Be Careful What You Wish For

by Jade C. Jamison

  Yep. Like clockwork. Kage was standing by the jukebox, looking at the music on it. Josh and I had had some say in the music that had been loaded on it, because we had two stipulations—one, we didn’t want to hear country. There were country bars in town that people could go to, but we didn’t want to work at them. The second thing we insisted upon was no pop. No offense to Mariah Carey, but I didn’t want to hear her when I was working my ass off. I wanted something I found motivating and energizing. Josh and I agreed on what music that was, and while we didn’t get everything we’d asked for, we’d managed to score. And our customers didn’t care. They liked the bar’s atmosphere—mostly a younger crowd and lots of fun. There was a karaoke night (I’d only worked that night once or twice) and we sometimes had pool tournaments, so people liked to frequent our place. For a while, the owner had us serving a little food too, messy shit like chili cheese fries, but the money coming in wasn’t enough to pay for the cook, let alone the mess and the upkeep of the kitchen. The owner still had plans for the future, but he was letting them idle again. I had no doubt that in a few months he’d try serving food again, but he needed to find the right angle.

  The music, though…that made this bar a place I enjoyed working. Sure, there was a little pop. The other waitress who worked the nights I didn’t had a few requests—she was a hardcore Lady Gaga fan and insisted we load up a lot of her hits. There were other artists she’d requested as well, but I rarely heard them. Our crowd was used to the other music on the box.

  I got behind Kage and wrapped my arms around his abdomen, resting my cheek against his back. I breathed him in, feeling full and happy again. He turned around, still in my arms. He kissed my forehead like he had earlier and asked, “So what now?” He wrapped his arms around my upper body, one of his hands splayed on my back.

  I grinned and shrugged. “I really don’t want to be here any longer.” I tilted my head. “We could go to my place.” At some point, I’d need to ask him where he lived…or where he was living now. I was pretty certain he was no longer living where he had been when I’d first met him.

  “Sounds like a plan.”

  I smiled again and said, “Josh, I’m out of here, unless you need something else.”

  “Nope, got it.”

  “Thanks. See you later.” I told Kage I had to get my coat and purse out of the back, and he said he’d warm up his truck for me. By the time I got outside, a light snow was falling, making the sky look bright. Kage jumped out of his truck and wrapped his arm around my back, escorting me to his truck. He opened the passenger side door for me and lifted me up onto the seat. I had to admit I liked how he tended to treat me like a lady. I’d never been treated that way before, and if you’d asked me before that, I would have told you I didn’t want it…but I was starting to appreciate it. It was then, when I was seated, that he lifted his face and placed his hand on my neck, urging my lips down to his for one of the hottest kisses I had ever experienced. Oh, God, could I make it till we got back to my apartment?

  When he pulled away from me, his eyes were aflame. It wasn’t just me. It made me want him right there, cold be damned. But he grinned then and waited for me to turn to sit facing forward in the seat, and then he closed the door and walked over to his side. I buckled in, primed for what was to come. The radio was playing a Bring Me the Horizon song, and I reached over to turn it up a little more as he backed his truck out of the parking space.

  One thing I liked about this time of night was there wasn’t much traffic. There were cars here and there but nothing like daytime. These folks were creatures of the night. They either had night jobs or liked to play during the dark hours, and I was one of them. I had my school business during the day, but my life began at dark. When Kage pulled onto the freeway, I asked, “You remember how to get to my apartment, right?”

  He glanced over at me, grinning. “How could I forget?”

  That made me feel good. I’d been feeling so insecure and unsure earlier, so that was nice to hear. He reached over and turned the radio back down when the song ended. We weren’t far from my apartment then. He asked, “Do all your customers get grabby with you?”

  I wasn’t sure what he meant. “What…like you?” I laughed.

  “No, like that big red-headed guy who pulled you onto his lap.”

  How long had Kage been at the bar? He’d seen that? “Sometimes…when they’ve had too much to drink.”

  He didn’t say anything then, but I wondered if that had made him jealous. I wasn’t going to say a word, because I’d been imagining him back in his wife’s bed and feeling something akin to that. It was kind of a cool idea that he was feeling that for me, though, because I didn’t think any guy had felt possessive of me like that, so much that he was jealous of other men. It made me feel loved and wanted, perhaps more than I ever had been before.

