by Taryn Plendl
“Okay, that’s cool.” He nodded.
“So we’re good?” I put my hand out, and Ryan took it as he stood up.
“Always.” He shook my hand and pulled me into a quick hug, patting me on the back. I nodded and headed back inside to find Lucas. He was in the kitchen leaning against the counter eating a sandwich.
“Did you guys work it out?” he asked around his bite.
“Yeah.” I placed my arms on the cool counter.
“You all right?” Lucas set his sandwich down and looked at me, crossing his arms.
“Yeah, I’m actually really good.” I smiled, and he just shook his head.
“Are you sure about this? It could get complicated when Jackson comes home,” he warned.
I knew he was right. I was going to have to figure out what to do about that. All I knew was that I couldn’t stay away from her. She didn’t see his face that night in the park, and I wasn’t so sure if Jackson even remembered what she looked like. I made a mental note to ask him next week when I went to see him. Maybe it would work out without either of them knowing.
“I need to talk to Jackson—see if he remembers her.”
“Garrett, just be sure about all of this.” Lucas was genuinely worried.
“I have to be.” I shrugged. “I can’t stay away from her.”
Chapter 11
Garrett: I can’t make it by the bar tonight.
Me: OK. Everything OK?
Garrett: Yeah. Going up North for the day. Have to take care of some things.
Me: Drive Safe.
I closed my phone and turned back to stocking the bar. The past few days had gone by in a whirlwind. Garrett and I had spent any free time we had together, and for the first time I could remember, I even had trouble focusing on school. Garrett was unlike anyone I’d known. He made me feel so special, and even though he was very intimidating to look at, he was as gentle as could be.
“What’s that smile about?” Shelly slid next to me, teasing. I could feel my cheeks heat up.
“Nothing.” I smiled and turned away from her.
“Yeah, sure,” she laughed as she wiped the bar down. “Will we be expecting our friend, Garrett, tonight?”
“Actually, no.” I smirked. She raised her eyebrows at me.
“Really?”
“He just sent me a text saying he had to drive up North to take care of some things.” I wondered what it was that he needed to take care of. I guess if it was my business, he would tell me. When you have things you don’t want to talk about from your own past, you seem to learn to not pry for answers from someone else.
“Hmm.” Shelly frowned and walked away.
***
The night flew by. Shelly and I had just finished closing up when Lucas walked in the door. He shook hands with Rob and came to the bar.
“Hey, Payton.”
“What are you doing here, Lucas?” I was a little confused, and he just smiled.
“Well, unless I want a repeat of the movie theatre parking lot incident, I’m here to walk you home.” I groaned and rolled my eyes.
“Are you serious? Garrett did not ask you to walk me home, did he?” I shook my head.
“No, he didn’t ask me to walk you home. He told me to walk you home,” he laughed.
“This is ridiculous, Lucas. I’ve been walking home alone for a long time before Garrett. It really isn’t necessary.” I crossed my arms.
“Payton, please don’t fight me on this.” Lucas cocked his head to the side. I knew it wasn’t his fault, he was just doing what Garrett had asked, but it still pissed me off a bit. I didn’t like being made to feel like the damsel in distress. I had been taking care of myself for a long time, and even though I’d been through some heavy shit, I’d like to think that I came out on the other side.
“Fine, let me get my stuff.” I walked to the other side of the bar to grab my purse from underneath. I pulled out my phone and sent a quick text to Garrett.
Me: Not cool making your friend escort me home!
There! Now he would know I wasn’t happy. I should have added a frowny face. I knew I was being such a child. I headed back over to where Lucas stood—completely engrossed in a conversation with Shelly. She was smiling and laughing with him. Hmm. Maybe some interest there? Well, I would dig a little on the walk home.
“I’m ready when you are.” My mood had taken a shift for the better at the thought of playing matchmaker. Just then I felt my phone vibrate. I looked at it and saw it was Garrett. Shit! I expected him to text, not call. I walked away from Lucas and Shelly and answered.
