A Mother for Cindy

by Margaret Daley

  “Sure.” Nick backed away some more, pulling Cindy with him. “See you then.” He turned and started for his SUV.

  “But, Daddy, I wanted to stay and—”

  “I need to get home and make some calls. You can see Nate later.”

  He would call his top executives and set a meeting for first thing Friday morning. Then he wouldn’t be tempted to stay another weekend that might evolve into more.

  * * *

  Jesse stared out the window over the sink toward Nick’s house. “Cindy, you did say your father would be coming shortly?”

  “Yes, he’s been on the phone most of the afternoon, but he told me he would be along soon.” The little girl stirred the secret batter.

  “Where’s Nate?”

  “Getting the croquet set out.”

  “If you want to help him, I can finish dinner by myself.”

  Cindy hopped down from the stool. “Okay. But I want to help fry the fish. Will you call me when you need me?”

  “Yeah.” Jesse put the batter mixture into the refrigerator to keep until she cooked the fish.

  When the little girl left, Jesse checked the stove clock. Six-thirty. It wasn’t like Nick to be late. She heard the front door open and close and Gramps call out to her.

  “I’m in here.”

  Gramps and Susan came into the kitchen. Jesse dried her hands on her apron as she moved toward the couple.

  “Let me see the ring.”

  Susan displayed the half carat, emerald-cut diamond in a gold setting.

  “It looks wonderful on your hand. Welcome to the family, Susan.” Jesse hugged the older woman, a sudden well of tears filling her eyes. She was so glad Gramps had found someone after being a widower for twenty years.

  “Who else is coming to dinner? Is this one of your little dinner parties to fix someone up?” Susan asked, splaying her fingers to look at her own engagement ring as though she didn’t believe it was on her hand.

  “I’m retiring.”

  “Why?” Gramps asked, walking to the stove to check what was cooking. He lifted a lid and took a deep breath. “I love green beans and new potatoes. And, Susan, this is why I go fishing so much. For the fish Jesse fries up for us.”

  “I’m through meddling in other people’s lives,” Jesse finally answered her grandfather as he finished peeking into the pots on the stove.

  “You weren’t meddling. You were trying to help.” Gramps put his arm around Susan’s shoulder. “If I’m not mistaken, you fixed us up.”

  “I was meddling.” Jesse went back to the counter, as surprised as Gramps and Susan at her declaration. She hadn’t thought about the decision; it had just come out. Now that she thought about it, however, it was for the best. “Look what almost happened with you two. You and Boswell almost got into a physical fight.”

  “But that wasn’t your doing. That was me. I set out to make Gerard jealous and it worked a little too well.”

  “You did!” Gramps stared at Susan.

  “Yes. If I hadn’t, you might have continued to be content with just dating. I wanted something more.”

  Gramps beamed. “You never said anything.”

  “I’m so glad everything worked out for you two.” Jesse walked to the stove to turn down the temperature on the food since Nick hadn’t arrived yet.

  “How about you and a certain young man?” Susan snuggled closer to Gramps.

  “By the way, where is Nick?”

  “I don’t know. He hasn’t come yet.” Jesse latched on to her grandfather’s question, hoping that Susan wouldn’t pursue hers.

  “You two sure have been seeing a lot of each other. Anything you want to tell us?”

  Jesse should have known that Susan wouldn’t let the topic go. She was the town gossip, after all. “He’s a good friend.”

  “There’s something to say about being good friends. Sometimes it leads to a relationship beyond friendship,” Susan said.

  “Not in this case. He’s leaving on Thursday.”

  “Someone should shake some sense into you two,” Gramps said, starting for the back door. “Are Nate and Cindy outside?”

  “Yes,” Jesse said as her grandfather and Susan went in search of the children, leaving her alone with her thoughts.

  She went back to the sink and looked out the window toward Nick’s house. What if he decided to stay in Sweetwater? What would she do? She thought about him being her permanent neighbor and a warm glow suffused her. Something beyond friendship? Was that possible considering their problems? A picture of two households blending into one began to take root in her mind until she put a halt to the dream. That was all it was. A dream. Something just out of reach.

