Twice Upon a Soul

by Deborah R Stigall

  Chapter Thirteen

  Finally sitting up at the table, Zelda’s green shawl tucked snugly around her body, Taylor caught her breath in amazement as a great snowy owl suddenly alit upon the outside windowsill. The huge dark eyes watched her with an unblinking stare. The pristine white feathers slightly ruffling with the wind, as the great owl peered with interest through the windowpane, staring back at her with its great mysterious eyes. The majestic bird seemed to barely cock its head in her direction as though studying her and pondering her existence.

  Taylor held her breath as the beautiful creature slowly sidled closer to her along the sill. She’d never seen an owl so close. Stretching its wings as though to impress her with its snowy white tunic, the owl seemed to bow respectfully in her direction then gracefully flew away. Turning from the window, Taylor found Zelda watching her in silence, a half smile gently shadowing her face.

  “Aye, the Great Owl Spirit traveled far from Great Oak ta’ greet Her and make Her feel welcome.” Zelda observed with a slight nod toward the disappearing owl.

  “The Owl Spirit? Zelda, what are you talking about? That was the most beautiful snowy owl I’ve ever seen.” Taylor stretched, peering out the window to see which direction the owl was taking.

  “Aye,” Zelda nodded again as she placed a bowl of steaming grain in front of Taylor at the table. “She lives deep inside woods within Great Oak of many years. Her wisdom great and she doesna’ reveal herself ta’ anyone who isna’ worthy.”

  Arching her brows in disbelief, Taylor shrugged off Zelda’s superstitions as the steaming bowl of grain caught her eye. Picking up her spoon to poke delicately at the pile of mush within the bowl, Taylor wrinkled her nose slightly at the gummy substance before her. She’d never been a fan of oatmeal or any of the other hot cereals usually eaten for breakfast and this lumpy concoction before her seemed less then inviting.

  “It doesna’ taste nearly as horrid as it looks,” a deep voice behind her observed with amusement.

  Turning slightly on the bench, Taylor’s heart warmed as she raised her eyes to gaze into Quinlan’s smiling face. Glancing over to the hearth at Zelda busily preparing the rest of the meal, Taylor slid the bowl slightly toward Quinlan and whispered, “Then you eat it.”

  “The Laird has a bowl of his own,” Zelda replied with a stern glance over one shoulder. “Ye must eat the grain…’twill give ye the strength ye need to greet the day.”

  Chuckling barely under his breath as he slid onto the bench beside her, Quinlan leaned closer to Taylor and whispered conspiratorially into her ear. “Zelda’s hearing is amazing at times…never think that she canna hear ye.”

  As Zelda plopped an even larger steaming bowl in front of Quinlan, she paused, shaking a bony finger in his grinning face. “Dinna be disrespectful m’Laird. ‘Tis beneath ye ta’ be so.”

  Hiding her smile behind her hand, Taylor nearly chuckled aloud when she saw the woeful look of repentance Quinlan struggled to muster across his face.

  At the sight of Taylor’s twinkling eyes and shoulders trembling with laughter, Zelda placed her hands to her bony hips, glaring impatiently at the uneaten cereal. “Her must eat!” she intoned once more, frowning as she tapped her tiny foot upon the rush-covered floor.

  Realizing that if she didn’t eat Zelda would more then likely hold her captive at the table forever, Taylor methodically forced herself to swallow a few spoonfuls of the steamy porridge. Pleasantly surprised at the rich buttery taste, Taylor soon downed enough of the cereal to satisfy Zelda, who stood over her watchful as a hawk to ensure that she ate her meal.

  Watching with shielded amusement as Quinlan obediently scraped his own bowl clean, Taylor politely reached over to collect the empty bowl. Placing his bowl neatly within her own, she rose to take them both to the wash basin. Slightly teetering on her feet from rising too fast from the bench, she quickly plopped back down with a thud, dropping the empty bowls into her lap.

  Quickly steadying her shoulders with his hands, Quinlan held Taylor tightly, a look of concern flashing across his face as he worriedly stared into her eyes. “Are ye all right, lass? What are ye doin’ takin’ the bowls? Sit down…ye must not do such things.”

