A Sweethaven Christmas

by Courtney Walsh

  “I thought about doing something big and public, but the truth is, Cam, I just wanted it to be me and you. For as long as we both shall live.”

  “It’s perfect, Luke, thank you so much.”

  Luke took her hands. “I’ve never been so sure about anything in my life. When I imagine myself five, ten—even fifty—years from now, you’re there.”

  “How do I look?”

  He laughed. “I’m serious. I don’t want to wait. I want to marry you and make decisions with you and have kids with you.”

  She smiled. “So, are you going to ask me a question?”

  Luke straightened, not looking away from her. “Campbell Jane Carter, will you marry me?”

  Her face flushed with heat as he took her face in his hands, wiping a tear from her cheek as he drew her closer to him.

  “I thought you’d never ask,” she said.

  He closed the gap between them, his lips covering hers and reminding her how quickly she could lose herself in him. In seconds, she’d forgotten all the disappointment leading up to that moment and let herself get a little lost in the depth of his kiss.

  Luke pulled away and held her gaze. “Is that a yes?”

  She nodded, unable to pull her eyes away from his. “That’s a huge yes.”

  Lila

  When Lila left Adele’s house, her heart was full. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d had such a joyful, laid-back Christmas celebration, and in her current state, she needed it.

  The best part might’ve been meeting Charlotte’s family. Charlotte and her husband Andy arrived with their three kids in tow, and Lila greeted them in the entryway.

  “Lila, this is my family,” Charlotte said. “My husband Andy.”

  Tall, yet somewhat stocky, Andy had a kind face and a nice smile. He shook Lila’s hand, then Tom’s. “Good to meet you both, and thanks for having us.”

  “And this is our son Drew and our girls Julia and Maddie.”

  One by one, Lila shook their hands, and when she got to Maddie, the little girl smiled at her. “Thank you,” she said.

  Lila glanced at Charlotte, who watched Maddie with pride.

  “For what?”

  “For getting tested,” Maddie said. “It’s what I wanted most for Christmas.”

  Lila’s throat swelled and she bit the inside of her lip to keep from crying. “I’m happy to do it, Maddie. I’m praying we can get you all better.”

  Charlotte’s family had fit right in, and Lila began to imagine getting together with her sister after she had the baby. Charlotte had even talked about renting a cottage in Sweethaven for a week this summer or flying down to Macon after the baby came.

  The idea of it, which would’ve sent her into a frenzy only a few short weeks ago, warmed Lila’s heart and made her think maybe she actually had a chance at a normal family.

  “What do you think Mama and Daddy did today?” Lila broke the silence with her unintentional question.

  Tom glanced at her, then back to the road. “Do you want to go find out?”

  Lila played with the ring on her left hand. “I feel bad for them, Tom.”

  “That’s good.”

  She gave him a puzzled look.

  “You’ve changed. A year ago, finding this out about your parents, well, you would’ve written them off once and for all. But here you are, thinking about them and feeling bad for them. It’s good.”

  Lila stared out the window. Tom was right. All these years, she’d been the person her mother had raised her to be, but there had been so many other influences—Suzanne and Adele and Jane—people who taught her what unconditional love looked like. Perhaps she’d become more like them than she realized.

  Perhaps she’d always been more like them and less like Mama.

  “Can you take me there?” Lila asked.

  “To the lake house?”

  She nodded.

  “You sure?”

  “I think so.”

  Her parents might not even be there. They might have gone back to Macon after they found out Lila and the baby were both going to be fine.

  Tom made the turn into the driveway and Lila realized she was holding her breath. The empty driveway gave nothing away. Daddy would’ve put the car in the garage. She wouldn’t know if they were home until she knocked on the door.

  “Wait there, the driveway looks slick,” Tom said, turning off the engine. He walked around to her side of the car and helped her out. The fall at the Whitmore fresh in her mind, Lila clung to his arm. With his strength behind her, she felt solid and strong.

