A Promise of Passion

by M. E. Nesser

  He proceeded to squirt some shampoo into his hands and wash my hair. It felt way better than it does at the hairdresser. It was heavenly. I had to brace myself against his chest to keep from falling over. Once he had thoroughly rinsed my hair, I pulled away and said, “My turn.” And I washed his hair as lovingly as he’d washed mine.

  After I finished washing his hair, he squeezed a large amount of liquid soap onto a sponge and started circling it over my arms and then my stomach. When he knelt down to wash between my legs, I thought I was going to explode. My moans must have been louder than I thought, because I could hear him chuckle at how aroused I was getting. Just as I was about to start begging for more, he turned me around and stood up. At first, it felt lonely and empty, until he started massaging my back with the sponge in firm, large circles. I’d never say no to someone rubbing my back. It felt so good.

  Then he moved down my body and starting massaging my ass. I couldn’t get over how erotic the feeling was. I could sense that he was kneeling, but I couldn’t open my eyes because I was floating somewhere above the shower. He washed my legs as carefully as every other part. As he spread my ass cheeks, I arched my back and pushed it closer to him. We’d never done any anal play, but at this moment, he could have done absolutely anything to me. I was ready, and I was horny. I reached down to put some pressure on my clit, because it was throbbing so hard that I needed to quell some of the tension building there.

  “No, Kitten. That’s mine,” he scolded me.

  He stood up and started kissing the back of my neck.

  “Please, Bryce, I want you. I can’t stand anymore,” I begged.

  I could feel his erection against my lower back, and it was driving me crazy. I needed it inside of me, and I needed it now. He must have felt the same way, because before I knew what was happening, he’d impaled me with his perfect, hard penis.

  “Brace yourself on the wall, Kitten. This is going to be hard and fast.” And it was. I let out a scream of complete ecstasy at the same time I heard him grunting and pouring his seed inside of me. I never knew sex in the shower could be so satisfying. At this moment, I felt like I could stay wet forever.

  He turned me toward him and starting kissing me some more. “I’ve missed you so much, Katie,” he whispered into my mouth.

  “I love you, Bryce,” were the only words that came out of my mouth.

  46

  I knew I had to deal with Ashley when I got back to campus. I really liked her, and the sex was pretty amazing, but I loved Katie. I was so glad I’d been able to go home for Thanksgiving. It had put everything in perspective for me.

  Ashley called me in my dorm as soon as I got back. She asked me if I’d come to her room after class. I knew I had to suck it up and get it over with, so I agreed to meet her. I also knew she would want to have sex, and I needed to turn her down without hurting her feelings. This was going to totally suck. I didn’t want her to think I was some kind of asshole who had used her for sex. I really did like her. I just liked Katie more.

  When I knocked on her door, she opened it up in an oversized, see-through white T-shirt and nothing underneath. She jumped up in my arms and wrapped her arms around my neck and her legs around my waist. She started sucking on my lips, and I couldn’t hold back. I had to kiss her back. She was so sweet and so ferocious, and I wanted all of her. I closed the door with my foot and stood there sucking her mouth while she wiggled her body against my cock. I was so turned on, I forgot all about Katie.

  I carried her to her small, single bed and buried my face between her legs. It tasted incredible. She was so aroused I could hear her whimper as I sucked her. She started pulling my hair, which meant she was getting close. I licked her gently and blew on her the way she liked it. She pulled my head closer to her body to increase the friction. I knew what she needed. I stuck two fingers inside her with one hand, grabbed her ass with the other, and sucked her until she screamed my name over and over again.

  Whenever I finished going down on her, she needed me to get on top of her and pound her as hard as humanly possible. She would bring her knees up to her underarms and I would bury myself deep inside of her. I loved it when I could hear my balls smacking against her ass as I pounded my body into her.