“Hello, Garrett.” I did my best to sound annoyed, but in truth I was happy to hear his voice.
“Hi, Payton. Are you upset with me?” I could hear the laughter in his voice.
“Yes. Why would you make poor Lucas come over here at two in the morning to walk me home?”
“He offered, Payton. I told him I was going to try to make it back in time, and he told me not to rush, that he would take care of it. I honestly didn’t mean to upset you, but I do feel better knowing you aren’t alone.” How could I argue with him? I knew he just cared and wanted me safe.
“Fine, I’m not upset with you.” I smiled. “How was your trip?” I was still curious what it was about.
“Good. I’m on my way back. I’ll stop by and walk with you to class in the morning, okay?”
“Okay. Drive safe.”
I hung up and walked back to Lucas who was now ready to leave.
“Bye, Shell.” I waved. I headed over to Rob and leaned up to give his cheek a kiss.
Lucas said goodbye to Shelly and Rob, and we headed across the street to the park. It was freezing tonight. I could see each breath as we walked.
“Thanks for doing this, Lucas.”
“It’s not a problem, Payton. Garrett really cares about you, you know. He just wants you safe. He would do the same for me.” Just the opening I needed.
“Oh? Do you have someone special that Garrett may need to walk home?” I raised my eyebrows at him.
He laughed. “No, Payton.”
“Just curious.” I smiled back. I would have to see if Shelly was interested in him. They would make a cute couple.
“Did Garrett say how things went with his brother?”
“His brother?” I stopped and looked at Lucas.
“Oh shit,” he mumbled. I could tell he regretted asking.
“I didn’t know he had a brother.” In fact, we hadn’t even talked at all about either of our families since that night at my house when he’d asked about mine.
“Payton, I probably shouldn’t have mentioned anything. I guess I just assumed that you knew why he went up North.”
“Is his brother okay?” Lucas looked at me. I could tell he was trying to decide what to say, and I hated that I felt like manipulating him into telling me more. There was obviously a reason Garrett hadn’t mentioned his family either.
Lucas sighed and started walking again. “His brother is dealing with some issues. He’s going to be okay, though. He’s got a brother that loves him and will stand by him.”
“Are his parents up North, too?”
Lucas shook his head. “No parents.”
I felt a knot in my stomach, and I decided to drop it. I knew how I would feel if someone was fishing for information about me, so I didn’t want to be that person doing it to Garrett. Lucas had already told me more than he should have. I tilted my head back, closed my eyes and filled my lungs with frigid air. It felt good—cleansing. I felt comfortable and free for the first time in as long as I could remember.
We walked the rest of the way in silence. I didn’t ask any more questions, and he didn’t offer any more information. It was better that way. When we reached my steps, I thanked Lucas and headed inside.
I sent a quick text to Garrett letting him know I was home and went to take a shower before climbing in bed, snuggling up in my covers and falling asleep.
***
“
Mom?” I could hear the motor running from the kitchen. Setting my backpack down on the table, I moved slowly toward the door to the garage. “Mom?” I called out. Still no answer.
The empty bottle sat on its side next to the sink. She had long since stopped using a glass. Why worry about formalities when your ultimate goal was to just forget?
She had been unconscious again this morning when I left for school. I checked to make sure she was breathing and then rolled her to her side in case she vomited. She obviously got up for another drink sometime after I left.
My hands shook as I reached for the door. I knew in my gut what I would find. The exhaust smell was overpowering, and I quickly opened up the garage door to let some fresh air in. “Mom?” I shuffled slowly to the side of the car and reached through the window, removing the keys from the ignition.
I dropped the keys to the floor, jumping at the sound, escalated by the intense silence now that the car was off.
I closed the garage door and moved back through the kitchen, picking up the phone. “Nine-one-one, what is your emergency?”