  Those feelings waned as soon as she rang the bell.

  Moments later, the door opened and Mama stood on the other side of the glass.

  “Can we come in?”

  Mama didn’t say a word. Instead, she opened the door and allowed them to pass by her, into the entryway.

  “Is Daddy here?”

  “In his study.”

  Lila called for her father, who appeared in the doorway, a shocked look on his face.

  “Are you here to apologize?” Mama asked. She stood, glaring, arms crossed in front of her.

  Lila’s nerve dwindled, but Tom’s hand on the small of her back reminded her why she’d come.

  “I came to tell you that I forgive you both.”

  Mama’s brows shot upward. “You forgive us?”

  “Parents can do wrong by their children, Mama.” Lila pressed her lips together. “Some of them even say they’re sorry.” She was careful to keep her tone calm. She hadn’t come for a fight—she simply knew if she didn’t get it out, the only person it would harm was her.

  Daddy took a few steps toward her, but one glance at Mama and he stilled.

  All these years, she thought Daddy had the upper hand, but the scene in front of her painted a very different picture.

  “I’ve realized something the past few weeks,” Lila said, her voice shaking. “I’ll never be good enough for you, and that’s okay.”

  Mama looked away, an annoyed expression on her face.

  “Because I’m not supposed to be who you want me to be. I’m supposed to be who God made me to be.”

  “Now you’re going to bring God into all this?” Mama scoffed.

  “God made me to be different from you—both of you. And while I hope one day we can get past all of this, I know that the family I have with Tom is what’s really important now. I’m going to make my own mistakes, but I can promise you, I’m not going to repeat yours.”

  “You sound more high and mighty than ever.”

  “Cilla, let her talk.” Daddy’s face had turned to stone.

  Mama opened her mouth to say something but quickly closed it.

  “The truth is, I want you both to love me, and I want you to know our son.”

  Daddy’s eyes widened.

  “It’s a boy.” Lila let her hands rest on her stomach where her son grew. “But you already have a grandson, Daddy.”

  Daddy frowned.

  “His name is Drew and he’s very sweet.”

  Mama stiffened. “You’ve met him?”

  Lila nodded.

  “How could you do that to us, Lila?”

  “I didn’t do anything to you, Mama. I did it for me. I want to know my family. I want to try to save my niece’s life. Something you should’ve done.” Lila took a deep breath.

  Neither of her parents said a word. Daddy seemed lost in thought and Mama looked like she might explode.

  So far, this was going exactly as she expected. Why couldn’t she just forgive them quietly—by herself?

  “I’m not saying this to hurt you. It’s just what needed to be said so I could move on.”

  Mama leveled her glare. “I hope you’re happy with yourself. Because of you, our family has fallen apart. We can’t go back now—all we can do is pretend none of this ever happened.”

  Lila’s heart sank. Mama hadn’t listened to a word she said. She glanced at Tom, who’d stayed silent by her side the whole ti
me. Even without her parents, she knew she could count on her husband. “We can go, Tom.”

  “That’s all you came here for?” Mama asked.

  “There is somewhere to go from here, but on the outside it won’t look all pretty and wrapped up in a red bow. It’ll mean coming clean with Charlotte—making things right with the whole family. Admitting your mistakes.” She stared at Mama. “Why I thought you could do that, I’m not sure.”

  “Thank you for coming, Lila,” Daddy said.

  Lila glanced at him, a shell of a man. His lies threatened to unravel him.

  “Come to the Christmas Eve service,” Lila said, walking toward her father. “Charlotte brought her family, and Tom and I will be there. We want to spend Christmas with you.”

  Lila detected a hint of hopefulness in his expression.

  “You can go now, Lila,” Mama said. “We’re spending Christmas Eve here.”

  Lila’s eyes pleaded with Daddy’s—to make the right choice, to make things right not just with her, but with Charlotte and his grandchildren. The thought surprised even her, but she wanted that—for all of them.

  “It starts at midnight.”

