was with Dad, that I’d open the letter simply because I didn’t want him to think of me as weak. Nothing about Ben challenged me. Everything about him drew me in and made me want to be vulnerable with him, to share every part of myself, even the corner of my soul where the sappy, sentimental fool lived. But why? I just met the guy. I shouldn’t have fallen so far
so fast. Maybe Mom had been right all along, that I’d been doomed since the moment I’d laid eyes on him and no amount of fighting it would have enabled me to walk away.
Ben sat on the sofa and gazed up at me, his smile sad beneath the tenderness of his eyes.
I hesitated in front of him, wringing my hands together.
“Why are you so nervous?”
Hyperaware of my fidgeting, I stuffed my hands into my pockets so I wouldn’t be tempted. I shrugged. “I don’t even know. It’s so stupid. My whole life I thought she didn’t want me, and I know that letter says otherwise.” I dug the toe of my black shoe into the carpet, staring at him through my hair. “I should want to read it, right? I should be excited, not on the verge of blubbering like an idiot or barfing all over your floor.” I tugged one hand out of my pocket and tossed it up.
“Are you afraid it will affect how you feel about your adoptive parents?”
As I considered it, my brow wrinkled. “I don’t think so. They’ve done a pretty good job making me question them on their own.”
“Is it because you don’t like to cry?”
I snorted. “Nobody likes to cry, Ben.”
“You more than most, I think. When I saw your tears that day in my office, I think it was the first time I truly saw … you, the one beneath the outspoken smartass.”
I gave a nervous laugh before I remembered to scowl. “Hey!”
“I’m not like your father, Evangeline, if what I gathered through what you said about him is true. I don’t see emotion as a weakness.” He took my hand and pulled me down beside him.
Unable to bear watching him open the letter, I turned to face the far end of the sofa and drew my knees up. Ben shifted, wrapped his arm around my shoulders and gathered me against his chest.
Crossing Hathaway Page 14
