“If I had known about Nikki, I wouldn’t have blurted out about being pregnant,” she says through her tears.
“Come on. Let’s sit down and we can talk.” I take her hand, lead her to the couch, and we sit down. No words I say are going to make what I’ve done easier to deal with.
“Can I get you anything?”
“No. Logan, I feel awful.”
“Sick?”
“No. I feel bad for you.”
“Lee MacKay, I feel bad enough for me without you feeling sorry for me. I think we need to be completely honest with each other. What do you say?”
“I say I’m going to drop Jess a text and tell her I’m taking tomorrow off.” She smiles and I know she’s staying here with me. For tonight, anyway.
“Do that. I’ll grab us some water.”
She’s exactly where I left her moments ago. Only now her shoes are off and she’s sitting on the couch with her feet tucked up, making herself at home. She looks comfortable and more relaxed. I join her on the couch, angling my body so I’m facing her.
As I look at her, I know deep down in my heart that I couldn’t stay away from her even if I tried.
“I’m sorry,” she says.
“I’m the one who should be sorry. Your news took me back to a place I didn’t want to be.”
“I understand that considering what happened.” I take her hands in mine because no matter what else is said between us, she has to know that I’m here for her. “I know you’re scared, but you’re not the only one. I want you to be a part of our baby’s life.”
“Ssh, stop there.” I kiss her hands, keeping my eyes on her. She looks puzzled. “I want to be a part of your life too, not just our baby’s.”
“Really?”
“Yes, really. Lee, I love you but I’m terrified that I’ll lose you.”
“You love me?”
“Is there an echo? Yes, I love you.” I lean forward and press a soft, chaste kiss to her lips. I long for more but, under the circumstances, that would be wrong on so many levels. “Lee, a friend told me that I should make the most of life and stop living in the past. In order for me to do that, I need to tell you everything.”
“Okay, I’m listening, but it won’t change how I feel about you.” I smile because, even though she hasn’t said the words directly to me, I’ve heard them and that’s good enough for me.
“Nikki and I met just after my eighteenth birthday. She was a lovely, sweet girl. She lacked confidence but we hit it off. We had been dating for a few months when she told me she was pregnant. It came as a complete surprise to me. I took it for granted she was on the pill. Not once was protection discussed.” I see a smirk on her face and I know what she’s thinking. Sounds familiar.
“We split up for a while and I went a bit off the rails. What the hell was I going to do with a kid at eighteen? I could hardly look after myself, let alone Nikki and a baby. My football career was really starting to take off. I didn’t want to be tied down. Nikki didn’t cope well after we split up. She was suicidal and ended up in hospital, and I made the decision after that that I would be there for her and the baby. I thought at the time that I loved her, and maybe in some small way I did, but my feelings for her were nothing compared to what I have for you.”
She leans forward and this time she presses a brief kiss to my lips. “I love you Logan Walker.”
I exhale a long sigh of contentment, her presence along with her words bringing me joy and happiness.
“I had just got my act together as far as Nikki and the baby were concerned when her car was hit by another as she was coming to pick up my drunken arse from a night out with the lads. She died at the scene. I still blame myself for that night. Lives were lost, including my own. Your words hit me hard last Wednesday. My world started spinning and I didn’t like the direction it was heading. All I could see was my past colliding with my future.”
“You can’t go through life blaming yourself for an accident. Because that what it was. I hate that you’ve suffered and are still suffering, but you have to move on. I’m not saying forget about Nikki, because that would be wrong. She played a part in your life. As my friend says, she wouldn’t change her past because it’s her past that makes her who she is today.”
Jess. “Well, you have a very special friend who has a lot of strength.”
“I do, and I believe she’s right. I know we’ve not done anything in the right order, but I hope to make things right between us.”
“We have time to make things right between us. Spend time as a couple before our baby gets here,” I say, watching her as her eyes glisten with what I hope are happy tears. Her smile broadens in approval of my words. “Are you okay?” I pull her into my arms.
“I’m more than okay.”
“Glad to hear it. Now that you’ve taken tomorrow off work, what would you like to do?”
“I want to wake up with your arms wrapped around me, then I’m happy to spend the day doing whatever you want to do.”
“That can be arranged.”
She shifts position, her gaze in line with mine, and stares with longing filling those gorgeous blue eyes.
I reach my arms around her, holding the nape of her neck. We’re close, our lips almost touching. “I love you, Lee MacKay. We have all the time in the world. And I for one don’t want to waste anymore of our precious time together. I’m going to call Peter tonight and ask his permission for some time off in the next few weeks, and as soon as I know when, we can go away for a few days. Spend some quality time together. I just need to wait until I’m back in his good books.”
She closes the gap between our mouths. “That sounds like a very good idea.” Her lips meet mine and all my troubles seem to slip effortlessly away. Tonight there are no shadows of my past haunting me. There’s only Lee. She’s finally unlocked my heart that was hidden away. Lee MacKay is all my hopes and dreams.
She is my future.