  As soon as Lila and Tom cleared the door, her mother slammed it shut behind them and Lila burst into tears. Tom wrapped his arm around her waist and steadied her down the slippery steps.

  “Why did I think anything I said would matter?”

  They walked around to the other side of the car where Tom made sure she got in safely. Once they were on the road, he took her hand. “I’m proud of you for standing up to her like that.”

  “It didn’t do any good.”

  “You can’t change her, Lila. The only thing you can do is get yourself right. You did that today—for maybe the first time ever.”

  Lila let his words hover in the air, winding their way into her heart. He was right. She wasn’t retaliating or trying to wound them with her words. She said what she needed to say to move on. To forgive them.

  And something about that freed her in a way she hadn’t expected.

  Lila

  The Sweethaven Chapel had never looked so beautiful. Candlelit and glowing, the little church beckoned, like the safe haven it had always been. What better place to celebrate Christmas?

  Still, despite the beauty, Lila’s eyes were as heavy as her heart. She hadn’t fully recovered from her talk with her parents, but she discovered her sadness wasn’t for herself. It was for them. Their inability to move past the sins of the past held them captive—frozen exactly where they were, where they’d always been.

  It hardly seemed fair, but clearly she couldn’t get through to them.

  That would take a miracle.

  Again, she clung to Tom’s arm as she headed up the walk. The cold air nipped through her, biting in the dark.

  “Makes you miss Georgia, doesn’t it?”

  Lila glanced up at the chapel. Luminaries lined the walkway leading to the door. The building had been outlined with white lights, and as someone up ahead walked inside, she caught a glimpse of the candlelit sanctuary.

  “No, I think it’s perfect that we’re here for Christmas,” she said.

  Inside, she saw the cluster of her friends, all circled around Campbell with grins on their faces.

  Tom caught Campbell’s eye. “He must’ve finally asked her.”

  Lila looked at her husband.

  “He came to me over a month ago and told me he wanted to marry her. Felt he should run it by me first.” Tom smiled. “Made me feel like a father.”

  Lila took his hand. “You’re going to be a wonderful father. You are a wonderful father.”

  They moved toward Campbell and Luke, handing out their congratulations and eyeing her ring. Months ago, Lila would’ve found a way to criticize Campbell’s smallish diamond, but this new version of her could find nothing but joy for Tom’s daughter.

  They’d purposely arrived early, and now weariness swept through Lila like a gust of wind. “I think I need to sit down,” she told Tom.

  Moments later, Charlotte and her family arrived and joined the others in the right section of the sanctuary. People began to filter in, candles waiting to be lit, quiet murmurings filling the little church.

  Adele scooted in the pew in front of them, Henry at her side and beaming. “Lila, you didn’t tell me your mother was coming,” she said, sitting down, head still turned toward the back of the church.

  “I invited her but she said no.”

  “Looks like she changed her mind.”

  Lila turned and saw Mama standing in the back, scanning the crowd and looking a little lost. She sighed. “This can’t be good.”

  Tom followed her gaze to where Mama stood. “Maybe she’ll surprise you.”

  Not likely.

  Lila met Mama in the small lobby. “You came?”

  She lifted her chin ever so slightly. “Can I talk to you?”

  People filtered through the lobby like it was command central. Lila spotted Jane coming out of a room down a narrow hallway.

  “Hey, you’re here,” Jane said when she reached Lila. “I’m getting ready to go on stage to welcome everyone.”

  Lila smiled. “Is there a room back there? Somewhere private?”

  Jane’s eyes darted to Lila’s mother and then back to Lila. “Of course. There are Sunday school rooms. They’re all empty, so feel free.”

  Moments later, Lila found herself face-to-face with her mother in the solace of a small room decorated for preschoolers. The tables sat low to the ground with kid-size chairs pushed underneath.

  “This won’t take long,” Mama said.

  Lila nodded. She hoped not. She didn’t think she could withstand another verbal beating from her mother. Only a few hours had passed since the last one.