  Rushing to retrieve the bowls from Taylor’s lap, Zelda clucked her tongue disapprovingly. “Her must rest! Her must take care! Even when Her is finally well, Her must not do these things. Is for Zelda ta’ care for Her!”

  Raising her hand weakly to push her hair from her face, Taylor frowned in frustration at both of them. “Well…you do things,” she accused, staring at Quinlan in aggravation.

  Taking both her hands gently between his own, Quinlan smiled softly as he barely traced his thumb along the inside of her wrist. “I am not special…not like you. I am not of this place…nor am I gifted,” he replied, looking down into Taylor’s confused green eyes.

  “What do you mean that I’m gifted? I’m just as ordinary as you are. ” She shook her head curtly as she argued, a sense of uneasiness gently disrupting the cereal resting in her stomach.

  His mouth crooked to one side of his face as he idly rubbed his chin; Quinlan shook his head slowly as he tried to explain. “Ye are not mortal…not the way that I am. Ye are connected…I guess ye’d say…ta’ this place and ta’ this dimension. All of the beasts within this realm will pay heed ta’ ye…do yer bidding and understand anything ye might say to them. If it was the warm season, the time of growth and planting, the land itself would respond ta’ yer touch…bringing forth what e’er ye asked of it.” Quinlan paused; slightly biting his lower lip as he wondered just how much Taylor was strong enough to hear. The crossing through the passageway had nearly killed her, the lost souls within the passage trying viciously to separate her spirit from her flesh. How could he sit there and tell her all she needed to know, without slipping and telling her she’d never be returning to what she knew as home?

  Shaking her head slowly, Taylor stared down at her hands lying tiny and helpless within Quinlan’s grasp. “You’re wrong. I don’t understand how what you’re saying could be true. I grew up happily in good old western Kentucky.” Her breath came quickly, her mind reeling with all that he was attempting to tell her. Still weakened from the ordeal in the passageway, she raised a trembling hand to her head. All she wanted was to get back home….get Quinlan out of here and leave all of this behind her. She knew where she belonged…and it wasn’t here. How could she make him understand?

  “Ye first existed…were first created in this place. Ye come from this land. Ye dinna arrive in the world that ye know until the Blessed Brighid had mended yer soul within the deep abyss. Then ye were reborn…reincarnated ta’ the woman ye remember as yer mother. I know ‘tis hard ta’ understand…its taken hundreds of years fer me ta’ see the truth m’self,” Quinlan struggled as he tried to explain, searching for a way to make it easier for her. “’Twill all become clearer ta’ ye, once yer memories of the life before begin ta’ return. Then ye’ll understand what I mean…and this place will once again feel like home.”

  His words sending a shiver of apprehension down her spine, Taylor rubbed her throbbing temples as she slowly stood beside the bench. Steadying herself for a moment against the table, she finally teetered her way back to the bed. As she slowly lowered herself to the side of the bed, she wrinkled her forehead in confusion. “I don’t see how this place would ever feel like home…and why is it so important since I’m not staying here?” Slowly she crawled beneath the blankets, weakly lowering her head to the pillow. “As soon as I’m strong enough, we’re going back…right?” she asked, searching Quinlan’s face for an answer.

  As Zelda tucked the blankets up around Taylor’s body, Quinlan smoothed the hair away from her forehead. “As soon as yer strong enough,” he mumbled against her skin as he brushed his lips across her forehead. Then turning quickly, he strode across the room and was out the door before she could say another word. The trail of his kiss still tingling across her brow as she stared across the room. />
  ~*~

  The sweetest fragrance, flowery and clean seemed to waft through the air, caressing Taylor’s sense of smell as she dreamt of a field full of honeysuckle and lilacs. Her nose twitching to identify the inviting scent, Taylor roused from her pillow, finding her bed completely covered with flowers. The vibrant reds and purples formed into blossoms she’d never seen before, the centers opening to reveal glowing yellows and fiery oranges deep inside. Black velvety stamens rose from the centers, reminding Taylor of the tiger lilies her mother used to grow when she was a little girl.