  He pulled into the parking lot at my apartment. It was always quiet at this time of night but well lit. Tonight, as Kage lowered me out of his truck and pulled me close, I felt like the street lights were spotlights. Most of me didn’t care, because this man had captured my heart, and it didn’t matter to me who knew. But it also felt like what we had was private and just for us, and I didn’t want to disrespect that.

  But I couldn’t help myself. As he pulled me close, my fingers entwined themselves through his soft hair, forcing his lips down to meet mine. I wanted him and I wouldn’t rest until he was inside me again.

  Just having his mouth devour mine made my nipples harden, aching for his touch. I probably seemed desperate, the way I was consuming his lips, but I had to have him. It felt like it had been far too long. I moved my hands down and wrapped my fists around the opening of his leather jacket, holding him close, and I could feel a few snowflakes land on my eyelashes and cheeks. He was taking the brunt of the snow, but I wouldn’t have felt cold anyway.

  Still, he said, “Let’s get you inside where it’s warm.”

  I smiled and grabbed his hand, pulling him away from his truck. He was barely able to close the door, because I was in a hurry to get him inside so I could rip his clothes off. As we approached the door of my ground floor apartment, I said, “We have to be quiet, because one of my roommates will be home and she is more than likely asleep.”

  I heard a throaty chuckle come from behind my right ear as his arm slipped around my waist. I was trying to guide the key in the lock but I was finding him to be damned distracting. His voice was low in my ear when he said, “I can be quiet, but I can’t promise not to make you scream.”

  I couldn’t stop my eyes from closing as I sucked in a breath, warm air from his mouth tantalizing against my neck. My nipples tightened again, begging for his touch, whether it would be rough or gentle. I swallowed, trying to concentrate, as the key found the hole and I slid it in…but all that did was make me hungry for him, a poor metaphor for what I wanted him to do to me.

  We made it in the apartment. I could see the tiny lights of the DVD player and cable box and a little light spilling in through the sheer living room curtains, and, as we headed toward my bedroom, I saw that there was no light coming from under Steph’s bedroom door either. Either she was out or she was asleep. I knew Lindsey was gone as well. For all I knew, we had the place to ourselves.

  The tiny nightlight we kept in the bathroom was on, and it helped guide me to my bedroom. I opened the door and felt for the light switch, flipping it on. And then I began attacking him. I couldn’t resist him anymore, and my kisses were frantic, desperate. I felt him wind his fingers through my hair and then he made a fist at the back of my head. The hairs that were coiled in his hand tightened and weren’t quite painful but would be if I struggled and pulled. He said, “We have all night. No need to rush.” His emerald eyes drank me in and he leaned over to kiss me, his fist still tangled in my hair. He sucked on my bottom lip and then released it as the breath flowed out of my body like a lazy river. His lips moved to my chin and traced my jawline before moving down my neck, leaving a path of fire
in their wake.

  My breathing, though—it was ragged as my body begged him to put me out of my misery. As his mouth tasted the flesh at my neck, his free hand worked on the buttons on my blouse, already gaping at the cleavage. His fingers worked masterfully on the buttons in spite of using his non-dominant hand, but I supposed playing bass helped with that. He was used to using his hands in conjunction to accomplish some greater task. His lips found my breasts, covered by a bra that was barely there, and my fingers tightened around his jacket.

  He trailed his tongue back up to my neck and breathed, “Think we can be patient now?”

  I smiled and then bit my lip. As his eyes rose to meet mine, I said, “I can’t make any promises.”

  He smirked and took me in a kiss, releasing his hold on my hair but picking me up off the floor by sliding an arm under my ass. I clenched my legs around his torso, hoping the friction and heat of my underside against his musculature would offer some relief, but he lay me on the bed in seconds, depriving me of that fantasy in short order. I lifted my head off the bed to meet his lips, but he shied away, smiling. What a tease. He moved in slowly and then kissed me, and I hesitated to respond, but when I knew his kiss was sincere, I took him in.