  A movement out the window caught her attention. Nick strode toward her backyard. Her heart increased its beating as she anticipated him knocking on the kitchen door. When the sound came, she hurried to answer it.

  The first thing she noticed when she opened the door were the tired lines about his eyes. She stepped to the side to allow him to enter, shoving the dream to the dark recesses of her mind.

  “Is everything okay?”

  He kneaded the cords of his neck. “Yeah. Just had some business to take care of. So much to do when I return to Chicago.”

  The image of them as a couple vanished completely at those words. At every turn possible he made it clear he was going back to Chicago after Cindy’s birthday. “I thought your company was running smoothly.”

  “It is. I have a good staff, but still I have let things slide this past year. I’m thinking of expanding into a different market. I want to get moving on those plans once I return.”

  It didn’t appear as though this past year had really changed anything with Nick. His life would continue to revolve around his work with his family—Cindy—coming in second place. Her heart twisted with that thought.

  “Where does Cindy fit into your plans?”

  “I won’t neglect her.”

  “What about attending church? She has shown such an interest in God and Jesus.”

  “If she wants to continue attending, I can take her.”

  “I’m glad.” Some of her worries eased as she headed back to the stove to finish preparing the fish to fry.

  “I saw Susan and Gerard on the deck. Susan is sporting quite a rock.”

  So now they had progressed—or rather regressed—to small talk. “Yeah. I’m so happy for them. Where’s Boswell? Isn’t he coming?”

  “He’ll be along in a little while. He was packing some boxes for the move and wanted to finish what he’d started.”

  Again a reference to his leaving. Jesse sighed, trying to keep a rein on her emotions, at least glad that he was open to going to church with Cindy. But she hadn’t thought she would be so affected by her neighbor’s departure. She had come to care about Cindy—and Nick. She would miss them, and so would Nate.

  “Can I help you with anything?” Nick asked, standing in the middle of her kitchen, surprisingly looking at home there.

  She removed the bowl of batter for the fish from the refrigerator. “Cindy wanted to help me fry these. Can you tell her I’m ready?”

  “Sure. Anything else?”

  “Nope. That should about do it. We’ll eat in about twenty or thirty minutes.”

  When Nick left, Jesse sagged against the counter, drained emotionally. This was a celebration of Gramps and Susan’s engagement, but for the life of her she didn’t feel like celebrating. Sadness encased her in a cold blanket.

  * * *

  “I’ll get it,” Cindy yelled when the doorbell rang.

  She ran to it and tugged the door open. Nate stood on the porch with a red-orange-and-yellow wrapped present in his hands.

  “Come in.” Cindy grabbed his arm and dragged him inside. “You’re the first to arrive. I need to talk to you.”

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Everything.” She placed the present on the table in the entry hall, pulled him toward the den and shut the door. “We’r
e going for sure. I’ve tried talking to Daddy, but no matter what I say he isn’t changing his mind. My things are packed. What do I do now?” The question ended on a sob.

  “I don’t know. Let me think.” Nate paced about the room, his features pinched into a frown. Suddenly he stopped and faced Cindy. “I’ve got it. Whenever Mom has a problem, she prays about it. She tells me it always helps. Why don’t you pray about staying in Sweetwater?”

  “Yes. God will listen.” Cindy threw her arms about Nate and hugged him tight. When she pulled away, his cheeks were flaming red. “You are the best friend I ever had.” His face grew even redder.

  The door to the den opened and Nick stepped inside. “Cindy, you’ve got friends arriving. You should be greeting them.”

  “I wanted to say goodbye to Nate.” Cindy hurried past her father.

  “We’re not leaving yet,” Nick said, but Cindy was halfway down the hall.

  Nate started after Cindy.

  “Is Cindy all right?” Nick asked, his words stopping the boy.

  “She wants to stay here.”