Lee
LYING HERE IN his arms, I know he’s awake. I sense it, but I take a moment to enjoy the warmth of his body against mine, his arms wrapped around me, holding me close. This is just the way I imagined waking up in his arms. I’m hoping it’s the first of many mornings together.
We spent most of the night talking; mostly about us and the baby, but also about our hopes and fears. And we both have plenty of those.
It’s funny how talking something through with someone suddenly makes it seem so much better. Today, everything already seems clearer; there’s no thick fog lingering in my head. Today is about us, no one else, although Logan asked if we can re-arrange a hospital visit. He’d like to come along with me, hear what care I’m going to receive and see his baby on the screen. I couldn’t hide my happiness at his request and I’m more than happy to go along for another appointment. It means we both get to see our baby so I’m going to phone the hospital today and find out if we can be seen.
Jess expected me to take today off. She was happy to hear that Logan and I are going to try and be happy together instead of being miserable alone. Logan also called Peter last night to apologise for his recent behaviour and to ask for today off. When Logan explained why, he was more than happy to oblige. It seems everyone wants us to be together. We were the only two who couldn’t admit it or see what the other wanted.
“Good morning.” His breath whispers against me as he moves my hair, and feather-like kisses rain upon the back of my neck. I could get used to this first thing in the morning. Goosebumps spread quickly across my skin. He slides his hand down to my stomach, caressing it softly. There’s a definite baby bump but, according to Logan, it’s only a slight bump. His hands rubbed it in a circular motion until I fell into a deep sleep when we finally went to bed.
“Good morning yourself.”
“How do you feel? Any sickness?”
“Nope. I’m all good. What about you?”
“I’ve no sickness,” he says with amusement laced in his voice. “I feel the best I’ve felt in suc
h a long time. I have a clear head about what I want in life.”
“So we both feel good this morning?” I turn in his arms because I want to see him and kiss him. I long to feel his lips against mine. “Kiss me,” I say as soon as my eyes reach his and see a look of longing and desire as he smiles at me.
His lips are on mine immediately. I throw my arms around his shoulders, gripping tightly at the nape of his neck. I nip his bottom lip and inch my body closer to his. “Mmm, am I having Lee for breakfast?” I hear the seductive, hopeful tone to his voice and I can only pull back, stare into his eyes, and nod. “In that case, I’m not wasting another minute of our time together, because tomorrow, I need to be back training, working my way into the boss’s good books.”
“Yeah. No more messing up.”
“I have a question. Will you attend this weekend’s game with me, seeing as I’ll be sitting in the stands, watching?”
“Of course. Not only will I get to watch the game, but the added bonus is, I’ll be seeing you.”
“We’ll be seeing lots of each other if I get my way.” I love the sound of that.
“What do you mean?”
“We can discuss at a later date, but right now you have something I want and need.”
“What’s that?” I whisper against his lips.
“To make love to you.”
His words catch me off guard because, before, it’s always been fucking, according to him. Well, that’s what he claimed, but maybe now I know it’s been different. I squirm under his intense gaze, moving the bed sheets with each movement. His eyes travel the length of my body and I’m only too aware of the boyish smirk on his face when his eyes land on the hem of the football jersey he gave me to wear last night. I already love this jersey; it’s my new nightwear of choice. Logan isn’t getting it back. He did give it to me, after all. And it smells of him, so when I don’t have him physically beside me, he will always be close.
“See something you like, Walker?” His last name slowly rolls off my tongue. Am I teasing him or myself? I really don’t know.
“Of course. You look rather sexy in that jersey. I might need to invest in a whole load of football shirts just for you.”
“That would be nice, but I think this one is your fan’s favourite.”
“Fan’s favourite, huh? I like the sound of that but I think there’s too much chatter for this time in the morning, especially when we both have a strong desire for something else.”
I giggle because, of course, he’s right. I don’t want to talk when we could be up to so much more.
I close my eyes as I try to rein in my weird sense of humour. What the hell has come over me this morning? But I’ll take the giggling over the sick feeling of the last week.
I open my eyes and my gaze meets his. My heart starts thundering in my chest in response. The prolonged anticipation of what’s to come is almost unbearable. Almost. His gaze drops from my eyes to my shoulders then back down to the hem of the football jersey. “I think we should remove this.”
I sit up and slowly pull the jersey over my head before throwing it on the floor. Warm fingers tease their way up and down my back, stopping at my hips before pulling me back down on the bed until I’m lying on my back.
He shifts position, straddles me, and I gasp at the sight before me. My eyes travel his body, memorising every detail, from his arm muscles with the tattoo I love, to his well-toned chest rising and falling with every breath he takes. Then I drop my gaze lower, taking in that glorious V that is somewhat hidden underneath his boxers. Not for long.
A tingling in the pit of my stomach has me smiling. He’s not done anything yet, and here I am, excited by the prospect of what’s about to come. Excitement ripples through me on a tidal wave of happiness.
Lifting my head, I’m met with those dazzling brown eyes. “Lee.”
The sound of my name rolling from his lips affects me deeply; there’s something about the warm, soothing tone. His voice is a complete turn-on, just like the rest of him.