  I was aching, on fire, tingling from every single nerve in my body, and as his lips moved down my body again, I could feel the flames growing higher. He reached under my skirt and grabbed the front of my panties with violence. They were wadded up into his fist and he pulled them down hard. They tore at my skin as they obeyed his command, and even though the motion hurt my flesh, I could barely feel it. I heard a gasp rush from my lips, but I knew relief was coming.

  But once he had my panties down past my knees, he trailed his fingers back up my thigh with a feather touch, sending chills through to my core. He got closer to my pussy, though, but then he stopped. I groaned in frustration and he smiled again but brought his lips to my cleavage, brushing my skin with soft moist kisses that did nothing but make me more aroused. His fingers trailed up and down, up and down, but never homed in on their intended target.

  I couldn’t take it anymore. I’d been resting my hands on his shoulders, trying to keep my fingers from digging deep, but I was ready to snap. I bent one of my legs to pull it out of the panties and then wrapped it around his at the knees as though I were holding him down, but I wanted to press him into me. I thought it could give me some relief. I dragged my fingers down his chest, and even though his t-shirt was still on, I hoped it communicated my impatience. I understood it. I got that he wanted to savor our time together, but my thought was, instead, that we had our whole future ahead of us. We could take our time later. Right now, I needed him. I couldn’t think of anything I needed more.

  I grabbed for his belt and unbuckled him, almost challenging him to stop me again. But he didn’t. I felt more eager as I unbuttoned his jeans and slid the zipper down. He got his face close to mine, his eyes boring into mine. They were sexy, ablaze, and serious. I couldn’t help the playful smile that I knew lit up my eyes as I slid my hand inside his jeans and brushed his cock with my hand. Then I took my index finger and glided over its length from base to tip.

  I had his attention.

  I swirled my finger around the head then and brought my other hand to the back of his neck, pulling his mouth into a kiss. And as he felt the sensation of my mouth on his, I took his cock into my hand and squeezed gently, hoping he knew how serious I was about not messing around anymore. I broke from the kiss, the one he was having a hard time concentrating on anyway, and said, “I need you, Kage. I need you right now.”

  His eyes seemed a darker green as he looked in mine and he took my bottom lip in his mouth again, sucking it gently while he obeyed my wish and entered into me. It was slow at first, but then he gave me what I needed. He rammed into me, hard and forceful, and I cried out. Yes, this was what I’d been begging for. Each thrust brought me closer. I tried to kiss his neck but I was distracted, my mind focusing on the sensations below. I realized the nails of one hand were digging into his neck, the others in his ass, as though I wanted to guide his actions. But he didn’t need my help. His body and mine…they knew what to do together. I tilted my pelvis to adjust and squeezed against him and he needed only to move inside me a few more times before I hit the top.

  It was a slow build, gradual and almost elusive. I felt the orgasm right there and as I squeezed again, it came over me, but it was slow. I thought it would just be a small, subdued one, but as he continued driving into me, the full force of it gave way and I moaned, unable to hold it in. It was an explosion inside my head, one filled with pleasure, and I could barely register that he was coming too.

  When he was done, he rested his head on the bed just above my shoulder. His body enveloping mine…it felt so right, so perfect, and I never wanted this moment to end. I knew it would, though, just like all others, so I decided to cherish it while he was still in my arms, while he was still inside me…

  And fully mine.

  Chapter Twelve

  KAGE DOZED OFF beside me, but I couldn’t sleep. I was still wound up from work, in spite of the overdose of relaxing chemicals Kage’s sex had flooded my body with, and I was also worried that the noise I’d been making might have awakened Steph. Well, if it had, she had gone back to sleep…probably. I rolled over onto my side. I couldn’t manage to get comfortable enough to grow drowsy. That was probably because we weren’t completely on the bed.

  “Hey…Kage. Why don’t you move up here to rest your head on a pillow?”

