The Boy Who Loves Horses (Pegasus Equestrian Center Series)

by Diana Vincent

  He hadn’t apologized for being late, and Sierra had already forgiven his tardiness; happy that he was here with her now.

  After the trail ride, Dean helped her untack and groom both horses before they took them to their stalls for the night. Manuel was already bringing horses in and the stable aisles echoed with the sounds of horses nickering for their anticipated supper.

  “Want to go get something to eat?” Dean asked as they stepped outside of the stable. He put his hand on her elbow, as if to guide her over to his car.

  “I usually help bring horses in before I go home,” Sierra told him.

  “Is that your job?”

  “No, I just like to help out.”

  “Can you skip it today? I know this great little café that makes exceptional pizza.” He looked at her pleadingly with his lovely blue eyes.

  How she wanted to say yes. “Thanks, Dean, but my mother doesn’t let me ride in cars with teenage drivers,” she answered truthfully, feeling like she needed to get this rule out of the way. But she felt herself blush, and felt so immature.

  “Does she have to know? I can have you home in two hours.”

  Sierra’s mind actually began to think of excuses that she could tell her mother…I’ll be home late, another horse has colic…Fiel threw a shoe on the trail and I need to wait for the farrier. “No, really, I can’t; but I appreciate the offer.” She smiled up at him, hoping he would understand. How badly she wanted to go with him! How romantic to sit at a café table, just the two of them. She imagined a red-checkered tablecloth and candle light, just like in the movies. “Um, but would you like to come to dinner at my house?”

  “Nah,” he said, offering no excuses. “At least let me give you a ride home.”

  “I can’t, my mother…”

  “Okay, little girl,” he said teasing, but she thought it sounded slightly irritated. He flicked his finger down the tip of her nose.

  Will he kiss me again?

  “See you tomorrow.” He did not kiss her, but sauntered away to his car without looking back.

  *****

  22 Going Out

  Beauty is often the perception of the least amount of energy being spent to produce a desirable outcome – a soap bubble whose glistening shape is defined by the perfect equilibrium of pressure inside and out, the brilliance of horse and rider defined by a common intent, giving their best. – Jill K. Hassler-Scoop, Equestrian Instruction

  *****

  Is this love? Sierra wondered. Every time she caught sight of Dean, or saw his name on her phone’s caller I.D., or even overheard someone mention his name; her heart raced, her stomach fluttered, her breath caught in her chest, and heat flushed throughout her body, not just her face. Her mouth and throat became dry as her palms and armpits dampened; her hands and knees trembled, and her brain froze. Thoughts of Dean were the first to enter her consciousness when she awoke and the last to fade away as she drifted to sleep. She used to enjoy school lectures, especially from the more talented teachers; but now all seemed incredibly boring since she had to force herself to pay attention and not think of Dean. She had no appetite, and ate food without interest, just to appease her stomach when it growled and grabbed at her insides to get her attention.

  Is it also love that causes the sharp pain in her heart every time he doesn’t call, every time she sees him talking to another girl, every time he passes her in the hallway as if he doesn’t see her? She had not expected love to ever be so painful.

  She did not know what their relationship was supposed to be – just friends, his girlfriend? Other sophomores seemed to think they were going out; she overheard the buzzing gossip. Katrina seemed to think so, asking when they were going to ride together, and what they were going to do on the weekend.

  When he did pay attention to her, it was so amazingly wonderful; so grand that she always forgave him in her heart for past neglect…never actually saying so to his face, for he never asked for or acted as if he needed forgiveness. It’s just his way, she told herself. His mother has never taught him consideration for others. Because when they were together, he said the sweetest things – told her he always thought about her, he missed her, she was so special, different from other girls.

  When she was with him, it was easy to believe every word. When they were apart, she tried to find excuses for him so she could still believe.

  *****

  Sierra didn’t hear from Dean for a week after their trail ride together. His sister Caroline had come for her lesson alone and Sierra didn’t feel as if she could ask her about Dean. She had just reconciled to herself, through many a wet pillow at night, that he had decided she was too much a baby, or she bored him, and he wasn’t interested in her.

  Then, he suddenly called her the following Friday night (at nine o’clock), asking if she wanted to catch a movie. She made her excuses, knowing her mother would never let her go.

  On Monday, he found her in between classes and walked with her to her next class, as if he did it all the time.

  The next day, he approached her at lunch where she sat with Allison and Katrina, and invited her to sit with him.

  “Come on Sierra, I promise I won’t bite, just my sandwich.” He raised his eyebrows in a comical way, imitating a villainous look, which caused her to giggle. “You come too, Allison. Ashley’s dying to meet you.” Dean cocked his head in the direction of his table where Ashley Brown, another senior and considered to be very hot, stared at them with an expectant expression. Crystal also sat at that table next to Stuart. The knowing smile she wore on her face raised Sierra’s suspicions.