  “I know. I wish we could but—” Nick couldn’t explain to the child his need to return to his normal life. This time in Sweetwater was a summer holiday, never meant to extend beyond July.

  Nate smiled. “Everything will work out. You’ll see.”

  The boy’s optimism panicked Nick. “You two aren’t planning on running away again, are you?”

  “Oh, no. We learned our lesson. Mom was so upset with me, and I don’t want to worry her like that again.”

  Relief slumped Nick’s shoulders. “Good. I don’t want to worry like that again, either.” The sound of children’s voices floated to Nick. “We’d better see who has arrived.”

  * * *

  Cindy tore into the wrapping paper on the gift that Nate had given her. Inside was a male doll made by Jesse that complemented the one her father had won at the auction. A grin lit the little girl’s face. “I love it. Thank you, Nate.” She looked toward Jesse. “And you.”

  “You’re welcome. I have another present for you.” Jesse moved through the children sitting around Cindy watching her open her gifts.

  “You do?”

  Jesse handed her the present she had specially picked out for the child.

  Cindy took the paper off more carefully this time, and when she revealed the gift, a look of awe graced her features. “A Bible.”

  “I thought you should have your own.”

  “Thank you.” Cindy stared at the book for a long moment, her fingers tracing the gold lettering of her name, engraved on the black leather.

  “I hope everyone is hungry. The pizzas are here,” Boswell announced from the doorway. “We are eating out on the deck.”

  Ten children hopped to their feet and raced toward the back of the house. The room was emptied in less than a minute except for Nick, Jesse and Cindy.

  Cindy rose more slowly and walked to Jesse. The child hugged her. “Your gifts were perfect. I love you.”

  Jesse smoothed Cindy’s hair back from her face. Her throat swelled with emotions. Swallowing several times, she said, “I love you, too. You’re a special little girl.”

  She tugged Jesse down closer so she could whisper in her ear, “I have a plan. The Bible will help me with it.” She kissed Jesse on the cheek, then hurried from the room.

  Stunned, Jesse straightened, her gaze locked with Nick’s equally surprised expression. “It was Cindy’s birthday, but I think I got the best gift of all.”

  Gone was Nick’s shock to be replaced with a frown. He stalked past Jesse, leaving her alone in the living room. Nick’s reaction to Cindy’s statement dashed any hope that he was considering staying in Sweetwater. Why had she clung to the hope that he might have wanted to? She hadn’t wanted to get involved with anyone.

  Then why does it hurt so much to see his frown?

  She wanted to escape to the safety of her home, away from Nick, away from the dream she was beginning to have—Nick, her, Nate and Cindy as a family. But she wouldn’t. This was Cindy’s special day and she was determined to stay no matter how much her heart was breaking. When they were gone tomorrow, she would put her life back together. She had done it once after Mark’s death, and she had known her husband for years. This shouldn’t hurt as badly. But it did.

  Jesse headed into the kitchen to see if she could help Boswell. He came through the back door with an empty platter. “Need any help?”

  “Yes, out there corralling eleven children.” He motioned toward the deck with his head.

  “Are you sure you don’t want me to help get the food ready?”

  “There’s nothing else to do but take the cake out and dish up the ice cream.”

  “I can do that.”

  Boswell stopped reaching for the cartons of ice cream from the freezer and stared at her. “What’s the problem?”

  “I prefer working behind the scenes.”

  He studied her for a moment. “Fine. I’ll take the cake out. Why don’t you put some ice cream in each bowl? I’ll be back in a minute to get them.”

  “Thank you,” she said, realizing she sounded almost desperate. She was glad Boswell hadn’t commented on her tone of voice.

  Jesse busied herself dishing up the chocolate ice cream into red plastic bowls, then sticking red plastic spoons in each one. She had finished with the last bowl when the back door opened. She spun about with a smile, thinking it was Boswell returning for the ice creams. Instead, it was Nick.

  She stiffened, her smile vanishing.

  Boswell hurried around Nick and placed the bowls on the large platter, then he was gone. Nick continued to stare at her with a penetrating gaze that caused her muscles to grew tighter.