  As Taylor lifted the sweet bouquet to her face filling her lungs with the flowery perfume, Zelda appeared beside the bed, a crock of water held between her hands. “Laird bring to Her from Zelda’s greenery. He choose these blossoms himself.” Her slanted amethyst eyes twinkled proudly, at the thoughtfulness of her laird. Setting the crock on the table beside the bed, Zelda smiled as she reached for the flowers. Her thin green fingers talented and nimble, Zelda helped Taylor arrange the long green stems into a pleasing array.

  “They’re beautiful,” Taylor breathed with a smile, gently caressing the silky petals. “I’m glad he’s turned out to be such a kind person…I was sort of afraid to trust him.”

  At Taylor’s use of the word trust, a worried scowl flitted across Zelda’s face. Pursing her lips tightly together, she avoided Taylor’s eyes. “Hmmmppf,” clearing her throat uncomfortably; Zelda stared down into the vase full of flowers. “The Laird loves Her and only wants things ta’ be as they once were…Her must always remember that.”

  Confused at Zelda’s quiet advice, Taylor started to ask her to explain what she meant when Quinlan walked through the door. Shaking the snow from his cloak before he hung it upon the peg, Quinlan’s eyes seemed to glow with happiness as he smiled his welcome at Taylor. With a slight nod to Zelda, he sat on the edge of the bed, waiting for her to quietly slip out of the room before he started to speak.

  “D’ye like the wee flowers?” he asked a bit shyly, nodding toward the blossoms on the table.

  “They’re beautiful…thank you,” Taylor replied, smiling as she turned her head to admire the silky colors. “It was really nice of you to pick them for me…I’ve never seen any like those.”

  “Ye’ll no have seen any like those flowers before because they dinna exist anywhere but here. Many things within this place are wondrous and unique. Ye have much to see when ye’re well.” Quinlan stared deeply into her eyes, hesitantly reaching out to stroke her cheek. The urge to take her in his arms was almost painful, the need to hold her an unbearable ache. With a sigh of resignation, Quinlan struggled against the desire to touch her…it was time he told her the truth.

  Staring up into his flashing blue eyes, Taylor had the strangest feeling she had looked up into his eyes like this before. Unconsciously reaching out to touch his arm, she frowned as the familiarity of the motion startled her.

  Quinlan drew a ragged breath as he pulled away from her hand. The sight of her, the scent of her so close and finally so attainable was driving him quite mad. The beast in him wanted to rip the blankets away from her body and join with her right there in her sick bed. But his heart full of love restrained his physical need, knowing the joining would be less then complete, if Taylor was unaware of the truth or was unready to welcome him into her arms.

  Forcing his eyes away from her face, Quinlan stood to walk across the room. Inhaling deeply in a vain attempt at reining in his emotions; mentally, he shook himself as he ran his hands through his hair. Once she understood the deception…once she forgave him and accepted him willingly, then he would finally claim her body and soul, showing her that he loved her with all of his being.

  “Quinlan?” Taylor called to him from across the room. Her eyes wide and beautiful in her pale face, watching him in confusion as he paced about the room.

  At the sound of her voice, Quinlan clenched his fists to his sides as he prepared to make his confession. Returning to the chair beside the bed, he carefully placed himself far enough away to purposely avoid any physical contact with Taylor. The mere sight of the woman made his senses reel, if he was ever to get through this confession, he’d best not touch her; lest he toss all caution to the wind and take her before she had heard the truth. If that happened he knew she would never forgive him…he would never forgive himself.

  “Taylor,” Quinlan groaned hesitantly, his voice strained as he struggled to control it. “It’s time we talked about the gateway…the passageway back ta’ yer world.”

  Straightening the blankets, Taylor folded her hands in her lap, waiting patiently for him to continue. He’d turned out to be such a caring man, she was anxious for them to return home. Maybe he was the one she’d been waiting for all this time…maybe they could be happy together.

  At the sight of her trusting eyes…her patient listening, Quinlan groaned in misery, rubbing his hands across his face as though to wipe away her complacent stare. Jumping out of the chair, striding across the room, he ran his hands nervously through his hair. “I canna think when ye look at me like that!” he huffed irrationally.

  Taylor didn’t answer, watching Quinlan with mild amusement, as she patiently waited for him to continue. She couldn’t understand what was aggravating him so…but surely she could help him work through it. Maybe he was afraid to return to her world…a lot had changed since the time of the clans.