Lying beneath him in only my lace underwear, I feel flattered that, even pregnant, he still wants me. But will that still be the same in the months ahead? When I end up looking like the back end of a bus? I shake this thought from my mind as quickly as it entered, because I can’t and won’t allow myself to think of all the what ifs. Take each day as it comes.
He lowers his head with a look of hunger in his eyes as his mouth reaches mine. This kiss is slow and tender. Warm and loving. It’s everything a kiss should be and more. Smouldering heat simmers between us and an urgency that wasn’t there moments ago kicks into play. I want more than soft and tender. He slides his tongue inside, exploring, and I use this as my opportunity to deepen what we share.
With my arms around his neck, I pull his body down on me, demanding and taking more as spirals of ecstasy flare through my body.
Prising his lips from mine and moving himself from my hold, he sits back on his heels and gazes into my eyes.
“What?” I ask.
“I don’t want to hurt the baby.”
“You won’t. You can’t.”
“I won’t take a chance.”
There is a sweet side to the bad boy player with attitude; a thought I find amusing, but I try to hide it. “Please, Logan. It’s been too long,” I mumble, resting my hands on the waistband of his boxers before dipping my thumbs underneath, showing him I mean business. My breathing is heavy and all I want is him.
I lower his boxers but he stops me, climbs off me and the bed, taking the sheets with him, and he removes them himself. I try, really I do, to keep eye contact with him, but I can’t. My eyes drop. He’s hard and ready.
It gets me every time.
One word.
Impressive.
He chuckles and I lift my gaze in time to see him grab the waist of my lace knickers and quickly pull them off. He climbs back on the bed and parts my legs. His warm hand caresses the skin of my thighs. Waves of pleasure sweep through my soul when his hands are replaced by his lips, kissing gently and teasing, each kiss going higher than the last. His hands spread me further as he reaches his destination.
Warmth floods me as I feel the first contact of his tongue against my clit. “Oh God, please.”
I feel his smile against me. His first touch is incredible. His tongue dips inside, teasing. Then slowly, very slowly, with one delicious stroke, he makes his way back to the spot that has my body trembling.
I grab hold of the bed sheets under me when his fingers push inside me. Fingers pushing, tongue teasing equates to me losing control and he knows it. He knows my body so well. My breathing is hard and fast with each stroke of his tongue. There’s nothing I can do to stop the building pressure that’s tearing through my core. My body surrenders to his seduction. I close my eyes, moaning as the involuntary tremors take hold and my body shatters into a zillion bright stars as my orgasm comes hard.
He tenderly kisses my stomach, repeatedly whispering, “We both love you.” It brings happy tears to my eyes. He looks up and smiles before crawling up the bed, resting his hands at my shoulders, avoiding putting any weight on me. My eyes travel south and he’s right there, hovering at my entrance. I watch impatiently, waiting for that moment he sinks deep inside.
He smirks when I curl my legs around his lower back but accepts my invitation. He pushes into me slightly and stills, closing his eyes. It’s as though he’s taking a moment to enjoy the sensations flooding him.
I know how he feels.
After a few sensual moments, he opens his eyes and pushes in a little further on a moan, still holding back. He can’t hold back on me, not today. I have to have him all.
For me, it’s all or nothing.
He pulls back and I groan when our contact is lost.
“Oh God,” I cry out as he pounds straight into me, hard. My legs tighten around him, pulling him closer, searching for more of the same. I want him hard, fast, slow, and sensual. I want him all.
Pulling back
, he does the same; slams back into me over and over, each time going deeper than before. Each time claiming me. I’m battling to maintain a steady breath.
Instinctively, my body arches closer to him, needing more. Wanting more.
My whole body is flooded with a burning desire with each precise move he makes. Passion inches through my veins. I open my mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. There’s so much I want to say in this moment.
He stills and, when I look into his eyes, we don’t need words to express what we feel or want to say. The silent exchange we have going on is enough.
He’s sorry.
I’m sorry.
He wants me.
I want him.
He loves me.
I love him.
And in this moment, that’s all we need to know. Everything else, the finer details, we can work out later. As long as we have the important stuff covered, everything else will fall into place.
Removing his eyes from mine, he lowers them and we both watch as he starts moving again, slowly. This is us. Today is the start of something wonderful.
My body starts trembling and my legs go lax. Panting, I want to close my eyes, but I want to watch too. The pace changes as he presses forward harder. There’s a sheen of sweat glistening over his body. I feel his body tremble against mine. He’s panting.
I lift his hands, taking them in mine, squeezing them tightly and pulling him down on me. He hesitates, but only for a split second. He works into me harder and faster. “Fuck.” He’s close just as I am. A wave of pleasure flows between us. A warm sense of being complete fills me as he pushes us both over the ledge.
He kisses my lips and rolls onto his side, pulling me with him, removing his weight from my body. One hand slides down and rests on my stomach. “I love you.”
Those three little words are all I need to hear. “I love you too.” I snuggle into him and close my eyes, feeling content and at peace.
We’re going to be okay.
Saving the Game Page 11