  When Nick finally spoke his tone was low, void of any emotion. “Thank you for getting the clown. The children really enjoyed him, especially the animals he made out of balloons.”

  “No problem. Ken loves to perform.”

  “I also appreciate your arranging for the children from the Sunday school class to come to the party. Cindy’s having a great time.”

  Such polite strangers, Jesse thought. Is this what it is going to come down to? To part as though they never knew each other? For close to two months Nick and Cindy had consumed her every thought and awakened moments. How was she supposed to say goodbye tomorrow and not be affected?

  Because his gaze had narrowed on her face as though he were trying to read her innermost thoughts, Jesse turned away and cleaned up the mess she had made spooning the ice cream into the bowls. Her hand shook as she wiped the counter. “I’m glad the party is a success.”

  “Only because of you.”

  A wealth of emotion sounded in his voice so close that she jumped, startled by his nearness. She whirled about. Nick stood not a foot from her and she hadn’t even heard him moving toward her. For a few seconds his vulnerability that he had occasionally allowed her to see flashed into his eyes, making them dark. Automatically she started to reach for him. He saw and backed up, an arm’s length away.

  “I wish things could have been different between us, Jesse, but I’m no good at marriage. It’s best I leave and, frankly, coming next summer wouldn’t be a good option for either one of us.”

  With her heart cracking into pieces, she nodded. “Of course, you’re right. Why subject each other to our presence? And Cindy doesn’t need false hope. She’s been through enough without having her think there could be more between us.” She was amazed at how calm her voice was while inside she was coming apart atom by atom.

  “It’s not you, Jesse. It’s me. I did a lousy job with my first marriage. I don’t repeat mistakes.”

  “I see you still haven’t forgiven yourself, have you?”

  “I’m working on it. I’m learning to pray again.” He released a heavy sigh. “My life has been so mixed up this past year. I need to get back to what is familiar. Nothing has been and I feel so lost at times.”

  Jesse began to gather the pieces
of her heart to her; she began to erect a barrier between herself and Nick. She had to if she was going to get through his departure. “I imagine when you get back to Chicago, Sweetwater will seem like a nice but brief interlude in your life. I’m glad you’re exploring your relationship with God. He will help you when you need it. Now I’d better get out there before Cindy wonders where I am.” She started past him.

  He grasped her arm and halted her step. “Jesse, I wish it could—”

  “Hey, I enjoyed your company and friendship, but it is time to move on. I told you at the beginning I wasn’t looking for anything more than friendship.” She didn’t tell him that had changed somewhere over the weeks she had gotten to know him. She didn’t want him to feel any worse than he already did about leaving Sweetwater.

  “Sure.” He released his grip on her arm and watched her walk to the door.

  The drill of his gaze into her back propelled Jesse to move fast before her facade crumpled and she wept for what wouldn’t be…in front of him.

  Out on the deck the warm July sun heated her body but didn’t completely rid her of the chill that was embedded deep in her bones. She rubbed her hands up and down her arms to chase the cold away. Focusing on the eleven children sitting at the long table eating cake and ice cream, she forced herself to live for the moment—not in the past and certainly not in the future.

  But as she approached Cindy, she thought that in twenty-four hours she would be gone from her life—Nick would be gone—for good. She offered the child a false smile while inside a part of her froze.

  * * *

  Dressed and ready to leave Sweetwater, Cindy knelt by the bed and clasped her hands. “God, I need Your help. I want Daddy to stay here. I want Daddy to marry Jesse. Please help me find a mother.”

  “Cindy, are you ready to go?” Nick peered around the partially opened door. “What are you doing, princess?”

  Cindy rose. “Praying to God about staying here.”

  Nick felt as though his daughter had reached into his chest and squeezed his heart in her fist. He wished he could give her what she wanted; he just couldn’t make that commitment. He was trying to put his life back together after this past difficult year. How could he uproot that life and live in Sweetwater—pursue Jesse?