  “Ye canna leave this place…the gateway is closed,” Quinlan finally blurted out. Mentally cursing himself for not thinking of a better way to tell her, he pounded the table with his fist in frustration. This wasn’t how he’d meant to tell her the truth. Why in the hell wouldn’t the right words come to him now?

  The smile slowly fading from her face, Taylor’s eyes narrowed as she straightened bolt upright against the pillows. “What are you saying?” she demanded in a chilled whisper, all the trust completely disappearing from her eyes.

  Returning to the chair beside her bed, Quinlan leaned forward as he clumsily tried to explain. “The gateway willna’ open again for hundreds of this world’s years…even then, it may not open ta’ the exact place where ye passed through. Ye can never return to whence ye came. Ye must stay here…in this place forever.”

  Taylor stared at Quinlan in silence, unwilling to believe what she had just heard, words escaping her as she felt the panic rising…slowly suffocating her to death. The meaning of his words shocked her…petrifying her soul with what they truly meant. “Do you mean to tell me I can never go back?” Taylor whispered in an eerily quiet voice. “I’m trapped here…forever…in this place lost in time…this place where I don’t belong?”

  At Quinlan’s silent nod of affirmation, Taylor’s strained dam of restraint finally broke loose. Releasing a deluge of emotions from deep within her soul, she hugged her weakened body until she was kneeling upon the bed. Her emerald eyes snapping with rage, the iciness of her voice chilled Quinlan’s heart. “But I have a life back there! I’ve got friends and ….people I care about. What about my job? What about my apartment? I worked hard and sacrificed everything to get where I am!” Taylor pounded her fists against the blanket, tears of anger welling up and overflowing from her eyes. “There has got to be a way out of this place! I never planned on staying here! I was coming here to get you and take you back to my world! I thought that’s what you wanted me to do. You kept begging me to find you!”

  At that moment, the realization that Quinlan knew that she’d be unable to return to her world registered somewhere in her mind through the cloud of her rage. Eyes narrowed in an accusatory glare, Taylor pointed a trembling finger straight at Quinlan’s face, her voice quivering with unmasked hatred. “You knew I wouldn’t be able to get back…didn’t you?”

  At Quinlan’s guilty nod of admission, Taylor exploded into another tirade. “You lying son-of-a-bitch! How could you! How could you trap me here? I knew I shouldn’t have trusted you…I knew it!” Clutching the blankets in her tightly clenched fists; Taylor slowly rocke
d back and forth upon the bed. “I can’t stay here….I can’t live here…I can’t…I won’t!” She hiccuped and gasped into the blankets clutched hysterically to her face.

  At the sight of her suffering, Quinlan couldn’t remain silent any longer. He had to make her understand. “I was sworn ta’ silence by the Furies and the Goddess Brighid…ye must try ta’ understand. I love ye, Taylor….ye’re m’wife and I had to ensure yer return. I couldna’ tell ye of the gateway…of the finality of the choice ye’d be making.”

  “I am not your wife, dammit! I don’t even know you! How many times do I have to say that…and what choice? You stole away my right to choose when you chose not to be honest with me!” Taylor had finally reached the point of hysterical anger, finding herself trapped and frightened in the strange unknown world. “You didn’t tell me because you were afraid I’d never come if I knew the truth! You know damn good and well that I don’t belong in this place…it was all a lie just to trick me into coming here! What’s the matter? Aren’t there any females in this world young enough to satisfy you in bed? You’re nothing more then a lying bastard. I hate you and I won’t be happy until I see you burning in hell!”

  Grabbing Taylor by the shoulders, Quinlan lifted her up off her knees. Bringing her to his eye level, he glared into her face as he shook her fiercely to make her listen. “Ye are my wife, damn ye! Once ye’re here for a while…the memories will become clearer….and I was sworn to secrecy by the Furies. Dinna ever call me a liar again!”

  Clenching her teeth to keep from biting her tongue, Taylor squeezed her eyes shut against the tears. Clawing at his arms to force him to release her, she shrank from the touch of his hands. Finally, Quinlan threw her back to the bed, shaking the very bed frame with the force of her body. Standing over her as he stared down into her face, his massive chest heaving beneath the rough linen shirt, he trembled with hurt and anger as he watched the hatred smoldering in her eyes.