  Nevertheless, Sierra had been about to say yes, for the last time he had invited her, Allison had told her she should have accepted. Both Allison and Katrina had encouraged her friendship with Dean…then. But now, when he blatantly excluded Katrina, she froze in her response. Things were going on that she did not understand…and she feared it had something to do with Crystal. She wondered if the obvious exclusion of Katrina had to do with Crystal and Katrina’s broken friendship. But why is it okay for him to invite me, then?

  “I’m not interested in meeting Ashley,” Allison replied in a cool tone. “Go ahead if you want,” she said to Sierra, but she kept her narrowed eyes on Dean.

  “Thanks, I’ll stay with my friends,” Sierra answered meekly.

  “It’s okay, Sierra,” Katrina encouraged. “Go ahead.”

  Sierra knew it was not okay with Allison. “Dean, I’m going to the library,” she said firmly.

  He laughed and turned away. She could not see the expression on his face, but whatever it was, it caused an uproar of laughter at his table.

  He didn’t speak to her again for the rest of the week, almost as if in retaliation. Sierra told herself she had already gotten over him once, to forget about him. But whenever she saw him, it felt as if razor sharp needles were puncturing holes in her heart.

  Then the next week he came with Caroline for a lesson. He rode first, and then while his sister had her turn, he found Sierra working Fiel in dressage exercises in the indoor arena. He watched from the rail silently. His presence disturbed her, and as she felt stiffness in Fiel’s responses she knew she had tensed up. She could not seem to ignore his presence and calm her nerves, so she gave up and gave Fiel the reins to stretch, ending her ride.

  “You’re a very good rider,” he complimented, coming up to her when she dismounted.

  “Hi, Dean,” she greeted him, wishing he would go away…but also wishing he would stay and say he was sorry.

  He walked with her to the crossties, commenting positively on her ride, and at least what he said didn’t sound like flattery. Fiel had been giving her correct shoulders-in, moving on three tracks along each long side of the arena, when she had first noticed Dean at the rail. He had seen her riding canter figure eights with a simple change of lead at the center, and Fiel working correctly off his hind end. So when he complemented her on those movements, she believed him sincere.

  After
that day, he called her almost every night, usually after nine o’clock. They talked for up to an hour; or at least Dean talked. But in amongst talking about his day, his problems with certain teachers, and his distrust of certain of his friends, he threw in what he thought of her – how understanding she was, he trusted her, and other sweet things. Sierra started leaving her phone on vibrate and moved her charger onto her bedside stand so she could grab the phone when he called and burrow under her covers so that her mother would not hear.

  He walked with her in between classes they had close together. He came up to her table at lunch to say hi, although he didn’t invite her to sit with him again.

  It was after that week that rumors started to buzz that they were going out.

  “Has Dean asked you to homecoming yet?” Katrina asked one day after announcing she had accepted a date with Kelly Ivers, a popular sophomore boy who Sierra thought was very nice.

  “No, he hasn’t said anything,” Sierra confessed. She had been wondering if he would ask her soon, for homecoming was currently the hot topic at school. Allison was going again with Peter.

  Another week went by, and if Dean wanted to take her, she needed to know. She didn’t want to wait until the last minute this year to shop for a dress, and she wanted something more grown-up than last year.

  The next time he called her, she summoned her courage to ask, “Are you going to homecoming?” She knew it was an obvious, loaded question.

  He laughed through the phone. “School dances are not my thing,” he said.

  “Oh,” she also laughed. “Yeah, I guess they are kind of dumb.”

  “Sierra, did you want to go?” he asked in a surprised tone.

  “No…I went last year and I had a horrible time.”

  “That’s because you weren’t with me,” he said teasingly.

  “Maybe, but it was pretty boring.”

  “You do want to go,” he stated.

  “No, I don’t,” she said, feeling ridiculous.

  “Tell you what, I’ll think about it.”

  And that’s what Sierra told Allison and Katrina, that he was thinking about it so they probably would go. She joined them one evening to shop for dresses and accessories, confident that Dean would end up taking her.

  But homecoming came and went, and Sierra sat at home; her new satiny, dark green dress hanging in her closet.

  She told herself all weekend that she had never really wanted to go, reminding herself of her date last year with Luke. How stupid for kids to dress up in grown up clothes that were uncomfortable to dance in; just to show off to everyone…how foolish. She tried to feel smug and mature that she had grown above such nonsense.

  Nevertheless, she felt an aching loneliness inside as she listened to everyone talking about the banquet and the dance all during the week after.

  “You know,” Allison said, “if you would sort of make it known that you’re not actually going out with Dean, some other boy might ask you out.”

  Sierra laughed, trying to sound nonchalant. “I’m not interested in anyone, and I agree with Dean. School dances are pretty stupid.”

  “Peter and I had a good time. Do you think we’re stupid?” Allison asked pointedly.

  “No, of course not…that’s not what I meant,” Sierra answered, flustered and her face reddening. She felt like she had just insulted her friend.

  “Sierra,” Allison said in a softer tone. “We’re best friends, right?”

  Sierra nodded, her throat tightening.

  “You don’t have to make excuses or try to convince me that everything is okay with you and Dean. Tell me the truth, if he had asked you to homecoming, would you have accepted?”