  As soon as I entered her, she started clawing at my back. Sex with her was so intense. Her hands roamed all over my body. I could feel her nails scratching me, and I loved it. I had my hands cupped under her hips to tilt her into position, and when she clawed my ass to draw me closer, I knew she was going to come again. And boy, did she.

  “Harder! Harder! Slam me, Bryce! Now! Harder! Oh, fuck!” and we gave in to the most exhilarating orgasm. When the feeling died down, I collapsed on top of her.

  “Miss me?” she chuckled.

  That brought me back to reality. I had planned to break it off with her. Instead, I had screwed her brains out and loved every minute of it. Now, I was screwed.

  47

  I hated going back to school. The couple of days with Bryce over the holiday had been amazing. I couldn’t wait until we had a month off at Christmas. I was over trying to sleep with anybody else, and I’d told him so. No one could make me feel the way that Bryce did. He was perfect. And he was mine.

  I called him Sunday night, when I knew he’d be settled in; he had practice early Monday morning.

  “Hey, B, miss me?” I asked him anxiously.

  “Hi, Kitten. Of course I do,” he said quietly.

  “I want you to know that I just took a shower, and I used the sponge I stole from your house. I thought of you as I washed myself between my legs. You were like an animal. It was amazing. I had to sit down in the shower after I came. I’ll never be able to take a normal shower again.”

  “God, I miss you Katie. I wish we weren’t so far away from each other.”

  “You OK? You sound funny,” I asked worriedly.

  “I’m just tired. I can’t talk now, Katie. I need some sleep. I’ve got a big day tomorrow. I’ll talk to you soon,” and he hung up.

  What had just happened? Had I turned him off by telling him about the shower? We always talked about our fantasies—that couldn’t have been it. Something was definitely up, and I needed to know what it was.

  We’d made a pact not to talk about our encounters with other partners. We both agreed it was important to see what else was out there, but I didn’t think I wanted to know any details. At least, the stoic, self-resecting part of me didn’t want to know what he did at school. But his aloofness had me wondering. Had he found someone else he wanted to be with? It didn’t seem possible, after our few days together, but I’d never asked him about what happened during the first three months we were apart. While we were going at it in the shower, I’d told him he was the best I had ever been with and left it at that. He hadn’t said anything, but we were in the middle of a passionate tryst—I hadn’t really expected him to respond. Now I was wondering what he wasn’t telling me. It scared the hell out of me.

  48

  I was such an asshole. I shouldn’t have hung up on Katie. Then again, I shouldn’t have banged Ashley again. What the hell was I doing? I was a loyal kind of guy—or at least I thought I was. I loved Katie. I could see myself marrying her. But I loved sleeping with Ashley. She was so much fun. Sex with her was so intense. I didn’t know her as well or have the same kind of emotional connection with her, but she was so incredibly fun to hook up with. It was as simple as that, except that it wasn’t. I was having such a struggle trying to sort the two relationships out. It had been Katie’s idea to sleep around, but she had told me over Thanksgiving that she was done experimenting with others. I should have been honest. I felt like such a douchebag.

  There were only three more weeks before Christmas break, and I had to get my shit together. Ashley called me constantly, so I avoided going to my room as much as possible. It was hard to avoid her completely, though, because we were living on a pretty small campus. After about a week, she cornered me in the courtyard.


  “Why are you avoiding me?” she demanded to know.

  “I’m busy, Ash. I just don’t have the time to hang out.”

  “Who said we have to hang out? I need to get laid,” she persisted.

  “I’m sorry, Ash. I’ve had a lot on my mind,” I confessed.

  “Are you still hung up on that girl back home?” she asked me.

  “Kind of. I love her, Ash.”

  “But I thought you had some kind of agreement that you could sleep with other people…”

  “We did, but I feel guilty sleeping with you.”

  “How long were you going to wait to tell me, Bryce? I thought we had something real going on—and now, all of a sudden, you have a fucking conscience?”

  “I’m so sorry, Ash. I just don’t know what to do,” I confessed.