My voice sounded stronger than I felt. “Um, my mom is dead.” I slid down to the floor, resting my head on my knees. Now I was completely alone.
Chapter 12
The drive home seemed to take forever. The day had been very overwhelming, to say the least; but all in all, Jackson was doing well. He seemed to be making progress through the program, and he was excited to get back to the way he was before the accident—at least regarding the addiction.
The tension was palpable when I arrived. We had made small talk at first, neither of us sure what to say. The last time I’d seen him was when I brought him up there, and without a doubt we were both slightly emotional. He was a broken mess, and I wasn’t much better.
“Hey, Jackson, let me ask you something about that night.” I sat back and watched him as I spoke.
“Yeah, what?” He seemed a bit nervous about where I was going with all of this. Hell, I was a little nervous about where I was going with this, too.
“Did you know the girl you attacked?” My heart was beating so hard, I was sure he could hear it, too.
“No, I didn’t know her.” He shook his head and looked down. “I hadn’t seen her before that night. It was a spur of the moment thing. I was desperate, Garrett, and she was alone.” When he looked back up I could see his eyes were full of tears. I grabbed his hand.
“It’s okay, Jackson,” I spoke softly. I didn’t mean to upset him, and his emotional reaction to my question hit me like a ton of bricks. “No, Garrett, it’s not okay. I really messed up that night. I’m lucky I didn’t hurt her worse than I did. I wish I could apologize, but I don’t see how that would work. I don’t even know who she is.” He shrugged.
“Jackson, I’m sure she’s okay.” I felt like shit. Not only was I deceiving Payton, I wasn’t being honest with Jackson either. I wasn’t being honest with anyone. Could you really build a relationship, fall in love, with lies of omission? Wasn’t that what I was trying to do? Unfortunately, I didn’t see any other way. I had never felt more like a selfish bastard than I did right then.
“Yeah, I guess,” he muttered as he wiped the back of his hand across his eyes.
“Hey, listen. It looks like you’ll be able to come home in about three or four weeks. Do you think you’ll be ready?” I changed the subject. I had put him through enough today searching for my own answers.
“I think so, man. I’m ready to get my shit together. I want to start college at the beginning of the year,” he announced.
“Really? That would be great, Jackson.” God, it felt good to have my little brother back. We were both so lost and screwed up after the accident, and I finally felt like we were getting on track. Jackson was my baby brother, my family. I loved him, and that would never change.
The loud beeping indicating an incoming text broke through the silence of the car. Payton had made it home safe, and I felt myself relax a bit knowing that she was okay. Just the thought of her made me smile.
We slipped into a bit of a routine over the past week. We would walk to class together, and I would walk her home after she got off work. Mixed in there were the kisses. Lots of kisses. They usually started out small, but there was something about her that almost made me ravenous. I couldn’t get enough of her. It was a spark that turned into a raging inferno whenever we touched. We never made it past kissing and roaming hands over clothing, but it was exciting, nonetheless. It felt a bit like we were in high school, but I didn’t want her to ever think that that was why I was with her. She was special, and I got the impression that she wasn’t very experienced. Her kisses were extraordinary, but I could tell that she was holding back—timid. I had no problem waiting. Many nights I went home to a cold shower, but I was happy—she made me happy.
***
“Good morning!” I grabbed her from behind and dropped a big kiss on her neck before she could even react.
“Wow! Good morning to you, too,” she giggled as she tried to smooth her hair. Her face was beautiful with a slight blush to her cheeks. Her dark locks hung loose around her face, and with the royal blue sweater she was wearing, her eyes looked like dark sapphires.
“You look incredible.” I admired her as I held her in my arms.
“Well, you aren’t half bad yourself.” She moved out of my arms and went to lock the door so we could leave.
We walked hand in hand toward campus. The morning was bright, but cold, and there was a layer of crystal ice on the grass, shimmering like diamonds as the sun shone.