  He opened his eyes and seemed a little disoriented at first, but he nodded and rolled on his side before crawling up to the head of the bed. I got up and switched on the lamp on the nightstand and then walked across the room to turn off the bedroom light. By the time I got back to the bed, Kage was pulling his shirt over his head. Then he took his jeans off and tossed them to the floor. Oh, God, his body was beautiful, and I loved seeing all his tattoos. He got off the bed for a few seconds to pull back the covers and then climbed back in. Meanwhile, I was pulling my skirt down and letting my blouse fall off my shoulders. I reached behind my back to undo my bra and I appreciated the look on Kage’s face when I tossed it on the dresser. I got under the covers and snuggled up next to him, my cold room making me crave warmth.

  And, oh, yes. He was quite warm. Almost hot. At least, I felt warmer next to him. He closed his eyes and held me close, and I thought maybe he was going to go back to sleep. I could feel his steady breath on my hair. “You sure I don’t need to go beat the shit out of that bonehead who grabbed you tonight?”

  For some reason, I thought that was sweet. “No. It happens all the time. The guy was drunk and he won’t even remember it tomorrow. No sense hurting your beautiful hands on someone like that.”

  He chuckled softly and I felt his breath against my hair again. “I think it’d be worth it.”

  We were quiet for a few moments and then I asked, “So…do you have a new place?”

  “Hmm? Oh, yeah. I’m staying with Mark. He has an extra bedroom and a garage and he offered. I’m looking for an apartment, but I’m not in any hurry as long as he can stand having me around.”

  I ventured into more dangerous territory. “Were you able to save all your things?”

  “From Fay? Yeah. I think it might have been a different story if I hadn’t gotten there when I had.”

  I couldn’t imagine someone being that vindictive. In all fairness, I suppose, I was just feeling overprotective of Kage, but when I dug deep, I knew I would be pretty emotional if I’d felt like someone had stolen him away from me too. I might not be so forgiving, either. I don’t know that I would have wanted to ruin his belongings, but when I thought hard about it, I could understand the fury Fay might have felt. “That’s good.”

  “It’s not like I had a lot. My music stuff, clothes, little things. It all fit in the back of my truck. The furniture, dishes, shit like that—she can have it. I don’t need it. A lot of that stuff was hers when I move
d in anyway.” I found myself playing with his nipple while he talked. His eyes were closed, and I expected him to fall asleep again at any moment.

  And then it washed over me. Whether I wanted to take any responsibility for it or not, a huge part of his life was over. He’d ended a chapter in his book, and even if he’d wanted to…I had a hand in it. I felt a new wave of remorse wash over me. My voice cracked when I said, “Kage…I’m so sorry.”

  That was when he opened his eyes. I was staring at the nipple I was tracing with my finger, so he lifted my chin to make me look at him. “Don’t apologize, Jessica. The end of our marriage was inevitable. For some reason, Fay wanted to speed it along. But don’t you ever say you’re sorry. I wouldn’t be here with you right now if she hadn’t done it the way she did.” I nodded. He was right, but I wondered if I would ever be able to leave the pangs of regret behind or if they would simply fade into the background. I nodded. “We should never have married in the first place.” I looked at him again. I wanted to know why he said it, but I didn’t want to be nosy. I might have felt like Kage was my soulmate, but I still didn’t feel like I should be poking around in his business unless he wanted to share. I stroked his cheek. I saw something in his eyes, something I felt the need to comfort. He sighed. “I stayed for so long because of her little brother.”

  “What about him?”

  “He’s a junior in high school. Fay lost her dad right after she graduated, and her mom had been in a wheelchair for as long as she could remember. Her brother was a little guy, maybe ten years old, if that, when their dad died. He didn’t have any male role models, and all he had was Fay and their mom. They have two uncles but they live on the east coast. So…I was it.” His eyes reflected a painful past. “I lost my parents a long time ago, and I didn’t want him to suffer like I had. He was—is a good kid. I wanted to give him some of the chances I never had. And Fay…I didn’t know that she was the answer.” He took a deep breath. I knew I needed to just let him talk, so I looked back down at my finger. I let it trace a tattoo on his chest, one in beautiful script that said simply, “Forged.” “So when everything went down, I stayed around for him. We talked Friday. I wanted him to know I will always be here for him. He knew things weren’t good between me and Fay. He said he wasn’t surprised.”