  “Why don’t you just grow a pair of balls?” she screamed as she stormed away from me.

  Every time I saw Ashley over the next couple of weeks, I tried to say hello, but she completely ignored me. I missed her; I’d be lying if I said I didn’t. She was full of life, and our connection was so intense. I was pretty confused. I was only eighteen years old, too young to commit for eternity, but I felt guilty as hell enjoying another girl as much as I did. It was such a mess. I didn’t know what to do.

  I kept myself really busy with school and squash and counted the days until I went home. I talked to Katie a couple of times on the phone, but it was expensive to call long distance, so we didn’t talk very often. I knew that once I was back home with Katie, I would feel better. Christmas break could not come soon enough.

  When I got home for the holidays, I called Katie right away. She had gotten home the night before, and I was excited and nervous to see her. I asked her if she could come over. My folks were out for the night, and they were pretty cool about Katie staying over. They knew I wasn’t a virgin and were pretty OK with me having Katie at the house. Fortunately, Katie’s folks felt the same way.

  I heard her pull into the driveway and ran out to greet her. She looked amazing. Her hair had gotten longer, and she had put some highlights in it. She looked even prettier than I remembered. Ashley never crossed my mind. All I wanted was Katie, and I needed to have her right then.

  I hadn’t had sex in three weeks, and I was as frustrated as I had ever been. As soon as I got close to her, I picked her up and kissed her with as much passion as I could. She responded the same way for several minutes. Then she pulled away from me and asked, “Everything all right?”

  “I just missed you so much,” I explained.

  “You sure? You’re acting a little over the top,” she said.

  “It has just been too long.”

  “Maybe we should take a shower,” she suggested.

  “I don’t think I can wait that long,” I told her.

  I picked her up and carried her to the bedroom. That was the first time Ashley came to my mind. Ashley was heavier than Katie, and the last time we were together, I had picked her up with her legs wrapped around me. But this was Katie. I needed to focus on Katie.

  I walked over to the bed and gently set her down. “We can shower after,” I told her. I started to kiss her. I kissed her everywhere. My hands roamed all over her body. I was so hard, I was afraid I would explode before I even got inside of her. I wanted to make it last, but my head was pretty messed up. I pulled her shorts down and started to kiss her belly.

  “I kind of need a shower before you put your mouth there,” she said.

  “I love how you smell. I don’t think you need a shower. I want to feast on your gorgeous body,” I told her.

  “Be my guest.”

  I felt the intense need to satisfy her in every way possible. The guilt of enjoying another girl was driving me crazy. I was just supposed to have sex with other girls, not fall for them. I devoured Katie like I was participating in the Last Supper. She was apprehensive at first, but before I knew it, she was screaming my name and exploding in my mouth. I loved everything about that moment when she came. Her voice changed. It sounded deep and sexy. Her skin got flushed. Her hips bucked against my face. She pulled my hair. It was pure heaven.

  When she finally calmed down, I slowly made my way up her body. I trailed kisses the whole way up to her face, which she seemed to love. She continued to writhe under my touch and make the cutest moaning sounds.

  I cupped her face with my hands, looked her deep in the eyes, and told her that she was beautiful and that I loved her.

  “I love you too, Bryce,” she said. “You’re acting weird, though. Are you sure everything is all right with you?”

  “It has been too long, and I’ve missed this. I’ve missed you. I just want to show you how much I love you,” I told her.

  “Then I guess you better show me with that beautiful body of yours,” she said with a laugh in her voice.

  That’s exactly what I did.

  49

  Sex was amazing that night, but something was up with Bryce. He was acting weird. I couldn’t get him to say much except that I was beautiful and that he needed me. I loved all the attention he was giving me, but I felt this weird emptiness inside. Something had definitely changed.

  The second semester went pretty well. We saw each other a couple of times, and it was always fantastic. We talked on the phone once a week, and we wrote to each other. I cherished his letters. They were heartfelt and romantic.