“Do you want to tell me about your trip?” She squeezed my hand slightly as we walked. I knew I probably should mention something about it.
“I went to see my little brother. He is in a rehab program up there.” I waited for her reaction.
“Is he doing okay?” She amazed me. There weren’t any questions or prying. Just genuine concern, and I was relieved. I wasn’t sure what I would say if she had asked more about him.
“He’s doing much better.” I smiled and squeezed her hand back.
She smiled as we walked, and we didn’t really say much else until we kissed briefly as she went to her classes, and I went to mine.
***
“Thanks for walking Payton home last night.” Lucas and I were sitting out back by the fire pit drinking a couple of beers and enjoying the cool night. Ryan had brought home a few girls, and they were hanging out in the living room. Several of them had come out and sat with us, trying to get us to come inside with them, but I had no desire to be around any other girls. I had my Payton.
“No problem, although she was a little pissed that I was there at first,” he laughed. I knew she was. I could hear it in her voice when I called.
“I know,” I laughed. I watched as Lucas looked over his shoulder at the action in the living room.
“Hey, don’t feel like you need to stay out here with me. You should go inside. I’m going to the bar anyway.” I stood up and threw my empty bottle in the garbage can.
“Mind if I go with you?” Lucas stood up and put his hands in his pockets. He seemed a bit off tonight.
“Not at all.” I walked through the back door, bracing myself as we walked into the lion’s den.
“Hey guys, it’s about time you came in.” One of the blonde girls sat up and obviously stuck her boobs out, smiling at us.
“Sorry. We’re just passing through.” I shook my head at Ryan. He just shrugged and smiled.
“You going to the bar?” Ryan smirked at me. He and I had squashed things, but I knew he was just waiting for me to get bored with Payton and jump back into his party. It wasn’t going to happen. Not this time. I had all I wanted in Payton.
“The bar? We’ll go with you!” The blonde and her friend jumped up and pressed themselves to Lucas and me. I stepped away, and watched as Lucas did the same.
“I don’t think my girlfriend would appreciate that.” The blonde stuck her lip out in a pout. I waved and wa
lked to the door with Lucas right behind me. I don’t know what I ever saw in girls like that.
“Are you sure you don’t want to stay? Looks like a sure thing in there,” I laughed.
Lucas glanced away nervously and shook his head. “I’m not feeling it tonight.”
By the time we arrived at Pastimes, I was so ready for a drink. It was cold out, and I needed a couple of shots to warm me up a bit.
“Hey, Rob.” I shook hands with the muscular bouncer whom I’d come to respect quite a bit. He watched out for my girl, and I knew she was safe at the bar as long as he was there. Lucas did the same. It didn’t take me but a second to spot her. She had her black hair pulled back in a loose ponytail and had her butt in the air as she reached under the bar for something. I felt my body start to react. Sweet Jesus, she had an amazing ass, and I had half the mind to run over there and block the view from any of the scumbags who were ogling my girl.
I turned to say something to Lucas and realized he was already at the bar talking to Shelly. He was smiling at her, and I saw him touch her arm briefly. Hmm, no wonder he wanted to come with me. I chuckled and walked over to Payton.
“Hey, you!” She smiled, and it was like light in a dark room to my heart.
“Hi.” I sat across from her at the bar nodding my head over at Lucas and Shelly. “Check that out.” I waggled my eyebrows.
She giggled. “I know. They were like that last night, too.” She leaned toward me so no one could hear. “I haven’t seen Shelly show interest in anyone in a very long time.” She was almost giddy, and I couldn’t help but laugh.
I threw back the shot Payton set in front of me. “I was wondering why he left his house full of girls to come with me.”
“Girls, huh?” Payton was eyeing me.
“Yeah, you know Ryan.” I shrugged. Payton frowned and turned around to straighten up the glasses.
“You know that you don’t have to walk me home Garrett.” She didn’t turn around.