  “I’ve been thinking a lot about what you said. Not just today, but over the past few weeks—ever since that woman appeared in our lives.”

  “Charlotte.”

  Mama looked away. “You were right.”

  “I was?”

  Her mother nodded. “Your father was married when we met. To Charlotte’s mother.”

  Lila’s eyes fell to the rainbow-colored rug beneath her feet.

  “What you didn’t guess was that it wasn’t in your father’s nature to step out on his wife. At least, it wasn’t until he met me.”

  Lila looked up.

  Mama turned and walked toward her reflection in the dark windows. “I guess you’d say I seduced him. I knew I was beautiful. His wife was pregnant and we all know what that does to a woman.”

  Lila met her own reflection, set apart from her mother’s. She couldn’t deny she looked less than attractive.

  “Getting him to stray was easy, but that wasn’t enough for me. I wanted him for myself—at least, I thought I did. So, I let myself get pregnant.”

  Lila tried to process this admission. “I was a trap?”

  Mama turned to her. “Yes. You were. And once your father left his wife and daughter, I had exactly what I thought I wanted.”

  Lila sat down in the only adult-size chair in the room. It was even worse than she thought. Being an accident was one thing, but being a trap was something else entirely. “But, it didn’t turn out to be what you thought it would be.”

  Mama’s gaze fell to the floor. “I was crazy about him, Lila,” she said, wistful. “I fell in love with him and made it my life’s ambition to make him fall in love with me. But the more time we spent together, the less he seemed to want to be with me—with us. And I started to feel like I was the one who was trapped.”

  “Because of me.” A lump formed in Lila’s throat.

  Mama pulled her shoulders back. “I think I always resented you for that. I thought if I never got pregnant, he never would’ve left them and I’d have been free to move on.”

  Lila had no words.

  “And I came here tonight to tell you . . .” Mama pressed her lips together. “I’m sorry for that.” When their eyes met, Lila saw sincer
ity waiting for her for the first time. “All of this, it is my fault. As much as I hate to admit it.”

  Lila watched a discomfort come over her mother. “I know it was hard for you to come here.”

  “Every time I tried to say anything about it, I lashed out at you instead. It’s how I deal with my own disappointment, I suppose.”

  “I’ve been known to do the same.”

  Mama shook her head. “No, Lila, in many ways, you’ve always been your own person. When you forgave Tom, I was amazed by you.”

  “I thought you were disappointed.”

  Mama’s eyes filled with tears. “I was proud.”

  Proud? Mama had never in all her life told Lila she was proud of her.

  “Mama, I’m not going to lie. What you did—stealing a married man, trapping him into marrying you—it’s terrible.”

  Mama looked away.

  “And I think it’s affected every relationship you have.”

  “It has,” Mama whispered.

  In that moment, Lila glimpsed the shame Mama had been living with all these years. She didn’t need Lila to tell her what she’d done was wrong—she’d been telling herself that ever since Lila had been born. Over forty years of living with the pain of a regret Lila couldn’t fathom.

  Lila stood. “Mama, I accept your apology, and I do forgive you, but you have to forgive yourself now.”

  Lila watched as her mother dotted her eyes with a tissue before any tears could fall. And in an instant, the Cilla Adler she’d always known had returned. Poised and put together. “I don’t think that’s going to happen. All these years, I’ve stayed in a marriage with a man I didn’t love just because I felt guilty. How could I steal him away and then walk out? It made no sense. Besides, I had a right to him—so I put up with all of it. I decided that was my punishment.”

  “But you did love him once.”

  Mama looked pensive again. “I did. Very much.”

  Lila thought of Adele and Henry—how they’d found each other again after all this time. It could be the same for her parents, couldn’t it? “Why don’t you start over? A new slate—with everything out in the open.”

  She cocked her head and looked at Lila. “When did you get to be such a hopeless romantic? Things don’t work out that way in real life.”