  We both found full-time internships over the summer. My dad had a friend who worked in a law firm that needed someone to do odds and ends like make copies, do filing, and run errands. I was thrilled to be working at the firm. I was surprised that my dad even told me about it, since he was still hell-bent on my going to medical school. I’m pretty sure my mom had something to do with it.

  Bryce was interning at an accounting firm. He wanted to get his CPA, so this was perfect for him. The idea of working with numbers all day seemed boring as hell, but he was thrilled at the opportunity.

  He also played a lot of squash that summer, so his time was really limited. We saw each other a few nights a week and spent as much time as possible together on the weekends. As the summer progressed, our relationship went back to how it had been in high school. We had a lot of fun together. We went on picnics, to concerts, and to bed—whenever and wherever we could. I seriously didn’t want the summer to end.

  We agreed not to talk about our experiences with other people our freshman year. I was glad: the thought of Bryce sleeping with another girl made me crazy, and my liaisons had been so shitty they weren’t even worth talking about.

  There were a lot of other things we did talk about. We talked about our hopes and our dreams. He was the only person I ever felt comfortable sharing my innermost feelings with.

  “You think you want kids one day?” I asked him one day when we were sitting at a picnic bench at a seaside bar after a volleyball tournament we played in.

  “Yeah, sure. I want at least one. What about you?” he asked me.

  “I definitely want at least one. I never minded being an only child. I have a pretty amazing relationship with my parents.”

  “I love my brother Blake, but I can’t imagine having more than one child either. I want to travel and see the world. I’ve only been to the east coast. I want to see our whole country. Heck, I want to see the whole world. If I have a lot of kids, I may never get the chance to do that,” he admitted.

  “I’ve always thought that if I made a lot of money, I’d want to make the homeless shelters nicer. I love volunteering at the homeless shelter. I’d rather give my extra money to people that are hungry. I’ve been volunteering for four years now, and the people who come to the shelter mean the world to me. I need to make a lot of money so I can do more to make their lives better. I can’t imagine being hungry. It makes me so sad,” I told him.

  “Then I guess we both need to make a lot of money so we can spoil our only child, travel around the world, and make the lives of homeless people more comfortable,” Bryce said
. With that, we shook hands.

  Before I knew it, August had arrived and I was starting to get my stuff ready for my second year. I was renting an on-campus apartment with my girlfriend Susie, so I needed more things. My mom and I bought paper products, kitchen stuff, and cleaning supplies. The apartment was furnished, which made it a little easier; at least we wouldn’t need to rent a U-Haul. My stuff would all fit in our SUV.

  Bryce was staying in the dorms again. It was easier for him to get to classes and squash practice that way. It was obvious we were both feeling sad about going our separate ways for another semester, but we really didn’t have a choice. College was important to us, and we were both where we needed to be.

  50

  Good-byes totally suck. I went to Katie’s house on my way back to school. She was waiting at the door when I got there. Her folks were home, so we couldn’t have any private time together. We stood on her front step for what seemed like an eternity, hugging and crying. We promised to get together whenever we had a break. Finally, I had to go. It was so hard leaving her, but I had a long drive ahead of me.

  As I got closer to campus, I started feeling apprehensive about what was going to happen with Ashley when I got back. I knew it was only sex with her. Katie was the love of my life, and I knew I’d stay committed to her, even though it would be hard to go without sex. Masturbating wasn’t the same thing, but it would have to do.

  It was kind of strange, but I didn’t see Ashley anywhere around campus. I didn’t hear from her, either. Out of sight, out of mind—it was probably for the best. I was so glad I didn’t have to worry about being tempted anymore.

  My dorm room was better this year; I had a single. Katie and I both had vehicles this year, but it was hard for me to go see her since I had squash commitments almost every day. Katie had more time, but it was still a five-hour drive from Yale to Georgetown. She wasn’t the best driver, but we vowed to see each other whenever possible.