  “Yeah, I guess if he had wanted to go.” Sierra’s stomach felt uneasy with these questions, for she knew how perceptive Allison was.

  “But did you want to go?”

  “I didn’t have a very good time last year, remember?”

  “That wasn’t the question. Last year’s bad experiences didn’t really have anything to do with the prom itself but having to deal with Crystal and Justin, and Luke not really coming through for you.”

  Sierra ducked her head, and after a pause, looked her friend in the eye with the hurt transparent on her face. “It’s not so much that I wanted to go to the prom, but that I wanted to go out with him.”

  “Has he ever asked you out on a date?”

  “Yes, well sort of. He asked me if I wanted to get something to eat after we rode together. But you know how my mom feels about me riding in a car with a boy. And he asked me to the movies once.”

  “But he’s never come to your house to meet your mother, or made arrangements for his parents to drive so you could go out.”

  Sierra shook her head, looking at her lap.

  “I think your mother is right and you should never ride in a car alone with Dean,” Allison warned in a very serious tone.

  Sierra looked up at Allison, feeling pressure building up behind her eyes. “What do you mean?”

  “Okay, I’ve tried to keep my mouth shut about this, but you are my best friend and I have to tell you what I think. Dean is a total jerk.”

  “You don’t know him,” Sierra defended. “It’s not like he’s ever said anything like a commitment to me, or that we’re anything but friends. Why should I expect him to take me out?”

  “Everyone in school seems to expect it.”

  “But they don’t know anything.”

  “Sierra, how do you feel about him?”

  “I like him. I like being with him.” Sierra could not say even to Allison what she wanted to shout out, I love him; I’m only happy when I’m with him.

  Allison’s expression softened and she gave Sierra a hug. “I don’t want you to get hurt,” she whispered.

  *****

  It was bad enough that Allison didn’t like Dean, but River’s attitude was unbearable. Ever since Dean rode with her, River had been cold and aloof. He coached her in lessons, but afterward, walked away or talked with Katrina, who always had questions.

  Then Dean suggested that they ride together again. “I asked Crystal if I could ride her horse, and she said, ‘anytime’.”

  Sierra dreaded how River would react to that.

  “He’s going to ride Diva?” River had said incredulously when Sierra arrived at the stable, and told him the plan.

  “Crystal said he could ride her,” Sierra answered, feeling somehow traitorous. River spent many hours working with Diva, conditioning her on trails and schooling her in the arena. It did seem unfair that Dean could ride the mare on his own whim.

  “He can’t!” River exclaimed.

  “River,” Sierra said in a calm and reasonable tone. “She is Crystal’s horse and she gave him permission. I don’t think he’ll hurt her. He’s a good rider.”

  River’s expression reminded her of the way he had looked when Crystal had demanded that her horse Magic be put down after his injury. It cut into her like a sharp knife, and her first reaction was to agree, that Dean should not ride Diva. But when his expression shifted to one of contempt and anger, she became defensive, and her jaw tightened firmly as she glared back.

  River spun away and she did not see him the rest of the day.

  He is way over-reacting, she told herself, but nevertheless remorse and guilt slipped in alongside her anticipation of Dean’s arrival.

  Dean actually arrived only twenty minutes late, and his attention and chatty cheerfulness quickly overshadowed her guilt, and she forgot about River. They rode out together; Dean on Diva and Sierra on Fiel. She watched him in the saddle, and could see nothing wrong with how he rode or in Diva’s behavior.

  “Let’s take a few jumps,” Dean suggested as they left the trail and walked onto the field.

  “Tess has her on a schedule for what days she should jump, so I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Sierra replied, thinking that was a bit much to ask of a horse he was riding for the first time and didn’t belong to him.
/>   “Just a couple low ones; nothing challenging.” He smiled disarmingly, and without waiting for her to say no again, he nudged Diva away and into a canter. He guided her over a two-foot section of the rail fence, then a low stone wall, a ditch, and finished over a coop before bringing Diva down to a trot and rode her back to where Sierra waited. Diva snorted and trotted up energetically, obviously not damaged in the least. Dean beamed at Sierra and patted the mare’s neck. “How was that?”

  “You looked good,” Sierra replied, smiling at him, but thinking to herself in relief, no harm done.

  The following Saturday, as they were cleaning stalls together, Sierra tried to reason with River. “I don’t think Dean does any harm riding Diva. He’s a good rider.”

  She didn’t expect him to answer, accustomed as she was to his cold silences. But she needed to get this out in the open between them. “River, what is up what you? Are you mad at me or something?”

  “Why should I be mad at you?” he answered in a bitter tone.

  “You don’t talk to me. You won’t even look at me.”

  He looked up at her then. “I’m not mad.”

  “You act mad.”

  River maintained communication silence, mucking vigorously.

  “If you’re not mad, what is wrong then?”

  He scowled at his forkful of wet shavings. “I don’t think you should hang around with that Dean guy.”

  “Why?” she challenged.

  River shook his head.